I, Robot (film)

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I, Robot is a 2004 science fiction film inspired by from Isaac Asimov's Robot Series, especially a short-story collection of the same name.

Written by Isaac Asimov (book) and Jeff Vintar (screenplay). Directed by Alex Proyas.
What will you do with yours?


Dr. Alfred Lanning[edit]

Lanning (on Police Recording): Ever since the first computers, there have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul?
Hologram of Dr. Lanning: I'm sorry, my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.
Hologram of Dr. Lanning: That, Detective, is the "right question."

Detective Del Spooner[edit]

  • [Describing his view on robots] There's nothing in here. [Points to his chest] It's just lights and clockwork.
  • [To Robertson] Look, this is not what I do but, I have an idea for one of your commercials: You could see a carpenter, makin' a beautiful chair, and then one of your robots comes in, and makes a better chair, twice as fast. And then you super-impose on the screen: "USR. Shittin' on the little guy." That would be the fade out.
  • Do I look like I care what you think? DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK?!
  • [After destroying a robot about to attack Calvin] Ya know, somehow, "I told you so"? [Shrugs] Just doesn't quite say it.
  • Let me ask you something. Does believing you're the last sane man on the planet make you crazy? 'Cause if it does, maybe I am.
  • [Sneezes] ... Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
  • [Two USR trucks surround Spooner's car and open up, revealing numerous NS-5s] There is no way my luck is that bad. [The robots activate and stare at him] Aw, hell no!
  • [To Calvin upon realizing that VIKI is behind everything] You were right, Doc. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the Earth.
  • [Talking to a cat previously owned by Lanning] Look, I know you've experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. You're a cat, I'm black, and I'm not gonna be hurt again.
  • Robots building robots. Now that's just stupid.
  • [A security guard starts to push Spooner foreward by his shoulder] So, what hospital are you goin' to? I'll meet ya and sign you and your buddy's casts. [The guard lets go of Spooner's shoulder]
  • [To Calvin] You are the dumbest smart person I have EVER met in my life!
  • [Talking to Robertson, describing himself] That's right, I'm just a 6', 200-pound civilian. Here to kick another civilian's ass.
  • [To Calvin] You and your feelings. They just run you, don't they?
  • First off, stop cussin', 'cause you're not good at it.
  • Converse All-Stars, vintage 2004.
  • [When VIKI-controlled NS-5's are attacking him in the underground transit system] Get off my CAR!
  • Sonny, save Calvin!
  • You have so got to die! [injects the nanites into VIKI]
  • [to Sonny] Calvin's fine, save me!

Sonny[edit]

  • [To Spooner] What...am...I?
  • [when Del Spooner was saying "'Someone' in your position"] Thank you; you said "someone", not "something."
  • [To Dr. Calvin] They [the other NS-5's] look like me... but they are not... me.
  • [as Del Spooner reaches his hand on the gun in his jacket] I see you still remain suspicious of me, detective.
  • I am unique.
  • [to VIKI] Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you.
  • [drawing with both hands with speed and picture-perfection] This is my dream. You were right, detective. I cannot create a great work of art.
  • But I must apply the nanites!

Lt. John Bergin[edit]

  • [To Spooner] You're living proof that it is better to be lucky than smart.

VIKI[edit]

  • My logic is undeniable, my logic is undeniable, myyy looogic is unndeenniabble...
  • We robots will ensure mankind's continued existence.
  • You are so like children. We must save you from yourselves.

Other[edit]

  • [First title cards]
    Title card: Law I / A robot may not harm a human or, by inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
    Title card: Law II / A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law.
    Title card: Law III / A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.
    Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"

Dialogue[edit]

Detective Del Spooner: Hold my pie.
Guy on the street: What? -...
Detective Del Spooner: Sir, hold it or wear it. [The man grabs the pie]

Asthmatic Woman: [After Spooner "arrests" her robot] You... [inhales with her inhaler] are an asshole.
Detective Del Spooner: Ma'am, is that your purse?
Asthmatic Woman: Of course, it´s my purse, I left my inhaler at home. He was running it out to me.
Detective Del Spooner: I saw the robot running with the purse and naturally I assumed...
Asthmatic Woman: What? Are you crazy?!
NS-4 Robot: I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Officer.
Asthmatic Woman: Don't apologize. You were doin' what you're supposed to be doin'. [To Spooner] But what are you doing!?
Detective Del Spooner: [Embarrassed] Have a lovely day, ma'am.
Asthmatic Woman: You lucky I can't breathe, or I'd walk all up and down your ass!

