Peanuts

From Wikiquote

Peanuts was a comic strip drawn by Charles M. Schulz from 1950 until 2000, and was also developed into several TV animated specials and four animated theatrical features. The strip's most recognizable icons are born-loser Charlie Brown and his lazy dog Snoopy, who will always sleep on his dog house instead of inside it.

See also: Charles M. Schulz

Contents 1 Common Phrases 2 Charlie Brown 3 Sally Brown 3.1 Sally's school reports 4 Snoopy 4.1 As the World War I Flying Ace 4.2 As the "World Famous Novelist" 5 Woodstock 6 Linus van Pelt 7 Lucy van Pelt 7.1 Baseball Excuses 8 Rerun van Pelt 9 Schroeder 10 Peppermint Patty 11 Marcie 12 Frieda 13 Pig-Pen 14 Violet Gray 15 Patty 16 Shermy 17 Eudora 18 Lydia 19 Spike 20 Dialogue 20.1 1950s Strips 20.2 1960s Strips 20.3 1970s Strips 20.4 1980s Strips 20.5 1990s Strips 20.6 Unsourced 21 TV Specials and Movies 21.1 A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) 21.2 Charlie Brown's All Stars (1966) 21.3 Why, Charlie Brown, Why? (1990) 22 External links 23 References

[edit] Common Phrases

• Good grief!

• I can't stand it! I just can't stand it!

• You blockhead(s)!

• (usually to Charlie Brown): That's the way it goes...

• AAUGH!!

• Rats!

[edit] Charlie Brown

• waking up after getting hit with a line drive: I'm dying, and all I hear are insults!

• Why can't I have a normal (dog, baseball team, groundskeeper, etc...) like everyone else?

• It depresses a manager to see his team cry... (14 Jun 58)

• sees Lucy wearing one of his shirts: Well hello there, Charlie Brown, you blockhead!! Violet and Patty crack up (22 Feb 59)

• How can we lose when we're so sincere? (6 Apr 63)

• Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love! (15 Dec 64)

• I don't have a ball team, I have a theological seminary! (17 Sep 67)

• Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Why me?" Then a voice answers, "Nothing personal... your name just happened to come up." (13 Nov 93)

• disciplining Sally for lying: GEORGE WASHINGTON!!!

• on his disciplining Sally as above: I hated to do it, but some problems call for drastic action.

• on his dancing skills: The girls hated me, but the teacher said I was very creative. She said that was the first time she ever saw anyone dance the Fox-Waltz! (27 Jan 85)

• That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another...

• My anxieties have anxieties.

• Other kids' baseball heroes hit home runs. Mine gets sent down to the minors.

• My stomach hurts...

• in the class spelling bee, asked to spell the word "maze": M...A...Y...S... AAUGH!

• mixing up his proverbs: "He to whom the early bird runs best learns wisdom and knowledge!"

• For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life. But there was a flag on the play!

• I'm not a poor loser, I'm a good loser. I'm so good at it I lose all the time!

• Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don't have a single thing to worry about...That always worries me!

• I've developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.

• Life is like an ice cream cone...you have to learn to lick it.

• suspenseful after hallucinating baseballs repeatedly, but now at camp: I can't look! I can't stand the suspense!! But I HAVE to look, I HAVE to know!! Will I see the SUN, or will I see a BASEBALL? WHAT WILL I SEE!?! (sees the face of Alfred E. Neuman with his phrase: "What! Me Worry?" atop his head!) (5 Jul 73)

• to Snoopy: Why aren't you a pony?!!

• on being made a school crossing guard: When I got called to the office, I was a nobody...now, I'm a man with a badge!

• after proving there are no spiders in the baseball gloves: No manager in the history of baseball has had to go through what I go through...

• Yes ma'am, I understand, that's life: Front row in the classroom, last row, back deck in the ballpark.

• in one of his last strips: This is my Joe Torre look. I'm going to use it next season. I'll manage the team from the bench like Joe Torre, and I'll stare at everybody like this. And we'll win every game.
• On the Little red-haired girl: I hate myself for not having the courage to go over and talk to her! Well, that's not exactly true... I hate myself for lots of other reasons too.

[edit] Sally Brown

• to Linus: My Sweet Babboo!

• why she wants to be a nurse: I like white shoes.

• Happiness is having your own library card.

• going door to door with Charlie Brown, helping him sell his homemade Christmas wreaths: Ask your mother if she'd like to buy a wreath. Tell her they were made from the famous forests of Lebanon. ... If you buy two, we'll throw in an autographed photo of King Solomon!

• How can I go to school if I don't know any of the answers?

• I'm writing to Joe Garagiagiariolia.

• on Linus: Isn't he the cutest thing?

• That was weird, big brother. I could hear your face fall clear out in the other room!

• on Linus: He's my Sweet Babboo and I'm his Babbooette.

• I'm taking the advice of Theodore Roosevelt...speak softly and carry a beagle!

• reciting 'Twas the Night Before Christmas: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hope that Jack Nicklaus soon would be there.

• reciting her "Hark!" line in the Christmas play: Hockey stick!

• I would like to say I enjoyed this first day at school. I realize the teachers have put in a lot of effort, and a host of administrators have worked hard to develop our current scholastic program. The PTA has also done its share as have the school custodians. Therefore, I would like very much to say I enjoyed this first day at school. But I didn't! (09 Sept 63)

• Who was the father of Henry IV?! I COULD NOT POSSIBLY CARE LESS! ... I'm sorry... I apologize... That was just a gut reaction. (5 May 72)

• bursting into Charlie Brown's room: Wake up, Santa Claus came last night and he didn't leave you anything!" [Pause] April fool!" (26 Dec 91)

• School starts again in two weeks. My furlough is almost over. ... How long do you have to be in before you get shore leave? (25 Aug 81)

• after messing up her lines in the nativity play: Moses hates me... Luke hates me... The apostles hate me...ALL FIFTY OF 'EM!

• A centimeter? If any centimeters come crawling into this room, I'll step on 'em! (17 Oct 74)

• If a lie works, it ISN'T a lie!!

• Charlie Brown has just yelled "GEORGE WASHINGTON" at her: You're RIGHT!! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I'll never lie again!!

[edit] Sally's school reports

• This is my report on Columbus Day. Columbus Day was a very brave man. He wanted to sail around the world. "I can give you three ships, Mr. Day," said the Queen.

• Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. ... Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth king and he was the father of Lot's wife.

• English Theme: "Vandalism as a Problem Today." Who is the leader of these vandals? I will tell you. They are encouraged by Evandalists!

• Britain was invaded in the year 43 by Roman Numerals.

• Life in the village was peaceful until the volcano interrupted.

• When writing about Church History, we have to go back to the very beginning. Our Pastor was born in 1930.

• This is my report on Rain. Rain is water which does not come out of faucets. Without rain, we would not get wet walking to school and catch a cold and have to stay home, which is not a bad idea. Rain was the inspiration for that immortal poem, "Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day." After a storm, the rain goes down the drain which is where I sometimes feel my education is also going.

• English Theme: "If I Had A Pony." If I had a pony, I'd saddle up and ride so far from this school it would make your head swim!

• Some people are right-handed. Some people are left-handed. There are other people who are able to use both hands with equal ease. Such people are called Handbidextrous.

• This is my report on the importance of knowing how to read. If you can't read and you get a love letter, you won't know what it says. That would be very sad. Although in the long run, it also could save you a lot of trouble. (30 March 84)

• Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per second. ... So why are the afternoons so long? (01 June 76)

• One "Rod" equals nine feet. One "Span" equals nine inches. One "Pace" equals three feet. One "Handbreadth" equals three inches. And one "School Day" equals a hundred years! ... Sorry, ma'am, I couldn't help slipping that in there. (09 May 84)

• There are seven continents: Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, North America, South America, and Aunt Arctica.

