Better Off Dead (film)

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Better Off Dead is a 1985 film about a teen learning how to move on after his long time girlfriend dumps him for the captain of the ski team. It is set in the 80's in the mythical state of Northern California.

Directed and written by Savage Steve Holland.
Insanity doesn't run in the family, it gallops taglines

Lane Myer[edit]

  • Gee, I'm really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. Doctor says she'll be okay, but she won't be able to eat any spicy foods for awhile.
  • She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.
  • I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.]
  • Two brothers... One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching The Wide World of Sports. So you tell me... Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?

Charles de Mar[edit]

  • I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!
  • This is pure snow. It's everywhere! Have you any idea what the street value of this mountain is?
  • Greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. A fly speck on the map - a rest stop on the way to the ski slope. I can't even get real drugs here!
  • [giving skiing advice] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
  • "C'mon Dude, It's Christmas Eve. ​I could be home right now, drinking this monster eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid."


  • Barney Rubble: [on TV] Hey there, Lane. I know this is a little awkward me being a cartoon and all, I was just wondering how you'd feel if I took out Beth? [laughs]
  • Tree Trimmer: [After Lane falls into a dump truck when trying to commit suicide off of a bridge] Man, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
  • Yee Sook Ree : [Goading Lane into another street race] Lane Meyer, truly a sight to behold. A man beaten. The once great champion... now a study in mopishness. No longer the victory hungry stallion we've raced so many times before, but a pathetic, washed up, aged ex-champion.


Jenny Myer: How was your day?
Lane Myer: Beth just dumped me.
Jenny Myer: Oh, that's nice.

Lane Myer: Johnny...
Johnny: Four weeks, twenty papers, that's two dollars. Plus tip.
Lane Myer: Gee Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane Myer: Well... it's funny see... my mom, had to leave early to take my brother to school and my dad to work cuz...
Johnny: Two dollars... cash.
Lane Myer: See... the problem here is that... my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and uh... my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out, and hijacked a school bus full of... penguins, so it's kind of a family crisis... so come back later? Great.

Monique Junot: I thought if Casanova and I in there had nothing to say to each other, he'd get bored -- go away. Instead he uses it as a chance to put his testicles all over me!
Lane Myer: Sorry, what?
Monique Junot: Uh, how you say... octopus... testicles.
Lane Myer: No, tentacles. N-T. There's a big difference.

Lane Myer: I have a great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in woodshop and the fair housing committee condemned it. I can't.
Monique Junot: "I cannot do it" is your middle name.


  • Insanity doesn't run in the family, it gallops
  • Teenage life has never been darker...or funnier...
  • I want my two dollars!


External links[edit]

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