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Alice in Wonderland (1951 film)

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Alice

Alice in Wonderland is a 1951 American animated musical fantasy-adventure film produced by Walt Disney. It is about a young girl named Alice who follows a white rabbit into a world that is illogical and absurd, but later wishes to go home.

Directed by Clyde Geronimi and Wilfred Jackson. Written by Milt Banta, Del Connell, William Cottrell, Joe Grant, Winston Hibler, Dick Huemer, Dick Kelsey, Tom Oreb, Bill Peet, Erdman Penner, Joe Rinaldi, Ted Sears, and John Walbridge. Based on Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll.
A world of wonders in One Great Picture

Alice

[edit]
  • [while crawling through the rabbit hole] After all, we've haven't been invited, and curiousity often leads to trouble! [As Alice finishes her sentence, she falls down the hole]
  • [while magically floating down the rabbit hole] Well! After this, I shall think nothing of falling down stairs.
  • Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with... You-Know-Who.
  • It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.
  • [to the pink flamingo mallet] Do you want us both to lose our heads?!

Dialogue

[edit]
[First Lines]
Alice's sister: [reading from a history book] "...Who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand..." Alice? [camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a chain of daisies]
Alice: Hmm? Oh, I'm listening.
Alice's sister: "And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate." [Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her face] Alice? Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?
Alice: I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?
Alice's sister: My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.
Alice: In this world, perhaps, but in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.
Alice's sister: Your world? Huh! What nonsense. Now...
Alice: [getting inspiration] Nonsense?
Alice's sister: Once more, from the beginning.
Alice: [to her cat, Dinah] That's it, Dinah. If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? [Dinah meows to her, shaking her head] In my world, you wouldn't say "meow". You'd say, "Yes, Miss. Alice". [Dinah meows as Alice picks her up] Oh, but you would. You'd be just like people, Dinah. And all the other animals, too. Why, in my world... Cats and rabbits / would reside in fancy little houses, / and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers. / In a world of my own... / All the flowers / would have very extra special powers. / They would sit and talk to me for hours / when I'm lonely in a world of my own. / There'd be new birds, / lots of nice and friendly how-de-do birds. / Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds / within that world of my own. / I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song that I could understand. / I keep wishing it could be that way / because my world would be a Wonderland.
I'm late, I'm late.
Alice: [Dinah meows to her] Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat... and a watch!
The White Rabbit: Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
Alice: Now, this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for? [running after him] Please, sir!
The White Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say "hello". Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice: Curiouser and curiouser. [runs up to the small door by pulling back the curtains and turns the Doorknob, it starts talking]
The Doorknob: D'ooooh!
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...
The Doorknob: Whew. Quite alright, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice: You see, I was following...
The Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn?
Alice: Please, sir.
The Doorknob: Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?
Alice: [looking through the Doorknob's keyhole] There he is! I simply must get through.
The Doorknob: Sorry. You're much too big. Simply impassable.
Alice: You mean "impossible"?
The Doorknob: No, impassable. Nothing's impossible. Why don't you try the bottle on the table?
Alice: Table? [a table and a small bottle magically appear out of the shadows] Oh!
The Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Alice: [reading the bottle's label] "Drink Me." [uncorks the bottle] Hm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.
The Doorknob: Beg your pardon?
Alice: [laughs] I was just giving myself some good advice. [sighs] But... [drinks from the bottle] Mmm... tastes like, uh... cherry tart. [unknowingly shrinks down to the size of the table; takes another sip] Custard. [shrinks down again, barely holding onto the bottle; takes another drink] Pineapple. [shrinks down so much, she's now even smaller than the bottle itself and struggling with its weight] Roast turkey… [finally aware of the potion's effect] Goodness! [unable to support the bottle any longer, slips and drops it] What did I do?!
The Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: [runs up to the Doorknob; delighted] But look! I'm just the right size!
[She's about to open the door, but the Doorknob pulls away]
The Doorknob: No use. [laughs] I forgot to tell you. I'm locked!
Alice: Oh, no!
The Doorknob: [stops laughing] But of course, you've got the key, so-
Alice: What key?
The Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there.
[A key magically appears on top of the table and Alice fails to reach it when she tries to climb up]
Alice: Oh, dear! Whatever will I do?
The Doorknob: Try the box, naturally.
[A tiny box magically appears in front of Alice]
Alice: Oh. [opens the lid, revealing cookies labeled, "Eat Me"; takes one] "Eat Me." All right. But goodness knows what this will do. [takes a bite and grows bigger as she hits her head on the ceiling] What did you say?
The Doorknob: I said a little of that went a long way. [laughs]
That's logic.
Alice: Mr. Rabbit. Oh, Mr. Rabbit. Oh, dear. I'm sure he came this way. Do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmm. Not here. I wonder... No. I suppose he must have... [upon seeing Tweedledee and Tweedledum] Why, what peculiar little figures. "Tweedledee," and "Tweedledum."
Tweedledum: [honk] If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.
Tweedledee: [beep] Contrariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us.
Both: That's logic.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum: [singing together] How d'ya do? And shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How d'ya do? And shake hands and state your name and business. [both spoken] That's manners!
Alice: [after the Walrus and the Carpenter song] That was a very sad story.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum: Aye, but there's a moral to it.
Alice: Oh, yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.
The White Rabbit: Why, Mary-Ann! What are you doing out here?
Alice: Mary-Ann?
The White Rabbit: Don't just do something, stand there... Uh... no, no! Go, go! Go get my gloves! I'm late!
Alice: But late for what? That's just what I...
The White Rabbit: My gloves! [Blows trumpet] At once, do you hear!?
Alice: Goodness. I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah next.
The White Rabbit: We need a lazard with a liddle... a lad... can you help us?
Bill the Lizard: At your service, gov'nor.
The Dodo: Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?
Bill the Lizard: Why, gov'nor, I've been down more chimneys...
The Dodo: Excellent, excellent. Now, just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.
Bill the Lizard: Righto, gov'nor... Monster? Aaaaah!
The Dodo: [singing] We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!
The White Rabbit: [singing] We'll smoke the monster ou... [realizes what he just sang] NO! No-ho! My poor house and furniture!
Alice: Oh, but that's nonsense. Flowers can't talk.
The Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.
The Iris: If there's anyone worth talking to.
The Daisy: Or about. [giggles]
The Pansies: And we sing, too!
Alice: You do?
The Tulips: Oh, yes! Would you like to hear "Tell it to the Tulips"?
The Delphiniums: No, let's sing about us.
The Violet: We know one about the shy violet.
The Lilies: Oh, no, not that old thing! Let's do "Lovely lily at the valley"!
The Rose: Girls! We shall sing "Golden Afternoon". That's about all of us.
The Daisy: What kind of a garden d'you come from?
Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.
The Daisy: [gasps, to the Iris] Do you suppose she's a wildflower?
Alice: [giggles] Oh, no. I'm not a wildflower.
The Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?
Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.
The Daisy: Ever see an Alice with a blossom like that?
The Iris: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?
Who R U?
The Caterpillar: [meeting Alice] Who... 'are/R'... 'you/U'?
Alice: I- I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...
The Caterpillar: I do not 'see/C.' Explain yourself.
Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know.
The Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.
The Caterpillar: 'You/U'? Who/O 'are/R' 'you/U'?
Alice: Well, don't you think you should tell me... [coughs from the smoke] Who/O, you are first?
The Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.
The Caterpillar: It is not.
Alice: Well, it is to me.
The Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and...
The Caterpillar: Recite.
Alice: Hm? Oh! Oh, yes, sir. Um, how doth the little bumblebee improve each...
The Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How... [realizes nothing is coming out of his pipe and notices one of his set of hands grasping on the tube, clogging it; he slaps the hands to get it off the pipe; Alice giggles a bit, but the Caterpillar gives Alice a displeasing look] How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer... [shakes a bit] How cheer... [notices one set of feet teetering on the leaf he's sitting on; he grabs them and puts them back on the leaf; Alice giggles again] How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws. [looks at Alice]
Alice: Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.
The Caterpillar: I know. I have improo-ooved it. [blows smoke in Alice's face; she coughs]
Alice: Well, if you ask me...
The Caterpillar: You/U? [scoffs] Who/O... Are/R... You/U?
[Alice coughs as her head is enveloped in smoke. Fed up with the Caterpillar's nonsense, she storms off before stopping to kick a cloud of smoke off her shoe. She turns back to face the Caterpillar and leaves, her head turned up]
The Caterpillar: [now noticing Alice leaving] You there. Girl. Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!
Alice: Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now... [She returns to the Caterpillar, blowing a smoke arrow at a smoke target] Well?
The Caterpillar: Keep your temper.
Alice: Is that all?
The Caterpillar: No. Exaketededly, what is your problem?
Alice: Well, it's exak... exact... Well, it's precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.
The Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, after all, 3 inches is such a wretched height, and...
The Caterpillar: [suddenly angry] I am exaketededly 3 inches high, and it is a very good height, indeed! [starts smoking his hookah faster and faster until he is enveloped in black smoke]
Alice: But I'm not used to it. And you needn't... shout! [she blows the cloud away as she says this, showing the Caterpillar's skin, shoes, hands, and hookah laying there] Oh, dear.
The Caterpillar: [now a butterfly] By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
Alice: One side of what?
The Caterpillar: ...And the other side will make you grow shorter. [he flies away]
Alice: [shouting] The other side of what?
The Caterpillar: [equally as loud; hostile] THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!
The Bird in the Tree: A serpent! Help! Help! A serpent, a serpent!
Alice: Oh, but please! Please!
The Bird in the Tree: Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpeeeent!
Alice: But I'm not a serpent!
The Bird in the Tree: Serpent- Indeed? Then, just what are you?
Alice: I'm just a little girl.
The Bird in the Tree: Little? Ha! Little? [laughs]
Alice: Well, I am! I mean, I-I was.
The Bird in the Tree: And I suppose you don't eat eggs, either?
Alice: Yes, I do, but, but, but...
The Bird in the Tree: I knew it! I knew it! Serpent! Serpeeeent!
Alice: Oh, for goodness sake!
Most everyone's mad here.
The Cheshire Cat: [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice: Now, where in the world do you suppose that...?
The Cheshire Cat: Lose something?
Alice: [turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her] Oh! Uh, hehe, I...I, no, no, I mean, I, I was just wondering...
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, that's...quite alright. One moment please. [Two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and play harmonica notes. The full cat form appears] Second chorus. [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
Alice: Why, why, you're a cat!
The Cheshire Cat: A Cheshire Cat. [starts to disappear] All mimsy were the borogroves...
Alice: Oh, wait! Don't go, please!
The Cheshire Cat: [reappears] There you are! Third chorus...
Alice: Oh, no, no. Thank you, but I just wanted to ask which way I ought to go.
The Cheshire Cat: Well, that depends on where you ought to get to.
Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I...
The Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. [disappears and reappears on another tree branch] Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
Alice: Who did?
The Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.
Alice: He did?
The Cheshire Cat: He did what?
Alice: He went that way.
The Cheshire Cat: Who did?
Alice: The white rabbit!
The Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?
Alice: But didn't you just say-? I mean- Oh, dear!
The Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head? If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no, no, no...
The Cheshire Cat: Or, there's the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I shall visit him...
The Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people!
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. [laughs maniacally and begins to disappear] You may have noticed that I'm not ALL THERE myself, [laughs creepily as he fades away] And the mome raths outgrabe!
The March Hare and the Mad Hatter: [run over to Alice] No room! No room! No room!
Alice: I thought there was plenty of room.
The March Hare: Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited.
The Mad Hatter: I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed.
The Dormouse: Very, very rude indeed.
Alice: I'm very sorry. But I did enjoy your singing, and I wonder if you could tell me…
The March Hare: You enjoyed our singing?
The Mad Hatter: Oh, what a delightful child! I'm so excited. We never get compliments. You must have a cup of tea.
The March Hare: Ah, yes, indeed. The tea. You must have a cup of tea.
Alice: That would be very nice. I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. [March Hare offers her a cup of tea] Thank you.
The March Hare: [yanks her teacup away] Birthday? Ha-ha-ha. My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party!
The Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Alice: Unbirthday? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
The March Hare: It's very simple. Now, 30 days has Septem -No, wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then, you - [laughs] She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.
Would you like more tea?
The Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
The March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
The Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
The Dormouse: [Panics but calms down] There’s a cat….
The Mad Hatter: [after they have restrained the Dormouse] Ah, thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
The March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
Alice: But I didn't think...
The March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
Careful! SHE's STARK RAVING MAD!
The Mad Hatter: What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-
The March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
Alice: [frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you-
The March Hare: I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.
The Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
The Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
The Mad Hatter: [shocked] WHY IS A WHAT?!
The March Hare: [nervously] Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING M-MAD!
Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
The Mad Hatter: [nervously] Easy! Don't get excited!
The March Hare: [trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea?
