Talk:Whoopi Goldberg

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Unsourced[edit]

  • I am very attractive and get cuter the older I get. I'm even getting -- well, not statuesque, but I'm growing. I'm expanding. That's the best way to put it.
  • I'm an artist; art has no color and no sex.
  • If there wasn't something called acting they would probably hospitalize people like me. The giddiness and the joy of life is the moving and grooving, the exploration.
  • The greatest thing I ever was able to do was to give a welfare check back.
  • When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and be kind to someone else. And it'll become like a wildfire.
  • She is a cow. I am a cow. I felt the connection, cow to cow.
    • about her role in Doogal as Erminitrude, an opera-singing cow.

The View[edit]

  • Welcome to the View child
  • We'll be back with even more HoT ToPiCs (while waving her hands)
  • I've learned to take time for myself and to treat myself with a great deal of love and a great deal of respect 'cause I like me. I think I'm kind of cool.

Quotes from The Hollywood Squares[edit]

Tom Bergeron: Salon Magazine reports that in his latest book, noted playwriter and screenwriter Larry Kramer revives an old rumor that Abraham Lincoln was what?
Whoopi: Black!
[laughter, Eddie Griffin nods his head]
Bruce Vilanch: That was Dinah Shore!
Whoopi: Oh, that's right. Actually, the rumor is that Abraham Lincolin was in fact gay.
[contestant agrees and is correct, circle gets the square]

Tom Bergeron: The space station Mir has been orbiting Earth for over 20 years. Mir is the Russian word for what?
Whoopi: Broke! [laughter] Oops! Made a boo-boo! Ain't nothing to do about it now! [laughter] Nothing to do now, but cocta! [laughter] That's what I think. But what I think they think it means is peace.
[contestant agrees and is correct, X gets the square]

Tom Bergeron: Women can greatly reduce the chance of heart disease, say experts, by doing what for 3 hours a week?
Caroline Rhea: Their cardiologist!
Whoopi: Works for me!

[contestant has selected Whoopi to begin the game by saying, "I'd like to take Whoopi Goldberg, please."]
Whoopi: David, where exactly would you like to take me?
Contestant: I'm a married man.
Whoopi: Oh, sorry. Well, you suggested it! [laughter] I would not have stepped forward had you not said you'd like to take me but I understand it was a different sort of take! I just hurt my feelings! See if I'll give you an answer! [laughter] I'm sorry; I'm just that way today.

Tom Bergeron: 62 million Americans have access to it and 42 million have used it in the past month. What is it?
Whoopi: Caroline's phone number! [laughter from audience and Caroline Rhea] I didn't say she was home! I just said they called her!
Caroline Rhea: That was last century!
Whoopi: Oh, that's right. There's so many centuries in my life I just can't keep it together. It can only be one thing that would hold a volume like that; it has to be the internet.
[contestant agrees and is correct, X gets the square]

Tom Bergeon: Thanks to Los Del Rio, the 90s will be remembered for a dance craze known as what?
Whoopi: The bimbo limbo! [laughter] No. You know what it was! There was only one dance craze in the 90s and that was the macarena.
[contestant agrees and is correct, X gets the square]

Tom Bergeron: The Bible says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to what?
Whoopi: To date a woman his own age! [laughter and applause] The more zeros they get the younger the girls get. That's just me, maybe. Uh, the quote is, easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven.
[contestant agrees and is correct, X gets the square]

Tom Bergeron: According to our friends at Men's Health Magazine, if you wake up in the middle of the night, should you turn on the lights?
Whoopi: Well, yes, at least to be able to ask the person what his or her name is! [laughter] I think it's a good idea, but they actually say, "Don't do it."
[contestant agrees and is correct, circle gets the square]

Tom Bergeron: In the 1940s, "Operation Enormous" was the codename for Russia's attempt to steal America's biggest secret. What?
[pause]
Whoopi: I'm not going there, Tom!
[slight laughter]
Tom Bergeron: You're not?
Whoopi: No. I'm not going to do any Viagra or penis jokes! The nuclear bomb.
[contestant agrees and is correct, X gets the square]