The Road to Hong Kong
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The Road to Hong Kong is a 1962 film about a pair of con men who get mixed up in international intrigue.
- Directed by Norman Panama. Written by Melvin Frank.
The last of the red hot Lamas!
Chester Babcock[edit]
- [cracks open a fortune cookie and reads] "You are under grave suspicion. Your partner suspects you of dishonesty." [passing it to Harry] Here, it's for you.
Dialogue[edit]
- Harry Turner: Chester, I give you my solemn word. This time it's not dangerous.
- Chester Babcock: Not dangerous?
- Harry Turner: No.
- Chester Babcock: That's what 'cha said when you shot me out of a cannon, when you dropped me in a tank with an octopus, when you had me wrestle a gorilla. It's not dangerous! I'm not going'. I'm through. I've had it. So forget it, Charlie!
- Harry Turner: [hands Chester a hand mirror] Who's that?
- Chester Babcock: [seeing his reflection] I don't know, but gimme a stick and I'll kill it.
- [while agent Diane mistakenly thinks she's made her secret contact with a microfilm photographer, Chester simply believes he's caught the eye of a beautiful, romantic woman]
- Diane: [whispers] Do you think we're being watched?
- Chester Babcock: [noticing Harry staring at them from the bar] Definitely.
- Diane: Oh, then we'll have to hurry.
- Chester Babcock: Have we got time?
- Diane: If you work fast.
- Chester Babcock: I'll do my best.
- Diane: Good. Now, I've got the room ready at the hotel.
- Chester Babcock: Good.
- Diane: I've made all the arrangements.
- Chester Babcock: Fine.
- Diane: The shades are all drawn.
- Chester Babcock: Very sensible.
- Diane: And we can lock the door from the inside.
- Chester Babcock: Oh, good. I'd hate to get a crowd until I get the hang of it.
- Diane: Are you sure you've done this sort of thing before?
- Chester Babcock: Well, I MUST have. When do we start?
- Diane: Right now. [suddenly shouting] Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again. [She slips him an envelope as she kisses him] You've got it.
- Chester Babcock: I know it.
- Diane: Don't lose it.
- Chester Babcock: Don't worry.
- Diane: I'll see you at the hotel.
- Chester Babcock: Pull the shades and lock the door.
- Diane: One final thing.
- Chester Babcock: Yes?
- Diane: In case I'm late, you go ahead without me.
- Harry Turner: An hour ago she flipped over me. I don't dig it.
- Chester Babcock: Well, that's understandable. An impressionable young thing falls for an elderly fellow. She probably thought you were a father figure.
- Harry Turner: Father figure?
- Chester Babcock: Yes, then she took another look and found out you had your father's figure.
- Diane: There must be some sensible solution to this problem.
- Harry Turner: Well, of course there is. Two fellas, one girl. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you come to my house.
- Chester Babcock: Yeah. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, my house.
- Diane: What about Sunday?
- Chester Babcock: Everybody rests.
- Harry Turner: Don't I always get you the best medical attention available?
- Chester Babcock: Yeah, like that doctor you got me in Bombay last month.
- Harry Turner: How was I going to know he was an elephant doctor?
- Chester Babcock: You should have known by the size of his thermometer.
- Harry Turner: Yes, was a bit large.
- Chester Babcock: When he shook it, I was still on it.
- Harry Turner: Happy landings, buster!
- Chester Babcock: I don't know what you're so happy about. You're not mentioned in my will.
- Indian Neurologist: [about a cobra] Oh, nothing to worry about. If he should give you a nip, it's very simple. All you do is to get hold of your bowie knife like this, make a cut on here, suck out the poison and spit it away. Very simple.
- Chester Babcock: Yeah, but what if he bites me in a place I can't reach?
- Indian Neurologist: That is when you find out who your real friends are.
- Harry Turner: You got a mind like a sponge.
- Chester Babcock: Yeah, don't get any ideas about squeezing it, either.
- Diane: Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?
- Harry Turner: Business first, fun and games later, mm?
- Diane: Mr. Babcock, if you leave now, you'll be running out on your fellow man.
- Chester Babcock: That still leaves my fellow women.
- Harry Turner: Those guys mean business. They're killers, murders.
- Chester Babcock: Besides that, they're unfriendly.
Cast[edit]
- Bing Crosby — Harry Turner
- Bob Hope — Chester Babcock
- Joan Collins — Diane (3rd Echelon agent)
- Robert Morley — Leader of the 3rd Echelon
- Peter Sellers — Indian physician
- Dorothy Lamour — Herself
- Walter Gotell — Dr. Zorbb (3rd Echelon scientist)
- Sir Felix Aylmer — Grand Lama
- Alan Gifford — American official
- Michele Mok — Mr. Ahso
- Katya Douglas — 3rd Echelon receptionist
- Roger Delgado — Jhinnah
- Robert Ayres — American official
- Peter Madden — Lama
- Dave King — Restaurateur
