Amazing Race

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The Amazing Race is an American television reality game show in which teams of two people, who have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.

Season 1[edit]

The Race Begins[edit]

Drew: You have to hit six numbers to get a live human being on the phone.

Kevin: It's amazing that you even got up this morning and tied your shoes.

Drew: Nothing's free, Kevin! We're in Africa! You go to the Statue of Liberty, is the guy giving these things [maps] away for free? For cryin' out loud! Free!

Drew: Zambia. That's where we are.
Kevin: That's Namibia, jackass.

Drew: You have to approach people in an affable, friendly way! You don't do it like you're in New York!

Leslie: We're in, what, seventh place?
Kim: I don't know, I can't do math right now.

Kim: God, there are a lot of bugs out in the jungle. Go figure.

Kevin: Swing, you fat bastard, swing!

Ana: Once a moron, always a moron.
Matt: Well, you fell in love with this moron.

Divide And Conquer[edit]

Karyn: When we win the money, he has to marry me.

Drew: What's this elephant?
Kevin: What elephant?
Drew: This little statue here.
Kevin: It's probably a little...a little tchotchke!

Kevin: You're gonna get the window, you jerk.
Drew: Don't worry about it.
Kevin: You think you're whatchamacallit from Wild Kingdom. Jackass.

Kevin: Is that an impala?
Drew: Get the camera, get the camera!
Kevin: It's a goat, it's a goat.

Leslie: Who wants to go to Paris? I don't want to go to Paris. I hate Paris.

Leslie: I'm looking for four [tickets]. And she's [Amie] not with me.

Guido: How the hell can they help us? We lived in Paris for two years!

Drew: How are you, buddy? You hangin' in there? Your legs hurtin'?
Kevin: I'm an idiot! I'm a friggin' idiot.
Drew: That's my boy. Always keepin' a sense of humor.

Amie: You're a fat bitch!

Leslie: She screamed at me like she'd scream at her boyfriend.

Paul: How do they jump in our cab and just take it? In New York, they would have grabbed her out by the hair.

Karyn: I'm really disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed.
Lenny: What did you say?
Karyn: I'm disappointed.
Lenny: Well, that ain't nothing new.

Emily: The only monument I know is that Arc d'Whatever.

Leslie: I don't know where that little cute couple that hates our guts are.

Karyn: You're not going to shake my hand? We're not out, and you're not going to shake my hand?

Home For Some[edit]

Rob: Life is a game of minutes.

Frank: Onward to victory!

Amie: [while sleeping outside] Ah, this is the life.

Kevin: We have no food, we have no water...we're all set.

Drew: Good night, Kevin.
Kevin: Good night, Drew. [pauses] Good night, John-Boy.

Nancy: Why didn't you go to the hotel?
Amie: What hotel?

Drew: I just don't think the city's [Paris] anything special. I rate it no better than SoHo.

Drew: Geez, why did I think it was gonna be an old guy who looked like Ben Franklin?

Joe: I can't wait to see the big pendulum!

Margarita: Do you need me?
Frank: I just need your brain, I don't need your emotions.

Rob: The Guidos try to hold other people back with deceit and trickery.

Joe: Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey, big strong guys like you, how come you're not doing the steps? Don’t you need a little aerobic exercise?

Joe: They don’t know Paris, and they don't know where they're going.

Joe: It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years.

Drew: Who's better than us, here, on top of the South of France? With everybody lookin' at our behinds, no less.

Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: Welcome. You are -
Joe: We're team number three!
Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: You are team number four.

Brenda: Who knew that there were two Foucault pendulums in Paris?

Colossal Showdown[edit]


Margarita: It wasn't about not working together.

Joe: It's about winning now. It's about winning and not letting anybody else win.

Margaretta: David and I have been married for forty years. We're just doing our normal thing. There's nothing on this trip that will make or break us.

Bill: Control the game, period. Play the game our way. Group Guido arranged the whole passage. No one can leave without this ticket. I controlled the group, intimidated the whole group by speaking French for two hours to the people that were there, also leaving doubt in their mind what I was doing. The other contestants? Of course, we're playing them like a violin, you know?

Lenny: I want to rip their heads off and show them their hearts.

Drew: What does it say? "Go Here"? Oh. I thought it said "Go Home".

Paul: They were rippin' my skin off.
Amie: Really? Mine was pretty nice.

Drew: You saw what that was like in Midnight Express.

Joe: The first circle inside the big concentric circle!

Emily: [after lighting the Coliseum on fire] Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, stop!

Kevin: I thought I heard him. You can't miss that mouth.

Kevin: Take the elevator to the Coliseum floor!

Frank: Pit Of Death, here I come.

Amie: I'll do it. I gotta pee, but I'll do it.

Amie: Olympic torch, kiddos!

Phil: David and Margaretta, you're the last team to arrive at this leg. You've been eliminated. I'm sorry to tell you that.
Dave: And I'm sorry to hear it. But I want to tell you, this is a tough group to compete against, and I don't think it's any disgrace to lose to them. They're all great people, and we did our best, and we wish them lots of luck.

Desert Storm[edit]


Drew: Alright, so what do you think that arrow means? I gotta pee, I might as well do it right here.
Kevin: It means go right, stupid. It means Drew is a dumbass.

Season 4[edit]

We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing[edit]

Kelly: You’re always right, I’m always wrong. We’re done. [sighs]
Jon: Kelly, go [bleep] yourself.
Kelly: What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? I’ll tell you what, Jon, you’re walking a thin line. This was a chance we decided to take, but you will not talk to me like that.

Season 5[edit]

It Just Turned Ugly Right Now[edit]

Mirna: The prostatute would know where the discothecque is wouldn't she?

Karen: Mirna & Charla are at a great disadvantage-
Linda: And their kickin' our butts!

Are You Good At Puzzles?[edit]

Marshal: Stop looking at the camel.

It's Okay, Run Them Over![edit]

Colin: My ox is broken!

Season 6[edit]

Tell My Mom I Love Her[edit]

Hayden: We have been just lollygagging and when I’m not high-paced and aggressive, we suck. Where do I go?
Aaron: Hayden, I have not a clue.
Hayden: How do you not know?!
Aaron: You are such–
Hayden: No! I’m not a bitch! I'm not any of that! We’re lost going out of here! Aaron, you need to do something or I’m going to hyperventilate!

Season 7[edit]

Courteous? This Is A Race![edit]

Ryan: Were about do take a zip like down the mountain. Were gonna be the first ones to load test it.

Ryan: hey look out for the cactuses!

The Whole Country Hates Me[edit]

Lynn: Oh my god, I just got totally hated.

Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?[edit]

[Rob and Amber steal Debbie and Bianca's taxi]
Cab Driver: I'm waiting for them.
Rob: Oh no, it's okay. We'll take them. We're going to go with you. How much? How much did they pay?
Cab driver: Four.
Rob: I'm paying ten. Open it up.
[Rob and Amber drive away in the cab]
Rob: That'll teach them for accusing someone of lying.
Bianca: Debbie, do you see a cab?
Debbie: No.
Bianca: This is retarded. No we got to catch another cab.

Phil Keoghan: A roadblock is a task in only one person may perform. In this roadblock, that person has to eat a traditional Argentine meal. They consist of cow ribs, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow udder, an entire kidney, and part of a cow's saliva gland. Each person's portion weighs four pounds. When they finish eating, they'll get their next clue.

[Deana takes the meat roadblock]
Lynn: Go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, it's your vomit, go Deana.
Deana: What is all this stuff? I'm not going to-
Ray: Do your best.
Deana: My stomach ain't big enough for this.
Ray: We've made a terrible mistake.

What A Gaucho You Are[edit]

Alex and Lynn, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce and Brian and Greg are on the first flight to Buenos Aires getting ready to depart.

Alex: Rob and Amber didn't make it, yay!
Lynn: I'm so excited that they didn't make it. Survive that.
[Rob and Amber gets on the plane for Buenos Aires]
Brian: No freaking way.
Greg: That's horsecrap!
Rob: Rob, how's your stomach? [laughing]
Kelly: Rob's strategy to quit worked and that just made me sick.
Lynn: If that had been any other team, they would have literally gotten an applause; but the fact that it was Rob and Amber, it was just terrible.
Alex: I hate them. I hate them so much.

Lynn: The bottom line is they're [Rob and Amber] kind of like an STD. You gotta protect yourself from them and the only way you can do it is just keep yourself away from them.

[Ray shows contempt for Meredith and Gretchen]
Ray: Those people don't belong in this game with us... I'm not losing to a 70-year-old man and his wife.

[Susan and Patrick's boat stops working]
Patrick: We already know that we're in last place and that was the end of Patrick and Susan.

I've Been Wanting A Facelift For A Long Time[edit]

[Ray accidentally hits Deana's head with the pounding stick in the food and water detour]
Deana: Ow, Ray!
Ray: Deana.
Deana: You could at least apologize.
Ray: The problem is that we don't work together.
Deana: You can do this yourself.
Ray: That's right, give up!

