Mary Poppins (film)
- Directed by Robert Stevenson. Written by Bill Walsh and Don DaGradi, based on the novel by P. L. Travers.
- [reading her own tape measure] As I expected. "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
- In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and snap! [snaps her fingers] The job's a game.
- Close your mouth please, Michael, we are not a codfish.
- [sternly] Sacked?! Certainly not, I am never sacked.
Mr. George Banks
- [singing] It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910
King Edward's on the throne; it's the age of men.
- [singing] It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead.
- [singing] A man has dreams of walking with giants
To carve his niche in the edifice of time
Before the mortar of his zeal
Has a chance to congeal
The cup is dashed from his lips
The flame is snuffed a-borning
He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.
- [singing] A British bank is run with precision
A British home requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules
Must be the tools
Without them: disorder, catastrophe, anarchy
In short, you have a ghastly mess!
- Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.
- [Shakes Winifred's hands] You know, Winifred, I think she will. [Laughs] I think she will!
- Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you!
- [singing] Our daughters' daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, sister suffragettes."
- [singing] Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.
- (Looking at viewers, breaking the fourth wall) Oh, It's you. Hello. (Pauses, as if the viewer asks him for the house adress) Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? Alright. (Puts his hat back on) Come on with me.
- [singing] Winds from the east... Mist comin' in... Like something's a brewin', about to begin... Can't put me finger on what lies in store... But I feel what's to 'appen, all 'appened before...!
- [about his chalk drawings] Not Royal Academy, I suppose. Still better than a finger in the eye, ain't they?
- Here we are, 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Home of George Banks, Esq. [hears yelling inside] Hello, hello, hello. Admiral's right, heavy weather brewing at number 17 and no mistake.
- What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it? But the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.
- [last lines] Goodbye, Mary Poppins, don't stay away too long.
- [Surprised] What? No road?!
- [Laughs while taking a tissue from his pocket] It's just good clean soot, Michael.
- Admiral Boom: [observing the long queue of want-to-be nannies] Ghastly looking crew, I must say!
- Mr. Dawes, Sr.: While stand the banks of England, England stands — whoa, whoa...! [Mr. Dawes stumbles over his own cane] When fall the banks of England... ENGLAND FALLS! [Mr. Dawes falls backward and the rest of the Board of Directors have to catch him]
- Uncle Albert: The other day, when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper said to him, "How long you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
- Old Crone: Come with me, my dears. Granny'll hide you!
- Admiral Boom: Time Gun ready?
- Mr. Binnacle: Ready and charged, Sir.
- Admiral Boom: Three minutes and six seconds.
- Mr. Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.
- Bert: [to the audience] What he's famous for is punctuality [touches his nose as he says this]. The whole world takes it's time from Greenwich. But Greenwich they say, takes it's time from Admiral Boom. [calling up to the admiral] What cheer, Admiral?
- Admiral Boom: Good afternoon to you, young man. Where are you bound?
- Bert: Number 17. Got some parties who want to see it.
- Admiral Boom: Enter that in the log.
- Mr. Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.
- Admiral Boom: A word of advice, young man. Storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing there.
- Bert: Thank you sir! Keep an eye skinned.
- [Mrs. and Mr. Banks are talking about the failure of their previous nanny]
- Mrs. Banks: I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nana, I thought she would be firm with the children. She seemed so solemn and cross.
- George Banks: My dear, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
- Jane: [reading the ad she and Michael wrote] Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children.
- George Banks: Adorable — well that's highly debatable, I must say.
- [Jane continues reading while singing alone.]
- Jane: If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition...
- George Banks: Jane, I don't... [Mrs. Banks silences him.]
- Jane: Rosy cheeks, no warts...
- Michael: That's the part I put in!
- Jane: Play games all sorts. You must be kind, you must be witty; very sweet and fairly pretty...
- George Banks: Well, of all the ridic... [Mrs. Banks silences him again.]
- Jane: Take us on outings, give us treats. Sing songs, bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel, never feed us castor oil, or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water...
- Michael: I put that in too!
- Jane: If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us. We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea. Hurry, Nanny! Many thanks! Sincerely...
- Michael and Jane: Jane and Michael Banks.
- [Watching Mary Poppins's first arrival as she's floating down from the sky.]
- Michael: Perhaps it's a witch!
- Jane: Of course not! Witches have brooms.
- [As George puts his head down in the fireplace, to look for his children's ad, which he ripped up, and is now mended in Mary Poppins' hand.]
- Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon, are you ill?
- George Banks: I hope not.
- Jane & Michael: Please, Mary Poppins, please?
- Mary Poppins: I have no intention of making a spectacle of myself, thank you.
- Bert: I'll do it myself.
- Mary Poppins: Do what?