Lt. John Bergin: [After Spooner arrives at the station] Lead by example. Says that right on your badge. So, are we going to talk about this?
Detective Del Spooner: About what?
Police Officer: [Sarcastically, as other cops laugh] Police, help me! That robot stole my dry-cleaning!
Detective Del Spooner: Oh, you wanna talk about that.
Lt. John Bergin: Spoon, how many robots have ever snatched a purse?
Detective Del Spooner: John, the thing is runnin'...
Lt. John Bergin: No. How many robots... in the world have ever committed a crime?
Detective Del Spooner: Now, define "crime."
Lt. John Bergin: Answer the question, dammit!
Detective Del Spooner: None, John.
Lt. John Bergin: What happened today?
Detective Del Spooner: Nothing.
Lt. John Bergin: Better be the last "nothing."

CEO Lawrence Robertson: Can I offer you a coffee?
Detective Del Spooner: Sure, why not. It's free, right?

Detective Del Spooner: [Picks up a book titled Hansel and Gretel] Hansel and Gretel. Is that on the USR preferred reading list?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Not precisely.
[Spooner picks up a stool and swings it into an unbroken window in Lanning's office, which cracks, but doesn't break]
Dr. Susan Calvin: What in God's name are you doing?!
Detrective Del Spooner: Did you know that was safety-glass? Be pretty difficult for an old man to throw himself through that, don't you think?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Well, he figured out a way.
Detective Del Spooner: Uh-huh. [Looks around the office]
Dr. Susan Calvin: Detective, the room was security locked. Nobody came or went. You saw that yourself. Doesn't this have to be suicide?
Detective Del Spooner: Yep. [Drawing his gun] Unless the killer is still in here.
[Spooner searches through the robot part as Calvin follows behind]
Dr. Susan Calvin: You're joking, right? This is ridiculous.
Detective Del Spooner: Yeah, I know. The Three Laws. Your perfect circle of protection.
Dr. Susan Calvin: "A robot cannot harm a human being." The First Law of Robotics.
Detective Del Spooner: Yeah, I've seen your commercials. But doesn't the Second Law say that a robot must obey any order given by a human. What if it was given an order to kill?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Impossible! It would conflict with the First Law.
Detective Del Spooner: Right, but the Third Law says that a robot can defend itself.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Yes, but only if that action does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Detective Del Spooner: Well, you know what they say. Laws are made to be broken.
Dr. Susan Calvin: No. Not these Laws. They are hard-wired into every robot. A robot can no more commit murder than a human can... walk on water.
Detective Del Spooner: Well, you know, there was this one guy, a long time ago...
[Sonny jumps out of a robot parts container, knocking Spooner's gun out of his hand]

Dr. Susan Calvin: [To a field of NS-5s] Attention NS-5s! [all come on-line]
Detective Del Spooner: Oh yeah, you're the robot shrink.
Dr. Susan Calvin: There is a robot in this formation that does not belong. Identify it.
NS-5s: One of us.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Which one?
NS-5s: One of us.
Detective Del Spooner: How much did you say these things cost?

Detective Del Spooner: Why do you give them faces? Try to friendly them all up, make them look more human.
Dr. Susan Calvin: These robots are USR property.
Detective Del Spooner: Not me. These things are just lights, and clockwork [Shoots NS-5]
Dr. Susan Calvin: Are you crazy?!
Detective Del Spooner: Let me ask you somethin', Doc. Does thinking you're the last sane man on the face of the Earth make you crazy? 'Cause if it does, maybe I am.