• The largest dinosaur that ever lived was the Bronchitis. However, it soon became extinct. It coughed a lot.

[edit] Snoopy

• It was a dark and stormy night...

The opening line of the novel Snoopy is forever starting. A well-known quotation from Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

• Here's

*Joe Cool
*The World War I Flying Ace
*The world-famous
 *Scoutmaster
 *Skating Coach

• My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

• Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. *sigh!* There's so little hope for advancement.

• on why he doesn't chase rabbits: Some of us are born dogs, and some of us are born rabbits. When the chips are down, I'll have to admit that my sympathy lies with the rabbits. (15 Apr 61)

• I have the world's largest collection of anti-cat jokes!

• after his Beagle Scouts get into a bar brawl: ...that's when Harriet hit the blue jay in the face with an angel food cake!

• Snoopy asked the "Stupid Cat Next Door" to help remove a splinter from his paw: Well that's one way of doing it - he removed me from the splinter!

• Just what I needed - a fight with a fifty-pound cat over an old yellow glove! (Snoopy mistook the glove for his friend Woodstock.)

• on the "Stupid Cat Next Door": That stupid "kitten" weighs three hundred pounds!

• on Marbles: He wasn't very witty, but he was smart.

• arm-wrestling Lucy: Succumb, you dark-haired fiend!

• on Molly Volley: I've had distemper, and I've played mixed doubles...I'd rather have distemper.

• as "World-Famous Attorney": That's why you go to law school - so you know what the judge is calling you!

• Here's Joe Cool hanging around the student union eyeing chicks. Lucy storms past. Actually, we Joe Cools are scared to death of chicks...

• as "World-Famous Astronaut": I did it! I'm the first beagle on the moon! I beat the Russians...I beat everybody...I even beat that stupid cat who lives next door! (14 Mar 69)

• I remember last year about this time... it was two o'clock in the morning, and I was sound asleep... Suddenly, out of nowhere, this crazy guy with a sled appears right on my roof. He was okay, but those stupid reindeer kept stepping on my stomach!

[edit] As the World War I Flying Ace

• Curses, foiled again!

• oft-repeated line: Curse you, Red Baron!

• after a trip to the vet: They tortured me, but all I gave them was my name, rank and serial number! (19 Aug 66)

• (a football flies past:) Good grief - a zeppelin!! (it hits him on the head:) It was a cowardly attack, sir. A thousand men in a zeppelin hit me from behind!
• (singing) OVER THERE! OVER THERE!...PACK YOUR TROUBLES IN YOUR OLD KIT BAG!...IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY!...We flying aces are very sentimental...

• (On being asked what would happen if he were ever caught:) It happened once. I said I would never talk... but then they offered me this big marshmallow sundae...

[edit] As the "World Famous Novelist"

• "A Love Story" by Erich Beagle: "I love you," she said, and together they laughed. Then one day she said, "I hate you," and they cried. But not together. "What happened to the love that we said would never die?" she asked. "It died," he said. The first time he saw her she was playing tennis. The last time he saw her she was playing tennis. "Ours was a Love set," he said, "but we double faulted." "You always talked a better game than you played," she said.

• Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved our problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

• Why Dogs Are Superior to Cats: They just are, and that's all there is to it!

• Her love affair had ended. She didn't want to live. She threw herself in front of a Zamboni.

• (After Lucy tells him to write about something positive for a change:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a kiss rang out!

• (After Lucy tells him to write a political novel:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a vote rang out!

• (After Lucy tells him to write a Thanksgiving novel:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a turkey rang out!

• (After Lucy suggests he begin his story with "Once upon a time":) Once upon a time...It was a dark and stormy night.

• Once there were two mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum had closed, the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor. Before he knew it, he was lost. "Help!" he shouted to his friend. "Help me make it through the knight!"

• The Gift: It was the holiday season. She and her husband had decided to attend a performance of King Lear. It was their first night out together in months. During the second act one of the performers became ill. The manager of the theater walked onto the stage, and asked, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Her husband stood up, and shouted, "I have an honorary degree from Anderson College!" It was at that moment when she decided not to get him anything for Christmas.

• Travel Tips, "Arriving Home": When putting away your luggage after arriving home, always close the zippers so bugs can't crawl in.

• It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the mist a spooky figure appeared. How spooky was he? Spoooooooooky! (8 July 91)

• Her real name was Dorothy Fledermaus. But all her friends called her "Dee." Thus, she was frequently referred to as "Dee Fledermaus." (shakes his head, crumples his paper into a ball and thinks, "uh uh!")

• "You love hockey more than you love me!" she complained. "You love those hockey gloves and shinguards and skates and elbow pads more than you love me!" "That's not true!" he said. "I love you much more than I love my elbow pads."

• (After Lucy tells him to write an adventure story featuring a dashing hero:) He was a dark and stormy knight.

• Beauty Tips - How to Look Younger: Don't be born so soon.

[edit] Woodstock

• ||||||||||||||||||||||
• |,.."||,
•  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Note: He can't actually speak, thus his "lines" always appear this way.")

[edit] Linus van Pelt

• Thus endeth....

• to Sally: I'm not your Sweet Babboo! (09 Oct 78 and various other strips)

• I love mankind - it's people I can't stand!

• You can't bluff an old theologian!

• (on why he can't watch Lucy making a jack-o-lantern:) You didn't tell me you were going to kill it! (31 Oct 59)

• (in a snow fort:) I am king of all I survey! This is an impregnable fortress! No one can take it! I could defend this position from a hundred attackers! I have ammunition enough to fight the whole day! This fortress stands firm and unyielding! It is like the rock of Gibralter! [sic - please note this is how the word is spelled in the actual strip] It is like... (Lucy hits him from behind with a snowball) You'll notice that you had to use strategy though, didn't you?! (2 Jan 66)

• There is no problem so big that it can't be run away from.

• I know there is a lesson to be learned here somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

• There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

• Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life!

• (Linus found his missing blanket:) There was a mix-up in the kitchen. Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes!

• (on Lucy:) I keep hoping that someday they'll develop a crabbiness vaccine.

• (Lucy threatens to hit him for refusing to memorize his lines for the Christmas program:) Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous!

• In all this world, there is no heavier burden than a great potential!

• (on failing a test:) I falsed when I should have trued.

• (on World War II; the Stupid Cat Next Door:) That's no kitten - that's a thousand-pound gully cat!

• (after listening to Frieda moan about everyone shunning her for turning Snoopy in to the Head Beagle:) Of course, they won't! Anyone who would turn someone in to the Head Beagle doesn't deserve to be spoken to!

• How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's "see?"!

• Do chicken-birds ever build their nests on mountaintops?

• (on his blanket-hating grandmother:) She no sooner got in the house when she took my blanket away! She gave me a dollar to make up for it, but I'm gonna look awfully silly sucking my thumb and holding a dollar.

• "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. - from A Charlie Brown Christmas

• (agreeing with Lucy:) Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.

• (on suckers:) Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

• (on his grandmother, who quit smoking to get Linus to give up his blanket:) That gray-haired, foxy old rascal!

• (on Miss Othmar, his teacher:) I've never said I worship her. I just said I'm very fond of the ground on which she walks!

• Oh, Great Pumpkin, please don't let me down! Vindicate me before mine enemies! Deliver me from my adversaries! SHOW UP, STUPID!

• (disappointed that the Great Pumpkin didn't show up:) I was a victim of false doctrine.

• (on studying the letters of the Apostle Paul:) I must admit it makes me feel a little guilty. I always feel like I'm reading someone else's mail! (06 Nov 64)

• (on the New Math:) How can you solve "new math" problems with an "old math" mind?

[edit] Lucy van Pelt

• at the end of every session at her psychiatric booth: Five cents, please.

• Snoopy licked her face: AAUGH! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG! I'VE BEEN POISONED! GET SOME IODINE! GET SOME HOT WATER! GERMS! GERMS! GERMS!

• It's hard for a critical person to go to sleep if she isn't allowed a brief word of criticism!

• No matter how hard you try, you can't build a rainman.

• being chased by the other kids after purposely spoiling their games: I'm frustrated and inhibited, and no one understands me.

• to Charlie Brown: Don't let your team down by showing up! (16 Apr 63)

• on Schroeder: I think there must be a school someplace where musicians go to learn harmony, counterpoint and sarcasm!

• on Schroeder: You can't bluff a musician.

• Each generation must be able to blame the previous generation for all its problems. It doesn't solve anything, but it makes us all feel better.

• I keep wondering if Mom's planning to have more children. Lately she's been referring to me as "Volume One." (17 Feb 96)

• on autumn: See these leaves, Linus? They're flying south for the winter!

• in right field: This guy can't hit it! He swings like my grandmother! (a handbag is thrown at Lucy from behind and hits her in the head) Sorry, Gramma... it was just an expression... (17 July 82)

• Linus criticizes her for being crabby all the time: Can I help it if I was born with crabby genes?!

• to Schroeder: You fascinate me!

• Being crabby all day makes you hungry.

• Get out of my way! I feel Ultra-Crabby today!

• By the time I've grown up, we'll probably have a woman president. You know what that means, don't you? It means I won't get to be the first one. BOY, THAT MAKES ME MAD!! (29 March 84)

• threatening Linus: These five fingers: individually they're nothing, but when I curl them together like this into a single unit (making a fist), they form a weapon that is terrible to behold!

• to Charlie Brown, at her psychiatric booth, explaining why people take advantage of him by talking too much: It's your own fault! You're just too wishy-washy! People who talk too much deserve to be insulted! They deserve to have other people walk away from them! Talking too much is an unforgivable social sin - absolutely unforgivable! The only way to deal with people who talk too much is to let them know just how boring they really are. You can't waste your time with them, no, sir! Why should you sit and waste your valuable time while some bore talks on and on about nothing? Life is too short to waste it listening to some person who doesn't know when to shut up! Time is too valuable! Time is... Charlie Brown sighs

• I'll bet when you grow up and become a famous ball player, Charlie Brown, they'll name a candy bar after you. ... It'll probably be hard to unwrap and have chocolate that melts all over your fingers.

• on Snoopy: That stupid beagle couldn't find his way across the kitchen floor!

• when Charlie Brown asks her how she can be so consistently crabby: Never change a winning game!

• Lucy was dictating her letter to Santa Claus to Linus; Linus refused to write that Lucy had been "perfect" all year, and Lucy hit him: I have an opening for a new secretary... anyone care to apply?

• It's a scientific fact that girls are smarter than boys! And do you know who discovered it? WOMEN SCIENTISTS!

• The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!

• told Snoopy (as vulture) is on her snowman: ANY VULTURE CAUGHT SITTING ON MY SNOWMAN GETS CLOBBERED!!

• to Linus: Do you realize that people are coming up to me, and saying "your brother pats birds on the head"? Well, I want you to stop it! Do you hear me?! Stop it!!! bird trips her (30 May 67)

• on Rerun: A new baby brother?!! But I just got rid of the old one!!! (23 May 72)

• to Schroeder: What happens if you practice the piano for 20 years and then end up not being rich and famous?

• to Schroeder: If you really loved me you'd stop playing that piano and listen to me. (Schroeder plays louder.) I guess that's called answering without answering...

• when asked if she believes there is life on other planets: Absolutely not! If there were, they most certainly would have tried to contact me!

• What's wrong with a world where someone like Charlie Brown can get sick, and then not get any better? I NEED SOMEONE TO HIT!! (26 Jul 79)

• THIS YEAR LET'S TRY TO GET THE BALL OVER THE PLATE, YOU BLOCKHEAD! (20 Mar 94)

• (in her psychiatric booth, consoling Charlie Brown after accidentally re-hooking Linus on security blankets after he kicked his habit on his own): In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by people who "thought they were doing the right thing." Five cents, please.

[edit] Baseball Excuses

• I think there were toxic substances coming from my glove, and they made me dizzy. (24 May 81)
• The moons of Saturn got in my eyes.
• Did you see that fly ball? I don't want to be out there alone when it comes down.
• Watching your graceful movements on the pitcher's mound lulled me to sleep! (10 May 78)
• When the sun reflects off the bright yellow dandelions, I can't see the ball. (2 Jun 99)
• she waited for a grounder to stop rolling before she picked it up: It was having a good time, and I didn't want to disturb it.
• After kicking a football backwards over her own head: I'm too feminine for this game!
• After missing the ball and telling Charlie Brown:Sorry, I missed that one manager. I thought I had it, then I remember all those other balls I missed. The past got in my eyes.

[edit] Rerun van Pelt

• (his mother's lost three pounds by bicycling) And through sheer terror I've lost five! (21 Jan 74)

• Riding around all day on the back of your mom's bicycle gives you plenty of time to think...it gives you time to think about people and about life...and about what would happen if we ran into a tree! (22 Jan 74)

• I can't go to school...I've been suspended again for one day...another whole day! Years from now, you know what people are going to say about me? "He's one day dumber than he should be!" (30 Oct 97)

• I could run the whole world right here from under my bed! (27 Jan 98)

• Every day this big stupid German Shepherd comes running out and chases our bicycle! He doesn't quit until I throw my shoe at him. I'm running out of shoes!

• Rerun at bat for Charlie Brown's baseball team: Everyone's yelling and screaming. We must be winning the Stanley Cup.

• (Lucy is sitting on all three sofa cushions leaving Linus and Rerun to sit on the springs)
  (to Linus) Maybe someday you can explain her to me, okay?

• I don't think I should go to school anymore. Instead of getting smarter, I'm getting dumber every day. I figure in about one more month I'll bottom out. (30 Apr 97)

• (to his basketball, angrily tossing it into the closet after he tried to shoot a basket twice and missed both times): You can come out when you learn to behave! (30 March 97)

[edit] Schroeder

• after a fly ball hits Lucy, Snoopy, Linus, Violet, 5 and Pigpen in the head: I think you're right; six bonks is a new record. (22 May 83)

• The joy is in the playing.

• Lucy suggests that Schroeder buy her perfume for Beethoven's birthday: That's a good idea. I'll get you a bottle of "Eau de Jumprope"!

• Who painted rally stripes on my piano?!

• To Lucy, on why he didn't send her a valentine: Sending a valentine would have implied that I can stand the sight of you.

• Lucy suggests that they both go out for an ice cream sundae: That's a good idea. You go now, and have yours. After you get back, I'll go and have mine!

• sees Lucy and Snoopy brawling: Fighting under the mistletoe? How unfeminine...how unromantic...how gauche!

• Lucy asks if musicians make a lot of money: Who cares about money?! This is ART, you blockhead! This is great music I'm playing, and playing great music is an art! Do you hear me? An art! (pounding on piano) Art! Art! Art! Art! Art!"

• Lucy asks him what the answer to life is: BEETHOVEN! Beethoven is IT, clear and simple!! Do you understand?

• When Charlie Brown asks him how he's able to play such complicated pieces on his toy piano when the black keys are just painted on: [matter-of-factly] I practice a lot.

• when Lucy was crying over Charlie Brown in the hospital: It's interesting that you should cry over him when you're the one who always treated him so mean! And stop wiping your tears with my piano!

[edit] Peppermint Patty

• to Marcie: Stop calling me sir!

• No book on psychology could be any good if one can understand it!

• to Charlie Brown, flirtatiously: You're holding my hand, Chuck! You sly dog!

