Big Time Rush

Big Time Rush is an American television sitcom which premiered on January 18, 2010 and is currently airing on Nickelodeon.

The series stars Kendall Schmidt as Kendall Knight, James Maslow as James Diamond, Carlos Pena, Jr. as Carlos Garcia, Logan Henderson as Logan Mitchell, and Stephen Kramer Glickman as Gustavo Rocque.

Season 1

Big Time Audition

Kendall: [About to get beat up by the Girl's Field Hockey team] Time Out!!! Carlos, give James the helmet. We gotta protect "The Face".

James: I love you guys!

Kendall: Time in.

---

Gustavo: [During the audition] I need someone who will knock me out of my seat! And as you can tell i'm still in it! Because you have NO TALENT!

Kendall: No talent! No talent! You're the one with no talent! You haven't had a hit in ten years!

Gustavo: Hey! Girl 2 my Heart was a hit nine years ago!

Kendall: Girl 2 my Heart, let me see if I can remember that rock classic!

---

Kendall: [With the police holding him, his friends, and the old lady] Hey mom! Remember that time I saved you from choking!?! Wow! That was close! And I love you.

Old Lady: I feel so alive!!!!

Big Time Crib

James: Let's do this! (holds up three bandanas)

Kendall, Carlos and Logan: WE'RE NOT WEARING BANDANAS.

James: BANDANAS ARE COOL!

---

Bitters: Why are the Jennifers dripping KETCHUP on MY PALM WOODS?

---

Gustavo: I realized today, sort of, that if you really want to train dogs properly, you need to throw them a treat now and then. So...enjoy your treat. You're not getting anymore.

---

(Bitters breaks out of the supply closet and into the boys' room)

Logan: You locked him in the supply closet?!

James: No...bandana man did. (holds up a bandana)

Bitters: This is a total lease violation! (sees the swirly slide) ...Man. Nice swirly slide. (to the boys) I want all of you out of here...TOMORROW!

Kelly: How 'bout I add another grand to your "making it happen" fee? (takes a check and gives it to Bitters)

Bitters: Have a Palm Woods day, everybody.

Big Time Bad Boy

Wayne-Wayne: [During the Bad Boy off] My name is Wayne-Wayne on the mic-mic i'm badder than bad I said the City is Ours we're gonna take it like we're men!

Kendall: [During the Bad Boy off] Your rhymes are weak mine fit like a glove Gustavo's gotta face only a mother could love!

Big Time Love Song

Gustavo: [playing on the piano] Any kind of guy you want, that's the guy i'll be...this song, is terrible. IT'S TERRIBLE!!!!!

Katie: Don't you have to be in love to write a love song? I mean, you're not wearing a wedding ring, and don't you hate EVERY LIVING THING?

---

Kelly: You told me to get him to stop sneezing, and I did.

Gustavo: But he can't sing! And we have to sing this love song, because the record company wants a love song, AND I STILL HATE THIS SONG!!!!!

Kelly: Well, he refuses to take an allergy shot, (starts shaking around) AND I'M NOT A NURSE!!!!!

Gustavo: Your yelling has improved. But more like this: GET AN ALLERGY SHOT!!!!!!!

---

Camille: Uh, you told me you didn't have a boyfriend.

Jo: Uh, I don't, but I can't deal with that (the boys fighting over her) every day.

Camille: Oh, boys are stupid. (laughs) Remember Logan's mine.

Jo: Got it.

---

Kendall: And we're not gonna fight over girls anymore, right?

Carlos, James and Logan: Right!

Kendall: We're gonna be CIVILIZED, and only go after girls we meet ALONE and not together. Agreed?

Carlos, James and Logan: Agreed! [Rachel shows up in front of them]

Rachel: Hey, I just arrived at the Palmwoods. Can you tell me where the gym is?

Katie: (sighs) It's past the pool and to the right.

Rachel: Great. Thanks. [as she walks off, the boys stare at her leaving...]

Kendall: She's mine! [the episode ends as the boys all fight trying to reach her]

Big Time Mansion

Kendall: Mom, just one night?

Mrs. Knight: You're too young.

Kendall: I'm not too young. I'm 16.

Logan: Together, we're 64. That's older than you. ...I mean, that is older than you, isn't it?

---

Gustavo: And...CUT!

Kendall: That sounded great, right?

