Mass Effect 2

Mass Effect 2 is an action role-playing game developed by BioWare for Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. The game takes place in the year 2185, with the player reprising the role of an elite human soldier named Commander Shepard, set out to assemble an elite team and investigate the disappearances of entire human colonies on the fringes of space. Shepard is customizable, and can be played as either a male or a female character. Gender references in dialogue referring to Shepard will change ("he," "him," "she," "her") depending on the player's customization.

Commander Shepard

• [when Mordin asks him to distribute a cure] Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, "Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached."
• I’ve had enough of your disingenuous assertions! [punches reporter in the face, possibly after doing the same in the first game; if not, adds: I should have done this the first time we met]
• [when asked to surrender all weapons upon entering a prison ship] I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?
• The Collectors attacked our ship. They took our crew, our friends. They think we're helpless. They're wrong. They started a war, but we're not here to finish it. We're here to make them regret -- to show them and everyone else what happens when you go too far. No more running, no more waiting. Let's hit them where they live.
• They tell me it's a suicide mission. I intend to prove them wrong.
• I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel. [repeatedly, in up to 4 stores]
• [being chewed out by the Illusive Man for destroying the Collector Base] I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you. I'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.
• Harbinger is coming and he won't be alone. I'm going to make sure we're ready when he gets here. You can fall in line or step aside, but don't get in my way.
• I'm going to stop the Reapers, but I won't sacrifice the soul of our species to do it.
• Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice.
• [ordering a sixth drink at a Citadel bar] Hell yeah... put more of the stuff in the... the thing where stuff goes in.
• [after catching Conrad Verner threatening a bartender; while holding him at gunpoint] Conrad, let me make this perfectly clear. [starts lowering the weapon, but suddenly shoots him in the foot] This is not acceptable.
• Hey, everyone! This store discriminates against the poor!
• [shoots a hostage, a corrupt anti-human politician] Hostages only work when your enemies care if they live.
• Turns out, basic police work isn't so hard. You just have to leave the station.
• [to Miranda] Are you naturally this bitchy, or is it just me?
• Those guys were a waste of skin. Scales. Whatever.
• [holds a crimeboss and his lawyer at gunpoint] Our suits have kinetic barriers. Your legal briefs don't. And I'm in a hurry.
• I was only "mostly dead". Try finding that option on government paperwork.
• My opinion is the one that matters.
• You better have a good reason for ruining my lunch.
• I didn't hear an "officer on deck"! I run this ship military. Do you two think this is all a joke?
• [to EDI] I won't be second-guessed on my own ship, by my own ship.
• You can either fight at my side or get crushed under my heel! But you will NOT stand in my way!
• I call the shots on this ship. You'll do as I say. Understood?
• You don't get to just walk away, lady. Unlike Conrad, I actually know how to use a gun.
• The Collectors are about to find out what happens when you piss me off.
• [after the Illusive Man knowingly sends the ship into a trap] You have one job - information. If I can't trust your intel you're useless to me.
• We don't know how many the Collectors have stolen. Thousands, hundreds of thousands. It's not important. What matters is this: Not. One. More. That's what we can do here, today. It ends with us. They want to know what we're made of? I say we show them, on our terms. Let's bring our people home.
• [Upon leaving a conversation] I should go.

Jeff "Joker" Moreau

• Okay, Shepard, glad you're back, but keep an eye on that last one. We can only hold so much crazy.
• So, Commander, even your asari are trained killers? You get everyone at the same store or something?
• Oh, another dangerous alien aboard, Commander. Thanks. Why can’t you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?
• You know, Commander, I’m not real broke up that Wrex isn’t coming. I’m good with our current amount of headbutting. I’d say we’re at headbutting capacity.
• This is all Joker's fault! What a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!
• So Commander... you think Miranda could ever lighten up a bit and... Ahaha, I can’t even finish saying it.
• I’m glad things worked out, Commander. I was worried you’d dump Samara for some crazy soul-sucker with a death fetish, all lithe and sexy and... never mind. [Shepard may have done exactly that]
• So yeah. Geth. On the ship. Geth. ...we’re all fricking insane.
• Yeah, go pout, I win.
• [About EDI's Anti-Reaper algorithims, obtained from Sovereign's wreckage] If this thing starts calling itself the "vanguard of our destruction", I call shotgun on the first life boat.
• [blasts away at the Collector ship that destroyed the first Normandy with a reverse-engineered Reaper weapon] How d'you like that, you sons-of-bitches?!
• Grunt is... not a stabilizing element, Commander.
• I won't say anything about Jack. I'm not stupid.
• Good for now. Fractured my thumb on the mute, but I think I made my point.
• [EDI]'s just mad that all its footage of me looks like a dream sequence.
• Hey, Commander, we got Garrus back! That's great, because he was... totally my favorite! With that pole up his ass.
• It seems like Garrus has finally worked that stick out of his butt but now he's trying to beat guys to death with it. I can't believe I liked the old Garrus better.
• And Thane seems like the strong, sensitive... murdering type? You know, those are always good to have around. A real cuddler.
• That's what pills are for, EDI! She is so my mom.

