Green Wing Special
Green Wing (2004–2007) is a British television comedy broadcast on Channel 4. The final special episode was broadcast on 4 January 2007, with the DVD released on the 8 January 2007.
The Special 
- [During the funeral, Guy takes out his mobile phone and stars entering a number. Caroline sees him and is shocked.]
- Caroline: "Guy, what are you doing? Put it away."
- Guy: "Well, I couldn't be at my sister's funeral at the same time as this one, so I thought the least I could do was phone up and see how that one was going."
- Caroline: "Your sister?"
- Guy: "Yeah, my stepsister. You know, I didn't know her that well so it's not that sad. Plus this funeral was nearer. And really sad, obviously."
- Mac: "So, what have I missed?"
- Caroline: "Oh, you know, this and that. Oh, and one quite big thing."
- Mac: "An elephant?"
- Caroline: "I think Guy might want to tell you himself."
- Mac: "Guy? He hasn't managed five in a bed, has he?"
- Caroline: "No."
- Mac: "That was always his life's ambition."
- Caroline: "Things might have changed."
- Mac: "Right."
- Caroline: "I hope so, anyway. That sort of thing can really screw up a honeymoon."
- [Karen had returned from her fall from the window, now wearing a fashionable suit. Harriet, Rachel and Kim are shocked by her new look.]
- Karen: "Lovely morning."
- Rachel: "What happened to you?"
- Karen: "Did you not hear? I fell out of a window."
- Kim: "Well, who'd you land on? Estée Lauder?"
- [A mechanic is inspecting the camper van.]
- Mechanic: "She's a bit of a mess, isn't she?"
- Alan: "Well, no. Fair's fair. She's been on the road, no makeup, so make allowances for the old girl."
- Joanna: "He means the van."
- Mechanic: "I was talking about the van, but now you mention it, I take your point."
- Kim: "Sorry about not noticing the falling out the window thing."
- Karen: "That's all right."
- Rachel: "Mind you, looks like you had a lucky escape. There's not a scratch on you."
- [Karen then removes her right hand. It is a fake. The other admin girls are shocked as Karen shows them the hand, and puts it back on.]
- Karen: "And my nose whistles when I orgasm."
- [They start to rob the shop, but Alan still seems to want to buy things.]
- Shopkeeper: "That'll be £16.20 please."
- Alan: "Right, here's 5, 10, 15, and 1…"
- Joanna: "What? What are you doing? She's supposed to be giving you the money."
- Alan: "Well, she gave me the money and I'm using it to pay…" [To the shopkeeper, realising his error.] "Oh, very clever. Hm? Very clever. Sorry, but you have to get up pretty bloody early in the morning to trick Alan St…Stath…Not his name, there."
- Green Wing quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Green Wing "microsite" at Channel4.com
- British Sitcom Guide
- Green Wing Fansite
- Waxed Owl
- Green Wing LiveJournal Community