Matilda (film)

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Matilda is 1996 film about a young girl who is extremely smart and loves reading, but faces difficulties in life in the form of her disapproving parents Harry and Zinnie Wormwood plus her terrifying headmistress at school. Matilda soon finds that she has telekinetic powers — she can control things with her mind.

Directed by Danny DeVito. Written by Nicholas Kazan, based on the novel by Roald Dahl.
Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.

Contents

[edit] Agatha Trunchbull

  • Sometimes in life, horrible and unexplainable things happen. These things are a test of character. And I have character.
  • WHO'S IN MY HOUSE!!!
  • [While chasing Matilda around her house, Trunchbull vaults over a railing to drop to the ground floor] TALLYHO!
  • Some rats are gonna die today!
  • I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. [mimics spraying a pesticide] My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all.
  • [Calling Harry Wormwood after the car he sold her breaks down] Wormwood! You useless used-car salesman scum! I want you around here now, with another car! Yes, I know what "caveat emptor" means, you lowlife liar! I'm going to sue you, I'm going to burn down your showroom, I'm going to take that no-good jalopy you sold me and shove it up your bazooka! When I'm finished with you, you're going to look like roadkill!
  • I'll be watching you, each and every one. When you turn the corner, when you go to your little cubbies to get your smelly little coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you. All of you. And especially you! [Points at Matilda]

