- When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
- Just you and me Kid (1979)
- Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
- If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
- Undated clip played on CNN Larry King Live (4 July 2003)
- Happiness is having a loving, close knit family in another city.
- As quoted in The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners (2004) by Geoff Tibballs, p. 251
- The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.