- Bert: A bit of magic.
- Michael: A bit of magic?
- Bert: It's easy. You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes... And jump.
- [Nothing happens]
- Jane: Is something supposed to happen?
- Mary Poppins: Bert, what utter nonsense. [sighs] Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple? Give me your hand please, Michael. Don't slouch. One, two...
- [They jump into the sidewalk drawing. Afterwards, they find that their clothes have magically transformed.]
- Bert: Mary Poppins, you look beeeeautiful.
- Mary Poppins: Do you really think so?
- Bert: I cross my heart you do, like the day I met ya.
- Mary Poppins: You look fine too, Bert.
- Bert: [singing] It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winning
And Prudence and Gwendolyn set your heart spinning
Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming.
- Penguins: Janice, Felicia, and Lydia.
- Bert: [singing] Charming!
Priscilla a treat.
- Penguins: Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane.
- Bert: [singing] Convivial company, time and again
Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts
I'll agree are three jolly good sports
But cream of the crop, tip of the top....
- Bert and the Penguins: It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop!
- Horseman: View hallo!
- Horse: Oh, yes, definitely. A view hallo.
- Fox: View hallo? [The horseman blows a trumpet, causing his dogs to go charge at the Fox.] Faith and begora, it's them redcoats again!
- Gentleman: There probably aren't words to describe your emotions.
- Mary Poppins: On the contrary, there's a very good word. Am I right, Bert?
- Bert: Tell 'em what is it.
- Mary Poppins: Right. Iiiiit's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
- Mary Poppins: You know, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
- Bert: Indubitably.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] So if the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay...
- Bert: Here, here.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say
But better use it carefully or it could change your life...
- Busker: For example...
- Mary Poppins: Yes?
- Busker: One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife. [Wife hits him with tambourine] Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.
- Mrs. Banks: As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary things seem to have come over the household.
- Mr. Banks: Is that so?
- Mrs. Banks: Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.
- Mr. Banks: [uninterested] Really. Well, that is extraordinary.
- George Banks: Ellen, stop making that offensive noise. And shut the window. That bird is giving me a headache.
- Ellen: Yes, Sir. [to the bird] Quiet! You're giving the master an 'eadache.
- [The bird chirps one last time and Ellen shuts the window.]
- Jane: Good morning, father.
- George Banks: Morning.
- Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word.
- Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
- George Banks: What on Earth are you talking about? Superca — Super — or whatever the infernal thing is.
- Jane: It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
- George Banks: Yes, well, I always know what to say.
- George Banks: Have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
- Mrs. Banks: But George, you don't play.
- George Banks: Madame, that is entirely beside the point!
- Bert: Speaking of sight, it reminds me of me brother. He's got a nice cushy job in a watch factory.
- Uncle Albert: In a watch factory? What does he do?
- Bert: [laughs] He stands about all day and makes faces!
- Uncle Albert: [laughs] He makes faces in a watch factory!
- Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
- Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
- Everyone: [laughs]
- Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I save for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
- Uncle Albert: I'd be so grateful.
- Bert: Righto. Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he had a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. To bits. The next morning, I says, "How do you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth." [laughs] I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
- Uncle Albert: And that was nothing like a good joke.
- George Banks: [As they arrive at the bank where George works] We must be on our best behavior.
- Michael: But I thought it was your bank.
- George Banks: Well, I'm one of the younger officers, so in a sense it is. Sort of.
- Michael: I want it (my money) to feed the birds.
- Mr. Dawes Sr: Fiddlesticks, boy. Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds. But... [Starts singing] If you invest your tuppence wisely in the bank safe and sound, Soon, The tuppence, Safely invested in the bank, Will compound. And you'll achieve that sense of conquest as you affluence expands in the hands of the directors who invest... [coughs] ...As propriety... [coughs again] ...Demands. [Coughs once more]
- George Banks: May I, Sir?
- Mr. Dawes Sr: Carry on, Banks.
- [After Jane and Michael realized that it was only Bert as a chimney sweep for the day]
- Jane: Bert. It's you.
- Bert: In the flesh and at your service.
- Michael: You're filthy.
- Bert: Oh. Perhaps a smudge or two? It so happens that today, I'm a chimney sweep.
- Jane: Oh, Bert, we're so frightened!
- Bert: Now, now, don't take on so. Bert will look after you. Like I was your own father. Now who's after you?
- Jane: Father is.
- Bert: What?
- [Jane and Michael have just told Bert that the run on the bank is their fault.]
- Bert: Let's sit down. You know, begging you pardon, but the one who my heart goes out for is your father. There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
- Jane: [Sadly] Father? In a cage?
- Bert: They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of 'em, carpets and all.
- Jane: But Father isn't in trouble, we are.