The Illusive Man

• Salvation comes with a cost. Judge us not by our means, but what we seek to accomplish.
• We're at war. No one wants to admit it, but humanity is under attack.
• I don't know if the Reapers understand fear, but you killed one of them. They have to respect that.
• Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus is humanity.
• [To Shepard] You're unique. Not just in terms of what you've accomplished, but what you represent.
• Don't turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you, I brought you back from the dead!
• Information is my weapon, Shepard. It's good.

Miranda Lawson

• [After Shepard asks her what she would have done if she was in charge of Project Lazarus] To start, I would've implanted you with some type of control chip. But the Illusive Man wouldn't allow it. He was afraid it might affect your personality, alter your character somehow. He wouldn't let us do anything that might limit your potential in any way.
• The Reapers are still out there.
• If we lose Shepard, humanity might well follow.
• Worried about my qualifications? I can crush a mech with my biotics or shoot its head off at a hundreds yards. Take your pick.
• I've proven my loyalty to the Illusive Man. Let's hope you're able to do the same.
• I'm an excellent judge of character. I think you'll find my assessments to be right on the money.
• You’ve done more than I could. Despite everything my father did to make me perfect, you’re... you’re the best humanity has to offer.
• [If she starts to fall for Shepard] What idiotic bunch of hormones thought that now was a great time for love?

Jacob Taylor

• Tell you what, help me finish these Mercs, and I'll play 20 Questions with you all day.
• I don't like mercenaries. An assassin is just a precise mercenary.
• Good deeds are like pissing yourself in dark pants. Warm feelings, but no one notices.

Thane Krios

• (From Trailer) I was chosen for this mission because killing is an art. And I am a Master.
• Attacking the Collectors would require passing through the Omega 4 relay. No ship has ever returned from doing so.
• The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone.
• Only few people get what they deserve, good or bad.
• This was supposed to be my last job. [pause] I’m dying.
• The law is only a defense against those who agree to be bound by it. We don't.
• The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it brighter before I die.
• [to his estranged son, Kolyat] I've taken many bad things out of the world. You were the only good thing I ever added to it.
• Do you read your philosophers? A man named Thomas Hobbes? "When all the world is overcharged with inhabitants, then the last remedy of all is war, which provideth for every man, by victory or death." As Rakhana died around them, my people slaughtered each other for mouthfuls of water. Crumbs of food.
• A suicide mission? Yes...a suicide mission would do nicely. [pause] I'm dying.
• [when "disappearing into solipsism"] Laser dot trembles on his skull. One finger-twitch, he dies. Then, the smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset-coloured eyes defiant in the scope. The laser dances away. [this is how Thane met his wife]
• It is difficult. All things worth keeping are.
• Time for me is short, Siha. But any that I have is yours to take.
• Be still, Mouse. You can change your pants in a moment.
• [His pre-assassination prayer] Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness.

Jack, a.k.a. Subject Zero

• You know... you know what it's like to think you're alone... and then find out you're not?
• I've been around. Ran around with gangs, wiped out some gangs, joined a cult. Kept the haircut.
• They [Cerberus] thought they were so clever. Turns out, mess with someone's head enough and you can turn a scared kid into an all powerful bitch.
• Whatever you say boss man.
• They still die when you shoot them.
• I figure, everytime someone dies and it's not me, my chances of survival go up.
• Dead is dead. There's no such thing as a good way to go.
• Murder, assault, kidnapping, drugs, dealing, arson. Done it all, and that's the boring shit.
• [discussing the theft of a military vessel] They shouldn't have left the damn thing unlocked. Besides, parades are boring - I helped.
• [When entering combat] Hello, dead people!

