Starslip Crisis is a webcomic by Kristofer Straub. It began May 23, 2005 and follows the sci-fi adventures of an art museum aboard a starship.
Memnon Vanderbeam 
- to attacking pirates: Attention roguish invaders! Before you begin your practiced savaging of what must appear to be another ordinary starship, be aware that this is not some bulk freighter, but a place of learning and culture! This ship houses some of the most priceless treasures in known space! To plunder it is to plunder the poet soul of mankind.
- My diplomacy must sparkle.
- High-contrast lighting and cold onyx surfaces. How Kubrick. How hideous.
- For the same reason the universe exists! Dining ambience.
- to Mr. Jinx: Remind me to pay you a wage so I can threaten to dock it.
- to Mr. Jinx: WEAR IT LIKE A HAAAAAT!!
Cutter Edgewise 
- I always take care of my own. Just not my own liver, is all.
- to an alternate-universe Vanderbeam: No dice, parallel-face! You're reactor chow.
- I have a running tab at the engine room's waste ethanol pump.
- My mom was an alcoholic small arms dealer. She knew I needed a masculine influence around the house after my father left. We had this turret I called 'dad.'
Mr. Jinx 
- Sorry if I got some Jinx on you.
- You must settle down, sir! Perhaps my calming anesthetic saliva --
Lord Katarakis IX 
- Why doesn't anything go right for me? All I wanted was to enslave a destroyed universe of tortured dead.
Admiral Huff 
- I'm all for beating swords into plowshares, but I'd rather do it over someone's skull.