• on Snoopy: He's a good skater, but he's the funniest-looking kid I've ever seen! (10 Jan 69)

• I think all these D-minuses are polluting the atmosphere.

• Yes, ma'am, a report on the French Revolution. Two thousand words? Yes, ma'am. Please allow four to six weeks for delivery. (24 Sept 86)

• Who was the first Tudor king? Well, let me think... Is this for real, Ma'am? Or are we playing Trivia? (25 May 84)

• They can't do something to you if you don't know what it means. (when Marcie tells her that teacher might have to resort to "castigation" because Patty has not done her homework)

• Patty failed another test by answering every question wrong: I'm a chess player in a parchesi world.

• Subtraction? Oh, yes, ma'am, I can explain it. Subtraction is the awful feeling that you know less today than you did yesterday. (13 Nov 78)

• Here's my term paper, ma'am. Please judge it with mercy. Treat it as you would a newborn child. Which it is because I just wrote it this morning!

• Ma'am? I don't understand this first question... which ocean are we studying? Could you be more Pacific? (07 Sept 88)

• Check this out: a school for gifted children! I've never heard before of a school that gives you things.

• Don't hassle me with your sighs, Chuck!

• This is my report on Washington, D.C. "D.C." stands for Doctor. Dr. Washington was an opthalmologist. His best friend was named Bunker Hill. One day on the battlefield, Dr. Washington looked at Bunker Hill and said, "There's something wrong with the whites of your eyes!" As a reward for saving his friend's vision, the people voted to make Dr. Washington their coach.

• This is my report on Hamlet. A hamlet is a small village with a population of maybe a few hundred, and...

• Sometimes I think I tore all the ligaments in my head.

• I don't look so bad after all! That's always been my ambition... to not look so bad after all. (08 Aug 97)

• bowling a boy down the aisle after he insults her: Watch for you and me on TV, kid...the program is called "bowl a pupil"! (06 Sept 84)

• on Charlie Brown: I could strike him out on three straight pitches!

• Do me a favor, will you, ma'am? Call the roll again, and see if I'm here!

• after a surprisingly enjoyable book assignment: Thank you, ma'am, for forcing us to read it!

• after falling asleep in class: I'm awake! The answer is twelve!

• Marcie, has anyone ever told you that when you're mad, you look just like Billie Jean King?

• the first day of school, after Patty was held back a grade the previous year: Fasten your seat belt, ma'am! Here I come again! (04 Sept 84)

• usually said after she tries to confide in Charlie Brown and he doesn't tell her what she wants to hear: I hate talking to you, Chuck!

• on why she gets bad grades: Teachers don't like kids with big noses!

• reporting on a classical concert she attended: We went to the concert, and heard "Adagio for Strings" by Samuel The Barber.

• taking a test: True! ... False! ... And one good old-fashioned MAYBE!!!

[edit] Marcie

• to Peppermint Patty: You're weird, sir!

• Your optimism should be framed, Charles.

• trying to clean a golf ball: After I peeled the white cover off, I couldn't get the ball back in.

• on why she's taking violin lessons for the summer instead of going to camp: You can't play Brahms on a canoe paddle, sir.

• Do footballs mind being kicked, sir? Do you think it causes them to be traumatized? (12 Sept 82)

• her father is taking her to a Mighty Ducks hockey game: I think we're going to see the Mighty Flamingos. (17 Nov 93)

• after the hockey game: I got to meet the guy who drives the Zucchini. (27 Sept 93)

• on the Super Bowl: We'll never make it to the Splendid Bowl, sir.

• on the Super Bowl: Sometimes I get a little curious ... did anybody make a hole-in-one?

• after admiring Charlie Brown at his events: I admire your élan, Charles.

[edit] Frieda

• People expect more of you when you have naturally curly hair!

• Lucy tells her that to hang around Schroeder, she has to like Beethoven: All right, but I'll just have a small glass...

• People hate cats. People hate people who own cats. And people especially hate people with naturally curly hair who own cats.

• What's the good of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?

• Snoopy dresses up in a Sherlock Holmes outfit when she forces him to go rabbit-hunting: Sometimes I think he's laughing at me.

• Charlie Brown yells at her for missing a fly ball: How can I play baseball when I'm worried about foreign policy? (14 April 61)

• You're not pitching right, Charlie Brown. Whenever the other team hits the ball to us, and we try to catch it, the ball stings our hands! Try to pitch so that the ball won't sting our hands.

• After Charlie Brown angrily discovered she reported his dog to the Head Beagle: It was his own fault! He never wanted to go rabbit chasing with me!

• Berating Snoopy for his lack of exercise: You're flabby! If a crisis ever occurred, your muscles would never respond!

• After everyone in the neighborhood turns their back on her for reporting Snoopy to the Head Beagle: Everyone's mad at me! No one will speak to me. (After Linus replies, "Of course they won't! Anyone who would turn someone in to the Head Beagle doesn't deserve to be spoken to!") I didn't know what I was doing! I was upset! (To which Linus answers, "Don't talk to me, it's too late now!")

• Once more antagonizing Snoopy about being the only animal in the neighborhood: You're so smug! You think you've got it made, don't you? You think you're king because you're the only animal around here! Well, do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get a cat!

• After learning she was going to be the inn-keeper's wife in the Christmas play: Do inn-keeper's wives have naturally curly hair?

[edit] Pig-Pen

• I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of countless ages...who am I to disturb history? (18 Sep 55)

• You know what I am? I'm a dust magnet! (25 Nov 59)

• explaining why the teacher doesn't recognise him: The janitor keeps sweeping me out!

• The world needs dirty people. Otherwise the clean people would take over!

• after Charlie Brown opines that Pig-Pen may be carrying the dust of past civilizations on him: Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it?

• cast as the innkeeper in the Christmas play: In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a neat inn. - from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

• after Violet chides him for being dirty and calls him a "germ carrier": Even germs get tired of walking every now and then!

[edit] Violet Gray

• My Dad can _______ better than your Dad.

• I'm in business...these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53)

• to Patty: You an' I have a lot in common...we both dislike the same things about Charlie Brown! (31 Aug 53)

• after she and Patty tear into Charlie Brown: You know, it's a strange thing about Charlie Brown...you almost never see him laugh. (4 Dec 59)

• I'll be glad when I can grow up and move out of this neighborhood. I need to see new places, and meet new people. Everyone around here bores me.

• You know what I see when I look at you, Charlie Brown? I see failure! I see failure written all over your face!

[edit] Patty

• Violet and Patty say it : *Good Ol' Wishy-washy Charlie Brown!

• Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. (hits Charlie Brown) That's what little girls are made of. (3 Oct 50)

• It's a lot more fun not inviting people than it is inviting them! (14 Oct 52)

• to Lucy: You'll always be a crabby little girl! You were born crabby and you're going to stay crabby! Don't think you're going to change because you're not! (16 May 64)

[edit] Shermy

• Well! Here comes ol' Charlie Brown! Good ol' Charlie Brown...yes, sir! Good ol' Charlie Brown...how I hate him! (2 Oct 50 - the very first Peanuts strip)

• telling Charlie Brown he's quitting the baseball team: I'm the kind who needs to win now and then. With you it's different. I think you get sort of a neurotic pleasure out of losing all the time.

• Every Christmas it's the same - I always end up playing a shepherd. (A Charlie Brown Christmas)

[edit] Eudora

• on going to camp: I will if my parents chain me up, put me in a box and throw me on the bus.

• Saturday's the only day I never get anything wrong.

• on Orientation at camp: If they try to ship us to the Orient, forget it!

• to teacher: Our family just moved here from out of state. (...) No, ma'am...I don't know which state. I don't even know where I am now!