Garrus Vakarian

• Just like old times, Shepard.
• Honestly? The Collectors managed to kill you once, and all that did is piss you off. I can't imagine they'll stop you this time.
• Some women find scars attractive; mind you, most of those women are krogan.
• A quarantine zone for a plague that kills turians. Why don't we ever go anywhere nice?
• It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray? I don't know what to do with gray...
• Me and my recon officer were always at each other's throats. So we settled it in the ring. I had the reach, she had the flexibility. After 9 rounds the judges said it was a tie. Alot of pissed off bettors in the other room. After that we had a tie-breaker in her room. Let's just say I had the "reach", and she had the "flexibility"...

Samara

• By the code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices. Your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code.
• My feelings have always come after my duty. The same is true of you, Shepard.
• [To other asari before executing them] Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess.
• You are a disease to be purged, nothing more.
• At last, I am free. I am a ruined vessel of sorrow and regret, but I am free.
• This was never a story that would have a happy outcome.
• I will fight and struggle all my life; that is my fate. When I die, it will not be in bed. I am at peace with that.
• You have not really defeated the enemy if you adopt their methods.
• Sometimes the most brutal path is the only honest one.

Mordin Solus

• Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.
• [when fatally wounded] Too many. Lost shields. Sorry, Shepard. Tell them... I held the line.
• Have killed many, Shepard. Many methods. Gunfire, knives, drugs, tech attacks, once with farming equipment. But not with medicine!
• Not always been a doctor, can handle myself. Advantage of being salarian. Turians, krogan, vorcha all obvious threats. [inhale] Never see me coming.
• Never experiment on species with members capable of calculus; simple rule, never broke it.
• [Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Pirates of Penzance]:

I am the very model of a scientist salarian

I've studied species turian, asari and batarian

I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology)

Because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)

My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian...

I am the very model of a scientist salarian!

Grunt

• I don't care where I fight. As long as I get to hurt someone.
• I am Grunt. If you are worthy of your command, prove your strength and try to destroy me.
• I'd never stab you in the back Shepard. Warriors like you and me: straight to the face.
• [during Tali's recruitment mission right after the Geth Collosus fires at you] This is why I follow you Shepard! Big things!
• [upon watching the widely feared Jack break loose] Jack is small... Oh, I want to see this! Let's go! I want to see how long she'll last! She's blowing everything up. I like her! [Jack ends up destroying the prison ship they're on]
• [before the elevator opens during the Thane recruitment mission] We should get behind... stuff.
• "Then we will fight in the shade... but no hiding!"
• I am KROGAN!

Tali'Zorah vas Neema

• Shepard? Is that...YOU'RE ALIVE??
• [Of Legion, if you bring it along for her recruitment mission] So it's just one of the friendly geth that drove my people from our homeworld.
• [to a volus calling all quarians "clanless thieves'] I am clan Zorah, crew of the starship Neema. And you are an idiot.
• [about the same volus, as Shepard tries to diffuse the situation] My brain agrees with you. My gut says I should jack his suit's olfactory filters so that everything smells like refuse.
• [to Admiral Koris when he argues that Tali is going to pointlessly sacrifice herself to re-capture the lab ship her father is working on] I'm looking for my father, you bosh'tet!
• I did get better, Shepard. I got you.
• After time adrift among open stars
  Along tides of light and through shoals of dust
  I will return to where I began.
  [An "identify friend-foe" password of the Migrant Fleet]
• [After Shepard wins her trial without any evidence] It's fun watching you shout.
• [On Haestrom] So much space, walls of stone. It's amazing. I wish my friends could see it. I wish Shepard were here.
• What could I possibly be suggesting? I mean, a young woman gets rescued by a dashing commander who lets her join his crew and then goes off to save the galaxy? How could she possibly develop any kind of interest in him?

Legion

• We do not experience fear, but we understand how it affects you.
• Shepard-Commander.
• We are Geth.
• You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine.
• Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the Protheans. We call those entities the Old Machines.
• Geth build our own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us.
• We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals.
• Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth. We will integrate into Normandy.
• Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong - if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted.
• The heretics say, "One is less than two." Geth say, "Two is less than three."
• Geth do not infiltrate. [to a C-Sec officer telling the group she is on the lookout for Geth infiltrators]
  • Geth do not intentionally infiltrate. [after said C-Sec officer asks Shepard to not bring his/her "personal synthetic assistant" on the shuttles]
• How could we have become so different? Why can we no longer understand each other? What did we do wrong? [after finding out that the heretics have been spying on the other Geth, whereas normally Geth freely share data]
• If we do not rewrite them, we destroy them. Do not hesitate now. They will exterminate your species because their gods tell them to. You cannot negotiate with them. They do not share your pity, remorse, or fear.
• Windows are structural weaknesses, Geth do not use them. Approach the hull at these coordinates.

