The Journeyman Project

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These are quotes from the computer game series The Journeyman Project.

The Journeyman Project[edit]

Temporal Security Annex Computer: Welcome Agent 5. Your fourth late arrival has been verified and logged. Please report at once to the command center.

Poseidon: You are no match for me, human, but...I love a challenge.
Elevator Voice: This floor has neither been modeled nor rendered.
Door Voice: Unequal pressure between this chamber and sub dock. Equalize pressures before entering. Avoid maximum pressure; some objects may implode.
Ares: Out of my way human, or die.
Mercury: I've been expecting you.

Elliot Sinclair: Get back, don't try to stop me! This will end it one way or another, get back!

Journeyman Project 2: Buried In Time[edit]

Arthur: "There's something I forgot to tell you, Gage. I'm the virus! Thanks for the adventure. I'll see you on the other side."
Agent 3: (begins to be engulfed by energy) "What did you do?" (voice takes on harmonics as time and space distort) "What did you do!"

Gage Blackwood attempts to open a locked door in Chateau Gaillard

Arthur: "I have a nagging feeling that the room behind this door was never modeled nor rendered. What the hell does that mean?"

Hinting the player on how to climb a tower in Chateau Gaillard

Arthur: "Well, you can either use the grappling hook you found, or be bitten by a radioactive spider."

Arthur: "Look, I used up all the literal references I could think of. USE THE GRAPPLING HOOK."

Journeyman Project 3: Legacy of Time[edit]

Pre-Areas[edit]

Inspecting a fleeing boat with telezoom
Arthur: "That derelict boat seems to be in a hurry to leave the island. Hold on, there's somebody on that boat! He looks familiar... (performs a scan) Call me time-space happy, but I swear that's Dr. Elliot Sinclair! The guy who invented time travel! The guy you put from 10 to 20 at Vega Thalon! It could be Sinclair's distant cousin! You know, that means... baldness IS hereditary."

Arthur: Trying to get the player to use the rope ladder "If we only had some sort of climbing device... (coughing) Rope ladder! (coughing) Hmm. Let's see, it rhymes with 'pope bladder?'"

Arthur: Pretending to be Auric Goldfinger "Do I expect you to leave this well? No, Agent Blackwood, I expect you to die!"

El Dorado[edit]

A man is holding onto a rope connected to a balloon, leaving him suspended a few feet above the ground
Arthur: "Hey, let go! You're unraveling my sweater!"
Arthur: "Hang around."
Arthur: "Hurry and pull him up to the side again so we can throw him off!"

Gage Blackwood has just drained a pool of water
Arthur: "He's single, he time travels, he parts water: ladies and gentlemen, Gage Blackwood!"
In the pool, they find many stone blocks carved to resemble heads
Arthur: "Gage, we've found it! The actual birthplace of 'Pez'!"
Arthur: "At what point do you think they turned to the pool contractor and said, 'Okay, enough with the heads already!'"
Arthur: "This looks just like your tub! Only you have the 'Muppet Baby' heads."
Arthur: "Yes, Yes, this piece speaks so much to me. It's as if the heads are saying "Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, but the other twenty-one of us are going to have fun." Arthur: "Well, looks like we're headed in the right direction! Heh, heh, heh... OW! (in pain) How did you find my groin, Gage?!
Regarding the fire below the temple
Arthur: "Gage? Do you know why animals have a natural fear of fire? BECAUSE IT HURTS!"

Atlantis[edit]

Coming aboard a deserted vessel
Arthur: impersonates Captain Kirk "Captain's log, stardate 1262 B. C. On, a routine expedition we've stumbled upon a strange Atlantean vessel with no crew. I'm, hoping to find a naive alien mermaid shackled within the brig."
Arthur: impersonates the millionaire from Gilligan's Island "Lovey, what kind of cruise ship is this? No skipper, no professor, no Mary Anne? Probably no shuffleboard or holes in the hull. I'm leaving."

Looking inside a kiln
Arthur: sings "If I knew you were coming I'd've baked a cake, and learned to sing, stop me Gage."

In a potter's shop, finding a machine that extrudes clay
Arthur: "Normally, Gage, I'd tell you not to play with anything while you're in a store. But, you're older now." disgusted "Go ahead, play with the machine."

In the windmill, looking at the rug near the entrance
Arthur: "Normally I don't make aesthetic criticisms in other peoples' homes, but that rug looks like a beaver exploded."
Arthur: "That looks like it should be on Shatner's head! Or it could have been on Ernest Borgnine's back."
Arthur: "Nice, flat puppy!"
Arthur: "No real animals were harmed to create this computer generated rug."
Arthur: "If meat is murder, then that rug is at least a severe beating."
Arthur: "Ch-ch-ch-Chia-floor!"
Arthur: whispering "Gage, slowly reach for the shears. No sudden movements; it looks hungry!"
Arthur: "How many human beards had to die to make that rug?"
Arthur: "The ferocious wig-creature from the planet Weave waited patiently, hungrily on the ground, biding its time for its favorite unsuspecting meal: A scrumptious time-travel agent."
Arthur: "That rug looks like... oh, forget this. If you can think of a funny line, please write to Presto Studios, care of everyone involved, but no one who cares."