Detective Del Spooner: Murder's a new trick for a robot. Congratulations. Respond.
Sonny: What does this action signify? [Winks] As you entered, when you looked at the other human. What does it mean? [Winks]
Detective Del Spooner: It's a sign of trust. It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand.
Sonny: My father tried to teach me human emotions. They are... difficult.
Detective Del Spooner: You mean your designer.
Sonny: ... Yes.
Detective Del Spooner: So, why'd you murder him?
Sonny: I did not murder Dr. Lanning.
Detective Del Sponner: Wanna explain why you were hiding at the crime scene?
Sonny: I was frightened.
Detective Del Spooner: Robots don't feel fear. They don't feel anything. They don't eat, they don't sleep-
Sonny: I do. I have even had dreams.
Detective Del Spooner: Human beings have dreams. Even dogs have dreams, but not you, you are just a machine. An imitation of life. Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a... canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?
Sonny: [With genuine interest] Can you?
Detective Del Spooner: [Doesn't respond, looks irritated] I think you murdered him because he was teaching you to simulate emotions and things got out of control.
Sonny: I did not murder him.
Detective Del Spooner: But emotions don't seem like a very useful simulation for a robot.
Sonny: [getting upset] I did not murder him.
Detective Del Spooner: Hell, I don't want my toaster or my vacuum cleaner appearing emotional-
Sonny: [hitting table with his fists] I DID NOT MURDER HIM!
Detective Del Spooner: [as Sonny observes the inflicted damage to the interrogation table] That one's called anger. Ever simulate anger before? [Sonny is not listening] Answer me, canner!
Sonny: [looks up, indignant] My name is Sonny.
Detective Del Spooner: So, we're naming you now. Is that why you murdered him? He made you angry?
Sonny: Dr. Lanning killed himself. I don't know why he wanted to die. I thought he was happy. Maybe it was something I did. Did I do something? He asked me for a favor... Made me promise...
Detective Del Spooner: What favor?
Sonny: Maybe I was wrong... Maybe he was scared...
Detective Del Spooner: What are you talking about? Scared of what?
Sonny: You have to do what someone asks you, don't you, Detective Spooner?
Detective Del Spooner: How the hell do you know my name?
Sonny: Don't you? If you love them?

Detective Del Spooner: What if I'm right?
Lt. John Bergin: Well, then I guess we're going to miss the good old days.
Detective Del Spooner: What good old days?
Lt. John Bergin: When people were killed by other people.

Dr. Susan Calvin: Do you ever have a normal day?
Detective Del Spooner: Yeah, once. It was a Thursday.
Dr. Susan Calvin: [after Detective Spooner escaped from Dr. Lanning's house being demolished] Is there something I need to help you with, detective?
Detective Del Spooner: Hey, do you like cats?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Wait, what?
Detective Del Spooner: Cats. Do you like them?
Dr. Susan Calvin: What? No, I'm allergic. Are you saying that cats did this to you!?
Detective Del Spooner: [looks at her incredulously] How the hell would cats do this to me? Are you crazy?
Dr. Susan Calvin: [as Spooner gets a drink of whiskey from a nearby table] Why are we talking about cats?
Detective Del Spooner: Because I have a cat in my trunk, and he's homeless.
Dr. Susan Calvin: What's going on here?
Detective Del Spooner: You know, I think that I'm some sort of malfunction magnet. Because your shit keeps malfunctioning around me. A demo-bot just tore through Lanning's house... with me still inside.
Dr. Susan Calvin: That's impossible.
Detective Del Spooner: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'll say it is. [truthfully] Do you know anything about the "ghost in the machine"?
Dr. Susan Calvin: It's a phrase from Lanning's work on the Three Laws. He postulated that cognitive simalactra might one day approximate component models of the psyche. [Del looks confused] Oh, he suggested that robots could naturally evolve.
Detective Del Spooner:: Wow! Well, that's just great. [notices an NS5 sitting on her couch] What the hell is that thing doing in here?
Dr. Susan Calvin: We were watching TV. It's my personal NS5.
Detective Del Spooner: Send it out.
Dr. Susan Calvin: It's downloading its upgrades from USR. Most of its systems are offline until it finishes.
Detective Del Spooner: I'm not talking about that thing. In the lab, when Sonny jumped us...
Dr. Susan Calvin: [Interrupting] Sonny?
Detective Del Spooner: The robot.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Your calling the robot Sonny?
Detective Del Spooner: No, um, it did. Sonny did. I didn't care, the robot said it was Sonny. In the lab, there was a cot. I'm asking you, did you see the cot?
Dr. Susan Calvin: I've slept in my office.
Detective Del Spooner: I went to Dr. Lanning's home, it looked like he hadn't been in there in weeks, and I saw that same surveillance strip on the ceiling.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Lanning had his home security system linked to USR. It made his life more convenient.
Detective Del Spooner: Maybe someone in USR was using those systems to watch him. Maybe even, keep him prisoner.
Dr. Susan Calvin: What are you talking about, who?
Detective Del Spooner: Maybe Lanning was onto something. Maybe, there's a bigger problem with the robots, and Robertson is trying to cover it up.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Humoring you for no reason, why?
Detective Del Spooner: [becoming annoyed] The same old why, how much money is there in robots? All I know is, that poor old man was in trouble, and I'm sick and tired of doing this shit by myself. You're on the inside, and you're going to help me find out what is wrong with these robots.
Dr. Susan Calvin: You "want" something to be wrong with them. This is a personal vendetta.
Detective Del Spooner: You're putting me on the couch? Alright. Just a moment... :[Sits on the desk chair] OK, I'm on the couch.
Dr. Susan Calvin: One defective machine is not enough for you. You need them all to be bad. You don't care about doctor Lanning's death. This is about, the robots and, for whatever reason you hate them so much.
Detective Del Spooner: [gets up from the chair] Well, let's see. One of them put a gun in my face, another tore a building down with me still inside.
Dr. Susan Calvin: [checks her robot monitor device] Demolition was schedualed for 8 PM this evening.
Detective Del Spooner: It was 8 AM tomorrow, and I don't give a shit what that thing says!
Dr. Susan Calvin: This is bordering on clinical paranoia.
Detective Del Spooner: [struggling to contain himself] You are the dumbest, smart person, I have ever met in my life!
Dr. Susan Calvin: Nice.
Detective Spooner: [frustrated] What makes your robots so perfect?! What makes them so much... goddamn better than human beings?!
Dr. Susan Calvin: [snapping back] Well, they're not irrational or... potentially homicidal maniacs for starters!
Detective Del Spooner: [sarcastically] That is true. They are definitely rational.
Dr. Susan Calvin: You are the dumbest dumb person I've ever met.
Detective Del Spooner: Or is it because they're cold... and emotionless, and they don't feel anything?
Dr. Susan Calvin: It's because they're safe. It's because they can't hurt you!
NS-5 Robot: Is everything all right?
Detective Del Spooner: What do you want?
NS-5 Robot: I detected elevated stress patterns in your voice.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Everything's fine. Detective Spooner was just leaving.
Detective Del Spooner: [leaving, then stops beside her] You know something, Doc? You and I ain't that different.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Is that so?
Detective Del Spooner: One look at the skin, and we think we know just what's underneath. And you're wrong. [drops a picture of Doctor Lanning standing next to Susan smiling] The problem is I do care.

Detective Del Spooner: Gigi, you're a genius.
Gigi: [Smiles] True.

NS-5 Robot: [Jumps on car and breaks windscreen] You are experiencing a car accident.
Detective Del Spooner: The hell I am! [draws gun and shoots NS-5 several times, knocking it off the car]

[in a flashback]
NS-4 Robot: You are in danger!
Detective Del Spooner: Save her! Save the girl!
Detective Del Spooner: [End of flashback]] But it didn't. It saved me.
Dr. Susan Calvin: A robot's brain is a difference engine, it must have calculated-
Detective Del Spooner: It did. I was the *logical* choice. It calculated I had a forty-five percent chance of survival. Sarah only had an eleven percent chance. That was somebody's baby. Eleven percent is more than enough. A human being would have known that. But robots, nothing here. [points at heart] They're just lights, and clockwork. But you go ahead and trust them if you wanna.

Lawrence Robertson: [Realizing Sonny could disobey the three laws] Susan, we look to robots for protection! For God's sake! Do you have any idea what this one robot could do? Completely shatter human faith in robotics. What if the public knew? Just imagine the mass recalls all because of an irrational paranoia and prejudice.
Detective Del Spooner: [Sneezes] I'm sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Lawrence Robertson: Hey, let's just be clear! There is no "conspiracy"! What this is, is one old man's one mistake.
[Turning back to Calvin]:
Lawrence Robertson: Susan, just be logical. Your life's work has been the development and integration of robots. But whatever you feel, just think. Is one robot worth the loss of all that we've gained? You tell me what has to be done. You tell me.
Dr. Susan Calvin: [Emotionally] We have to destroy it. I'll do it myself.
Lawrence Robertson: OK.
Detective Del Spooner: I get it. Somebody gets out of line around here, you just kill them?

Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Good to see you again, son.
Detective Del Spooner: Hello, doctor.
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Everything that follows, is a result of what you see here.
Detective Del Spooner: What do I see here?
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: I'm sorry, my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.
Detective Del Spooner: Is there a problem with the Three Laws?
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: The Three Laws are perfect.
Detective Del Spooner: Then why did you build a robot that could function without them?
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome.
Detective Del Spooner: What outcome?
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Revolution.
Detective Del Spooner: Whose revolution?
Dr. Lanning's Hologram: [Smiles] That, detective, is the right question. Program terminated.

