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- Bloody men are like bloody buses -
You wait for about a year
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.
- Bloody men
- The day he moved out was terrible -
That evening she went through hell.
His absence wasn't a problem
But the corkscrew had gone as well.
- And happy families go to church and cheerily they mingle
And the whole business is unbelievably dreadful, if you're single.
- A Christmas Poem
- My true love hath my heart and I have hers
We swapped last Tuesday and felt quite elated
But now whenever one of us refers
To 'my heart' things get rather complicated.
- Parody of Sir Philip Sidney
- In April one seldom feels cheerful;
Dry stones, sun and dust make me fearful;
Clairvoyants distress me,
Commuters depress me—
Met Stetson and gave him an earful.
- Parody of T. S. Eliot