Galaxy Quest

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Galaxy Quest is a 1999 film: a parody of Star Trek and the cult following and conventions it has spawned. The movie is about the washed-up stars of a fictional 1978–1982 TV series called Galaxy Quest and an alien race (the Thermians) who, having no concept of fiction, believe it to be a "historical document." The Thermians have modeled every aspect of their society on the show, including building a fully functional replica of the show's ship, the NSEA Protector. The actors subsequently join the crew of the real Protector, with the Thermians under the impression that the actors really are their characters, to try and stop General Sarris, a villain who threatens to destroy the Thermians.

Directed by Dean Parisot. Screenplay by David Howard and Robert Gordon.
"Never give up, never surrender!" Taglines

Contents

[edit] Dialogue

Gwen DeMarco: You've got to admit, they really do love him.
Tommy Webber: Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.
Guy Fleegman: Hey, guys. Th-there's a red thingy moving toward the green thingy.
Jason Nesmith: What?
Guy Fleegman: Red thingy. Moving toward the green thingy. I think we're the green thingy.
[Tommy is trying to steer the ship through a minefield.]
Sir Alexander Dane: Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?
[The actors are flying a shuttle to an alien planet.]
Guy Fleegman: [whimpering] I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane: After all the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something is up there and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy that gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not going to die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh — I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: Do I? Do I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! [puts his head on Gwen's shoulder and cries] Mommy! Mommy!
[The shuttle has landed and the hatch is being opened by Fred.]
Guy Fleegman: Hey! Don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is there air? You don't know! [begins holding his breath]
Fred Kwan: [calmly sniffs the air and takes a few panting breaths] Seems okay.
[Jason is being menaced by a huge monster made of rocks.]
Tommy Webber: Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: It doesn't have any eyes!
Tommy Webber: Well, then, go for the throat or something. Its vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: I know! You'll need to make a weapon. Look around; can you construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Fred Kwan: We gotta turn off that valve. Their oxygen's almost gone.
Guy Fleegman: Listen... I'll go in. I'll create a distraction. I got this [ brandishes an oversize alien gun]. I'm okay. I might be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to escape.
Fred Kwan: That's suicide!
Guy Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I gotta die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Fred Kwan: Guy — Guy, maybe you're the plucky comedy relief. You ever think about that?
Guy Fleegman: Plucky?
Fred Kwan: Besides, [goofy laugh] I just had this really interesting idea... Yeah, let's go.
Guy Fleegman: Are you stoned?
Gwen DeMarco: What is this thing? There's no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway!
Jason Nesmith: Gwen—
Gwen DeMarco: No! I mean, we shouldn't have to do this! It makes no logical sense! Why is it here?
Jason Nesmith: Because it's on the television show.
Gwen DeMarco: Well, forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!
Brandon's Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?
Brandon Wheegan: Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole and just, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach fifteen, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.
Brandon's Mom: Uh, all right. Dinner's at seven. [Brandon leaves.] Well, at least he's outside.

[edit] Taglines

  • Never give up, never surrender!
  • The show has been cancelled... but the adventure is just beginning.
  • A comedy of galactic proportions.

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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