Ghost Dad is a 1990 comedy film directed by Sidney Poitier and starring Bill Cosby, in which a widower's spirit is able to communicate with his children after his death. It was critically panned, and wound up on many critics' "worst of 1990" and "worst of all time" lists. Despite its critical failure, it was a financial success and mostly due to its low budget.
- Elliott: But I've got to make it to Thursday. It's for my children. My wife died a few years ago and I'm all they have left. Please, Sir "Edith".
- Edith: Sir "Edd-ith". Mozer.
- Elliott: But on... on the book it's spelled "Edith".
- Edith: But it's pronounced "Edd-ith".
- Elliott: That's a girl's name.
- Edith: Look here, it is not a girl's name. Edith is a boy's name.
- Elliott: Who were you named after?
- Edith: I was named after my grandmama!
- Elliott: And they called her "Edd-ith"?
- Edith: No! Her name is "Edith"!
- Elliott: So you see, it IS a girl's name!
- Edith: No, it's NOT!
- Daniel: Where were you?
- Elliott: I was in London with a man named... "Edith"!
[the kids start laughing]
- Amanda: That's a girl's name, Daddy.
- Curtis: Evil Master! Your wallet!
[hands him the wallet]
- Curtis: I am yours to command!
- Elliott: Command? Command? I command you to go to hell and sit on a red hot coal, and wait for me, until it snows!
- Curtis: Oh, yes! Yes, evil master! Yes!
- Amanda: Daddy, Joan said you can go bleep bleep yourself. She said you guys need to talk and she'll fill in the bleeps later.
- Elliott: Okay, honey. Thank you.
[somebody knocks on the front door]
- Elliott: That must be Joan coming over to fill in the bleeps.
- Elliott: Mr. Nero, how are you?
- Mr. Nero: Oh, good. I'm eating solid foods again.
- Elliott: Cancel the 5.
- Carol: Oh, no! You can't cancel the 5.
- Elliott: Then put the 5 at 4, and then cancel at 4.
[only shown on TV version]
- Elliott: [suddenly being pulled up] No!
[grabs onto desk to stop being pulled up]
- Carol: Don't cancel at 4!
- Elliott: No! I mean, you can do what you like.
- Carol: [gives confused look]
- Elliott: [getting pulled up again] Not now!
- Carol: Elliot, are you all right? Please hear me out.
[turns away and rattles on]
- Carol: When you work with someone for a long time, you get to...
- Elliott: [literally going hand over hand to hold onto desk] Mmm-Hmm. Mmm-Hmm.
[only shown on TV version]
- Elliott: [in airplane bathroom] What are you doing here?
- Edith: Flying to London.
- Elliott: Why did you call me?
- Edith: I said I'd be calling you again.
- Elliott: But I'm at work!
- Edith: [yells] I can't believe it! All you want to do is go back!
- Elliott: Yes! Send me back now! Look, if you need to see me so bad, send me an invitation, call me up on the phone, or just come over to my house. But just don't *whoosh* me around anymore!