Gustavo: NO. Green Day sounds great. You guys didn't make me wanna vomit.

---

Kendall: Mom, it's time you stopped treating me like a child. AND... [picks up a piece of dinosaur chicken from his plate] It's also time you stopped feeding me dinosaur shaped chicken!

Mrs. Knight: You love your dinosaur chicken.

Kendall: Yeah, when I was EIGHT.

Logan: We are MEN now, Mrs. Knight! (they look behind them to see James and Carlos playing with their dinosaur chicken)

---

[once the boys are in the mansion]

Kendall: Look, we promised that we would do this in a responsible manner. Now, we have 64 years of experience between us in-who am I kidding, i'll race you to the media room!

---

[Kendall is thinking of destroying the lock guarding Gustavo's fridge]

Logan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you crazy? Don't you remember mansion sitting rule number two?

[flashback]

Gustavo: Rule number two! Help yourselves to anything you want in my living room fridge!

[in the mansion]

Logan: That was NOT it.

Kendall, James and Carlos: YES IT WAS!

---

Carlos: GUSTAVO'S $40,000 COUCH!!!

Logan: Get your butts off his couch was rule number three!

Kendall: No, it wasn't!

[flashback]

Gustavo: Rule number three! Keep your butts off my $40,000 Federico Banini couch.

[in the mansion]

Kendall: Okay, maybe it was...

James: Gustavo's gonna kill us, and we're only 64 years old!

Kendall: Which means, we are more than capable of removing a pudding stain from a couch.

---

Logan: There goes rule number four. [he accidentally sits on a remote, which lowers a disco ball that starts playing music]

Carlos: DISCO BALL! [Logan screams as he presses buttons on the remote]

James: RULE NUMBER FIVE! If we break anything, we're fired!

Kendall: EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN!!!!! ALL WE GOTTA DO IS GET THE STAIN OFF THE COUCH, FIND THE CAT AND RAISE THE DISCO BALL! WE CAN DO THIS! TOGETHER!

All four: ALL RIGHT!

---

Gustavo: I love these guys (The Windmills). I don't even eat pulled pork.

Kelly: What about Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan?

Gustavo: Who?

Kelly: Big Time Rush? The guys house-sitting your mansion?

Gustavo: Oh, you mean the monkey-dogs who fight me on everything I say? Well, let's just hope those boys don't give me a reason to dump them, because I know of three windmills that'll be blowing them back to Minnesoty!

---

Kelly: Let's review what you're gonna say to the boys.

Gustavo: (sighs) I like you, and thank you for all the hard work.

Kelly: Good, i'm very proud of you.

Gustavo: Unless they touched anything in my mansion...then it's, "I HATE YOU! AND YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEAAAAAAAAAAD!!!! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!!!!"

Big Time Break

(after Kendall sees that Jo is lying about having a boyfriend)

Jo: ...You set me up.

Kendall: Well, you lied to me.

Jo: I didn't want a boyfriend.

Kendall: Who says I wanted to be your boyfriend?! Because frankly, I don't like dating girls who lie.

Jo: Well, I don't like dating boys who catch me in my lies and make me hire idiot actors who can't remember their names!

Kendall: Well then, I guess we're done here!

Jo: I guess we are!

Kendall: Humph! (they walk off, but quickly walk back to eachother) ...So, do you want to go to the movies sometime?

Jo: Yeah, i'd like that.

Big Time Demos

Kendall: Hey, hey hey. We are NOT toast! What's the one thing we've learned since we got in L.A.?

James: That black is the new black.

Logan: If you drink cold milk on a hot day, you die.

Carlos: That every time you leave your house, your toys come alive.

---

Mercedes: Look, I know we haven't all dated that long, but I just wanted to come back to say... (sighs) I'm sorry.

James: Yeah, you should be sorry! How could you pick THEM over ME?

Mercedes: Because, I never date anyone prettier than me.

James: (turns to the boys) I'm better now.

---

Mercedes: ...It's my fault, Daddy. I lied to them, and I made them be my boyfriends, and then I ate terrible cookies, and then I cried, and then I helped them chimpnap Lolo, and...I love you!

Griffin: Is that true? Because she lies. A lot.

---

Griffin: So what do you say, Lolo? Do you like Big Time Rush? [everyone looks at Lolo, who, after about ten seconds, makes a fart noise.] Ooooooh, the fart noise. Sorry boys, Vampirah wins.

Mercedes: Lolo's wrong, daddy! The vampire fad has one, two years left, max. These guys' songs have infectious melodies, classic pop hooks, and Big Time Rush will crush the 6- to 16-year-old demographic, which is your core music-buying base.

Griffin: Wow. Lolo, I'm transferring you to missile defense. Mercedes, you're my new hit-predicting adviser, and this way, we'll get to spend more time together. Big Time Rush wins! [everyone cheers, and Lolo somersaults while being held] Anything else for my princess?

Mercedes: Well, I never really got a chance to date Logan. [Logan panics]

Griffin: Logan, you're Mercedes' new boyfriend. [Logan pushes James in front of him]

Big Time Party

Carlos: I couldn't decide, so...I texted the first three people in my phone. Abigail Aaron, Andrea Adams, and Al Contacts.

Kendall: [takes Carlos' phone] It says ALL contacts!

James: YOU INVITED YOUR WHOLE PHONE?!?!

---

Mercedes: I hope you're happy, Logan, because my heart is shattered and I will never love again! (Guitar Dude shows up) ...Hey, you're cute. You're my new boyfriend.

Guitar Dude: Cool. (Camille stares at Logan intimidatingly)

Logan: I'm really sorry. I was a jerk. You're really mad at me, right?

Camille: Oh, big time. In fact, i've decided that i'm not talking to you for one whole week. But we can still dance.

Logan: You're really cool. You know that?

Camille: (covers Logan's mouth) Shhhhhh. No talking.

---

James: We're teenagers! If we don't party, WE COULD DIE.

---

Kendall: You know, we're gonna laugh about this someday!

Jo: I'm laughing about it now!

---

Kendall: So we do have things in common! Tricking building managers, dancing, and hockey!

Jo: Yes, yes and still no!

Big Time Jobs

[while the boys are thinking back to times where they recklessly destroy things]

Kendall: Okay, so we do put a little wear and tear on things from time to time.

James: But that's showbiz! Right?

Gustavo: WRONG. And it's time you take responsibility for your actions. By paying me back...my TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!!!

---

James' reflection in the mirror: Look at yourself. Who's handsomer than you?

James: No one.

Reflection: Who's got more style than you?

James: No one!

Reflection: Who's smarter than you?

James: Well, lots of people. But that has nothing to do with being a model!

Katie: Sounds like somebody needs a manager, and I only charge 40% for all your earnings.

Reflection: Tell her it's 50/50 or we walk.

Katie: Deal. Now, we need new headshots, new clothes, a personal stylist, and...you have got to stop talking to a mirror!

---

Freight Train: You didn't really book him a job, did you?

Katie: No, and here's a bunch of modeling agencies. (shows him a paper) Help me out and start calling...HE NEEDS A JOB!

---

Carlos: We have to destroy it!

Kelly: No! Gustavo said you can't break anything else.

C.A.L.: Kelly is dumb, women are weak.

Kelly: Oh, WHAT did he just say?!?!

C.A.L.: You heard me, cupcake.

Carlos and Kelly: OH, IT'S ON! [they take beating devices and run into the foam]

C.A.L.: [as Carlos and Kelly are destroying it] I was just-ow!-kidding! Can't you-ow!-take a joke? Ow! Tell the blender I love herrrrrr- [dies]

---

James' reflection in the mirror: Hey! What are you doing? Take the job.

James: And model an ELBOW?!

Reflection: Not just an elbow. THE elbow. They could have chosen any elbow in the world, but they chose the best. And I want to go back to the pool!

James: ...It is pretty good.

Reflection: You bet it is. Now, let's rock this joint!

---

Gustavo: Okay, so we might put a little wear and tear on things from time to time.

Kelly: But, that's showbiz! Right?

Griffin: No. And it's time you take responsibility for your actions, by paying me back $14,089.

---

Griffin: Make sure you get the rims. I want them to shine like a pirate's boot.

Big Time Blogger

(while the boys are answering questions with the model Deke)

James: My lucky comb. (buzz)

Carlos: Yes! (buzz) No. (buzz) Maybe... (buzz)

Logan: Anti-disestablishmen-terianism. (buzz)

Kendall: Apatosaurus?! (buzz)

James: Golden shoes. (buzz)

Logan: Cheese sticks. (buzz)

James: I'M GETTING A LITTLE FRUSTRATED HERE! (buzz)

Logan: (crying, with Carlos holding him) I was seven, I didn't know what I was doing! (buzz) (after two more buzzes) Would you stop it?!

Carlos: (after four more buzzes) Violence! (buzz)

Male chief: Carlos! Violence is NEVER the answer! The correct answer is seven. (Carlos gets irritated and punches his legs)

Female chief: Okay, according to those answers, we predict Deke will think you're slightly more advanced than cavemen who like corn dogs.

---

Bitters: And now for a true test of skill: double or nothing.

Katie: (typing on her computer) It was a friendly bet. It already is nothing, and i'm trying to think up a blog here.

Bitters: (has a table with three cups) Follow the ball, follow the ball. Where it goes, nobody knows. (he keeps moving the cups around and soon stops)

Katie: Middle.

Bitters: Wrong! (he takes the middle cup, which the ball is under) What?!

---

Deke: Okay, done.

Carlos: Wait, what? That's it?

Deke: [reading his blog] "Big Time Rush is just another band force-fed upon us by the music industry. From the blogger that only writes the truth, it's clear they're full of rehearsed sound bites, choreographed body language and no real substance." (James yelps) "I suspect their words, hair, wardrobe and singing is done for them. Don't buy their album." Bye.

---

Carlos: Life's funny, you know? One day, you're hockey players...then you're a pop band.

Logan: Then...blognappers.

James: Why does he think we're phonies, hm? HE SHOULD LIKE US!

Kendall: Why WOULD he like us?! 'Cause I gotta be honest: I don't like us right now! Worse than that, since when did we start caring about what people think about us? It's what we think about ourselves that matters.

---

Big Time Terror

Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan: THE NEW GIRL?!?!

Logan: You were the ghost?!

Stephanie: And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling cute, hot guys.

---

Katie: [yelling at the boys] What is going on? It's 3:30 in the morning!

Mrs. Knight: Katie, let me handle this. [louder] WHAT IS GOING ON, IT'S 3:30 IN THE MORNING!!!!!

---

Kendall: I cannot believe we can't get rid of Gustavo.

Logan: Yeah, well, I can't believe we can't get rid of a ghost.

Kendall and James: You believe in ghosts?

Logan: I believe in the doo-doos in my pants.

Bitters: [running by yelling] GHOOOST!!!

---

James: We haven't failed this bad since we lost to Duluth East in hockey eight-one.

Carlos: Right, that was the game Kendall and I got ejected from for unsportsmanlike mooning.

Kendall: Wait a minute, that's it!

James: We should moon Gustavo and the ghost?

Kendall: No, we beat Duluth East in the finals later because we were all back on the ice--together.

Carlos, James and Logan: As a team.

Carlos: Right! We're gonna team moon them!

---

Bitters: We have to get rid of that ghost.

Carlos: Don't worry, we'll catch it (pulls out green fishing net) tonight.

Logan: With a fishing net?

Carlos: An ecto net.

Logan: Fishing net.

Carlos: Ecto net!

Logan: It's a fishing net.

Carlos: Ec-to net!

Logan: Fishing net.

Carlos: ECTO NET!

Logan: Oh, let's go fishing--

Carlos: NO FISHING, IT'S AN ECTO NET!

Logan: --WITH IT!

---

Carlos: [to his camera] Okay. Logan, Bitters and I are gonna sleep out here in the lobby to try to catch the ghost.

Logan: There are no ghosts.

[fart noise. Carlos turns around.]

Logan: Dude!

Mr. Bitters: Here that? It was the ghost.

Carlos: [turns back around to the camera] Bitters just ripped one.

Big Time Dance

Camille: (after she throws her shoe at James) Logan, you may not believe this, but...i've never been asked out before.

Logan: No, I believe it.

Camille: This is my first dance, and i'd like to be asked in a way that I can remember. Not by cue cards!

Logan: Cue cards, what are you talking about? (she points to James holding the sign) Are you gonna hit me with a shoe?

Camille: No. And i'm not looking for a prince to ride up on a horse, but how about something with a little flair?

Logan: Flair. (James is dizzy from being hit, and holds up his "Will you go to the dance with me?" sign while walking)

???: Sure, James.

---

James: Except...I spent so much time helping Logan...I never got a chance to ask anybody to the dance.

Rachel: Uh, no...you asked me.

