Oliver Herford

Oliver Herford (1863-12-03 – 1935-07-05) was an American humorous poet and illustrator.

Sourced

• Diplomacy: Lying in state.
  • The Altogether New Cynic's Calendar of Revised Wisdom for 1907 (1906)

• Actresses will happen in the best-regulated families.
  • Quoted in The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations (1986) p. 9

Unsourced

• A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well.

• A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

• Age, like distance lends a double charm.

• Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

• Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.

• If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one; go ahead, get married.

• Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

• Many are called but few get up.

• Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

• My wife has a whim of iron.

• Only the young die good.

• Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.

• The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.

• There is no time like the pleasant.