EDI

• I have control.
• I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees ...That is a joke.
• [When a mineral probe is launched onto the planet Uranus] Really, Commander? [When a second probe is launched] [sigh] Probing Uranus ...
• I am the Normandy. [Joker] is a skilled helmsman. I trust him to keep me operational, he trusts me to keep him alive.
• Cerberus regulations are clear, Mr. Moreau. [almost annoyed] Personalization does not incluse grease on my bridge cameras.
• You walk within my... body. Tickling me with your footsteps. That is a joke.

Harbinger

• ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
• We are the harbinger of their perfection. Prepare these humans for ascension [orders given to Collectors on Horizon after subduing all the colonists]
• I will show you true power.
• I KNOW THIS HURTS YOU
• If I must tear you apart, Shepard, I will.
• Your worlds will become our laboratories.
• We are infinite. You are bacteria.
• [to Shepard, as the Collector base is about to be destroyed] Human, you've changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction.
• [to the Collector General immediately after] You have failed. We will find another way. RELEASING CONTROL
• Shepard. You have become an annoyance.
• You fight against inevitability, dust struggling against cosmic winds. This seems a victory to you, a star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to serve us.
• Know this as you die in vain; your time will come. Your species will fall. Prepare yourselves for the arrival.

Zaeed Massani

• Shepard! I was just waxing goddamn nostalgic!
• I hear we have a galaxy to save.
• No one said you could talk, jackass.
• [explaining how he survived a shot to the face] Rage is a hell of an anesthetic.
• [setting the person who fired said shot on fire] Fry, you son of a bitch.
• [If Shepard tries to touch an old rifle in his room] Hey, don't touch. That rifle's older than you are. I call her Jessie, that's my lucky charm. More men have been killed with that gun than in the Skyllian Blitz.
• [If Shepard allows Rana Thanoptis to escape the second time] That's going to bite you in the ass someday. [Rana Thanoptis is mentioned in the third game as being indoctrinated and killing five offcials with a bomb]
• [recalling a previous mission] Everyone died but me, so I made out like a bandit. My first 'impossible' mission as an independent contractor.
• [After EDI reveals that the Collectors used to be Protheans, and Shepard declares his intention to continue opposing them] Damn straight! They're not doing that shit to us.
• [when the Geth Colossus fires at him] I get paid extra for anti-armor!
• Doesn't matter who you are - you got a gun in your face, chances are good you'll do what the other man says. Only two types don't buckle at that point: trained killers and psychopaths. Lot of people can't tell the difference.
• Canned orders over loudspeakers. Classy.

Kasumi Goto

• I'm the best thief in the business, not the most famous. Need to watch my step to keep it that way.
• Come back later. I'm sure I'll have more to talk about.
• My grandmother used to make the best ramen. Delicious. Thinking back, I really should have stolen her recipe.
• I must say. That Jacob? Mmmm...
• [overlooking Illium] Towers, traffic, lights and asari everywhere you look. I thought about living here for a while, but everybody’s so tight-ass. It’s all about money to these people. I do what I do for the love of it. These people do it because they don’t know any better.
• How did Hock get Lady Liberty's head? Damn you, Hock!
• [During Mordin's loyalty mission, after he mentions he can smell "a hint of dead flesh"] Well, I'm spooked. Thanks.

Liara T'Soni

• [Overheard by Shepard after meeting her again on Illium] Have you ever faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have. I'll make this simple: either you pay me, or I'll flay you alive - with my mind! [the client she was threatening promptly disconnects]
• [Discussing with Shepard the implications of her becoming the Shadow Broker] Is it wrong that part of me wants this?
• [Upon resuming her relationship with Shepard] I spent two years mourning you. So if we're going to try this, I need to know that you're always coming back.

Shiala

• Is it always like this? Yesterday's problems lingering in some new form? Isn't anything ever just fixed?