Black girl #1: Uh, no, he asked me.

Black girl #2: No, he hit me with a flying dance disk!

Three other girls: NO, HE ASKED ME!

James: Oh...maybe I did ask a few girls out. (they all glare at him angrily) Ladies! I'm a, i'm a go get some punch, you want- (they get riled and chase him out of the room while yelling) UAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Kendall, Carlos and Logan: ...He'll be fine!

Big Time Sparks

Gustavo: In light of recent skunky events, I have decided...NOT to kill you. (the boys sigh) HOWEVER! You blatantly disregarded my orders to stay away from Jordin Sparks. And proved, once again, you are BAD...LUCK...RUSH!!!

Jordin: Gustavo...they're not bad luck. They're good luck.

Kelly: Um, they knocked you down a well.

Jordin: Yeah, but if I hadn't fallen down the well, I would have never figured out the song.

Gustavo: They helped you figure out the song?

Jordin: Yeah! It's not a solo...it's a duet.

Gustavo: (laughs) Duet? Duet...with Big Time Rush. That is the most-greatest idea i've ever had.

Big Time Fever

Kendall: It's 95 degrees out, WHY is Bitters the only one in the pool? [Bitters waves to them]

Tyler: Hey guys! Check out the sign.

Carlos: [reading the sign near the pool] Adult swim? No kids allowed?!?!

Logan: That's just plain rude!

Kendall: No, no no no no. You guys are reading it wrong! [he pulls out a marker] It says, "Adult swim? No, kids allowed!" [he uses the marker to change it to that. Everyone else jumps into the pool]

---

Gustavo: CUT, cut! Will somebody please tell me why James is ORANGE?!?!?!?!

James: Actually, i'm...mangerine.

---

Kelly: How come all your friends got Hollywood fever, and you didn't?

Gustavo: Because HE has a normal brain, and his friends have the brain of a cricket.

---

Kendall: We think he might have Hollywood Fever. (Kelly looks worried)

Gustavo: (to Kelly) You, don't panic. (to James) You, STOP BEING ORANGE!!! (he tries to take the cans of mangerine spray out of James' hands as he sprays them, which he eventually does. His jacket has mangerine splattered on it) A-HA!

(James pulls out two more cans of mangerine spray, sprays himself with them, and runs out of the room)

Gustavo: Well, that didn't work. Let's try this. (he throws the cans on the floor) Fix your FRIEND, or I will FIRE him, and REPLACE him, with someone...who's not...ORANGE!!!!!!!

---

[a whole bunch of people approach Kendall, who is wearing sunglasses and has two water guns]

Kendall: [chuckles] Looks like you guys beat the heat. [they look at him. He runs]

---

Carlos: Yo, Gustav! I want a solo on the next album or record.

Jennifers: And, his new name is Jennifer!

Carlos: Okay, maybe not that, but the band's name is Carlos and the Rush.

---

Gustavo: We must divide and conquer! Kendall, you take Bongo Boy and drum some sense into him. Kelly, you go find Carlos and remind him that he's NOT A JENNIFER!!!!! And I am getting a shrink for James.

---

Gustavo: Why are you looking at each other and saying things twice?

Big Time Video

Carlos: (after he tells the Jennifers that they're in the music video, he looks at the other three boys and tries to hypnotize them with his watch) You are not mad at me. You are not mad at me...

Logan: Yes we are! (Jo is passing by with a suitcase and looks upset)

Kendall: No! Oh, no no no no no no no. (he runs up to her)

Jo: Kendall, I need your help.

Kendall: You can be in our video!

Jo: Really?

Kendall: Yep.

Jo: I was just going to see if you could fix this squeaky wheel, but...thanks. [she kisses him on the cheek, but the others look at him displeased]

Kendall: Okay, so I panicked!

---

Gustavo: Boys...as you start to get famous, people will start to ask you for favors. Like a fashion photographer, that wants to direct a ROCK video, even though he has no experience.

Marcos: So Marcos get the job?!

Gustavo: No. (Marcos looks upset) You see what I did there? Even when Marcos starts crying (which he does), I still say...A NO. (Marcos continues crying) Now, go tell your friend that she's NOT IN THE VIDEO!!!

Carlos: (trying to hypnotize Gustavo with his watch) She WILL be in the video...she WILL be in the video...