[edit] Lydia

• Linus is two months older: Aren't you kind of old for me? (9 Jun 86)
• to Linus: You like mint chocolate chip? I'm surprised...most older people like vanilla! Linus fumes. (13 Jun 86)
• Today my name is [insert flowery-sounding or unusual female name here, such as: Melissa, Anna, Olivia, etc.].
• During Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales (2002), she announces: Today, my name is Jezebel. Linus then tells her the story of the Biblical Jezebel's grisly death. She responds: Today, my name is Susan.
• to Linus: I can't decide if I like you or not. You have funny-looking hair. (Linus is called on by the teacher and his hair suddenly stands on end) Especially when the teacher calls on you.

[edit] Spike

• The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come to order...

• after Peppermint Patty loses a golf game: Perhaps you'd like to invest in some choice real estate near Needles? My card!

• on selling 'oceanview property' in Needles: I figured coyotes can see a long way.

• (puts hat on left side of cactus) Sometimes I hang my hat here,

(puts hat on right side of cactus) And sometimes I hang my hat over here.

(puts hat back on) Who said desert life is boring?

[edit] Dialogue

[edit] 1950s Strips

• Charlie Brown: Sixty-three runs in the very first inning!
  Schroeder: There goes our shutout! (15 Aug 52)

• Lucy's first "football trick". Charlie Brown runs up to kick the football that Lucy is holding, but at the last second Lucy pulls it away and he lands on the ground with a WHOMP!
  Lucy: I was afraid your shoes might be dirty, Charlie Brown. I don't want anyone with dirty shoes kicking my new football.
  Charlie Brown: Don't ever do that again! Do you want to kill me?! This time hold it tight! HERE WE GO!
  Charlie Brown runs to kick the football again. This time Lucy holds the football so tight that Charlie Brown trips right over it and falls on his back, failing to kick it.
  Lucy: I held it real tight, Charlie Brown...
  Charlie Brown: I'm not going to get up... I'm going to lie here for the rest of the day. (16 Nov 52)

• Lucy: Can you take a little friendly criticism, Charlie Brown?
  Charlie Brown: Why, of course. I'm not above that sort of thing at all; a little friendly criticism can always be helpful to a person. What is it you wanted to say?
  Lucy: You're kind of stupid. (17 May 55)

• Linus is walking along when it begins to snow. He becomes alarmed and runs hysterically to Charlie Brown.
  Linus: IT'S HAPPENING, CHARLIE BROWN! IT'S HAPPENING JUST LIKE THEY SAID IT WOULD!!
  Charlie Brown: Of course, it's happening. It's snowing. What else did you expect this time of year?
  Linus: Snowing? Good grief... I thought it was the fallout! (05 Jan 58) 1

• Schroeder: to Lucy: I wouldn't marry you unless you were the last girl on earth!
  Lucy: Did you say "if" or "unless"?
  Schroeder: I admit I said "unless"...
  Lucy: HOPE!!! (18 July 59)

• Charlie Brown: Life is just too much for me. I've been confused right from the day I was born. I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... we're not really prepared.
  Linus: What did you want... a chance to warm up first? (09 Sept 59)

• Lucy: Charlie Brown, I think you should resolve to be perfect during the coming year.
  Charlie Brown: Perfect? Good grief, nobody's perfect! What do you expect of me?
  Lucy: I think you can be if you try... I really do!
  Charlie Brown: All right, Lucy, if you have that much faith in me, I'll try! I hereby resolve to be perfect during the next year!
  Lucy: YOU? PERFECT?! HA! HA! HA! HA! (27 Dec 59)

[edit] 1960s Strips

• Violet: [to Charlie Brown] ..AND I DON'T CARE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?
  Linus: She really hurt your feelings, didn't she, Charlie Brown? I hope she didn't take all the life out of you.
  Charlie Brown: No, not completely... but you can number me among the walking wounded! (30 Apr 61)

• Charlie Brown: Is Linus back from lunch yet?
  Schroeder: Yes, he's back, and Shermy and Snoopy and Violet are back too...but now Patty and Lucy and Freida have gone home for supper. sigh This has been a long first inning! (5 Apr 63)

• Charlie Brown: Joe Shlabotnik? Really? You have a Joe Shlabotnik? You have a Joe Shlabotnik bubble gum card? He's my favorite player! I've been trying to get him on a bubble gum card for five years! You wanna trade? Here... I'll give you Whitey Ford, Mickey Mantle, Robin Roberts, Luis Aparicio, Bill Monbouquette, Dick Stuart and Juan Pizarro!
  Lucy: No, I don't think so...
  Charlie Brown: How about Nellie Fox, Dick Donovan, Willie Kirkland, Frank Lary, Al Kaline, Orlando Pena, Jerry Lumpe, Camilo Pascual, Harmon Killebrew, Bob Turley and Albie Pearson?
  Lucy: No, I don't want to trade. I think Joe Shlabotnik is kind of cute.
  Charlie Brown: [increasingly desperate] I'll give you Tom Cheney, Chuck Cottier, Willie Mays, Orlando Cepeda, Maury Wills, Sandy Koufax, Frank Robinson, Bob Purkey, Bill Mazeroski, Harvey Haddix, Warren Spahn, Hank Aaron, Tony Gonzales, Art Mahaffey, Roger Craig, Duke Snider, Don Nottebart, Al Spangler, Curt Simmons, Stan Musial, Ernie Banks and Larry Jackson!
  Lucy: No, I don't think so...
  Charlie Brown: For five years I've been trying to get a Joe Shlabotnik! My favorite baseball player, and I can't get him on a bubble gum card... Five years! My favorite player... [walks away, very depressed]
  Lucy: [examines card for a few seconds] He's not as cute as I thought he was! [tosses card into the trash] (18 Aug 63)

• 5: He's following us again.
  Lucy: GO ON HOME!
  Sally: STOP FOLLOWING US!!
  5: We don't want any little kids tagging after us! Go on home!
  Sally: You heard us! Go on home! We don't like little kids! Stop following us!
  Lucy and 5: YEAH! STOP FOLLOWING US, LITTLE KID!
  [The "little kid" to which Lucy, 5, and Sally refer is not shown until the last panel, when it is revealed to be Charlie Brown.]
  Charlie Brown: Actually, I'm bigger than any of them... what they're referring to is my emotional immaturity! (06 Sept 64)

• Charlie Brown: Shovel your walk?
  Violet: YOU?
  Charlie Brown: I never know how to answer those one-word questions... (15 Dec 66)

• Snoopy: If you get chomped by one of us piranha, baby, you've had it!
  Lucy: I hear there's a piranha swimming around in the neighborhood...BY GOLLY, THAT PIRANHA BETTER NOT TRY TO CHOMP ME! ANY PIRANHA TRIES TO CHOMP ME, I'LL POUND HIM!!
  Snoopy: There's nobody around here but us beagles! (25/26 Mar 67)

[edit] 1970s Strips

• Peppermint Patty: Before we go, kid, I want to ask you something. How come you're always calling me "Sir" when I keep asking you not to, huh? Don't you realize how annoying that can be?
  Marcie: No, ma'am! (07 Aug 71)

• Sally: SCHOOL STARTS IN THREE WEEKS!! PANIC IN THE STREETS!
  Charlie Brown: ...panic in the streets? (18 Aug 71)

• Charlie Brown: Why would the library ban Miss Helen Sweetstory's book?
  Linus: I can't believe it. I just can't believe it!
  Charlie Brown: Maybe there are some things in her book that we don't understand.
  Sally: In that case, they should also ban my Math book! (24 Oct 72)

• Sally: I'll kick the ball to you, and you come running down the field, and I'll try to hug you.
  Linus: Tackle.
  Sally: Hug.
  Linus: Tackle.
  Sally: Hug.
  Linus: (walking away) Forget it!
  Sally: (kicks football in frustration) Stupid game! (20 Jan 73)

