Love Stinks (film)
Love Stinks is a 1999 comedy film. It was written and directed by Jeff Franklin.
Sometimes the best sex in the world...just isn't worth it.taglines
Dialogue
[edit]- Chelsea: All I ever wanted to do was spend my life loving you, you disgusting sack of shit.
- Seth: If that's all you wanted, then why did you hire the sleaziest lawyer in town, you pathologically deluded, morally bankrupt, in-denial, self-esteem-deficient bitch on wheels?
- Chelsea: I am NOT in denial.
- Larry Garnett: It's like a hooker taking a trick to court to get him to pay.
- Holly: Don't call my best friend a hooker.
- Larry Garnett: That's right, a hooker tells you the price up front.
- Seth: You've put me off women. I'm gay now. And not just a little gay-full on, Liberace gay.
- Chelsea: I really like this guy. I think that Seth could be the one.
- Holly: Are you serious? Does he feel the same way?
- Chelsea: Please, he's a man. He has no idea how he's feeling.
- Holly: We're going to go over strategy. Now, remember, Chelsea, it took me three breakups, seven ultimatums, and God knows how many not-so-thinly veiled threats before Larry coughed up this ring.
- Chelsea: Oooh. Okay, whatever it takes, I'm gonna marry that man.
- Seth: Nice job, you fucked up date night.
- Seth: Drop the probe and step away from my ass.
- Seth: I'll sure your ass for damages for damaging my ass.
- Seth: Back to Hell, demon. Back to hell.
- Seth: But we agreed to $100,000. We shook on it. We had sex on it.
- Chelsea: Hate sex.
- [on phone answering machine]
- Seth: If you have a message for me, leave it after the beep and if you have a message for Chelsea then you REALLY HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHY.
- Seth: [in the shower] Oh my God! My hair is falling out!
- Chelsea: You know stress will do that to ya!
- Seth: Holy shit! It's really falling out!
- Chelsea: That's so weird!
- [Seth's hair begins to fall out rapidly]
- Seth: Oh my God! Oh, Jesus! Oh my God! Oh, jeez! [steps out of shower and looks into mirror] AHHHHHHHHHHH! What did you do to me?
- Chelsea: I didn't do anything! You must have used my hair remover instead of your conditioner.
- Seth: Noo! YOU PUT SOME IN THERE TO FUCK WITH ME!
- Chelsea: I didn't do it! I swear!
- Seth: Ooooohhhhh man, you are the fuckin' devil! THE DEVIL!
- Chelsea: Can I make it up to you?
- Seth: What did you have in mind?
- Chelsea: Back rub, blow-job, breakfast in bed.
- Seth: The three B's! It has a chance at working.
- Chelsea: [sleeping in bed with Seth, he farts and the pets disperse] Ugh, you are such a pig!
- Seth: Oh... man, I am so sorry! You know I had beans and broccoli for dinner and I washed them down with some crab cakes... [farts loudly] OH!...
- Chelsea: [simultaneously] EWWW! Ew! Ew!
- Seth: Goodness! I am so sorry. Would you like to spoon me? Because, I feel like I'm past the worst of it, and I need some cuddle-time - Oh, wait, no, I was wrong. Incoming! [farts] OH!...
- Chelsea: [simultaneously] Ugh, you're sick! Ew!
- Seth: My goodness! Keeping the neighbors up, huh? Feet are on fire. Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! [farts rapidly, four times] Oh, man! I've got skills! I've got game! Ah... mmmm - oh! [farts loudly] Ole!
Taglines
[edit]- Sometimes the best sex in the world...just isn't worth it.
- An "Un-romantic" romantic comedy.
- If you can't be with the one you love...make their life a living hell.
- A movie about a relationship...that's worse than yours.
(An Un-Romantic Comedy
Cast
[edit]- French Stewart - Seth Winnick
- Bridgette Wilson - Chelsea Turner
- Bill Bellamy - Larry Garnett
- Tyra Banks - Holly Garnett
- Steve Hytner - Marty Mark
- Jason Bateman - Jesse Travis
- Tiffani Amber-Thiessen - Rebecca Melini
External links
[edit]
- Love Stinks quotes at the Internet Movie Database