Charlie's Angels

Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the Police Academy...

Charlie's Angels (1976-1981) is an American crime drama television series which focused on the activities of three female private eyes working for a man they never see.

Season 1

Sabrina: Hi, I've heard about you.

Bloody Mary: Oh yeah, what'd ya hear?

Sabrina: That you're good!

Bloody Mary: You don't win by being good you win by being first.

Kelly: You do lead an exciting life Jill.

Jill: Where would I have been without you?

Kelly: Up to your peaches, baby.

Jill: Oh I know, and he’s waiting in the lobby for me now. I have to go get in the car with him. I wonder what it’s going to be like getting out of a car going forty miles an hour.

Kelly: Count your blessings. Sabrina’s entertaining him tonight at ten thousand feet!

---

Sabrina: Well, I knew you were fast kiddo, but moving in as hostess for the big man on the first day has got to be a record.

Kelly: It must be my bikini. This style is called ‘Bottoms Up.’

Sabrina: If you'd worn the one Charlie had given you, he'd have proposed by now.

Kelly: Well, every time I wear it I get proposals, but not of marriage.

---

Sabrina: Okay we’re late, what are we going to tell Doyle?

Jim: Ah, we’ll tell him we stopped at a motel, he’ll understand that.

Sabrina: Hey, how was I?

Jim: Terrific, terrific.

---

Jill: Right on schedule stewardess Sabrina

Sabrina: Only way to fly.

Kelly: Tacky Sabrina, very tacky.

---

Sabrina: Okay, I’ll go with Jill, I know what we’re looking for and you keep Bartone off our backs, okay?

Kelly: It’s not your backs he’s after.

---

Jill: Well now I know where to come in case of an air raid.

Sabrina: I’ll drink to that.

Jill: Oh Kelly’s right, you are tacky tonight.

'

Charlie: We’ve been hired by Dana Cameron’s parents to find Dana’s killer. Notice anything Angels?

Jill: How could we miss noticing Charlie?

Sabrina: It’s Kelly almost to a T.

Kelly: Really? I don’t think she looks that much like me.

Jill: In that pose she’s a dead ringer. Sorry I wasn’t trying to be funny.

Kelly: You weren’t.

---

Jill: Oh, I forgot my bag.

Sabrina: I thought you were going to take a memory course so you’d stop forgetting things.

Jill: Oh well it didn’t work out to well, I kept forgetting which night the class was.

Sabrina: You heard that, Charlie?

Charlie: Everything, Sabrina. And I've already made arrangements for you three to go to prison

Kelly: Prison? You've got to be kidding, Charlie.

Charlie: It's no joke, Angels.

Jill: You can say that again

Sabrina: Do you have a place to keep a low profile?

Kelly: A motel in Burbank.

Jill: That's as low as a profile can get!

---

Bosley: It is just that we have spent a great deal of time and money in recruiting and training you all and you would be very difficult to replace.

Jill: What he means is he can't find anyone to work as cheap as we do.

---

Sabrina: Now move the bottom just a little bit to the left.

Bosley: I don’t see why the office needs anything like this.

Sabrina: It gives it a little humanity. Try moving it back a hair to the right.

Bosley: You realise I had this office decorated to reassure the clients of our professionalism.

Sabrina: It could only be reassuring if the client were planning a funeral.

Bosley: Unfunny.

---

Kelly: What now?

Sabrina: Well Bosley’s running our files through a computer.

Jill: All our cases?

Sabrina: That’s right. Since the killers already tried for you two, it’s a good bet that I’ll be next.

Kelly: Welcome to the club.

Sabrina: Thanks a lot. I wish it were a little bit more exclusive.

---

Sabrina: After sitting in prison for all those years, I'd wanna see my victim die.

Jill: That's terrific. Remind me never to get you mad at me.

---

Jill: Hey, I'm going to take the girls for some pizza, kind of an almost-victory party. Y'all want to come along?

Kelly: (Indicating to her boyfriend.) Sorry, but we've got other plans.

Jill: Ah, well, that's a healthy activity too. See you.

Bosley: Ah-ah Kelly, you know that Charlie does not like to answer personal questions.

Charlie: That’s true, however I take no offense Kelly. It’s just that thoughts of my marriage tend to remind me of the fellow who woke up one morning to find out he was dead. It ruined what otherwise could have been a beautiful day.