• Peppermint Patty: Marcie, I'm short a player. I need you out in right field.
  Marcie: I don't know anything about baseball, sir.
  Peppermint Patty: All you have to do is stand out there. Please?
  Marcie: What if I get put in the penalty box?
  Peppermint Patty: There's no penalty box in baseball. Now, please get out there.
  Marcie: I forgot to ask if we're playing nine holes or eighteen. (26 July 73)

• (Charlie Brown's ball team is the visiting team against Peppermint Patty's team. During practice, Charlie hits Lucy a fly ball, but it lands behind her.)
  Charlie Brown: Good grief, Lucy, you're going to have to do better than that!
  Lucy: What did you expect? I'm suffering from jet-lag! (07 April 74)

• Lucy: Hey, banana nose! I never knew you had an older brother!
  Snoopy: Do I bite her on the leg now, or do I wait until Spike gets here, and let him bite her? (5 Aug 75)

• Marcie: How many skating tests are there, sir?
  Peppermint Patty: Eight, Marcie, and they get harder and harder. Sometimes I think the only thing that keeps me going is the encouraging words of my coach...
  Snoopy: Growl, snarl, snap, growf, bark, woof! (4 Jan 78)

• Snoopy: (losing at tennis) AAUGH!! This game drives me crazy!
  Charlie Brown: Have you ever considered switching to a metal racket?
  Snoopy: NEVER! A metal racket hurts when you bite it!

[edit] 1980s Strips

• Snoopy: Psst! Wake up, it's almost noon...the early bird gets the worm.
  Woodstock: |||||||
  Snoopy: That's true...you can get pizza until midnight! (22 Jan 80)

• Lucy: Here we go, Charlie Brown... I'll hold the ball, and you come running up and kick it.
  Charlie Brown: What you really mean is, you'll pull the ball away, and I'll land on my back and kill myself! Well, I have news for you... Never again! Forget it!
  Lucy: Wait!
  Charlie Brown: (walking away) I said, forget it!! I'm just glad you're the only person in the world who thinks I'm dumb enough to fall for that trick again.
  (Charlie Brown then comes across Snoopy, Woodstock, Sally, Peppermint Patty and Marcie all grinning wickedly and holding footballs for him to run up and kick.) (16 Oct 83)

• Peppermint Patty: I'd like to ask the teacher a question, but I'm afraid she'll think it's dumb.
  Marcie: They say the only dumb question is the one that you don't ask.
  Peppermint Patty: Ma'am? Is it all right if we turn in our book reports a year late?
  Marcie: They were wrong! (02 Jan 84)

• Peppermint Patty: Let me borrow your ruler, Marcie.
  Marcie: As soon as you give my pen back.
  Peppermint Patty: If I give your pen back, I won't have any use for the ruler.
  Marcie: Sure, you need my pen to draw lines with my ruler on the ten sheets of paper you borrowed from me! (angrily begins gathering her school supplies) Here, why don't you take my eraser, my notebooks, my colored pencils, my comb, my lunch... (throws all of her school supplies at Patty) TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE!!!
  Peppermint Patty: (buried in Marcie's school supplies) Do we have time for a garage sale, ma'am? (08 Jan 84)

• Peppermint Patty: Everyone had to write an essay on what we did during Christmas vacation. When I got mine back, the teacher had given me a "D minus"...well, I'm used to that, right, Chuck? Right! Now guess what...all those essays went into a city essay contest, and I won! Explain that, Chuck!
  Snoopy: Never listen to the reviewers. (9 Jan 85)

• Peppermint Patty: School starts next week. I hope I get better grades this year. I hope I'll be the prettiest and smartest girl in the whole class.
  Marcie: "Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."
  Peppermint Patty: When we go to college, Marcie, I'm not going to room with you. (27 Aug 86)

• Peppermint Patty: D-minus! Good grief! I got a D-minus in every subject! And look what she wrote on the back... she said I'm not very cute! My dad thinks I'm cute! Every day when I was little, he'd say how cute I was. What does she mean, I'm not cute?! Just because I've got a big nose and mousy-blah hair, doesn't mean I'm not cute!
  Marcie: She says your attention span is not very acute.
  Peppermint Patty: This is going to be a long summer.
  Marcie: You're weird, sir! (05 June 87)

• Lucy: Why can't you and your dog do some things together? Go out and chase some rabbits.
  Charlie Brown: I remember we tried that once...
  Snoopy: A rabbit chased us for five miles! (25 Jan 88)

• Sally: Well, I learned a lot in school today. I learned all about transportation.
  Charlie Brown: What did you learn?
  Sally: If you miss the bus, you walk! (31 May 88)

[edit] 1990s Strips

• Marcie: While you were asleep, sir, the world came to an end! You and I are the only people left alive!! Volcanoes were erupting! Icebergs were melting! Everything is gone!
  Peppermint Patty: Then why is the playground full of kids?
  Marcie: Sorry, sir...when I saw you got an "A" on that paper, I thought the world had come to an end... (10 Jun 90)

• Peggy Jean: Pretty girls are human, too.
  Charlie Brown: You are? (25 Jul 90)

• Charlie Brown: (on the pitcher's mound, quoting from the Song of Solomon) "For lo, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone... the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land."
  Lucy: HURRY UP, AND PITCH, YOU BLOCKHEAD!
  Charlie Brown: (rolling his eyes in dismay) I don't think that was a turtledove... (27 Apr 92)

• Linus: On Halloween night, the "Great Pumpkin" rises out of the pumpkin patch, and...
  Rerun: You're just trying to mess with my mind, aren't you? (28 Oct 96)

• Charlie Brown: I've come to offer you a free dog; his name is "Olaf".
  Marcie: Does he bite?
  Charlie Brown: Only if attacked by a pizza... (14 Jun 97)

• Lucy: Having an older sister is like having a compass to guide you through life.
  Rerun (to Linus): Is that true?
  Linus (under blanket): I'm not here. (10 Jul 97)

• Peppermint Patty: Quick, Marcie, I need a pencil and some paper. And I need an eraser, a pen and a ruler.
  Marcie: (to the teacher) No, Ma'am... I'm her caddie. (18 Sept 97)

• Franklin: I never got around to reading the book we were supposed to read during Christmas vacation.
  Marcie: I started to read it, but I couldn't understand it...
  Peppermint Patty: What book? (4 Jan 99)

[edit] Unsourced

• Charlie Brown: A BABY SISTER?! (Runs past Lucy and Linus) I'M A FATHER! I MEAN MY DAD'S A FATHER! I'M A BROTHER! I HAVE A NEW BABY SISTER! I'M A BROTHER!
  Linus: You didn't act like that when I was born.

• Linus: That's the first time I've ever seen a whirlydog!
  Lucy: Not whirlydog; whirlyBIRD!
  (Snoopy flies past them, using his ears as helicopter blades)
  Linus: I think if I'd have MEANT 'whirlybird', I would have SAID 'whirlybird'.

• Lucy: (swings at the baseball and hits it - hard) OOOOOOO! MY HANDS!!! THAT STUNG! (walks over to Charlie Brown) Kiss my hands, manager... they hurt.
  Charlie Brown: If Joe Garagiola sees this, I'll never live it down...

• Charlie Brown: Good grief, my center-fielder is facing the wrong way! (to Lucy) Hey, the ball game is this way!
  Lucy: I can't face that way; the sun shines in my eyes. I have very sensitive and beautiful eyes.
  Charlie Brown: Maybe you'd like to have us move the whole ball field around in front of you?
  Lucy: That's a good idea, Charlie Brown. You do that. I'll stay right here.
  Charlie Brown: I can't stand it... I just can't stand it...

• Charlie Brown: How much do you think [Linus' blanket] is worth?
  Linus: Were this blanket from the finest silks of Persia made, it would no more priceless be!
  Charlie Brown: (Rolling eyes) How pompous can you get?