Alice: [angrily] "Have a cup of tea", indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!
The March Hare: THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
The White Rabbit: N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice: The White Rabbit!
The White Rabbit: I'm so late! I'm so very late.
The Mad Hatter: [snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why, this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!
The White Rabbit: Two days slow?
The Mad Hatter: Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork] Why, this watch is full of wheels!
The White Rabbit: [shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH! OH, MY WHEELS AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-
The Mad Hatter: BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!
The March Hare: [shouts into Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!
The White Rabbit: [confused] B-b-butter?
The Mad Hatter: Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha-ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you!
The Rabbit: Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!
The Mad Hatter: Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about?
The March Hare: Tea?
The Mad Hatter: Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE!
The White Rabbit: NO!
The Mad Hatter: TEA! HE-HE-HE!
The White Rabbit: [shocked] NO! NOT TEA!
The March Hare: Sugar?
The Mad Hatter: SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, yes! [jams the spoons straight into the watch]
The White Rabbit: [shocked] Oh please, BE CAREUL!
The March Hare: JAM?
The Mad Hatter: JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM!
The White Rabbit: No! No! Not jam!
The Mad Hatter: Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.
The March Hare: MUSTARD?
The Mad Hatter: Mustard! Yes...what? MUSTARD?! Don't let's be silly! Lemon, that's different, there. THAT should do it! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT!
The March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD!
Alice: OH, MY GOODNESS!
The White Rabbit: OH, DEAR!
The Mad Hatter: I DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!
The March Hare: MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!
The Mad Hatter: OH, LOOK! OH, MY GOODNESS!
The March Hare: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]
The Mad Hatter: Two days slow. That's what it is.
The White Rabbit: Oh, my watch...
The Mad Hatter: It was?
The White Rabbit: And it was an unbirthday present, too.
The March Hare: Well, in that case...
The Mad Hatter and March Hare: [sings both] A very merry unbirthday to you!
Alice: Oh, dear. Now, I- now, I shall never get out. Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. B-But who'd ever think to look for me here? [sigh] Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice. [sings] But I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I'd love the change. Should something strange begin? [begins to cry] Well... I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should've known there'd be a price to pay, someday... Someday... I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it! [cries harder] Will I ever learn to do the things I should? [continues crying]
The Chorus: Will I ever learn / learn to do the things I should?
The Cheshire Cat: [singing in disappear] Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm / And the mome raths outgrabe
Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat, it's you!
The Cheshire Cat: Whom did you expect? The white rabbit, perchance?
Alice: Oh, no, no, no. I-I'm through with rabbits. I want to go home! [blows nose] But I can't find my way.
The Cheshire Cat: Naturally. That's because you have no way. All ways here you see, are the [ominously] QUEEN'S ways!
Alice: But I've never met any queen.
The Cheshire Cat: You haven't? You ha-VEN'T? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you, simply mad! [chuckles, then rolls over and almost disappears] The mome raths outgrabe...
Alice: Please, please! H-How can I find her?
The Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut.
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / We dare to stop or waste a drop / So let the paint be spread / We're painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / Bum bum bum bum / Oh-h-h-h / Painting the roses red / And many a tear we shed
The Card Painter: Because we know
The Card Painter, the Card Painter: They'll cease to grow
The Card Painter: In fact, they'll soon be dead
The Card Painter, the Card Painter: Oh!
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: And yet we got ahead / Painting the roses red / Red, red, red, red / Red, red, red, red / Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red...
Alice: [singing] Oh, pardon me, but, Mr. 3 / Why must you paint them red?
Alice: [singing] Painting the roses red...
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: [singing] We're painting the roses red. Don't tell the Queen what you have seen or say that's what we said, but we're painting the roses red.
Alice: Yes, painting the roses red.
The Card Painter: Not pink!
The Card Painter: Not green!
Alice: Not aquamarine!
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: We're painting the roses red!
The White Rabbit: Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts! [The crowd cheers] ... And the King.
The Card: Hooray!
The Queen of Hearts: Hmm! Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.
The Card Painter: Oh, no, Your Majesty, please! It's all *his* fault!
The Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!
The Queen of Hearts: You?
The Card Painter: No, Deuce!
The Queen of Hearts: The Deuce, you say?
The Card Painter: Not me! The 3!
The Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads!
The Queen of Hearts: And who is this?
The King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?
The Queen of Hearts: Off with his head!
The King of Hearts: Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what Her Majesty said.
The White Rabbit: Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...
The Queen of Hearts: Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.
The White Rabbit: ...Thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.
The Queen of Hearts: [to Alice] Now...are you ready for your sentence?
Alice: Sentence? But there has to be a verdict first...
The Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
Alice: But that just isn't the way...
The Queen of Hearts: [shouting] All ways are...!
Alice: ...Your ways, Your Majesty.
The Queen of Hearts: Yes, my child. [giggles] [yelling] OFF WITH HER-!
The King of Hearts: Consider, my dear. We called no witnesses. Couldn't we hear... maybe one or two, huh? Maybe...?
The Queen of Hearts: Oh, very well- [yelling] BUT GET ON WITH IT!
The King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
The March Hare: Nothing.
The Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?
The March Hare: Nothing whatever!
The Queen of Hearts: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Jury, write that down!
The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OOOOFF WITH YOUR HAT!
The Mad Hatter: Oh, my! [takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup, giggles]
The King of Hearts: Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?
The Mad Hatter: I was home drinking tea. [pours tea into a cup] Today, you know, was... [drinks tea] ...my unbirthday.
The King of Hearts: Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday, too!
The Queen of Hearts: It is?
The March Hare: It is?
The Card Guards: IT IS??? [to Alice's horror]
The Queen of Hearts: [after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the tapestry] Somebody's head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS! [RRRRIP! The Queen's face covered by jam, seeing that Alice must have done this] AH-HA!
Alice: [throws away the gavel and jam and stuffs her hands in her apron's pockets, which soon reveals she still has both parts of the mushroom] The mushroom! [she quickly eats both parts]
The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH HER HE-! [covers her mouth in shock as Alice is grown to the height of the courtroom]
Alice: [to the card guards, after she grows to the height of the courtroom] Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing, but a pack of cards.
The King of Hearts: [reading through a rulebook] Rule forty-two: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!
Alice: I am not a mile high! And I’m not leaving.
The Queen of Hearts: [nervously] S-Sorry. Rule forty-two, you know.
Alice: Now, as for you, Your Majesty. [unaware that she is shrinking quickly] Or Your Majesty, indeed. Why, you're not a queen. Why, you're just a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old ty... [finally realizes she has shrunk down] ...tyrant.
The Queen of Hearts: [laughs evilly] And, uh, what were you saying, my dear?
The Cheshire Cat: [appears suddenly, to Alice's horror] Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant! [disappears laughing]
The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OOOOOOOFF WITH HER HEAAAAD!
The King of Hearts: [uses his crown as a megaphone] You heard what Her Majesty said. Off with her head.
The Queen of Hearts: There she goes! Don't let her get away! Off with her head!
[Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob]
The Doorknob: [tries to open the door] D'oh! I'm - still locked, you know!
Alice: [in horror] But the Queen! I simply *must* get out!
The Doorknob: [chuckles] But you *are* outside.
Alice: [releases her grip on the Doorknob] What?
The Doorknob: [opens his mouth] See for yourself. [Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow]
Alice: Why - why, that's me! I'm asleep!
The Queen of Hearts: [shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other Wonderland characters] Don't let her get away! Off with her head!
Alice: [in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice! [the mob comes closer] Alice! Please, wake up, Alice! [as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree]
[last lines]
Alice: [voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice!
Alice's sister: [changes to her sister's] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?
Alice: [waking up after escaping the mob] Hm? Oh. Oh, uh, how doth the little crocodile improve each shining tail and pour the waters of the...
Alice's sister: Alice, what *are* you talking about?
Alice: Oh, I'm sorry. But you see, the Caterpillar said...
Alice's sister: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sakes. Alice, I... Oh, well. Come along, it's time for tea.

About Alice in Wonderland

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  • No story in English literature has intrigued me more than Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. It fascinated me the first time I read it as a schoolboy and as soon as I possibly could after I started making animated cartoons, I acquired the film rights to it. People in his period had no time to waste on triviality, yet Carroll with his nonsense and fantasy furnished a balance between seriousness and enjoyment which everybody needed then and still needs today.

Cast

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