Me and You and Everyone We Know
Christine Jesperson 
- If you really love me, let's make a vow — right here, together... right now.
- We have a whole life to live together you fucker, but it can't start until you call.
- Call me, if you ever feel too old to drive.
- Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck me! Fuck old people! Fuck children! Fuck peace! Fuck peace...
Richard Swersey 
- I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it.
- You know some kids don't even have one home and now you get to have two. Think about that.
- We will never touch your foot with our hands. Now I'll tell you what I can do, I can press on the shoe to see if it fits. I can go like this. [presses the toe of the shoe]
- [after taking off the bandage from his hand] It needs air. It needs to do some living. Let's take my hand for a walk.
- I would love to believe in a universe where you wake up and don't have to to go to work and you step outside and meet two beautiful 18-year-old sisters who are also girlfriends and are also very nice people.
- But this is better 'cause it won't matter if we mess up. And we'll be together.
Peter Swersey 
- So, do you have anything new in the chest? You know, the hope chest.
- Email wouldn't even exist if it weren't for AIDS.
- Ask her if she likes baloney.
- Peter: What should we write... I have a big weiner?
- Robby: I want to poop back and forth.
- Peter: What? What does that mean?
- Robby: Like I'll poop into her butthole and she'll poop it back... into my butthole and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth. With the same poop. Back and forth. Forever.
- Christine Jesperson: [seeing his bandage] Whoa, what happened?
- Richard Swersey: You want the short version or the long one?
- Christine Jesperson: The long one.
- Richard Swersey: I tried to save my life but it didn't work.
- Christine Jesperson: Wow. What's the short one?
- Richard Swersey: I burned it.
- Untitled: Are you touching yourself?
- NightWarrior: [looks down at fingertips touching on edge of desk] Yes.
- Richard Swersey: You think you deserve that pain but you don't.
- Christine Jesperson: I mean, they kind of rub my ankles, but all shoes does that. I have low ankles.
- Richard Swersey: You think you deserve that pain, but you don't.
- Christine Jesperson: I don't think I deserve it.
- Richard Swersey: Well, not consciously maybe.
- Christine Jesperson: My ankles are just low...
- Richard Swersey: People think that foot pain is a fact of life, but life is actually better than that.
- Michael: I'll say. You should get some. Your whole life could be better. Just starting right now.
- Sylvie: You want to be a little bird and get a little worm? Just lie down and peep.
- Robby: Peep, peep, peep.
- Andrew: Dude, did you just give her the family discount?
- Richard Swersey: Yeah. She's my neighbor, and I'm trying to work on my karma. Do you know what karma means?
- Andrew: Yeah.
- Richard Swersey: It means that she owes me one.
- Michael: I just wish I had met her 50 years sooner.
- Christine Jesperson: Yeah.
- Michael: But then maybe I needed 70 years of life to be ready for a woman like Ellen.
- Sylvie: Soup won't be computerized.
- Housewares Saleswoman: Why not?
- Sylvie: It's a liquid.
- Peter Swersey: I'd live up there if I could, if there was no gravity
- Sylvie: Yeah, but if you lived up there, all the stuff in my room would fall on you and crush you and you'd die
- Christine Jesperson: But she's the love of your life, You're just going to let her go?
- Michael: No, she's just going...
- Robby: Mom says we have a chore wheel.
- Richard Swersey: What?
- Peter Swersey: Nothing.
- Robby: A chore wheel. You put chores on it and then you can spin it. There's this metal thing and it helps it to spin. It's spinning from the metal.