needs quotes from Throbbing Python of Love ~~ Add them then.
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- I have a career. What the hell am I doing? (From Whose Line Is It Anyway, during the game Scenes From A Hat, which the scene was "What Robin Williams Is Thinking Right Now")
- If you remember the 1960s, you weren't there. (actually Dennis Hopper)
- Carpe per diem: Seize the check.
- Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? (Mork & Mindy)
- Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Cocaine addiction is God's way of saying you make too much money.
- If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniel's is the wheelchair.
- Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
- Canada is a well-behaved family living in an apartment above a biker bar.
- "Compassionate Conservative", that's kind of like having a gun rack on a Volvo.
- Tonight Show with Jay Leno
- Things you don't hear at the Tonys (Broadway Award Show), "Don't wait up kids".
- George Bush was in Bigfoot's National Guard unit, same number of sightings. (Fresh Air with Terry Gross)
- You want an amendment against same-sex marriage? Anyone who's ever been married knows it's always the same sex! (Man of the Year, 2006)
- I did not have sex with that woman. I wanted to! (Man of the Year, 2006)
- God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
- Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures."
- Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
- Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.
- In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."
- The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
- What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
- We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
- Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
- You'll notice that Bush never speaks when Cheiney is drinking water, check that shit out.
- When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
- I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets.