Soul Plane

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Soul Plane is a 2004 comedy film about an airline that caters to African Americans.

Nashawn[edit]

  • Everybody! Top deck! Drinks on me!
  • You know hard it is to get 84 inch tires?

Captain Mack[edit]

  • Testicles, 1, 2... Testicles, 1, 2. Hey ya'll, what's crackalackin? This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your shit on tight and enjoy the flight.
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 THOUSAND FEET? Oh shit, man! We fuckin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards!

Flame[edit]

  • [calmly, after a stewardess has whispered something into his ear] I'll handle this. [screams] THE CAPTAIN'S DEAD!
  • [After hearing Muggsy say he's got a cock fight in 10 minutes] Cock fight? I'm in.

Blanca[edit]

  • [in Spanish, to Muggsy]: I'll bet you have the tiniest penis.

Blind Man[edit]

  • I'm a player, but I don't play that way!

Middle Eastern Passenger[edit]

  • This is the bomb! [everything goes silent] What...? Let's dance!

Dialogue[edit]

Gaeman: Please, man, I...
Captain Mack: What part of "You ain't flying this motherfuckin' plane" don't you understand? Sit the fuck back and enjoy the flight, Idi Amin!
Blanca: [after catching Method Man staring at her chest] Ain't no drink down there.
Muggsy: The hell there ain't.
Heather Hunkee: Fine. For a couple more hours. I am 17 and then I'll be 18. Then I can party and have sex.
Mr. Hunkee: Sex?! No, no.
Heather Hunkee: Yeah, sex. Missionary, doggie-style, rockin' the baby, gettin' tea-bagged, playin' the trombone while I'm tossin' a salad, hand jobs, ear jobs, blow jobs. Gettin' a pearl necklace, ridin' the bologna pony... sucking--
Mr. Hunkee: That's enough!
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, Mr. Hunkee, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your flight 114 to JFK has been cancelled.
Barbara: Oh, for the love of...
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: But, the good news is that we have found another airline that can accommodate you this evening. [in background] Would you be interested in flying another airline?
Mr. Hunkee: No problem.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: OK, four tickets for flight... 069, on NWA. What you gonna wanna do is go to gate 1, uh, that's Terminal X, and we'll send your luggage on down for you.
Mr. Hunkee: Thank you.
Worldwide Airlines Ticket Agent: Good luck!
Billy Hunkee: Oh shit!
Barbara: Terminal Malcolm X?
Captain Mack: Hey, yo Game, why don't you go secure the cockpit, homie.
Gaeman: Yes, right away. [locks the cockpit door] This motherfucker is locked.
Captain Mack: [picks up a bobble head doll] Fred G. Sanford, my nigger, and the "G" is for goin' places, can you dig it? [shakes bobble head, making it nod its head] Now we ready to roll. [the plane starts up and backs up] Oh nigger got switches in this motherfucker, huh? [hits a switch] Mmm shit, and they work! [camera cuts to some surprised passengers] Oh this motherfucker's hot yo! [plane bounces around] Yeah!
Gaeman: Oh my gosh! [plane continues bouncing]
Captain Mack: Bounce with me! This motherfucker's hooked up!
Gaeman: Like an elephant!
Captain Mack: Yeah! Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce!
Gaeman: Hey, I have the perfect music for this! Yes I have it right here. [puts a CD in the stereo] Huh what what... huh what what-
Captain Mack: [interrupts Gaeman] Hey man, hold on man, hold the fuck on.
Gaeman: Like an elephant! Ha ha!
Captain Mack: Naw man, you got to turn that bullshit off, man. Can't be ridin' to that bullshit, man.
Gaeman: Don't you shut off my music.
Captain: Ride ya some gangsta shit, pop that in man. Captain don't want to hear that Zimbabwe-ah-wa-wa-wa shit.
Gaeman: It's not shit. [take out CD, puts in Mack's CD]
Captain Mack: Whatever, get it the fuck out of here. I'm the captain of this motherfuckin' ship.
Riggs: Captain, what the hell's wrong with you?
Captain: I'm afraid of heights.
Riggs and Gaeman: AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?!

Taglines[edit]

  • What goes up, must get down.
  • We Fly, We Party, We Land
  • The party is nonstop

Cast[edit]

Quotes about Soul Plane[edit]

  • Viewers have a chance to take a crash course in tastelessness by watching another piece of nouveau blaxploitation, where black people decked out in their bling-bling sing and dance to raunchy hip-hop music and eat fried chicken while sipping Alize. [...] An hour and a half of real airplane turbulence is better than sitting through the bad, offensive material that makes up "Soul Plane."

External links[edit]