Twister

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Twister is a 1996 film about a group of storm chasers trying to learn more about tornadoes, by putting instruments right in the storm's path.

Directed by Jan de Bont. Written by Michael Crichton and Anne-Marie Martin.
The Dark Side of Nature. taglines

Contents

[edit] Dialogue

[Melissa is giving therapy to a patient over the phone.]
Melissa: She did not marry your penis. Ok, she didn't only marry your penis.
Dusty: Bill, she just missed the truck!
Jo: [After her truck is destroyed, looking over at Bill's truck] Do you have full coverage on that truck?
Bill: Liability only.
Jo: Liability only...Well, it's a very pretty truck.
Melissa: Thank you.
[Bill smiles and realizes what she is thinking]
Bill: Don't even think about it. [Jo looks at him] NO WAY.
Rabbit: Y'know, in a severe lightning storm, you want to grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Haynes: He's right. If you're gonna get hit it's the safest orifice.
Joey: Yeah, I'd like to get hit by lightning once, y'know, see what it's like.
Rabbit:God Meg you got alot of beef.Where'd you get all this beef?
Aunt Meg: Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit: No.
Aunt Meg: Op...aaah!
[laughter from everyone]
Rabbit: Oh.
Dusty: You slaughter your own cows! Meg, nice!
Dusty: So we get this one near Daleton right?
Rabbit: Oh, god.
Dusty: And we are way to close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.
Beltzer: [points to Bill] And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...
Dusty: He is naked!
Rabbit: He is buck naked.
Beltzer: Naked!
Bill: NOT naked!
[laughter]
Bill: I was not naked!
Beltzer: [whispering into Melissa's ear] He was without apparel.
Bill: Half naked.
Dusty: Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right?
[laughter]
Dusty: And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground. The twister caught it, and sucked it right up!
Bill: Honey, this is a tissue full of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.


Joey: No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F-3?
Bill: Solid F-2.
Milissa: See, now you've lost me again.
Bill: It's the Fujita Scale. It measures a tornado's intensity by how much it eats.
Melissa: Eats?
Bill: Destroys.
Lawrence: The one we last encountered was a strong F-2, possibly an F-3.
Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some F-4's.
Haynes: That would be sweet!
Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house fairly efficiently.
Melissa: Is there an F-5? [silence falls over the group] What would that be like?
Preacher: ...The Finger of God.
[A combine has just been dropped from a tornado.]
Jo: Debris!Dusty we have Debris!
Bill: DEBRIS?
Jo: Right! Left! Right! Left!
Bill: Which way now?
Jo: I have no idea.
[Bill, driving a truck, has been dodging multiple combines and gone through a house.]
Bill: Maybe we should get off of this road.
Jo: :[during an argument] Can I drive?
Bill: No!
Jo: Then will you? :[the truck is about to hit a tractor]
Bill: WOAH! [Swerves away] GODDAMN!
Jo: Where's my truck?
[Jo's truck falls from the sky in the way of Melissa]
Jo: There it is.
Rabbit: Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.
Jo: :[cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
Melissa: [On the phone] I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
Jo: 'Nother cow.
Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.
[Aunt Meg is being loaded into an ambulance]
Jo: Is she OK?
Paramedic: We'll probably keep her overnight just to be safe.
Aunt Meg: Overnight, forget it, I'm all right.
Jo: You're going to the hospital.
Aunt Meg: OK, I'll go, but I'm gonna drive myself.
Rabbit: Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner.
Aunt Meg: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rabbit: You know, Jo, some of us couldn't help but notice how close we are to Wakita.
Jo: No.
Sanders: Aunt Meg wouldn't mind a pit stop, right?
Jo: No!
Dusty: Red meat! We crave sustenance!
Jo: Guys, we are NOT invading my aunt!
Dusty: F-food!
Rest of the Team: Food! FOOD!
Jo: Hey! We're absolutely not going!
Bill: Jonas! Son of a bitch!
Melissa: Who is that honey?
Bill: Jonas Miller. He's a nightcrawler. We all started out working in the same lab together and he went out and got some corporate sponsors. He's in it for the money not the science. He has a lot of cool gadgets, but he doesn't have any instinct, and he doesn't have Dorothy.
Dusty: It's the wonder of nature baby!

[Bill sees Jonas talking to a camera crew about his D.O.T.3 system, then starts angrily walking toward him]

Jo: Bill?
Bill: Why didn't you tell me?
Jo: Bill, don't!
Jonas:...And soon will be the center of all studies- [Bill punches Jonas and slams him against his truck] Hey, hey!
Bill: You son-of-a-bitch! What, did you think I wasn't going to find out?
Jonas: Somebody get this loser off of me? [Bill's team comes to pull Bill off of Jonas] What the hell is the matter with you?
Bill: [Tries to push at Jonas again] You stole my design, you son of a bitch!
Jonas: What the hell are you talking about?
Bill: DORTHY. You took her, you damn THIEF!
Jonas: [Realizes what Bill is talking about and smiles] Oh, I get it. You're trying to take credit for my designs, ain't you?
Bill: Liar. She's our idea and you know it!
Jonas: Unrealized idea. Unrealized.
Bill: That thing ain't worth shit! [Tries to attack Jonas again, Jo helps stop it]
Jo: Hey! Hey, guys! Get a grip on yourselves. We both know they'll never get that thing up in the air.
Jonas: Now let me enlighten you people. This baby has satellite comlink. We've got an onboard pulse stoppner, and we've got NEXRAD real-time. Today, we're going to make history. So stick around, 'cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Rabbit: Better than what you sniff.
Bill: We'll see who gets it first, PAL.
Jonas: Oh, and by the way...[Referring to Bill's new weatherman job] I really enjoy your weather reports. [Laughs and walks away]
Bill: [Tries to go after him again] YOU SLIME! I ain't finished with you, yet!

[Jo's team holds Bill back until Jonas leaves. Bill then shoves them away, though still fuming]

Sanders: He's a corperate kiss-butt, man!
Jo: [Walks to Bill] I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Bill: [Glaring at Jo] ONE DAY. I'll give you one day. Whether she flies or not, I'm going.

[edit] Taglines

  • There is a Mystery. Eluusive. Unpredictable. Violent. It terrifies most scientists. The challenge is saving lives. The Research is deadly. And the Laboratory is nature itself.
  • The Dark Side of Nature.
  • Don't Breathe. Don't Look Back.
  • Go for a ride you'll never forget!
  • If you can hear it, it's already too late!
  • Nature Sucks.

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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