---

Jill: Is Bosley going to meet you at the party?

Sabrina: Yeah, we’re gonna do the fashion designer/model cover.

Jill: I thought Bosley hated that swishy designer bit.

Sabrina: Oh he does. This time I’m the designer and he’s the model.

Jill: Bosley?

Sabrina: This secrecy has gone on long enough. How tall is Charlie? What colour are his eyes?

Bosley: Now, now ladies you know I can not divulge anything.

Jill: Could you at least tell us his shirt size? How else are we going to get him a present for his birthday?

Bosley: His birthday? Where were you when it was my birthday? Nobody asked about that, nobody.

---

Charlie: I was about to explain that your empire was having some trouble lately.

Tony: Trouble? I would call it calculated disaster.

Jill: Like what?

Tony: Equipment breakdowns, arson, busboys walking out of the club on New Years Eve, you name it I’ve had it and now they’re killing off the centrefolds.

Charlie: That’s where you come in.

Kelly: As centrefolds?

Charlie: Kelly, when you took this job you knew there’d be a lot of undercover work.

Jill: That’s not undercover! That’s not any cover at all.

---

Tony: I really hate those scenes

Sabrina: Well I bet you’ve played them often enough

Tony: A few.

Sabrina: I tell you what, cheer up, as soon as I’m out of here you can run right down to the local high school and check out the graduating class.

Tony: You don’t like me very much do you?

Sabrina: No, no it’s not that, I just wish you’d recognise a small portion of the female population.

Tony: Which portion?

Sabrina: The ones over twenty

Bullseye [1.9]

Charlie: Is that you Bosley? You sound like a bagpipe in heat.

---

Charlie: How'd you like your little tour of duty?

Jill: It ranked right up there with abscessed teeth.

Charlie: Not too much, huh?

Jill: No.

Sabrina: Well, let's put it this way Charlie. The next time duty calls, let's let it call somebody else, huh?

Consenting Adults [1.10]

Bosley: She may be Tracy Martell to you but her police blotter reads Delores Martin, with six priors, starting when she was sixteen. All prostitution beefs.

Sabrina: What happened to the art history major?

Bosley: Well that’s the thing, she is in her last year of school, with a 3.4 average.

Jill: Wow, not your average lady of the night.

Kelly: So what’s the tie up between her and consenting adults?

Jill: I don’t know but I have a feeling one of us is going to get to play call girl.

Sabrina: Bingo. Guess who?

Jill: If I could squeeze a gold watch out of Charlie now would be the perfect time to retire.

---

Cooley: Sit right down Mr Bosley, let’s discuss your needs.

Bosley: I need that wonderful lady who just left. Do they all look like that?

Cooley: Yes, now let’s see, your profile says you enjoy quiet evenings at home curled up with a good book, I would suggest that you want someone who’s mature, well informed, cerebral.

Bosley: I want that like I want the heartbreak of psoriasis.

---

Sabrina: (pointing a shotgun) Move and you’re part of the wall!

Bosley: What a rotten attitude!

Angels on Wheels [1.12]

Kelly: How’s your skating class?

Jill: Like a scrimmage with the Pittsburgh Steelers

Sabrina: Did Charlie tell you why he’s got you taking those lessons yet?

Jill: No, all I know is it’s really tough on my...

Kelly: Legs?

Jill: Those too.

---

Jill: I’m in

Bosley: Do you think they bought it?

Jill: Well if they didn’t just tell Charlie I want a simple funeral, you know no frills, no fuss. And then I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered all over Charlie’s water bed.

Bosley: How did you know Charlie had a water bed?

Jill: Just an educated guess

Bosley: Uh-huh, I won’t ask you where you got your education.

Angels on a String [1.15]

Kelly: Now, wait a minute Sabrina. Let's go over this again. Professor Peter Wycinski hurdled his 60-year-old body onto our porch and marched into our room bearing a bottle of plum brandy?

Sabrina: I know that sounds crazy.

Jill: Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.

Kelly: Yeah, just last week Rosalynn Carter leaped through my kitchen window with a quart of chilli.

Dirty Business [1.16]

Bosley: Mrs Evers?

Mrs Evers: Yes?

Bosley: I stopped by your house and your maid told me you were here so I took a small liberty.

Mrs Evers: Did you enjoy it?

Bosley: Enjoy what?

Mrs Evers: Taking a small liberty with my maid.

Bosley: Oh no, not with her, with you. What I mean is I took the small liberty of coming down here.

Mrs Evers: Oh, I’m glad we worked that out.

---

Jill: Free form.

Sabrina: What exactly is free form?

Kelly: Show them Bosley. (he starts playing an adult film) Now here’s some film Marvin didn’t want us to see.

Jill: Oh, little bo peep.

Sabrina: That is not the little bo peep I knew and loved as a child.

Kelly: Yeah well this is the unabridged version.

Jill: How do they do that?

Kelly: Very carefully.

Jill: I’m confused.

Kelly: Alright, ask questions and I’ll try to explain.

The Vegas Connection [1.17]

Sabrina: Woah Bosley, don’t you think you put a little too much garlic in there?

Bosley: No advice please, when I cook I do it alone.

Jill: If you eat that much garlic you’ll do everything alone.

Terror on Ward One [1.18]

Bosley: Wait a minute, are you saying they are suspects?

Kelly: I’m saying they might give us some kind of handle on this. The trick is to question them so they won’t realise they’re being questioned.

Bosley: Ah-hah I see. What we need is a sharp eye and a deft clever tongue.

Kelly: That would be wonderful Bosley, but meanwhile see what you can find out without blowing it.

---

Bosley: Listen, last night at 11.30 I woke up and Halverson was slipping back into the room.

Sabrina: 11.30? That was just after Faraday was attacked.

Bosley: Halverson has a grudge against nurses in general.

Jill: And maybe Faraday in particular.

Bosley: Now if he was cleverly and deftly interrogated...

Jill: That’s a good idea Bos, the only trouble is you’re the one who’s closest to him, so you’ll have to do it.

Bosley: Oh that’s amusing, that is very amusingǃ

---

Bosley: My teeth feel like they have little sweaters on them.

I will be Remembered [1.20]

Kelly: Would you think I was pushy if I asked why you were shooting at me?

---

Sabrina: We’re all invited to the premiere.

Charlie: Wonderful, I’ll see you there.

Jill: Charlie, you mean you’ll come with us?

Charlie: I mean, I’ll see you there.

Sabrina: Yes Charlie, but will we see you?

Charlie: You might, you know I love the movies.

Kelly: Ah Charlie, how will we know it’s you?

Charlie: I’ll be wearing a tuxedo.

Jill: Charlie, all the men at the premiere will be wearing tuxedos

Charlie: That’s showbiz.

Angels at Sea [1.21]

Jill: Well my guess is he’s the murderer. How else would he know that Charlie calls us angels?

Sabrina: Well it could have just been a coincidence. He was trying to come on to all three of us at once and he needed a collective noun. Or is angels a pronoun?

Kelly: Anytime I’m stuck I call everything an adverbial phrase. Yep it’s an adverbial phrase.

===The Blue Angels [1.22] ===no shown

Season 2

Angels in Paradise - Part 1 [2.1]

Bosley: Charlie knows what he’s doing.

Kelly: Oh sure, like the time he sent us to Nova Scotia to find Mrs Carpenter’s killer?

Sabrina: Oh that was a cute one.

Kelly: Uh-huh, and the killer was managing a banana plantation in Honduras.

Bosley: You got him didn’t you?

Kelly: We were there so long the guy had to come home for Christmas.

---

Bosley: What did she tell you about me?

Kris: Oh well she said you were really a take charge kind of guy. Always on top of things.

Bosley: I always thought the world of Jill. Did she tell you anything else?

Kris: Uh-huh, she said you had eyes like Paul Newman and a smile like Robert Redford.

Bosley: I see that you’ve got your sister’s peculiar sense of humour.

---

Kris: Hey is that it? Is that the speaker that Charlie talks to you on?

Kelly: There is no Charlie, Bos made him up.

Angels in Paradise - Part 2 [2.2]

Kris: (Discussing joining a nudist colony to interview suspects) Well fine, what would you do in my place?

Kelly: The same thing, I just wouldn’t have thought it would be this funny if it had been me.

Angels on Ice - Part 1 [2.3]

Kelly: Shall we hit the ice for a little practice?

Kris: Just my luck. Jill skates like a pro and I get this assignment and all the bruises.