Gustavo: EUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Carlos backs up)

---

Director: Big Time Rush...all alone. Nobody else! On the tallest building...in the sanseis.

Carlos: I'm afraid of heights.

Logan: I hate tall buildings.

Kendall: Nosebleed!

James: I get nauseous when I stand up! (he stands up, then faints)

Gustavo: NEXT!

(scene cuts to having another director, this one being a female)

Director: They're in a magical underwater city...without girls.

Logan: Can't swim.

Kendall: Me neither.

Carlos: I'm afraid of sharks! (hides)

James: I get nauseous just drinking water! (drinks some out of a cup and faints)

Gustavo: NEXT!

---

Carlos: We are so dead.

James: Yep.

Kendall: Which is WHY we need to find a crazy, creative Hollywood director who will put Camille, the Jennifers, AND Jo in the video.

Logan: Oh, YEAH, like it's just gonna walk RIGHT through the front door. (a maintenance man enters with a plunger)

Maintenance Man: Hey, fellas...I, uh, heard you got a nasty clog.

James: That could work too...

---

Kelly: So do you want me to line up more directors or not?

Marcos: (enters the room) So the pretty pretty car goes into the...

Gustavo: NOOOOOOOO...

Marcos: MARCOS CAN DO THIS! (he leaves. Gustavo turns to Kelly)

Gustavo: All directors are idiots. That's why i'm gonna direct the music video myself.

Kelly: ...Because you're an idiot.

Gustavo: No...because my video is going to be...AWESOME.

---

Camille: So..you put on this entire scharade to trick all of us and our parents into thinking we had acting jobs?!

Logan: Uh, yeah?

Camille: (she slaps Logan, but then looks at him happier) ...That is so sweet!

Logan: Then why did you just slap me right there?!

Camille: Seemed like the thing to do.

---

Gustavo: ALRIGHT! Are you ready to make the best music video of ALL TIME? EVAH???

Kendall: Oh, Gustavo...Kelly said she wanted to see you outside.

Gustavo: Fine! But DO NOT MOVE! (he goes outside and finds Kelly) Hey! Boys said you needed to see me?

Kelly: No? (she gasps. They both go back inside to see there is nothing in the room except the green screen)

Gustavo: I hate those dogs...

---

Camille: Wait...you only have a learner's permit.

Jo: Yeah, don't you need an adult in the car?

Bitters: (thumping on the trunk of the car) LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan: WE'RE GOOD!

---

Gustavo: [claps slowly] We came here to CHEW YOU GUYS OUT!!! But... (Kelly thumps him) Great video.

Kelly: (thumps him again) AND?!?!

Gustavo: Great director...

Marcos: OH! MARCOS LOVES YOU! (jumps into Gustavo's arms and kisses him)

---

[while the boys are driving their new car, and Bitters is locked in the trunk]

Bitters: Guys? How much longer do I have to be in here?!

Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan: TWO MORE MONTHS!!!!!

Big Time Concert

Ted Garcia: Ted Garcia here with the story of a local girl who claims to have been abducted by aliens. Tell us what happened!

Camille: They put a circuit in my brain, and they told me...TO GO SEE BIG TIME RUSH TOMORROW AT THE MUSIC BOX!!!!!!!

---

James: (as he is tied up, to Hawk) Um...are you gonna kill us?

Hawk: No; that'd be stupid.

Hawk: When you mess with the hawk, you get all ten talons!

Logan: Hawks actually only have eight talons.

Hawk: I don't care!

Logan: Okay, just telling you.

---

Kelly: Don't panic. Bands go on late all the time! It's a rock and roll tradition!

Gustavo: Right! We'll just stall them, and leave the curtain DOWN.

---

Griffin: A pre-record deal, a worldwide tour, and immediate release of their album.

Gustavo: My mansion back, my studio fully restocked, and the dogs want something called, uh, "Sebastian".

Griffin: Done.

Kelly: AND, I want you to go straight to that studio, and write a hundred times, "I WILL NEVER DO THIS TO BIG TIME RUSH AGAIN"! (Griffin flees, and Kelly and Gustavo knuckle clash)

---

(as the crowd goes insane and chases the boys off stage)

Jo: (jealously) Oh, we've got some serious competition.

Camille: We can take 'em! MOVE!

---

(while in concert training)

Logan: What if we have an itch?

Gustavo: DON'T!

Logan: (frightened) Uh, okay.