The Benchwarmers
From Wikiquote
The Benchwarmers is a 2006 American comedy film directed by Dennis Dugan. It stars Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon Heder.
Contents |
[edit] Clark
- I love beef stew!
- Hold on my moms texting me...No Way! We're having macaroni tonight that means garlic bread.. Yes!!
- Is bad ass one or two words?
[edit] Howie
- For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER! [cries]
- Fine, you can eat the thin mints at my funeral, Richie.
- Richie told me about that killer lose in the neighborhood, He is killing anyone named Howie! That’s my name, That’s My Name!
[edit] Mel
- Howie, you're a freak.
- Keep it under a billion, that's all I got... on me hahaha.
- If you build it, nerds will come.
[edit] Other
- Richie: I... love... salad.
- Old Man At The Video Store: I smell Cinnamon rolls...
- Gus: My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties.
[edit] Dialogue
- Gus: Clark, don't pick your nose in front of me?
- Clark: I'm not picking, I'm scratching.
- Gus: What are you scratching? Your brain?
- Clark: Yeah, 'cause it's huge.
- Richie: He just did that steroid free!
- Clark: What's steroids?
- Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.
- Clark: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!
- Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car.
- Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year.
- [Extends arms forward and then retracts]
- Clark: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.
- Howie: I`m not afraid of the sun anymore.
- Wayne: That`s good, buddy. How's the moon treating you?
- Howie: Not a fan!
- Howie: Thats nice...what does going all the way mean??
- Wayne: [whispers in Howie's ear]
- Howie: [squeezes suntan lotion and screams]Aaaaaah!
- Clark: Shut up number 7!
- Number 7 Robot: No, you shut up!
- Clark: I'll kill you!
- Clark: Gus!
- Richie: Gus! [Gus is busy mowing a lawn and can't hear them calling]
- Clark: He can't hear us. [Picks up a rock in Gus' yard and throws it at Gus in an attempt to get his attention. Gus runs over the rock and it blasts out, hitting Richie in the groin]
- Richie: [Falls on the ground] Ouch. Ah...
- Gus: [Finally hearing them] Hey fellas. [Walks over to them] You okay Richie?
- Richie: [Standing up] Yeah, I'm fine, just... purple nuts.
- Brad: Clark?? Richie?? i woul'dn't of recognised you to clowns with out the underwear on your head!
- Richie:Wow brad you have really not slimmed down...
- Brad: Oh eat me...so i hear from jerry that you two think your professional athaletes now
- Richie: Ha thats funny i didn't know athlete had three sylables?? Ath-a-lete! Thats ama-za-zing!
- Brad: You just think your hot sh** coz you know words!
- Clark: Hey Brad why don't you be a stud and point us to the register or register-er! Haha
- Brad: My team has practice at 5! swing by if you she-men want to lose! *punches dumby*
- Richie: OH!! You can't handle the truth!
- Brad: Bring it!!!
- Clark: SUCK IT!!!
- Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops!
- Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals!
- Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops!
- Troy: Aren't you our paperboy?
- Clark: ...I'm undercover
- Kyle: Time to meet your makers!
- Clark: Makers of what? POOP?
- Wayne: Is that beer?
- Carlos: [stumbling] No it's Gatorade honkey, just give me the ball.
- Mel: Have you even known the joys of having children?
- Richie: Never had a date.
- Clark: Never talked to a girl.
- Marcus Ellwood: Do you still think I look like Yoda?
- Gus: No.
- Marcus Ellwood: But Yoda's my favorite! You're a bad, bad man!
- Richie: Clark, we don't play baseball.
- Clark: I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't go, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER!
- "kid cather" one out....gona be two outs
- "richie" haha...i bet your a good catcher...of doughnuts in your mouth
(after 2 strikes)
- Richie: [after hitting the ball] I ticked it!
- Kid Catcher #1: You're still out.
- Richie: You're still fat!
- Gus: [to Nelson] Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier?
- Mel: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies.
- Nelson: I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.
- Clark: When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
- Nelson: His son just did that to me last week!
- [looking at Mel's Pontiac Firebird Trans Am]
- Clark: This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.
- Mel: It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this. [Mel activates the car with his watch]
- K.I.T.T: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.
- Richie: [to Mel] Who are you?
- Mel: Oh, I'm just once of those nerds who grew up...to make billions.
