The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists (film)
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (released in North America and Australia as The Pirates! Band of Misfits) is a 2012 British 3-D stop-motion animated adventure comedy film about Pirate Captain, who sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz for the Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London.
- Directed by Peter Lord. Written by Gideon Defoe, loosely based on his book The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists.
Pirate Captain 
- Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat...
- Fire all things that go bang!
- You're the best crew a captain could wish for!
- And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat a Dracula.
Cutlass Liz 
- That trophy has got MY name on it.
Queen Victoria 
- I.. HATE...PIRATES!!!
- Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm a pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold!
- Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat. [his arm falls off] See?
- Pirate with Scarf: Can we get there?
- Pirate Captain: Yes, but unfortunately, there's this dirty great sea monster in the way.
- Charles Darwin: I think they just add those on the maps for decoration.
- Pirate Captain: Is that a fact?
- [they go that way, and the monster appears and eats the ship]
- Pirate with Scarf: See? I told you!
- Peg Leg Hastings: The Pirate of the Year Awards...
- Pirate Captain: Every time I've entered, I've failed to win. So, I must have a really good chance this time!
- Pirate Captain: What pirates? Nobody here but us girl scouts!
- [the crew is disguised in scout uniforms]
- Bobo: Yeah. Right.
- Black Bellamy: You want to be Pirate of the Year? Do they just give it to the guy with the fattest parrot?
- Pirate Captain: She's not fat, she's just big-boned!
- Black Bellamy: She's fat, dude.
- [the Dodo vomits on Bellamy]
- Black Bellamy: Dude, come on!
- Pirate Captain: [looks at Darwin's house] You don't get many girls, do you?
- Bobo: No. He. Doesn't.
- It's a plunderful life.
- Laugh your booty off.
- Join the crew and kick some booty.
- Prepare for a new breed of pirates.
- Let's go plundering.
- Places to pillage. People to skewer.
- Hugh Grant - Pirate Captain
- Martin Freeman - the Pirate with a Scarf/Number Two
- Imelda Staunton - Queen Victoria
- David Tennant - Charles Darwin
- Jeremy Piven - Black Bellamy
- Salma Hayek - Cutlass Liz
- Lenny Henry - Peg-Leg Hastings
- Brian Blessed - Pirate King
- Russell Tovey - Albino Pirate (UK version)
- Anton Yelchin - Albino Pirate (US version)
- Brendan Gleeson - Pirate with Gout
- Ashley Jensen - Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate
- Ben Whitehead - Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens (UK version)
- Al Roker - Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens (US version)
- Mike Cooper - Admiral Collingwood
- David Schneider - Scarlett Morgan
- Mitchell Mullen - Game show Host
- Jim Cummings - Scurvy Pirate