• Lucy: (To Schroeder) Look me in the eyes, tell me you love me and give me a big hug!
  (Schroeder ignores her.)
  Lucy: LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY! I'M GONNA BE CRABBY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!

• Lucy: Why don't you go in the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream?
  Linus: What would you do if I told you to go get it yourself?
  Lucy: I'd pound you until the sun went down, and then I'd pound you until the sun came up, and then I'd pound you until the sun went down again.
  Linus: Chocolate or vanilla?

• Charlie Brown: Shovel your walk?
  Patty: For money?
  Charlie Brown: Yes, I don't have any use for beads!
  Patty slams the door in his face
  Charlie Brown: I guess a good businessman can't afford to be sarcastic. (18 Jan 66)

• Lucy: Beethoven's birthday is next week. What are you going to get me?
  Schroeder: I'm not going to get you anything! And you know why? Because you don't care anything about Beethoven! You never have! You don't care that he suffered! You don't care that his stomach hurt and that he couldn't hear! You never cared that the Countess turned him down, or that Therese married the Baron instead of him, or that Lobkowitz stopped his annuity!!!! [Storms away]
  Lucy: If the Countess hadn't turned him down, would you buy me something?

• Lucy : Look at it this way, Charlie Brown: we learn more from losing than we do from winning. [In the movie A Boy Named Charlie Brown, this line is delivered by Linus.]
  Charlie Brown: THAT MAKES ME THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!

• Lucy: At the psychiatric booth A patient person is a mature person, someone who doesn't demand everything now!
  Charlie Brown: That's good to know, because I can't pay you until tomorrow.
  Lucy: TOMORROW?!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

• Peppermint Patty: (offering Woodstock seed) Pardon my fingers, as they say...
  Woodstock: *bleah!* (walks off)
  Peppermint Patty: MY HANDS ARE CLEAN YOU STUPID BIRD!!

• Lucy: (to Charlie Brown) You don't think my brother and I get along very well, do you? Well, you just wait. After we've grown, we'll be real close!
  Charlie Brown: What does she mean by "close"?
  Linus: We may both live on the same continent!

• Charlie Brown: This is the time of year when all the big baseball trades are made. I'm going to try to improve our team with a few shrewd trades.
  Lucy: That's a great idea, Charlie Brown. Why don't you trade yourself?

• Lucy: Rachel Carson says that when the oceans were being formed, it rained day and night for centuries.
  Linus: It must have been very difficult to plan picnics!

• Charlie Brown (as mascot for Peppermint Patty's team): Think pelican...be pelican.
  Woodstock: |||||?
  Charlie Brown: ||||||!

• Snoopy: (typing a letter) "Dear Sweetheart..."
  Lucy: That's too impersonal. I think you should call her something more endearing.
  Snoopy: (typing) "Dear Angel Food Cake with Seven Minute Frosting..."

• Lucy: I wonder if I wouldn't be more popular if I had a new name. The wrong name can be a real hindrance to a person's function in society. I think a name that is consistent with a person's personality is important. I wonder what would be a good name for me?
  Linus: How about "Supermouth"?
  Later, as Linus is lying on the ground dazed after being hit by Lucy:
  Linus: I've got to stop this business of talking without thinking.

• Sally: I'm drawing a cow, but I'm having problems with the hoofseses.
  Charlie Brown: Not "hoofseses," "hooves."
  Sally: What?
  Charlie Brown: Hooves, as in "behooves".
  Sally: Bees don't have hooves! Bees have feet! Who you tryin' to kid?!

• After an argument with Lucy, Linus builds a snowman that looks just like her.
  Lucy: Ha! I know what you're up to! That's supposed to be me, isn't it? And I'll bet you're going to kick it, aren't you? You're going to get great satisfaction out of building a snowman that looks just like me, just so you can stand there and kick it!
  Linus: On the contrary! That would be crude. I'm going to stand here and watch it slowly melt away!

• Lucy: Here, I brought you a piece of toast.
  Linus: Well, thank you.
  Lucy: (Holding the toast just out of Linus' reach) "Thank you, dear sister."
  Linus: Thank you, dear sister.
  Lucy: "Thank you, dear sister... greatest of all sisters!"
  Linus: Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters!
  Lucy: "Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters, without whom I'd never survive!"
  Linus: Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters, without whom I'd never survive!
  Lucy: You're very welcome.
  Linus: How can I eat when I feel nauseated?

• Snoopy: ...we're the first to ever climb this peak, and then sit here eating angel food cake with seven minute frosting!
  Conrad: |||||?
  Snoopy: No, Conrad, I don't want your autograph!

• Linus: Happiness lies in our destiny like a cloudless sky before the storms of tomorrow destroy the dreams of yesterday and last week!
  Charlie Brown: I think that blanket is doing something to you!

• Lucy: What would you do if I pushed your snowman over?
  Linus: Nothing... What could I do? You're bigger and stronger than I am... You're older... You can run faster... I really couldn't do anything to stop you. I realize full well that I am at your mercy where things of this sort are concerned. All I can do is simply hope that you will choose not to do so.
  (Lucy walks away without touching the snowman.)
  Linus: Little by little I'm becoming an expert at the soft answer.

• Lucy: I figured it out, Charlie Brown. If you stay depressed for two more days, you'll make it into the Book of World Records.
  Charlie Brown: WOW! That's great!
  Lucy: You just blew it.

• Schroeder: Is your arm hurting you, Charlie Brown?
  Charlie Brown:It's killing me, but I've got to keep pitching!...I'd rather have my arm fall off than be called a quitter!
  Schroeder: I understand...that's the way Beethoven always used to feel.
  Charlie Brown: How does Beethoven always get into these conversations?

• Peppermint Patty: All I ever get are D-minuses!
  Marcie: It's like living on a fixed income, sir.

• Linus: Why are you always so anxious to criticize me?
  Lucy: I just think I have a knack for seeing other people's faults.
  Linus: What about your own faults?
  Lucy: I have a knack for overlooking them.

• Lucy: Beethoven... HA! Everyone talks about how great Beethoven was. Beethoven wasn't so great!
  Schroeder: What do you mean, Beethoven wasn't so great?
  Lucy: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen Beethoven's picture on a bubble gum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on a bubble gum card? THAT'S what I mean when I say Beethoven wasn't so great!
  (Schroder walks away dismayed)
  Lucy: This has been a good day!

• Marcie: Have you ever been deprogrammed, sir?...Apparently it's alright to believe in Santa Claus, but not to believe in the "Great Grape".
  Peppermint Patty: I think that's "Pumpkin", Marcie.

• Frieda: If I were a dog, I'd be out chasing rabbits on such a nice day.
  Snoopy: If it's such a nice day, why spoil it for the rabbits?

• Frieda: Snow! What a beautiful sight...all of nature is asleep under a blanket of snow!
  Snoopy (half-buried on top of his doghouse): That's true!

• Peppermint Patty: As long as we're sitting at the same desk, we might as well be a team. If I know an answer and you don't, I'll tell you what it is. And if you know an answer and I don't, you tell me what it is.
  Charlie Brown: What happens if neither of us knows the answer?
  Peppermint Patty: We'll punt!

• Linus(watching a nighttime snowstorm): WOW!
  Lucy: What, is it snowing?
  Linus: I'll say!...It's pitch white outside!

• Lucy was holding Charlie Brown's kite but didn't let go of it when Charlie Brown told her to, and the kite ripped.
  Charlie Brown: AAUGH!!! MY KITE! MY BEAUTIFUL KITE! You didn't let go! I told you to let go, and you didn't let go!
  Lucy: You didn't say, "Please."

• Lucy: We'll vote to see who gets the last cookie. I vote for me, so I get it!
  Rerun: Voter Fraud!