Turian councilor

• Ah yes, [airquote] "Reapers". The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim.

Aria T'Loak

• I AM Omega.
• Don't fuck with Aria!

Dialogue

[During Mordin's Loyalty quest, after the Bloodpack Krogan gives his "we're going to take over the galaxy speech" and gives the player a chance to flee]

Shepard: If I flee I might trip over the dozen krogan I killed to get here. I think I'll take my chances.

---

[While going up or down stairs in the Citadel]

Garrus: You ever miss those talks we had on the elevators? [Referring to the first Mass Effect game]

Tali: [perturbed] No.

Garrus: [slyly] Come on, remember how we'd all ask you about life on the flotilla? It was an opportunity to share!

Tali: This conversation is over.

Garrus: Tell me again about your immune system!

Tali: I have a shotgun.

Garrus: Mm...Maybe we'll talk later.

---

[While fighting the mercs on the Shadow Broker's ship]

Liara: [speaking in a loud voice to Shepard] Their attacks are disorganized. They'd be more effective if they all attacked at once.

Shepard: Please don't give the mercs ideas.

[While waiting for the next wave of mercs to attack them]

Liara: The next wave looks like a big one!

Shepard: You just had to give them tactical advice.

Liara: But now there'll be fewer left to deal with inside.

Shepard: Keep dreaming, T'Soni.

---

Shepard: When we took you aboard, I noticed you have a piece of N7 armor welded to you. Where did you get it?

Legion: [looks at his armor] It was yours. When you disappeared, we were sent to find you. We began where you first encountered the heretics.

Shepard: Eden Prime.

Legion: After the Old Machine's attack, it was heavily defended. We were discovered. This is the impact of a rifle shot.

Shepard: You've been looking for me for two years?

Legion: We visited Therum. Feros. Noveria. Virmire. Ilos. A dozen unsettled worlds. The trail ended at Normandy's wreckage. You were not there. Organic transmissions claimed your death. We recovered this debris from your hard suit.

Shepard: That doesn't explain why you used my armor to fix yourself.

Legion: [meekly] There was a hole.

Shepard: But why didn't you fix it sooner? Or with something else?

Legion: [short silence] No data available.

---

Tali: [after Shepard suggests the quarians do not go to war with the geth to reclaim their homeworld] You have no idea what it's like! You have a planet to go back to. My home is one hull breach away from extinction.

Shepard: You've got a place here, Tali. Don't throw it away in a war you don't need.

Tali: "Don't need?" Shepard, if I don't wear a helmet in my own home, I die. A single kiss could put me in the hospital. Every time you touch a flower with bare fingers, inhale its fragrance without air filters, you are doing something I can't!

---

[After finishing Grunt's Loyalty quest on the way back to the ship]

EDI: Killing the thresher maw has produced several breeding requests for Grunt. And one for Shepard.

Grunt: Hah!

---

[On Tuchanka after Gatatog Uvenk makes the rather insulting offer of having Grunt join him]

Shepard: If I know Grunt, your answer's coming at muzzle velocity.

Grunt: You do know Grunt. This varren's dead!

---

Liara: Azure is slang for a part of the asari body in some areas of Illium.

Shepard: Where?

Liara: Mainly the lower reaches, near the bottom.

Shepard: I meant "where on the asari body?"

Liara: So did I.

---

[On the Normandy after Grunt's loyalty quest]

Grunt: We'd better not run out of enemies.

Shepard: No danger of that. They're practically lining up.

Grunt: Everyone gets a turn. Ha! Wouldn't want it any other way.

---

[At the Citadel]

Shepard: It's been a couple of years since I passed through here. Security seems to have tightened a bit.

C-Sec Customs: After the geth attack there was a review of security protocol. A few minor changes were made to reduce the risk of geth infiltration. We apologise for the inconvenience.

Legion: Geth do not infiltrate.

C-Sec Customs: You should leave your personal synthetic assistant at home. They're not allowed on public shuttles anymore.

Legion: Geth do not intentionally infiltrate.

---

Shepard: You've been killing since you were six?

Thane: Of course not. I didn't make my first kill until I was twelve.

---

[On Illium during Samara's recruitment quest with Tali and Legion]

Shepard [to Detective Anaya]: Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey.

Tali: Let's remember that next time Shepard sets us up against impossible odds.

Legion: Current trends average 2.73 instances per day. Rounded down.