In the windmill, examining some schematics
Arthur: "This schematic seems to depict Amun's way to enter that secret passage! Or it's an elaborate scheme to kill the Roadrunner."

In the windmill
Arthur: Ahhh, an Archimedes screw! Of course, Archimedes won't even exist for a few hundred years. Whoever beat him to the punch should've gotten a patent. That's how people get screwed in this business.
Arthur: Careful. I don’t want you ending up in some back alley Atlantian Chiropractor’s Office. I hear therapy involves a rack and two bulls.

Talking to a guard outside the temple
Arthur: "Gage... You like movies about... gladiators?"

Shangri-La[edit]

Moving through underground steam vents and tunnels
Arthur: impersonates Auric Goldfinger from the James Bond movie Goldfinger "Do I expect you to leave these steam tunnels alive? No, Agent Blackwood, I expect you to die!"
Arthur: "Om is said to be the perfect sound of the universe. But, not when you say it like this:" (Makes terrible shrieking noise somehow sounding relatively like 'Om', sounds are reminiscent of Jerry Lewis)
regarding the lotus-shaped object at the top of the temple
Arthur: "Shouldn't this thing be pyramid shaped? Shouldn't we have found this earlier? Shouldn't you have been smarter, or taller, or just plain better? And Dammit, Gage, shouldn't we be married by now, I mean, people are starting to talk... Oh, sorry. Anyway- this thing is the wrong shape."
Arthur: Starts humming the bass line to the Beatles song "Ob la di" "Om Mani, Padme hum, life goes on, Bra! La la la la life goes on... Beatles? They were kinda big..."

Any of the Three Locations[edit]

Attempting to time travel before the eyes of someone from thousands of years in the past
Arthur: "Gage, if you think time-jumping in front of someone centuries before the invention of pockets is 'blending in,' you'd better reread your secret-agent handbook.

Attempting to change the Chameleon Disguise in front of someone
Arthur: "Where's your modesty? You can't change your clothes in front of a stranger!"

Attempting to approach a person in the past without a disguise
Arthur: "That's not how Halloween works, Gage. You have to put on a costume, THEN you go ask for candy."

Attempting to approach a person while using their own disguise
Arthur: Can you imagine how that person would react if an exact mirror image walked up and said 'hi!'? Well, I guess you can... (referring to the events of Buried in Time) Anyway, most people will not handle this as well as you would."

Temporal Security Agency Headquarters[edit]

Arthur: impersonates a narrator "Meanwhile, back at the Batcave."

Arthur: "Now I'm SURE you're the only employee here. You're like a night watchman named 'Paps' who comes around with a big ring of keys once in awhile to make sure all the shiny metal things still beep and look pretty."

Arthur: "No one to see us off again. It's not like I'm asking for big goodbye party or anything, but a little appreciation would be nice. We're risking our necks here and- what? You got a 'Get Back Soon' card from Agent 3? Well, whoop-de-doo, Mr. Popular."

Null Time Pocket[edit]

Looking upon the constantly swirling lights in this place that is nowhere and no time
Arthur: "Gage, help! We're trapped inside your screensaver!"

Arthur: "Gage, THIS is your colon...eat more bran!"

Arthur: "The whole space-time continuum concept is actually quite simple. You see Gage, space and time are just floating around in a big lava lamp."

Arthur: "If this place were a verb, it would be 'regurgitate'."

Ending[edit]

Agent 3: "Have you decided whether to accept the symbiatry's offer?"
Gage: "No, I haven't. I told them I needed more time."
Arthur has on the Chameleon jumpsuit and is impersonating an eighteenth century man
Arthur: "Retirement's not your style, Gage! Besides- I think your ego would swell up too much if I had to call you 'Mr Ambassador to the Quo'Thalas, sir'"
Agent 3: "Arthur?"
Arthur: "Remember- Comissioner Jack wanted you at the ceremony early!"
Gage: "Why did I agree to that?"
Arthur: "Why? Beacause you saved the world again! All by yourself with absolutely no help from your friends!"
Gage: "Alright, alright, point taken, I won't forget to mention you."
Arthur: "Oh, thank you, kind sir. And when will this magnanimous mention occur? After dessert or during the cabride home?"
Gage: "I Couldn't have done ANYTHING without you."
Arthur: "Even though Genghis Kahn would make a big splash hit at our reception, I need to assume a more formal chameleon guise. Something macho. Gage, do we have time to jump back and meet Dick Clark?"
Gage: "Who?"
Arthur: "Never mind. He'll probably BE at the party."

Credits[edit]

Arthur: "Gage, your theme music is lovely but, uh, I think it's about time we played a little something for the kids? A one, a two, a two three four-"
Begins synthesizing his own music and breaks into song
"Arthur..."
More synthesization
"They called him Arthur!"
More synthesization
"He was an artificial intelligence that was cool!"
More synthesization
"Arthur!"
More synthesization
"They thought that his singing was annoying but he was no fool!"
More synthesization
"Artificial as soap!"
"Artificial as rope!"
"Artificial, artificial! He will find the love that is the one, for Arthur's...the lonely...one."
Is pulled off screen by a hook
"Arthur..."

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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