- Bert: Oh, sure about that, are you? Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you. And Mary Poppins and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell about it? No one! Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining and alone and silent.
- Michael: He's not very silent.
- Jane: [Sadly] Michael, be quiet. And Bert, do you think father really needs our help?
- Bert: Well, Jane, it's not my place to say. [the three of them stand up] I only observe that a father can always do it with a bit of help. Come on, I'll take you home.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Chim Chiminy, Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Cher-ee
When you're with a 'sweep, you're in glad company.
- Bert: [singing] Never was there a more happier crew.
- Both: Than them what sings Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo! Chim Chim Chiminy Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo.
- Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?
- Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?
- Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
- Mary Poppins: First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear.
- Mr. Banks: Yes?
- Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
- Bert: [singing] You're a man of high position, esteemed by your peers. And when your little tykes are crying, you haven't time to dry their tears... And see their thankful little faces smiling up at you... 'Cause their dad, he always knows just what to do...
- George Banks: [caught off guard by this new knowledge] ...Well, look — I...
- Bert: Say no more, Gov'ner. [singing] You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone... Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve... And all too soon they've up and grown, and then they've flown... And it's too late for you to give — just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down — the medicine go dow-own — medicine go down. [speaking again] Well, so long, Gov'ner. Sorry to have troubled you.
- [Bert exits, whistling "A Spoon Full of Sugar"]
- Mr. Dawes Jr: In 1773, an official on this bank unwisely loaned a large sum of money to finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?
- George Banks: Yes, sir, I think I do. As the ship lay in Boston Harbor, a party of the colonists dressed as red Indians boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and threw all the tea overboard, making the tea unsuitable for drinking. [jokingly] Even for Americans.
- Mr. Dawes Jr: Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank... UNTIL TODAY. A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son, do you deny it?
- [George Banks has just been discharged]
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Well, Banks — have you anything to say for yourself?
- George Banks: Well, sir, they say that when you have nothing to say, all you can say is...
- (He feels something in his pocket, takes it out, and looks at it: Michael's tuppence.)
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Confound it, Banks! I said do you have anything to say!
- George Banks: (Starts laughing) Only one thing, sir.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Yes?
- George Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! (Laughs)
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: What?
- George Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Mary Poppins was right! It's extraordinary! It does make you feel better! (Laughs)
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: What are you talking about, man? There's no such word.
- George Banks: Oh, yes. It is a word. A perfectly good word. Actually, do you know what there's no such thing as? It turns out with due respect when all is said and done that there's no such thing as YOU!
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Impertinence, Sir!
- George Banks: Speaking of "Impertinence," would you like to hear a perfectly marvelous joke? A real snapper.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: "Joke?" "Snapper?"
- George Banks: Yes. There were these two wonderful young people, Jane & Michael. And they meet one day on the street, and Jane says to Michael, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." And Michael said, "Really? What's the name of his other leg?" (Laughs a lot harder)
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: The man's gone mad! Call the guard!
- George Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! I'm feeling better all the time!
- [Mr. Banks moves toward Dawes Sr. as if to punch him; Dawes Jr. stands up in his father's defense]
- Mr. Dawes Jr.: Banks, don't you dare strike my father!
- George Banks: There's the tuppence. The wonderful, faithful, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious tuppence. Guard it well! Buh-Bye!
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Banks, where are you going?
- George Banks: I don't know. I might pop through a chalk-pavement picture, and go for an outing in the country. Or I might seize a horse off a merry-go-round and win the derby. Or I might just fly a kite. Only Poppins would know.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: "Poppins?"
- George Banks: My nanny. She's the one who sings that ridiculous song. (Sings while leaving the bank) A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down...(Fades while door closes)
- Mr. Dawes Jr.: Mad as a march-hare.
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: [Caught up on the "Wooden leg named 'Smith'" joke] A wooden leg named "Smith." A wooden leg named "Smith." A wooden le- (Starts to wheeze-laugh before he flies up)
- Mr. Dawes Jr.: Father. Father! [While the Bankers try to take the chairman of the bank down] Father, come down! Daddy! Daddy, come back! [Cries]
- [Bankers see the Banks family]
- Mr. Dawes Jr.: Ah. There you are, Banks. I want to congratulate you. Capitol bit of humor. "Wooden leg named 'Smith!'" [Laughs and pauses] Or Jones. Whatever it was. Father died laughing.
- George Banks: Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir.
- Mr. Dawes Jr.: Oh, no. Nonsense. Nothing to be sorry about. Never seen him happier in his life. [He give the flower badge to George Banks] He left an opening for a new partner. Congratulations.
- George Banks: Thank you, Sir. Thank you very much indeed, Sir!
- [Mrs. Banks kisses Mr. Banks]