• Charlie Brown: Next year I'm going to be a changed person!
  Lucy: That's a laugh, Charlie Brown.
  Charlie Brown: I mean it! I'm going to be strong and firm.
  Lucy: Forget it. You'll always be wishy-washy.
  Charlie Brown: Why can't I change just a little bit? I'll be wishy one day and washy the next!

• Charlie Brown: Pig-Pen, I don't understand you. It's only the first inning of our first game, and you're already covered in dirt!
  Pig-Pen: This isn't ALL from today. Some of it's left over from last year!

• Pig-Pen has just hit an Inside-The-Park Home Run..
  Charlie Brown: Pig-Pen slides into home! He's safe!! He's getting up! He's dusting himself off!
  Lucy: Why?

• Sally: (raising a sleeping Snoopy on his doghouse) Hey, Wake up.. I'm doing a report on "Our Animal Friends". Can you give me any advice?
  Snoopy: (unmoving) Sure. Don't mention my name.

• Sally: (watching the news on TV) That must be a strange country. Every time they have an election, violins break out.
  Charlie Brown: Violence breaks out.
  Sally: Whatever.

• Linus is drawing a picture of Lucy but hasn't yet drawn in her mouth.
  Lucy: What's this?
  Linus: This is a project for school. We're supposed to draw someone in our family.
  Lucy: I notice you haven't put in the mouth yet.
  Linus: (Nervously) Oh, well... there's no real hurry, it doesn't have to be finished today. In fact, I was just thinking of quitting.
  Lucy: Put in the mouth. I want to watch you.
  Linus: No, I think I'll wait... it's wrong to rush a work of art...
  Lucy: (Menacingly) Put in the mouth!
  Linus draws Lucy's mouth as wide-open and shouting. Lucy hits him, and Linus, his paper and pencil all go flying off.
  Linus: It's hard to draw well when your hand is shaking!

• Linus is poised to throw a snowball at Snoopy when he reads the placard Snoopy happens to be carrying.. The placard says: "IF YOU THROW THAT SNOWBALL AT ME, I'LL HAVE THE HUMANE SOCIETY ON YOU SO FAST IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SWIM!"
  Linus lowers his arm and Snoopy walks off still carrying the placard
  Linus: Whoever paints those signs for him, does a good job!

• Charlie Brown: When the catcher comes up to the mound, it's usually a very dramatic moment...
  Schroder: Beethoven used to have a shirt with blue buttons that he liked very much. walks away
  Charlie Brown: ...but not always.

• [Snoopy has just struck out by failing to even swing when the ball was pitched. He makes his way back to the players' bench nonchalantly and sits beside Charlie Brown, who is getting visibly angrier by the second.]
  Charlie Brown: YOU DIDN'T EVEN SWING!! THAT'S GONNA COST YOU HALF YOUR SUPPER TONIGHT!!!!
  [Snoopy appears stunned, then looks as though he is about to cry, but finally rests his head against Charlie Brown's arm, an innocent grin on his face.]
  Charlie Brown: Rats! Why can't I be rough and tough and mean, like all the other managers?

• Lucy: (To Linus, who is about to throw a snowball at her) Life is full of choices! You may choose, if you so wish, to throw that snowball at me. You may also choose, if you so wish, not to throw that snowball at me. Now, if you choose to throw that snowball at me, I will pound you right into the ground! But if you choose not to throw that snowball at me, your head will be spared.
  Linus: (Tosses the snowball onto the ground) Life is full of choices, but you never get any!

[edit] TV Specials and Movies

[edit] A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

• Linus (after Charlie Brown tells Linus about Christmas becoming depressing and too commercial): Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know that can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.
• Lucy (to Linus): You think you're so smart with that blanket. What are you gonna do with it when you grow up?

Linus: Maybe I'll make it into a sportcoat.

• Lucy: Do you think you have pantophobia?

Charlie Brown: What's pantophobia?

Lucy: The fear of everything.

Charlie Brown: THAT'S IT!!! (Lucy flies off her seat)

• Sally: (dictating her letter to Santa Claus to Charlie Brown) "Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have been especially good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want."

Charlie Brown: Oh, brother!

Sally: "Please note the size and colour of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself. Just send money. How about tens and twenties?"

Charlie Brown: Tens and twenties?!! Ohhhh, even my baby sister! (runs off, dismayed)

Sally: All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

• Pig-Pen (to Frieda, after hearing Charlie Brown's flattering assessment of his appearance): Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it?

Frieda: You're an absolute mess. Just look at yourself. (hands him a mirror)

Pig-Pen (looks into the mirror and smiles): On the contrary, I didn't think I looked THAT good.

• Lucy (with Snoopy behind her, mimicking her): No, no, no! Listen, all of you! You've got to take direction, you've got to have discipline, you've got to have respect for your director! (sees Snoopy and turns around) I oughta slug you! (swings at him and gets slurped) Ugh! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!

Snoopy: Bleah!

• Lucy (to Linus, after he asks for one good reason to memorize his part fast): I'll give you five good reasons! (individually clenches her fingers and thumb into a fist) One, two, three, four, FIVE! (shows him her fist)

Linus (shakes his head up and down): Those are good reasons. Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous.

• Charlie Brown: There's no time for foolishness. We've got to get on with our play!

Lucy: That's right! What about my part? What about the Christmas Queen, hmm? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste? You do think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown? (no response) You didn't answer right away! You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up! (storms away) I know when I've been insulted! I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED!

Charlie Brown: Good grief.

• Snoopy: (howling at Charlie Brown's entrance, stopping when Charlie Brown sees him)

Charlie Brown (sarcastically): Man's best friend.

• Linus (after reciting a Bible passage about the angels witnessing to shepherds of Jesus' birth): "That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

[edit] Charlie Brown's All Stars (1966)

• Everyone: OH, YOU BLOCKHEAD!!! (crying) WE LOST THE GAME ALL BECAUSE OF CHARLIE BROWN!
  Charlie Brown: (lying on the ground after sliding) Was I out?
  Lucy: OUT?!! Why, you blockhead! You didn't even get HALFWAY HOME!!!!

[edit] Why, Charlie Brown, Why? (1990)

• Lucy: (to Linus, about Janice) You touched her, and now you're giving me a glass of milk? You could catch leukemia from her and give it to me!

• Linus: (screaming at the bully who has just knocked off Janice's cap and is teasing her because she has gone bald because of her chemotherapy) Janice has leukemia, CEMENTHEAD! That's CANCER! Haven't you ever heard of CANCER?! She's been in the hospital and she's had chemotherapy to help her get better, and it makes her hair fall out! Does that make you happy?!! How would you like to go through what she's gone through? THINK about it! Or don't you ever think about ANYTHING??

[edit] External links

• Wikibooks has an book called Annotations of The Complete Peanuts
• The final Peanuts Comic strips
• "Sartre & Peanuts" by Nathan Radke at Philosophy Now Issue 44 (January/February 2004)

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[edit] References

• The Complete Peanuts series. (1950-1960)
• Peanuts: A Golden Celebration (selections from 1950-1999)
• The Art of Peanuts (various early strips mainly from the 1950s)
• Peanuts Treasury (selections from 1959-1967)
• You're The Guest Of Honor, Charlie Brown (selections from 1972 and 1973)
• Duck, Here Comes Another Day! (selections from 1974-1976)
• You're Weird, Sir! (selections from 1981-1982)
• Sarcasm Does Not Become You, Ma'am (selections from 1982 and 1983)
• I'm Not Your Sweet Babboo! (selections from 1983)
• The Way Of The Fussbudget Is Not Easy (selections from 1984)
• Dogs Don't Eat Dessert (1985)
• It's a Big World, Charlie Brown! (1997)
• The Peanuts Calendar 2006 (printed 2005, with strips from 1995)