Houston, We Have An Elephant[edit]

Kelly: You told me to "shut the 'F' up".
Ron: No, I didn't!
Kelly: You piece of trash redneck.

Mow 'Em Down Like Grass[edit]

Rob and Amber arrives first at the Lucknow mat only to find out that this is a double-length leg.

Phil Keoghan: Rob and Amber, Welcome to Lucknow.
Rob and Amber: Thank you.
Phil Keoghan: You guys probably think that this is the end of the leg,
Amber: But?
Phil Keoghan: I don't want to hold you up. I have your other clue.
Amber: Are you serious?
Phil Keoghan: You're still racing. This leg is not over.

We Have A Bad Elephant[edit]

[Uchenna and Joyce reach the Fast Forward and find out they have to participate in a head shaving ritual.]
Joyce: I knew that was coming. I freaking knew it!
Joyce: [Sobbing] It's already gone.

[Amber's camel becomes uncontrollable]
Amber: Go! Go! Go! No! No!
Gretchen: Good, good he's going in the other direction. Go around the track the other way. [laughing]
Rob: Oh God, please no. Oh God no.

Gretchen: We've got an obstinate camel!

We Got A Gnome! We Got A Gnome![edit]

The Devil Made Me Do It[edit]

Amber: We have no idea what a dervish is.
Rob: I think it's a topless woman.

Ron: She [Kelly] really surprised me and I think I've seen everything that I want to see out of her on this race.

Five Continents, 25 Cities, And More Than 40,000 Miles[edit]

[Rob and Amber's cab is pulled over by the police]
Joyce: You gotta cooperate with the police. That's too bad.
Rob: That cop probably just cost us a million dollars.

[The final three teams are in Jamaica performing the final detour of the race building rafts and Ron and Kelly are falling behind.]
Kelly: I want you to look at everybody else. They're a lot farther than us and look what they're doing.
Ron: I understand that. I've never built one of these before. That's what I'm trying to explain to you. When you figure out how to build one, you tell me.
Kelly: Smart "A".

Season 10[edit]

We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches[edit]

Ticket Lady: It’s not okay.
Dustin and Kandice: Can we try? Can we please try?
Ticket Lady: [in a stern voice] I said the flight is closed.
Dustin: She’s just a bitch.
Kandice: She’s so unhelpful and so unkind.
Kandice: We just want to get out of here before I have to see ‘Bama.
Karlyn: That one can’t even look over here. [Karlyn flips the bird at Dustin and Kandice]
Lyn: Don’t do that. That’s ugly.
Karlyn: Sorry.
Rob: I can’t believe they [Dustin and Kandice] yielded ‘Bama, dude. That’s kind of crappy, dude.
Karlyn: We just won’t die, like roaches. [laughing] We gotta keep coming back.

Season 11 All-Stars[edit]

I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio[edit]

Drew: We're five years older, five years more out of shape.
Kevin: I was a circle then. I'm an oval now, I suppose.
John Vito: I've had enough of Rob and Amber. I think America may have also.
Joyce: I can't believe we're doing this again!
Uchenna: This is the chance of a lifetime twice.

Season 12[edit]

EPISODE 1[edit]

Ari: [to donkey] If you lose this race for us, I'm going to kick your ass.
Ari: You listen right here. You make me lose this, I'm gonna cut you up and eat you.
Nathan: Gosh!
Jennifer: Come on sweetheart
Nathan: Gosh!gytttr
Jennifer: You can't yell like that!
Donkey: [Makes donkey noises]
Nathan: I don't know what's wrong with him.
Nathan: The freaks [Kynt and Vyxsin] just got ther

EPISODE 2[edit]

Ron: [to Christina] You need to lose some weight. [Bike falls] Whoa! I should've not made that comment.

EPISODE 4[edit]

Jason: If we don't get eliminated, we're gonna screw over the blondes [Shana and Jennifer].
Phil: Shana and Jennifer, you're team number six.
Jennifer: Whooo!

General Phil-isms[edit]

Phil Keoghan: Mika and Canaan? [long dramatic pause] You are the last team to arrive. I am sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race. [From Season 15]

Phil Keoghan: A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons.

Phil Keoghan: It's a race around the world.

Phil Keoghan: The world is waiting for you. Good luck. Travel safe. Go!

Kendra: [in Amazing Race 6 in Ethiopia] It's like they choose to be poor here.

Joseph: [to Monica in Amazing Race 9] Lift up your spirit before you piss me off.