Stormont Mancroft, 2nd Baron Mancroft
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A Chinaman in My Bath 
- My first car was painted red down one side and blue down the other to confuse witnesses in case of an accident.
- Nobody ever seemed quite clear whether the expression "drunk as a lord" should be taken as a compliment or an insult.
- The only exercise I ever take is walking up hospital stairs to visit friends who've damaged themselves by taking exercise.
- Before the War you took your secretary to Paris and called her your wife. Now, in order to wriggle through the tax-gatherer's net, you take your wife to Paris and call her your secretary.
- Cricket is a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of Eternity.