[edit] Dialogue

[First lines]
Narrator: Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique and special, for better or for worse. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Others take a "less emotional" approach. [cuts to Harry and Zinnia Wormwood about to take a newborn Matilda home from the hospital, with Harry complaining about a hospital bill]
Harry Wormwood: What a waste of time.
Zinnia Wormwood: And painful.
Harry Wormwood: And expensive. $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Zinnia Wormwood: Well, I had to take a shower, Harry.
Harry Wormwood: $5,000?! I'm not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid?
Narrator: Harry and Zinnia Wormwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house. But they were not really very nice people.
Narrator: By the time she was four, Matilda had read every magazine in the house. One night she got up her courage, and asked her father for something she desperately wanted.
Harry Wormwood: A book? What do you want a book for?
Matilda Wormwood: To read.
Harry Wormwood: To read? Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of ya? There's nothin' you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.
Harry Wormwood: Any packages come today?
Matilda Wormwood: Mm-mm.
Harry Wormwood: [noticing her books] Where'd all this come from?
Matilda Wormwood: The library.
Harry Wormwood: The library? You've never set foot in a library; you're only four years old.
Matilda Wormwood: Six-and-a-half.
Harry Wormwood: You're four!
Matilda Wormwood: Six-and-a-half!
Harry Wormwood: If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already!
Matilda Wormwood: I want to be in school. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.
Harry Wormwood: Get up. Get up. Get out of here. And give me that book.
[He throws the book aside, and leads Matilda to where Zinnia is]
Harry Wormwood: Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Zinnia Wormwood: Four.
Matilda Wormwood: I'm six-and-a-half, Mommy.
Zinnia Wormwood: Five, then.
Matilda Wormwood: I was six in August.
Harry Wormwood: You're a liar.
Matilda Wormwood: I want to go to school.
Harry Wormwood: School? It's out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages? We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid.
[Matilda leaves]
Zinnia Wormwood: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Harry Wormwood: Hmph, tell me about it.
[Harry comes home after another successful day of selling inherently faulty used cars and ripping off the buyers]
Harry Wormwood: I'm great! I'm incredible! Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen.
Zinnia Wormwood: Did we sell some cars today?
Harry Wormwood: [grins] Did we!
Zinnia Wormwood: Does that mean we can get that new TV?
Harry Wormwood: Yeah. [to Mike] Son, one day you're going to have to earn your own living. It's time you learned the family business. Sit down. Write this down. All right. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. I sold it for $1,158. The second one cost $512. I sold it for $2,269.
Mike: Wait, Dad. You're going too fast!
Harry Wormwood: Just write. The third cost $68. I sold it for $999. And the fourth cost $1,100. I sold it for 7,839 big American boffos!
Zinnia Wormwood: Oh, Harry! [kisses him]
Harry Wormwood: What was my total profit for the day?
Mike: Could you repeat the last one?
Matilda: [interrupting] $10,265. [long pause] Check it if you don't believe me.
(Harry, Zinnia and Mike all check the paper, and find it to be correct)
Harry Wormwood: You're a little cheat, you saw the paper.
Matilda: From all the way over here?
Harry Wormwood: (pause) Are you bein' smart with me? If you're bein' smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished.
Matilda: Punished for being smart?
Harry Wormwood: For being a smart aleck! When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson.
Matilda: "Person"?
Harry Wormwood: Get up, get up. [takes her to her room]
Narrator: Harry Wormwood had, unintentionally, given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." Instead he said, "When a person is bad." And thereby introduced a revolutionary idea that children could punish their parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.
[Matilda sneaks into her parents room and swaps Harry's hair oil for peroxide as punishment for rebuffing her]
Harry Wormwood: Michael, come into my room.
Mike Wormwood: What?
Harry Wormwood: My boy, today's the day I take you to the shop. What do you say?
Mike Wormwood: I don't know. What do you say, Dad?
Harry Wormwood: I say appearance is 9/10 of the law. People don't buy a car, they buy me - which is why personally I take such pride in my appearance. Well-oiled hair, clean shave, snappy suit. Now get ready for a big day of learning, kid. Ha! It's going to be a big day of learning, too. There's a sucker born every minute, and we're gonna take 'em for all they got!
[Harry sprinkles hair oil on his hair, unaware that it is actually peroxide]
[at breakfast]
Harry Wormwood: Okay, my boy, heir to the throne! Today, we diddle the customer! [Michael is shocked to see his father's unexpected blonde hair] What's wrong with you? What are you lookin' at? Lovekins, where's my breakfast?
Zinnia Wormwood: Here we are, my heartstrings-- [screams as she is surprised to see her husband's blonde hair and scatters the cereal she was carrying] Snickerdoodle! What did you do to your hair?
Harry Wormwood: My hair? [goes to the mirror and sees his hair is blonde; he shrieks in shock and faints while Matilda is holding in her laughter]
Narrator: Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long. Especially when the FBI gets involved.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17, suspect exits domicile.
FBI Agent Bill: I've got 9:18.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17 is correct.
[Harry fills a car's engine with sawdust]
Harry Wormwood: The sawdust quiets the gears, and lets the motor run as sweet as a nut - for a couple of miles! [snickers]
Matilda Wormwood: Daddy, that's cheating.
Harry Wormwood: Of course it's cheating. Nobody ever got rich bein' honest.
[As Harry demonstrates his corrupt used car selling business to Mikey]
Matilda: Daddy, you're a crook.
Harry Wormwood: What?
Matilda: This is illegal.
Harry Wormwood: Do you make money? Do you have a job?
Matilda: No, but don't people need good cars? Can't you sell good cars, Dad?
Harry Wormwood: Listen, you little wise acre. I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it.
[After Matilda uses "Super Super Glue" to very sturdily glue her father's hat to his head; Zinnia is in the process of removing it]
Harry Wormwood: [rants at no one in particular] I will not be a figure of ridicule! I want respect and I want it now!
Zinnia Wormwood: I still don't see why you glued your hat on, Harry. I know you say you didn't, but you obviously did.
Harry Wormwood: I did not glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk, the fibers fused to my hair!
Zinnia Wormwood: Baby, wait a minute. I'm getting it off now. [the hat finally comes off, with small pieces still stuck to Harry's head] Oh my God! [snickers as Harry, nonplussed, looks in a mirror]
Harry Wormwood: From now on, everyone in this house does what I say, when exactly when I say it!
Zinnia Wormwood: [quietly gives him the hat] Here's your hat, Harry.
Harry Wormwood: [tosses it aside] And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV.
[Matilda reads during dinner; her father approaches her in irritation]
Matilda: [in a small voice] Hi, Dad.
Harry Wormwood: Are you in this family? [silence] Hello? Are you in this family? [turns out her lamp] Dinner time is family time! What is this trash you're reading?
Matilda: It's not trash, Daddy. It's lovely. It's Moby Dick by Herman Melville.
Harry Wormwood: "Moby what"?! [snatches the book and tears it apart] This is filled with trash!
Matilda: It's not mine! It's a library book!
Harry Wormwood: I'm fed up with all this reading! You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Now sit up and look at the TV.
[After Matilda, through will-power, somehow makes the television explode]
Matilda: I didn't do it.
Harry Wormwood: Of course you didn't do it, you little twit.
Zinnia Wormwood: Told you that was a cheap set.
Harry Wormwood: It wasn't a cheap set, it was a stolen set!
Narrator: Was it magic or coincidence? She didn't know. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Matilda may have never discovered her own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began the very next day.
[The Trunchbull visits Wormwood's dealer]
Agatha Trunchbull: I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Can you service me?
Harry Wormwood: In a manner of speaking, yes. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
Agatha Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School.
Harry Wormwood: Huh?
Agatha Trunchbull: I warn you, sir: I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship.
Harry Wormwood: [slightly nervous] Oh, yeah, huh? Well, uh--
Agatha Trunchbull: My school is a model of discipline. "Use the rod, beat the child!" That's my motto.
Harry Wormwood: Terrific motto.
Agatha Trunchbull: You have brats yourself?
Harry Wormwood: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
Agatha Trunchbull: They're all mistakes, children. Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one.
Harry Wormwood: Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal.
Agatha Trunchbull: You'd better.
Harry Wormwood: Let's do business.
Agatha Trunchbull: What are those?
Amanda Thripp: What's what, Ms. Trunchbull?
Agatha Trunchbull: Hanging down by your ears.
Amanda Thripp: You mean my pigtails?
Agatha Trunchbull: Are you a pig, Amanda?
Amanda Thripp: No, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: Do I allow pigs in my school?
Amanda Thripp: My mommy thinks they're sweet.
Agatha Trunchbull: Your mommy is a twit!
Agatha Trunchbull: [Jenny knocks on the door] Come in, come in, whoever you are. [Jenny opens the door, and nearly gets hit by one of the Trunchbull's darts] Ah, almost got ya. Good to see you, Jen. Good, good, good. Time for one of our little "heart-to-hearts"?
Jenny: Actually, it's about the new girl in my class, Ms. Trunchbull. Matilda Wormwood.
Agatha Trunchbull: Her father says she's a real wart.
Jenny: A what?
Agatha Trunchbull: A carbuncle, a blister, a festering pustule of malignant ooze.
Jenny: Oh, no. Matilda Wormwood is a very sweet girl, and very bright.
Agatha Trunchbull: [incredulous] A "bright child"?
Jenny: Yes. She can multiply large sums in her head.
Agatha Trunchbull: So can a calculator.
Jenny: Well, I think she might be happier in an older, and more advanced class.
Agatha Trunchbull: [sneers] Ah, I knew it. You can't handle the little viper, so you're trying to foist her off onto one of the other teachers!
Jenny: No, no, no, Ms--
Agatha Trunchbull: Yes! Typical, slothful cowardice! Listen to me, Jen. [grabs a shotput] The distance the shotput goes depends upon the effort you put into it! Perspiration! If you can't handle the little brat, I'll lock her in the Chokey! [roars as she throws the shotput across the room] Get it?
Jenny: [terrified] Yes, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: One day, Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. And the good of those putrescent little children!
Zinnia Wormwood: Look, Miss Snit. A girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent. I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books; I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband; and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college? (laughs)
Harry Wormwood: College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen! [chuckles]
Jenny: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
Harry Wormwood: [less smugly] Yeah.
Jenny: Or--or say you were sued for selling a faulty car? The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college too.
Harry Wormwood: [sternly] What car? Sued by who? Who you been talkin' to?
[As punishment for supposedly eating the Trunchbull's chocolate cake, Bruce Bugtrotter has been forced to eat an entire cake in front of the whole student body]
Agatha Trunchbull: This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you?
Bruce Bogtrotter: I don't know what you're talking about.
Agatha Trunchbull: Cake. Chocolate cake. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate my personal snack! (whips riding crop onto table) Do you deny it? Confess!
Bruce Bogtrotter: Well, it's hard for me to remember a specific cake.
Agatha Trunchbull: This one was mine. And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world.
Bruce Bogtrotter: My mom's is better.
Agatha Trunchbull: It is, is it? How can you be sure unless you have another piece? Sit down, Bog.
Agatha Trunchbull: [her car has broken down] How can you keep going, you useless, flaming car?! [notices Matilda] Wormwood! Sell me a lemon? [starts dragging her down the hallway] You're heading for the Chokey, young lady!
Matilda: Chokey?
Agatha Trunchbull: It'll teach you a lesson!
Matilda: What lesson?
Agatha Trunchbull: You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!
Matilda: My father?
Agatha Trunchbull: The guy with the stupid haircut!
Matilda: I'm nothing like my father!
Agatha Trunchbull: You're the spitting image! [shoves her into the Chokey] The apple never rots far from the tree! [slams the door]
Jenny: Okay now. Last time, some of you forgot yourselves. Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh. Don't smile. Don't even breathe loudly--
