Ruthless People is a 1986 black comedy film written by Dale Launer, starring Danny DeVito, Bette Midler, Judge Reinhold and Helen Slater. It also features Bill Pullman as a supporting role in his film debut.
- Oh my God! I've been kidnapped by Huey and Dewey!
- So, if I look like his mother and you look like his father, this is what our son would look like. Pretty strong argument for birth control.
- [introducing his wife's toy poodle to his new Doberman pinscher] Muffy, meet Adolph. Adolph, EAT MUFFY!
- [complaining about his wife's wealthy father] They pulled the plug on him. He wheezed and shook for about an hour and then... he stabilized. That son-of-a-bitch just got older and sicker, and older and sicker, AND OLDER AND SICKER...!
- Barbara: So, when do I get out of here?
- Sandy: As soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom.
- Barbara: What's the problem? What is the ransom?
- Sandy: Well, we asked for $500,000.00.
- Barbara: That should be no problem.
- Sandy: He wouldn't pay.
- Barbara: He wouldn't pay?
- Sandy: Then we asked him for $50,000.00.
- Barbara: Yeah?
- Sandy: He still wouldn't pay. So now we're lowering our price to $10,000.00.
- Barbara: Do I understand this correctly? I'm being marked down?
- Barbara: I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!
[Barbara has been kidnapped]
- Barbara: My husband worships the ground I walk on! When he hears about this, he will *explode*!
[meanwhile, Sam Stone pops a champagne cork with glee]
- Sam: Bye-bye, Barbara!
- Bender: GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR.
- Earl: Who said that?
- Walter: This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him.
- Bender: IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.
- Earl: Really?
- Bender: NO! WE'RE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION!