Young Dracula
Young Dracula is a Show done by the BBC. it follows Vladimir Dracula, the Son of Count Dracula and Magda Westernra, although he doesn't wish to be a vampire and to lead a normal life.
[edit] Season 1
[edit] When You're a Stranger [1.01]
Vlad: All my life, I've wanted to fit in. To be ordinary. So I thought moving to a new town would be my chance. A chance to be normal. But I was forgetting one little thing: I'm a vampire.
Ingrid: I hate you more than garlic!
(When Ingrid finds out Robin has discovered the family are vampires.)
Ingrid: Listen to me, meat-face! Swear by all that is morbidly evil not to tell anyone about us on pain of a long and gruesome death!
Robin: You're very pretty.
Ingrid: Yes, I am. Now swear!
Robin: I swear.
Ingrid: Good, now let's get you out of here before my father decides to have you for dinner and us for dessert.
Vlad: Can we have something normal like a hamburger?
Count Dracula: A person from Hamburg?
Vlad: No!
Vlad: I hate being a vampire! It really sucks.
Zoltan: Isn't that rather the point?
Robin: My neighbour's a vampire! Excellent!
[edit] First Day of School [1.02]
Vlad: So this is school.
Robin: Yeah. It's a bit like a prison, only sometimes people escape from prison.
Vlad: So you promise you won't tell anyone... else that I'm a vampire?
Robin and Chloe: Cross my heart and hope to die.
Count Dracula: Which is sooner than you think!
Van Helsing: I know what your father does; feeding on the innocent, bleeding them dry!
Robin: He's a plumber, yeah. If that's what you mean.
(When Van Helsing confiscated Vlad's brooch.)
Robin: Can't you just tell your Dad you lost it?
Vlad: Oh, yeah. If I want him to kill me!
Robin: Well, that's alright. You're dead already!
[edit] Mummy Returns [1.03]
Magda: Hello Darlings!
Chloe: Magda is in league with Mr. Van Helsing! She's gonna marry the Count and then bump him off!
Robin: (Excited) Wow! That's really evil!... And wrong, of course.
[edit] Slaytime Tv [1.04]
Renfield: Are we all ready to spin the wheel of DNA?
Chloe: If this is science, I'm a banana.
Renfield: Shut it before I peel you, clever clogs! This is Transylvanian science; much more accurate than boring British science.
Count Dracula: And it's entertaining.
Vlad: Dad, you promised to be careful. Do I need to spell it out for you? M-O-B.
Count Dracula: I am Count Dracula, not spell Dracula.
Ingrid: M-O-B spells angry peasant mob howling for your dust.
Count Dracula: I know that, but I'm bored.
Van Helsing: Now, what do you say if she invites you up to see her coffin?
Jonathan: "I'm not that sort of boy"?
[edit] Home Education [1.05]
(When Vlad gets suspended from school.)
Zoltan: I have composed a poem to celebrate your great acheivement:
"There once was a vampire called Vlad, who was terribly naughty and bad. He got suspended from school and learnt to be cruel, so now he can fang-out with his Dad."
(When the Count home schools Vlad after Vlad and Robin get suspended from school when they get blamed for Ingrid's vandalism.)
Elizabeth Branagh: Please, will you teach Robin? He can't afford to fall behind in his schoolwork he's doing badly enough as it is.
Robin: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mum.
(When the Count is teaching Vlad hypnotism.)
Count Dracula: Now, remember Vlad. The key to hypnotising your victim is to look deep... into their eyes.
Robin: Feeling a little uncomfortable with the word 'victim'.
(When everyone agrees to un-hypnotise the Count back into a vampire and the Branagh parents back into Breathers.)
Chloe: Will Mum and Dad still be after my blood?
Ingrid: Unfortunately not. They won't remember a thing. Lucky them!
[edit] Toothache [1.06]
(When Ingrid is disguising Robin as her boyfriend.)
Ingrid: If I can't prove I've got a boyfriend Dad's gonna send me off to Transiberia!
Chloe: (Smirking) Oh, dear! Send us a postcard when you get there!
(When Vlad is worrying his fangs are coming through and Chloe tries to reassure him.)
Chloe: You're not going to bite me.
Robin: I hope not. I wouldn't wanna miss that!
Robin: Morning, gorgeous!
(Chloe wakes up screaming the next morning after Vlad's sleep over as she has found fang neck wounds.)
Chloe: What've you done to me?!
Zoltan: Congratulations, master Vlad! Your first bite.
Vlad: NO! What am I gonna do?!
Chloe: Excuse me! I'm the victim here! What happens to me now?!
Zoltan: Welcome to the family, mistress Chloe!
(Jonathan yells in class when he sits next to Robin who's wearing face paint and fake fangs.)
Robin: Chill out, dude. It's just make up.
Jonathan: (awkwardly) Yeah, I knew that. I was just humouring you.
Robin: I love it when you growl like that!
[edit] Parent's Night [1.07]
Elizabeth: Now Robin, it doesn't matter what your teachers say tonight as long as you've gotten over this morbid obssession with vampires.
Robin: Yes, Mum.
Graham: And if not we've decided to send you to Happy Camp.
Robin: Happy Camp?!
Graham: It's where troubled children go and learn how to be happy.
Elizabeth: Through happy music and happy dance.
Robin: Oh, just kill me now!
(When the Count and the Great Chandu are having a re-match after their last chess game.)
Vlad: (After searching Chandu's pocket) Spare pieces! No wonder you couldn't beat him!
Count Dracula: Of all the scheming, conniving... actually why didn't I think of that?
[edit] 13th Birthday [1.08]
Crone: (To Robin) Do you prefer French blood or Italian?
[Robin thinks anxiously.]
Atilla: Tick, tock! Tick, tock!
Ingrid: (Raising her hand) Oh, I know! I know!
Crone: Let him answer!
Robin: Neither, they both taste of garlic.
Crone: I approve.
(After Vlad describes his Grandparents' strictness in upholding vampire tradition.)
Vlad: If they knew what my life was like here...
Robin: They'd kill you?
Vlad: Well... no. They'd send me back to Transylvania. To a vampire boarding school. No friends, no family, no daylight ever again. I'd spend the rest of eternity lurking around in the shadows. Can you imagine anything worse?
Robin: (Awed) Wicked!
(When Chloe gives Vlad a sunlamp for his birthday.)
Chloe: You said you wanted to get rid of that ghostly complextion.
Robin: That's not all he'll get rid of if the Count gets his hands on it. (Impersonates the Count) ARRGGHH! I'm melting! I'm melting!
[edit] Living with the Branaghs [1.09]
(When the Count plans to marry Mrs Branagh.)
Robin: (to Ingrid and Chloe) I've just realised something, if we can't stop this wedding, you two will be step sisters.
(Ingrid looks horrified.)
Chloe: Eurgh! I'd rather be undead!
Count Dracula: (to Vlad and Ingrid) As you would say, my dear children. Talk to the cape coz the face ain't listening!
(The Count twists Renfield's ear when he regrets putting cockroaches on the Count's dinner after they escaped.)
Renfield: Please, Master. If you twist any harder my ear's gonna come off!
Ingrid: He's right. Go on, just one more turn!
Robin: Yes! Just three more hours and two whole days of no school!
Vlad: I kinda miss it.
(Robin gives him an exasperated look.)
Robin: And people think I'm weird.
[edit] Rugby [1.10]
Vlad: I'm on the team, Robin!
Robin: (sarcastically) Oh, I'm so jealous!
Robin: I just had a terrible nightmare! I was playing rugby!
Robin: Come on, Vlad! Rip his legs off!
(While watching Vlad during the rugby tryouts.)
Robin: That's it, Vlad! Tackle him! Tackle him! Yeees! Oh, ok, no! Well, get up then! What's wrong with you?! It's only a knee you've got another one!
(Chloe gives him a look.)
Robin: What?
Chloe: Robin, I'm so proud of you. Who'd have thought it? Gloom-cookey Robin is a real Branagh after all.
[edit] Father's Day [1.11]
Vlad: So Father's Day is basically a way of conning your Dad?
Robin: Your point is?
Vlad: Got any spare cards?
Count Dracula: In your face, peasant!
Vlad: Fighting doesn't prove anything!
Count Dracula: Of course it does, it proves who's best at fighting!
Count Dracula: As a caring father, I wish you luck with your twisted habit of sleeping at night. How was that?
Vlad: Hmmm, not good to be honest.
(When Chloe tried to encourage Renfield to fight for his rights.)
Renfield: I demand... (thinks) rec-ognition!
Count Dracula: Well, of course I recognise you! You're that disgusting, smelly imbecile Renfield!
Renfield: Oh, thank you, Master!
[edit] Halloscream [1.12]
Elizabeth: I'm not happy about leaving you on your own tonight. You know how you get at Halloween.
Robin: I'm going to Vlad's, anyway you can trust me.
Graham: That's what you said last year. We stil haven't finished re-plastering.
Robin: That wasn't my fault; pumpkins aren't suppossed to explode.
Graham: And the year before?
Robin: Like the doctor said, that broomstick was an accident waiting to happen.
Robin: Zoltan, I need your advice. I've got this problem.
Zoltan: Bathe it in warm water and keep it bandaged over night. That works for me.
Robin: Err... no. I mean, should you do what's best for yourself or what's best for your friends?
Zoltan: Ah, most people would say you should put the wellbeing of others before your own. Look at me, I have never been selfish. And now... I'm stuffed, ignored, mounted on wheels.
Robin: Come out, come out, wherever you are... I know you're in here.
Vlad: Halloween affects Dad like a lit match in a fireworks factory.
Zoltan: Even a sausage through the heart wouldn't subdue him.
Chloe: You mean a stake.
Zoltan: Oh, yes. You see the Count has banned me from using that word. That word and "bun fight".
(Vlad, Robin and Chloe ponder this for a moment.)
Chloe: Sun light.
Zoltan: Mmm-hmm. "Bun fight" and "sausage".
Robin: I thought you said golf balls made him scream?
Zoltan: Ah, yes. But what I actually meant was G-A-R-L-I-C.
Robin: Garlic. (Realising) The Count's forbidden you from saying that.
Zoltan: Mmm-hmm. "Sausages", "bun fight" and "golf balls".
[edit] The Blood Test [1.13]
Zoltan: Ok, first question. If Boris can turn into a wolf in 3 seconds and Inga can turn into a bat in 5 seconds, how long would it take Boris and Inga to storm a peasant dwelling and drink the blood of everyone in sight?
Robin: Let's put an end to all this madness! Ha, ha, ha!
Ingrid: Eeww! What is that smell?
Renfield: Bat phlegm with rosemary.
Ingrid: Eurgh... I hate rosemary!
(When Ian and Paul put a notice on the school board for the football team tryouts.)
Paul: Last year we we're this close to letting the caretaker's dog on the team.
Ian: He's good!
[edit] Countdown [1.14]
(When Van Helsing is caught disguised as a woman at the Hunt Ball.)
Van Helsing: We'll meet again, soon.
Count Dracula: Can't wait. By the way, love the dress!
(When the Branaghs get sent a letter inviting them to the Hunt Ball.)
Elizabeth: That's strange, under dress code it just says running shoes.
(When it is believed that the Count has been slain.)
Ingrid: He's dead?! But he never said anything to me! That's so typical!
[edit] Season 2
[edit] Kidnipped [2.01]
(When Robin goes to Van Helsing's trailer to find Vlad and Ingrid tied together as Van Helsing's hostages.)
Robin: What're you doing?
Ingrid: Having a sing along, what does it look like?!
Van Helsing: (angrily) You're saying coz you live in a castle you're better than me?
Ingrid: No. I'm better than you because I'm a vampire.
[edit] The Yanks are Coming [2.02]
Ivan: You're what, just over seven hundred?
Count Dracula: SIX! Six hundred!
Ivan: Whatever, you look closer to a thousand.
Ingrid: Go and make MY bed before I dump you in the slime pit.
[edit] Mirror Mirror [2.03]
Ivan: (to Boris) Get out here, boy! Show me your fangs. Hmmm, a bit underdeveloped, not to worry. We'll start small, just a few cute bunnies.
Boris: You mean kill them?!
Count Dracula: No, take them syncronised swimming, of course kill them!
Zoltan: The surest and most effective cure for vampirism is...
Boris: Yes? Yes?!
Zoltan: A stake through the heart.
Boris: Maybe not.
Vlad: (Impersonating Van Helsing) I'm Van Helsing, I'm bald and I stink of garlic!
Vlad: (to Boris) Don't you understand? If we kill our Dads we're more evil than any vampire.
Ingrid: Good point.
(The Count and Ivan enter the room.)
Count Dracula: Vlad, Boris, Olga... the other one, what's going on?
Ingrid: Hello, Daddy. And goodbye!
Vlad: No, NO!
(She smashes the mirror.)
Olga: AAARGGHH! You've turned me into a Breather!
Ingrid: And I've killed your Dad.
Olga: Yeah, whatever.
Count Dracula: Slain by my own daughter! You're so grounded!
[edit] Bad Reflection [2.04]
Boris: I'm not evil. I'm not evil. (Laughs) Wanna bet?
(When Boris has drained power from Ivan and the Count.)
Ivan: I can't believe my own son could be so wicked and deceitful.
Count Dracula: Yes, yes, when you've quite finished gloating maybe you could use your super sensitive vampire hearing to find the little snake!
Ivan: What?
Ingrid: I wouldn't let Dad catch you sitting there.
Boris: Really? Why's that?
Zoltan: She's right, Master Boris. Only the Count is permitted to sit on the throne.
Boris: Thanks for the warning, but I don't take advise from stuffed dogs.
Ingrid: He's a wolf.
Boris: I wasn't talking to him.
Zoltan: Ouch!
Count Dracula: Where's that imp?! It's time he was taught a lesson!
Ivan: Ten to seven.
Boris: (to Vlad) Just wanna let you know, when it's your turn you'll become just as evil as I am. Just you wait, you can't escape your destiny (laughs). I be back! No one can stop me! No one! (Laughs hysterically).
Ingrid: He's lost it. Big time.