Agatha Trunchbull: [entering] Don't breathe at all.
[Jenny rescues Matilda from the Chokey, and brings her back to the classroom. As they enter, we see the Trunchbull holding a boy upside down by his leg]
Agatha Trunchbull: Next time I tell you to empty your pockets, you'll do it faster, won't you?!
Hanging Boy: Yes, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: [notices Jenny and Matilda] Ah, Miss Honey. This could be the most interesting thing you've ever done. [drops the boy] Sit down, ya squirming worm of vomit!
Agatha Trunchbull: Can you spell?
Amanda Thripp: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
Agatha Trunchbull: You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it.
Amanda Thripp: She taught us with a poem.
Agatha Trunchbull: [with a mock high-pitched tone] A poem? How sweet. What poem would that be?
Amanda Thripp: Mrs. D, Mrs. I... [gestures to class to join in] Mrs. F-F-I. Mrs. C, Mrs. U., Mrs. L-T-Y.
Agatha Trunchbull: [viciously whips riding crop on desk] Why are all these women married?! "Mrs. D, Mrs. I"? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry!
[The Trunchbull discovers the newt in the glass she was drinking from]
Agatha Trunchbull: It's a snake! It's a snake! One of you tried to poison me! Who?! [Matilda puts her hand up] Oh, Matilda. I knew it.
Matilda: I just thought you'd like to know, it's not a snake. It's a newt.
Agatha Trunchbull: What did you say?
Matilda: It's a newt, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: [sharply] Stand up, you villainous sack of goat-slime! You did this!
Matilda: No, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: Did you act alone, or did you have accomplices?
Matilda: I didn't do it.
Agatha Trunchbull: You didn't like the Chokey, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady!
Matilda: For what, Ms. Trunchbull?
Agatha Trunchbull: [furiously] For this newt, you piss worm!
Matilda: I'm telling you, I didn't do it!
Agatha Trunchbull: [regains composure] Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat! You're the most corrupt low-lifes in the history of civilization! Am I wrong? I'm never wrong. In this classroom, in this school, I am GOD!
[Matilda, getting more and more angry, concentrates on the glass; suddenly, the glass tips over, pouring the newt onto the Trunchbull]
Matilda: This is the cottage from your story.
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: The young woman is you.
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: But then... No.
Jenny: Yes. Aunt Trunchbull.
Matilda: Why don't you run away?
Jenny: I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all.
Matilda: You're very brave, Miss Honey.
Jenny: Not as brave as you.
Matilda: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything.
Jenny: Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get scared, just like children.
Matilda: I wonder what Ms. Trunchbull is afraid of.
Jenny: [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Oh my. My father's portrait used to hang there.
Matilda: Whoever painted the Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach.
Matilda: Dad?
Harry Wormwood: What do you want?
Matilda: Yell at me, okay?
Harry Wormwood: Shut up and leave us alone!
Matilda: Yell at me again.
Harry Wormwood: Yell at ya? I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! What do I have to do to get any respect around here?! I'm gonna give you a tanning like you've never had in your life! My word is my law!
(Before he can reach her, Matilda uses her powers to slam the door shut. She smiles to herself as he is heard raving and hammering on it.)
Mikey: Hey, dip face, where are you going?
Matilda: Out.
Mikey: Hey, dip face. Have a carrot! [Mikey flicks a carrot at Matilda. To his astonishment, it suddenly stops itself in mid-flight, reverses direction, and fires right into his mouth, lodging in his esophagus. He starts choking on the carrot]
Harry Wormwood: [from offscreen] Chew on your food, you're an animal.
[Matilda catches Agents Bob and Bill in the garage without a search warrant]
Matilda: You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon.
FBI Agent Bill: [to his partner] It's the female minor.
FBI Agent Bob: Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady?
Matilda: I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison.
FBI Agent Bob: It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll end up?
FBI Agent Bill: In a federal orphanage.
FBI Agent Bob: If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage.
FBI Agent Bill: The kind with food... and teeny-weeny cockroaches.
FBI Agent Bob: What do you say?
Matilda: There's another crime in the making: your car is about to run a Stop sign.
[We see that the handbrake has been taken off their car, which is now rolling towards a four-way stop intersection]
Jenny: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back in that house again.
Matilda: I didn't. I was on the garage roof. [whispering] I did it with my powers.
[Matilda uses her powers to write on the blackboard, pretending to be the ghost of Magnus, Jenny's father]
Class: [reading] Agatha. This is Magnus. Give my little bumblebee her house, and her money
Agatha Trunchbull: Money?.
Class: Then get out of town. If you don't, I will get you. I will get you like you got me. That is a promise.
Matilda: I love it here! I love my school; it isn't fair! Miss Honey, please don't let them--
Harry Wormwood: [interrupting] Get in the car, Melinda.
Matilda: Matilda!
Harry Wormwood: Whatever.
Matilda: I want to stay with Miss Honey!
Zinnia Wormwood: Miss Honey doesn't want you! Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?
Jenny: [extremely serious] Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child, and I love her.
Matilda: Adopt me, Miss Honey. You can adopt me.
Harry Wormwood: Look, I don't have time for all these legalities.
Matilda: One second, Dad. I have the adoption papers! [reveals them]
Zinnia Wormwood: What the-- Where did you get those?
Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox.
Zinnia Wormwood: Are you hearing this, Harry?!
Matilda: All you have to do is sign them.
Mikey: [from the car] I'll be an only child again.
Harry Wormwood: [frustrated] Shut up! I--I can't think with all these sirens!
[Police sirens are heard nearby, indicating that the police are after Harry]
Harry Wormwood: [calms, then turns to Zinnia] What do you think, Bumpkin?
Zinnia Wormwood: [turns to Matilda uneasily] You were the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. And I never understood you, not one little bit. [pause] Who's got a pen?

[edit] Cast

[edit] External Links

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