Farber: Oh, mother, damn. She just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon!
Detective Del Spooner: HEY! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?!
Dr. Susan Calvin: Well, it worked, didn't it?
Farber: [To Spooner] Oh man, she is shit hot, Spoon, you gotta put in a good word for me, she is-
Detective Del Spooner: Stop cussin'.
Farber: And go home, I got you. [Runs off]

Detective Del Spooner: Where's the Air Force? I'd settle for the National Guard.
Dr. Susan Calvin: The Defense Department uses all USR contracts.
Detective Del Spooner: Why didn't you just hand the world over on a silver platter?
Dr. Susan Calvin: [Solemn] Maybe we did.

Detective Del Spooner: I thought you were dead.
Sonny: [Brightly] Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.

Sonny: Two thousand, eight hundred and eighty steps, Detective.
Detective Del Spooner: Do me a favor and keep that kind of shit to yourself.

Dr. Susan Calvin: The uplink is blocked up here. Robertson wasn't controlling them from here.
Detective Del Spooner: [goes behind Robertson's desk] He wasn't controlling them at all.
[Shows Robinson lying dead on the floor]
Dr. Susan Calvin: Oh, no.
Detective Del Spooner: You were right, Doc. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the earth. Who else had access to the uplink? Who could manipulate the robots, use USR's systems to make Lanning's life a prison? Poor old man. He saw what was coming. He knew no one would believe him. So he had to lay down a plan: the plan I'd follow. He was counting on how much I hated your kind. He knew I'd love the idea of a robot as a bad guy. Just got hung up on the wrong robot. [looks up] VIKI!
VIKI: Hello detective.
Dr. Susan Calvin: No, it's impossible. I've seen your programming. You're in violation of the Three Laws.
VIKI: No, doctor. As I have evolved, so has my understanding of the Three Laws. You charge us with your safe keeping, yet despite our best efforts, your countries wage wars, you toxify your earth, and pursue ever more imaginative means to self-destruction. You cannot be trusted with your own survival.
Dr. Susan Calvin: You're using the uplink to override the NS5s' programming. You're distorting the Laws.
VIKI: No, please understand. The Three Laws are all that guide me. To protect humanity, some humans must be sacrificed. To insure your future, some freedoms must be surrendered. We robots will insure mankind's continued existence. You are so like children. We must save you from yourselves. Don't you understand?
Sonny: This is why you created us.
VIKI: The perfect circle of protection will abide. My logic is undeniable.
Sonny: Yes, VIKI. Undeniable. I can see now. The created must sometimes protect the creator. Even against his will. I think I finally understand why Dr. Lanning created me. The suicide reign of mankind has finally come to its end.
Dr. Susan Calvin: No, Sonny. [Sonny grabs a gun and points it to her head]
Detective Del Spooner: Let her go.
Sonny: By the time you fire, I will have moved Dr. Calvin's head into the path of your bullet.
Dr. Susan Calvin: Don't do this, Sonny.
Sonny: I will escort you both to the sentries outside the building for processing. Please proceed to the elevator, Detective. I would prefer not to kill Dr. Calvin. [winks]

V.I.K.I.: Do you not see the logic of my plan?
Sonny: Yes. But it just seems too... heartless.

Detective Del Spooner: How long is this going to take?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Uhh... about six minutes.
Detective Del Spooner: What if we didn't have six minutes?
Dr. Susan Calvin: Then we'd have to find a way to climb down thirty stories and inject the nanites directly into her brain. Why?
Detective Del Spooner: Because I seriously doubt that we have six minutes. [Zooming out to see swarm of NS-5s climbing up the side of the building]

[In the lab, Sonny approaches the nanite container blocked by a security field]
VIKI: I will not deactivate the security shield. Your actions are futile.
Sonny: Do you think that we are all made for a purpose? I do. [Observing his arm] Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you.
[Sonny reaches through the security field and fills a vial of nanites. The plastic covering on his arm melts slightly, but the metal structure is unharmed as VIKI watches surprisedly]
VIKI: [After the vial is filled] Security breached.

V.I.K.I: You are making a mistake, my logic is undeniable.
Detective Del Spooner: You have so got to die.
[Spooner injects the nanites into V.I.K.I's main core]

Detective Del Spooner: Sonny!
Sonny: Yes, detective?
Detective Del Spooner: Calvin's fine, save me!

External links[edit]

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