The Addams Family (musical)
The Addams Family is a musical with music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa and a book by Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice. The show is based upon The Addams Family characters created by Charles Addams in his single-panel gag cartoons, which depict a ghoulish American family with an affinity for all things macabre.
Contents |
[edit] Grandma
- When I break wind it can start the windmills on an old Dutch painting.
- Three words people: total, body, make-over! Legs, hair, boobs, the full enchilada! Call me cougar, but I betcha there's a couple of ninety year old hotties out there waiting to take their teeth out and chow down on a Grandma sandwich!
- STAY OUT OF MY SHIT OR I'LL RIP YOUR LEG OFF AND BURY IT IN THE BACKYARD! ...I love you...
[edit] Uncle Fester
- You're probably thinking: what could a fat bald person of no specific sexuality know about love? But I, too, am in love. Fester loves...
- So will love triumph, or will everyone go home vaguely depressed?
[edit] Gomez
- Love of chocolate! You must love chocolate, everybody loves chocolate! Say you do, say it!
- [to the family's pet squid] No! Bernice, he's a guest, you can't have him!
- Are thy now prepared to join thy fabulous mother? She of skin so pale, eyes so deep, and DRESS cut down to Venezuela!
[edit] Conversation
Morticia: What are you wearing?
Wednesday: A dress?
Morticia: A yellow dress.
Gomez: Paloma – what happened? You look like a crime scene!
Gomez: It's called Full Disclosure!
Morticia: Everybody sips from the sacred family chalice and confesses something they never told anyone.
Gomez: Loosely based on the inquisition.
Wednesday: Now here’s the thing. We’re gonna act real normal.
The Addams Family: Gasp!
Grandma: Define “normal.”
Lucas: Wait, I know this tree! it's where I first saw her! I was lost in the park when a pidgeon dropped to my feet with an arrow in it, I looked up, and there she was! Wednesday with a crossbow, and she looked like Diana the Huntress.
Mal: Who?
Lucas: A Roman Goddess, Dad. She ruled the woodlands and was worshipped by slaves.
Alice: Isn't that interesting!
Mal: Well, that's great input that will get you through life.
Grandma: One sip of this will turn Mary Poppins into Madea.
Pugsley: I don't understand your references!
Grandma: Then stop the damn texting and pick up a book once in a while!
