The Brave Little Toaster (film)

The Brave Little Toaster is a 1987 American animated film directed by Jerry Rees, written by Thomas M. Disch, produced by Hyperion Pictures, along with The Kushner-Locke Company, and released by Walt Disney Productions (who were the original producers).

Radio

• [first lines] Good morning, good morning, gooood morning!
• [repeated line] Listen to this.
• Get ready, you devil dogs, because the master bebop blaster of all time is about to give you a soul injection!
• Sorry, for that little interruption, folks. We return to our regularly-scheduled program momentarily.
• [sinking in the mud] Well, this concludes our broadcast day, or week... actually, this concludes all broadcasting of any sort. We'll try to leave you with a suitable tune. [plays Al Jolson singing "Mammy"]

Lampy

• Holy Mother of Edison! What were you thinking? You could have broken my bulb!
• Hey, I've got an idea! We can all get on top of the bed, and Kirby can push us! No, no, no... Hey! What about the master's pogo stick? No, no, no... Hey! Why don't we get the refrigerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull?... No, no, no... Hey!
• That's very interesting. Good night, slothead.
• I remember the first time my bulb burned out. I thought, "That's it! I'm burnt out! Eighty-sixed! To the showers!" And then the master gave me a new bulb... and I glowed.
• He's just a baby!

Blanky

• But, I don't wanna any Master.
• Help me! I'm stuck!

Kirby

• I just know I'm gonna regret this...
• Oh, battery is runnin' low. We should gimme a rest. Lampy, turn out that light.
• [after he falls into a mud hole] I knew I shouldn't have let you guys drive. [He starts sinking] Oh, this is great fun! Let's make these outings a regular thing, okay?

Toaster

• STOP IT! We're going out to find him!
• Let's get back to work.
• Ah, don't be a wet blanket.

Dialogue

Kirby: What do you mean what are we going to do today? The same thing we've done for the last 2,000 days! Chores!

Blanky: Chores?

Toaster: It'll be fun.

Radio: Fun? I'm up for some fun. Listen to this, a broadcast from Wrigley Field. It's the bottom of the ninth... [Lampy shuts Radio off]

Lampy: I don't see how doing chores is supposed to be fun.

Kirby: It's not supposed to be fun. It's work.

Blanky: I don't want to work without the master.

Toaster: Well, if you don't want to work, why don't we play a game?

Radio: A game? What sort of a game?

Lampy: What are the rules?

Toaster: There's only one rule... no one stops until the house is clean. [the other appliances boo at him]

---

Air Conditioner: The whole bunch of you gotta have a combined wattage of maybe five, maybe less. It's been years. It's scrap metal time.

Toaster: Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.

Air Conditioner: That's real touching, Toaster. You're gonna get me bawling like a baby anytime now.

Toaster: I think you're jealous!

Air Conditioner: Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.

Lampy: Dim?!

Toaster: Yeah, because the master never played with you.

Kirby: 'Cause you're stuck in a wall!

[Enraged, Air Conditioner blows a huge gust of wind at the appliances]

Air Conditioner: So... It's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's going on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy... and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just 'cause you can move around, you think you're better than I am! I'M NOT AN INVALID! I WAS DESIGNED TO STICK IN A WALL!! I LIKE BEING STUCK IN THIS STUPID WALL!! I CAN'T HELP IT IF THE KID WAS TOO SHORT TO REACH MY DIALS!

Toaster: We didn't mean it! Really!

Air Conditioner: [bellowing] IT'S MY FUNCTION!!! [begins glowing red and sparking furiously]

Toaster: No! Wait! Wait!

[All the appliances run for cover as Air Conditioner overheats]

Kirby: He's gonna blow...!

Toaster: YANK YOUR PLUGS! [the appliances do so]

Kirby: A fuse!

[Air Conditioner continues to rage until he finally explodes. Toaster and Lampy carefully peek from behind the stairs to see the appliances' blown up remains]

Blanky: Poor Air Conditioner.

Toaster: I didn't know he'd take it so hard.

Kirby: Well, he was a jerk, anyway.

---

Lampy: Hey, come over here. I'm gonna...

Radio: Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?

Lampy: Precisely - a total idiot!

Radio: If you sabre wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!

[Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them]

Radio: A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl, and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th Street! Hey! No!

Kirby: Oh, whoa! Oh no, what!

Lampy: Let go! Whoa! Aaaaaooooooh! (crash) Aaaaaahhh! Hey, what's going on? What's goin' on, who turned on the lights?

---

Kirby: The batteries gone dead!

Radio: We're trapped like rats! Small little rats with no hair and one leg!

Toaster: BLANKY! (Lampy as the battery plug-in) BLANKY?!

Kirby: Blanket?! Blanket?! Where are you, you little wimp?!

---

[Blanky cries after realizing the Master hasn't returned]

Kirby: Cry, cry, weep, wail and sob! It's disgusting! Every time! I can't believe it! Every single... Give me that stupid picture! [tries to vacuum the picture]

Blanky: No, no! [Toaster helps him]

Toaster: I'll just put it away!

Kirby: In the garbage! [Radio and Lampy help him]

Blanky: No, you can't!

Kirby: Wimp!

Toaster: LET GO!

Kirby: He's not coming back anyway!

Lampy: He might, the fact is there's not enough facts.

---

Blanky: Wake up, wake up. Kirby!

Toaster: You're all right!

Toaster, Lampy, Radio, Blanky: YAAAAAYY!

Kirby: [gutter growl] Lay off! Just lay off!!

Toaster: What's the matter?

Lampy: We were worried about you.

Radio: You gave us a real scare, pal.

Kirby: Well, there's nothing wrong with me pal, so just back off!

Blanky: Don't be angry!

Kirby:: Let's keep your antenneas and knobs and wires and rivets off my chrome! Who needs you guys, anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight! I'd be better off without you!

Blanky: But, Kirby!

Kirby: Especially you, you little rag!

---

Toaster: Blanky! Blanky, where are you?! BLANKY?!

Lampy: Come on, Blanky! Speak up for Pete's sake!

Toaster: No, no, just relax. You've done enough. We'll look for him.

Lampy: Means I am feeling burned out!

Radio: Listen to this: "A lamp was awarded a Purple Heart... for being wounded in the line of duty. Lamps across the nation were switched off... for a moment of silence in respect for his bravery."

---

Lampy: Boy, he sure has grown!

Radio: Look at him! What a heartbreaker!

Toaster: He graduated too!

Kirby: Of course. He knows how to work hard.

Blanky: He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.

Black and White TV: Still needs ya? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!

Radio: Why, if it isn't ol' Rabbit Ears!

Black and White TV: Why, if it isn't ol' loudmouth!

Blanky: Hey, TV!

Lampy: Howya doin'?

Black and White TV: Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.

Toaster: The cabin hasn't been the same since they took you away.

Kirby: Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.

Black and White TV: Well, I see you haven't changed.

---

Customer: The missus loved the blender motor, she was wondering if you got some radio tubes, too.

Elmo St. Peters: Why sure, I got a whole shipped of radio tubes in from this morning

Radio: You gotta help me, you gotta hide me. I'll do anything. Bread. I can get you bread. Mountains of hot crossed buns.

Toaster: Come on. Pull yourself together. [They all hide.]

Elmo St. Peters: Now what did i do with that radio? I swear I left it right here in this very, very spot. What did it do? Just get up and walk away? Maybe I should drink more coffee. [Walks past radio. Then sees him.] There you are. Ha-ha, I found ya.

[Grabs the other appliances] gotta move you guys out of the way. [Hums and starts to do the operation.]

Toaster: K-Kirby, what should we do?

Kirby: I-I-I don't know.

Lampy: Hey, I got an idea.

[As Elmo St. Peters Continues to try doing the operation, Toaster closes the curtains, Elmo looks up, Blanky and kirby makes spooky sounds. As soon as Elmo sees his reflection on Toaster, he screams, runs around and runs into the pole, which knocks him out.]

Lampy: See? I told you it would work. I told you. I told you. I told you. I knew. I knew. I knew. It worked.

Megaphone: JAILBREAK! JAILBREAK! JAILBREAK! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!

[Refrigerator pounds the door down, and the dog goes in the truck and starts it up and drives away wile the broken appliances and the appliances run away. Elmo St. Peters Wakes up and notices the shack being torn apart, the customer pokes his head in the hole]

Customer: Did I catch you at a bad time? Just wondering if you got my radio tubes.