John Reed (novelist)

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John Reed (born February 7, 1969) is an American author and novelist. His novel Snowball's Chance, a parody of George Orwell's Animal Farm, received international press attention.

Quotes[edit]

  • You get energy from [being hated]. The idea that one side of the political spectrum is more right than the other is ridiculous. Pretty much every issue in this country could be settled with a reasonable compromise. Then we could move on to the next thing. We could move on to the real question which is world domination. … We do have to take over or at least adopt a few more states or something.
  • Interview with Suicidegirls.com
  • Orwell's defenders always look to contextualize Orwell's shortcomings in a historic moment. Whatever his infraction, he was a victim of circumstance—times were different then, and, for example, Hitler was looking really good for a minute there. Orwell never meant that his books should be employed to stultify schoolchildren. And yet that's what "Animal Farm" is—an educational missile aimed at any healthy impulse towards reform. The argument that "Animal Farm" is a generalized indictment of totalitarianism is simply unsupportable by the text or any existing presentation of the text. Rather, the intelligence of the pigs as opposed to the stupidity of the other animals, and the ultimate hopelessness of revolution, renders "Animal Farm" a de facto endorsement of the status quo.
  • Saint George and the Damn Truth

Snowball's Chance (2002)[edit]

  • The old pigs were dying.
  • Hard life goes on.
    • Benjamin
  • Manor Farm forever, I pledge my meat and leather.
  • Single commandment: "Most animals are equalish."
  • And without pause, the great pig Snowball called the extremist attack, "The Massacre of the Twin Mills." And for it he vowed - "Revenge, justice, retaliation! The blood of beavers will flow in the river of the Woodlands!"
  • And the rest of the park animals, who were usually silenced by such outbursts from the sheep, this time responded, belting out a battle cry of their own - one that quickly overpowered the baa-ing of the sheep altogether. "Kill the beavers!" "Kill the beavers!" "Kill!" "Kill!" "Kill!"

The Whole (2005)[edit]

  • You're as hot As a Malibu snot!
    Sweet for the pickin' And salty, for lickin'.
  • We get sweaty riding rides.
    We cuddle in our tighty whites.
    It's natural that boys get stinky.
    We scratch our pits and sniff our pinkies.
    [later verse]
    We giggle when we drink our juice.
    We like it sweet and 90 proof.
    Bear cubs wrestle, bear cubs grunt.
    You think it's wrong, you're ignorant.
  • Thing: "Capital punishment - cruel and fruitable, or, the ultimate in criminal detergent?"
  • Love is splendourous, orgies are sick. But an orgy ain't too bad once in a bit.
  • Thing (on Roy, or Ceasar): "He just has that certain je ne suis pas, that certain indefinable something of animal maggotism."
  • Thing: "On the wings of love, we'll soar to the depths."
  • Thing: "Capital punishment - cruel and fruitable, or, the ultimate in criminal detergent?"
  • Love is splendourous, orgies are sick. But an orgy ain't too bad once in a bit.
  • Thing (on Roy, or Ceasar): "He just has that certain je ne suis pas, that certain indefinable something of animal maggotism."
  • Thing: "On the wings of love, we'll soar to the depths."

Quotes about John Reed[edit]

  • As the World Trade Center massacre was happening, all New Yorkers probably formed ideas about who was responsible. But I suspect John Reed was the only one who blamed George Orwell.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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