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Glad To Wear Glasses (1990)
- My grandmother used to say before you moan about the muck on someone else's glasses make sure you're not on about the muck on your own her glasses were filthy
- "Grandma's glasses" (cf: Matthew 7:3)
- In the beginning was the dog the real name of Jehovah is Rover. Adam's rib is buried in the garden
- "God is dog"
- From Bradford Yorkshire to Bristol Temple Meads you don't have to change your underwear but you have to change at Leeds
- "Bradford to Bristol"
- This winter I hope you get a splinter if you make a toboggan and it is a mahog'un
- "Poem about not using tropical hardwoods because it diminishes the rain forests"