Steel Magnolias

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Steel Magnolias is a 1989 American comedy-drama film about a close-knit circle of friends whose lives come together in a beauty parlor in a small parish in modern-day Louisiana.

Directed by Herbert Ross. Written by Robert Harling, based on his 1987 play of the same name.
Sometimes laughter is a matter of life and death.taglines

Contents

Truvy Jones [edit]

  • Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
  • There is no such thing as natural beauty.
  • This is the '80s, Clairee. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.

Shelby Eatenton Latcherie [edit]

  • [about M'Lynn] You can't mess up her hair. You just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet.
  • I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.

Louisa "Ousier" Boudreaux [edit]

  • M'Lynn, your husband is a boil on the butt of humanity.
  • I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!
  • Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one!

M'Lynn Eatenton [edit]

  • Don't you decorate your sister's car with condoms, it's tacky!
  • [To Shelby, after seeing the car] Let me put it this way... If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set!
  • I find it amusin'. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or somethin'. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh God. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.

Clairee Belcher [edit]

  • [about the new mayor's wife dancing and wearing a tight dress without a girdle] Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket.
  • Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

Other [edit]

  • Drum: I heard you got so screwed up you cut your dog out of your will and had an ungrateful nephew put to sleep.
  • Annelle: [Sammy is wearing an Easter bunny contume] We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant!

Dialogue [edit]

Truvy: What are your colors Shelby?
Shelby: Blush and Bashful.
M'Lynn: Her colors are pink and pink.
Shelby: My colors are blush and bashful. I have chosen two shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other.
M'Lynn: Oh how precious is this wedding going to get, I ask you? That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol.
Clairee: I'm a little embarrassed, I'm windblown. I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah? How did that go?
Clairee: Beautifully, except, Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.
Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?
[Ouiser slices him the tail piece of an armadillo cake]
Drum: Aww, thanks Ouiser. Nothin' like a good piece of ass.
Sammy: You're supposed to soak the red beans overnight.
Annelle: But we don't have overnight!! And I wanted to take it to 'em before they leave for the hospital tomorrow!
Sammy: Then, let's cook somethin' else.
Annelle: I already bought all the stuff and it's in the "freezes beautifully" section of my cookbook. I wanna take somethin that freezes beautifully.
Sammy: Well, then, we'll make red beans and rice.
Annelle: Sammy Wayne Desoto, what is this in my Frigidaire?
Sammy: Beer.
Annelle: I don't care what you do with your refrigerator, but you will not keep liquor in mine.
[dumps the beer out in the yard]
Sammy: Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sake!
Annelle: Who? Who did you say?
Sammy: Christ, Christ, Christ!
Annelle: Are you speaking of our Lord? Is that whose name you're taking in vain?
Sammy: That's the one.
Annelle: Well, I'm sorry, Sammy. But I am not about to spend the next fifty years of my life with someone I'm not gonna run into in the hereafter.
Sammy: Oh, Annelle, God damn it!
Annelle: I think we should pray.
Sammy: Oh, I'd rather eat dirt!
Shelby: Ya know what you need in here, Truvy? You need a radio. Music is a wonderful thing to have in the background. It takes the pressure off of everybody feeling they have to talk so much.
Truvy: Oh, I used to have one, but I smalled it against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. Of course, I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome.
M'Lynn: No.. I couldn't leave my Shelby. I just sat there and kept pushin' the way I always have where Shelby was concerned.... I was hopin' she'd sit up and argue with me. Finally we realized there was no hope. They turned off the machines. (Pause) Drum left.. couldn't take it. Jackson left. (Slight "laugh") I find it amusin'.. men are supposed to be made outta steel or somethin. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise. No tremble. Just peace. Oh God.. I realize as a woman how lucky I am! I was there when that beautiful creature drifted into my life.. and I was there when she drifted out of it. It was the most precious moment of my life... [Sighs] I gotta get back. Has anyone got a mirror?
Truvy: Does anyone have a mirror? I don't know how you're doin on the inside honey...but your HAIR sure is holdin up beautiful.
M'Lynn: [Looking in mirror, upset] Shelby was right! This IS a brown foot ball helmet!!!! [Begins to cry]
Clariee: Ohh.. honey are you ok?
M'Lynn: [crying] I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. [screaming] I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know why Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will ever know how wonderful his mother was! Will he ever know what she went through for him! Oh God I wanna know why!! Why Lord, I wish I could understand! [in a firm tone] No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard! [continues sobbing]
Clairee: Here! [grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn] Hit this! Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her!
Ouiser: Are you crazy?
Clairee: Hit her!
Ouiser: Are you high, Clairee?
Truvy: Clairee, have you lost your mind?
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX! Hit her!
Annelle: Ms. Clairee, enough!
Clairee: Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!
Ouiser: [gets out of Clairee's grip] Let go o' me!
Clairee: M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!
Annelle: [quietly laughing] Miss Clairee, that wasn't a very Christian thing to do.
Clairee: Oh Annelle, ya gotta lighten up.
Ouiser: (hugs M'Lynn) M'Lynn, you're in my prayers, honey. (Looks at a shocked Annelle.) Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied.
Annelle: I suspected this all along!
Ouiser: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!
Annelle: Not on your first visit!
Clairee: Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!
Clairee: [discussing the color of the football uniforms] ... But I love the top - such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call this color "grape" or "aubergine'?
Ouiser: SHUT UP!
Clairee: What?
Ouiser: You're makin' a fool outta yourself, Clairee.
Clairee: I am not.
Ouiser: This is football. All people care about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn about that grape shit.

Taglines [edit]

  • Sometimes laughter is a matter of life and death.
  • The funniest movie ever to make you cry.

Cast [edit]

External Links [edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
Retrieved from "http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Steel_Magnolias&oldid=1579894"