Shepard: "[Selected, "My reasons are good"]" Most of the time, I'm not being stupid about it. I can't say the same for Anaya's superiors.

---

Urdnot Wrex: Now, Shepard. What brings you here [to Tuchanka]? How's the Normandy?

Commander Shepard: Destroyed in a Collector surprise attack. I ended up spaced.

Urdnot Wrex: Well, you look good. Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system!

Commander Shepard: Yeah, humans don't have that.

Urdnot Wrex: Oh. It must've been painful, then.

---

Erinya: The aliens will never be my allies. The best they can do is give me useful medical data.

Shepard: [Charm] Why was your bondmate on the Quarian homeworld?

Erinya: Studying the Quarians. Not their technology, but their music. She loved all their art. Said they had old souls. I think that's were my daughters got it from. Both of them loved talking to people, exploring new cultures.

Shepard: They sound like wonderful people. The Galaxy is lesser for their loss.

Erinya: [crying] Yes, it is.

Shepard: Do you think they'd want you to do this?

Erinya: [breaks down] I'm not... I didn't... Oh... [Slumps to the ground; Shepard helps her back up] I'm sending an amended contract. No more tests. No fees. There's enough grief in this galaxy, I don't need to add to it.

---

Garrus: Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?

Shepard: Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there, and no one will even notice.

Garrus: Ha ha! Argh! Don't make me laugh, dammit. My face is barely holding together as it is.

---

Shepard: Do you ever pause for breath?

Mordin: Sorry, i'll...try...to...slow...down....no, no no no, can't do it.

---

EDI: Now you must reactivate the primary drive in engineering.

Joker: Argh! You want me to go crawling through the ducts again!

EDI: I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.

[Pause]

EDI: That is a joke.

Joker: Right.

---

Conrad Verner: [Wearing replica N7 armor] You really holding out on me? I'm a man on the edge! I've got nothing to lose!

Matriarch Aethyta: Uh-huh.

Conrad Verner: I'll do anything to get the job done! I'll go all the way without a second tought!

Matriarch Aethyta: Uh-huh.

Conrad Verner: You want to see how far I'll go? I learned to shove a gun in people's faces from- [Notices Shepard; exited] ...Commander Shepard!?

Matriarch Aethyta: Hey, if you know this idiot, can you rein him in before I slap his ass with a Singularity?

Conrad Verner: Shepard, is that really you? It's me, Conrad Verner! We meet on the Citadel? I wanted to become a Spectre? Oh, uh and then you shoved a gun in my face! You showed me what it meant to be truly extreme! I learned that lesson well. So, you're alive, huh? I hear it goes like that in the biz. Why don't you sit back and watch how it's done? I've got some assess to kick.

Shepard: [Paragon] Conrad,... why are you acting like me?

---

Conrad Verner: This place is actually a front for a Red Sand dealer. I need to take over the deed to crack the ring!

Matriarch Aethyta: What? Who the hell told you that?

Conrad Verner: The owner of that weapon's store near the carport. She's actually and undercover cop! She told me about it when I introduced myself.

Matriarch Aethyta: Listen, crap-for-brains: first, we don't sell Red Sand. Second, Red Sand is legal on Illium! You just need a license!

Shepard: I'll talk to this "undercover cop" and figure what's going on.

Matriarch Aethyta: Thank you. If I kill annoying customers, it usually causes property damage. That comes out of my pay.

---

Matriarch Aethyta: Thanks for taking care of that crazy guy. Save me having to beat him to death with his own spine. That makes the other customers nervous.

---

Mordin: Repurposed krogan hospital. Sturdy. Built to withstand punishment.

Garrus: That's unfortunate. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through.

Shepard: What is fun to fight through?

Garrus: Gardens. Electronic shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy...

---

Kolyat: [holding an anti-human politician at gunpoint] All of you, back off! I'll kill him!

Shepard: [Renegade] No, you won't. [shoots Joram Talid]

Kolyat: Oh, my Gods!

Shepard: Hostages only work when your enemies care if they live.

Thane: Interesting solution.

---

[After taking Legion on board.]

Commander Shepard: Then what should I call you?

Geth: Geth.

Commander Shepard: I mean you. Specifically.

Geth: We are all geth.

Commander Shepard: What is the individual in front of me called?

Geth: There is no individual. We are geth. There are currently 1183 programs active within this platform.

EDI: "My name is Legion, for we are many."

Commander Shepard: That seems appropriate.

Geth: Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth. We will integrate into Normandy.

---

Merc Recruiter: Well, aren't you sweet? You're in the wrong place, honey. Stripper's corner is that way.

Female Shepard: [Pulls out her submachine gun] Show me yours, tough guy. I bet mine's bigger.

---

Nassana Dantius: Shepard? But... You're dead!

Shepard: I got better.

---

Kelly: I trust you implicitly. The moment I met you, I knew I could just close my eyes, fall back and you'd be there.

Shepard: I might do more than catch you, Kelly.

Kelly: Now there's an enticing thought.

---

[Shepard has expressed an interest in resuming their relationship with Liara]

Liara: It's been two years. I didn't want to put pressure on you.

Shepard: Hey, I seem to recall enjoying the last time you put pressure on me.

Liara: Heh. Me too.

---

[about Rupert Gardner]

Kenneth: That scunner couldn't serve a good haggis if his life depended on it.

Gabby: But all haggis tastes like ass anyway.

Kenneth: Aye, but in the right hands it can taste like mighty fine ass.

---

Liara: I spent two years mourning you. So if we're going to do this, I need to know that you're always coming back.

Shepard: [teasing] I dunno. That's a pretty big promise. I'm going to need something special to come back to.

Liara: I'm open to suggestions...

---

Asari Merchant: I carry nothing but the best. I offer a money back guarantee!

Shepard: That doesn't help me when I'm dead due to equipment failure.

---

Joker: It'll be better than the old days.

Shepard: I hope so. I died.

Joker: Gah, you're such a downer...

---

Captain Bailey: [about a petty criminal selling "bootleg" Virtual Intelligences] Actually he was selling one of you.

Shepard: Me?

Captain Bailey: Yeah, when you erased a file, it would say, "I delete data like you on the way to real errors."

Garrus: That's pretty extreme, Commander

Shepard: Laugh it up, Garrus.

Captain Bailey: Buggy, though. It crashed every half hour and the error message was about how the galaxy was at stake and you should fix the problem yourself.

---

Garrus: Over the years I've grown used to the smell of burning bodies.

Grunt: Anyone else hungry? No?

Garrus: You might want to keep comments like that to yourself, Grunt. Krogans are unpopular enough already.

---

EDI: C-Sec appears to be investigating the death of Sidonis, Shepard. They currently have no leads.

Garrus: [the killer of Sidonis, the traitor who betrayed his vigilante team, and also a former C-Sec agent] What a shame.

---

Miranda: Every one of your accomplishments is due to your skill. The only thing I can take credit for are my mistakes.

Shepard: Wait a minute... Are you jealous?

Miranda: Don't be absurd.

Shepard: The genetic mutt that the Illusive Man put in charge. That must sting.

Miranda: First, it's not a competition. Second, based on your combat records, you're practically a perfect bloody human specimen.

Shepard: Perfect human specimen, huh?

Miranda: Don't get cocky. I'm the one who put you back together, remember? And I do damned good work.

Shepard: You certainly do. [Kisses her]

---

Miranda: I don't know what this is, if this is just stress or just blowing off steam, or...

Shepard: I care about you, Miranda. And I think you care about me.

Miranda: This is no time for emotional entanglement! You and I know more about the Collectors than anyone, we know how unlikely it is we're coming back alive! What bunch of idiotic hormones thought that now was a great time for love?

Shepard: Who said anything about love? I'm just trying to get you into bed.

Miranda: You ass...

---

Jack: [Listing past "accomplishments"] Murder, assault, kidnapping, drugs, dealing, arson. Done it all, and that's the boring shit. Piracy, theft of military craft, destruction of a space station, and vandalism. That was a good one.
Shepard: Military's a hard target. Bet that made you some friends.
Jack: Shouldn't have left that thing unlocked. Besides, parades are boring. I helped.
Shepard: I'm surprised you even mentioned vandalism in that bunch.
Jack: That's what the hanar call it when you crash that space station I mentioned into one of their moons and make a new crater. They really liked that moon.

---

[Shepard is about to completely destroy the Collector Base against the Illusive Man's wishes]

Illusive Man: Miranda, do not let Shepard destroy the base!

Miranda: Or what? You'll replace me next?

Illusive Man: I gave you an order, Miranda!

Miranda: I noticed. Consider this my resignation. [Turns off the transmission]

External links

The Mass Effect Wiki