---

Cop 1: License, please.

Sabrina: Uh, that would be a driver's license.

Cop 2: That's the idea.

Sabrina: Look, uh, you're never gonna believe this, but I don't have it with me. You see, I left it in the room when I took my gun out of my purse to shoot at the gorilla who was driving the limousine

Cop 2: The gorilla driving the limousine?

Sabrina: I mean, it wasn't really a gorilla. A gorilla can't drive even if he does have his license. It was a person in a gorilla mask.

Cop 1: Have you been drinking, ma'am?

---

Kelly: I wonder what Charlie’s gonna say?

Kris: You mean about the cost of Sabrina’s bail?

Kelly: Uh-huh, it really adds up, doesn’t it? Operating a vehicle without a license, stealing a truck, reckless driving, and I never even heard of felony littering.

Bosley: Well, while Sabrina was busy turning into one of the ten most wanted, what did we learn?

Pretty Angels all in a Row [2.5]

Bosley: You flew all this way just because of a spider?

Mr Paul: I had to, that girl... It didn’t matter to her that the spider was harmless. Why should she care that she’s started a panic among the other contestants.

Kelly: Are you certain the spider was harmless?

Mr Paul: Of course it was, I stomped on it.

Kris: But was it harmless before you stomped on it?

Mr Paul: Well how should I know? I wasn’t going to let it bite me to find out.

Angel Flight [2.6]

Charlie: Oh, by the way, Kelly. I've arranged a little surprise for you.

Kelly: Oh really? Let me guess. A week in Pango Pango.

Charlie: No. Not quite. I'm giving you flying lessons. What do you think of that?

Kelly: I think before I answer that, Charlie. You'd better give me that week in Pango Pango. That way my answer will be much less painful to you.

---

Sabrina: You girls better hit the books, I got some reading of my own to do here. I wonder what Burt Reynolds is up to?

Kelly: From what I hear anything you ask.

---

Kelly: How did you go with the police homicide team?

Kris: I made a deal with Lieutenant Karuthers, he said he’d help us out here if we told him everything we know.

Kelly: Well that’s easy, how long does it take to say nothing.

Circus of Terror [2.7]

Kelly: What do you think we should do now?

Bosley: I think you should scream, as a matter of fact if you don’t I will.

---

Barzak: I think I have found you an assistant

Helmut: Fraulein, pleased to meet you Miss...?

Kris: Kris Munroe.

Helmut: Miss Munroe, I would be much pleased to throw my knives at you.

Barzak: His English is not very good, but you get the point. Do you still want the job?

Kris: Well yeah, I’d like to make one phone call first. I’d like to call my mum, she might be able to collect double indemnity if I come out of this with a split personality.

Angel in Love [2.8]

Kelly: So what do you think of Utopia?

Kris: Are you kidding, I’m so disappointed. I thought sex would be running rampant.

Kelly: Oh, it’s running you just haven’t caught up to it yet.

Angels on the Air [2.10]

Sabrina: (Speaking to Bosley about Dr. Croyden) You know. I got a couple hours before I have to go up again.

Bosley: So you are about to matriculate?

Sabrina: Oh, no. I told my mother I'd never do that but I many run around with him a little.

Angel Baby [2.11]

Kris: Where do we start?

Charlie: We start with Kelly getting pregnant.

Sabrina: What!

Kelly: Ah, I quit.

The Sandcastle Murders [2.20]

Sabrina: You're the man to get to know if you want to get anywhere in this company.

Fallon: You've just applied for a job and you're asking for a promotion?

Sabrina: Well, I've never been accused of modesty.

Angels on the Run [2.25]

Kelly: With my singing I’m going to need more than Bosley to protect me.

Kris: Hey, wait a minute, you told me you were lead alto in glee club.

Kelly: Listen, as an alto in glee club I was fair, but as the torch singer in a supper club no way.

Sabrina: What is your vocal range?

Kelly: Poor to awful.

---

Kris: There's a direct correlation between a woman's chest and a man's ears.

Sabrina: I have not heard this theory before.

Kelly: Neither have I.

Kris: Well, you see, the lower the neckline, the more tone-deaf they are.

Antique Antgels [2.26]

Bullshit

Season 3

Angels in Vegas - Part 1 [3.1]

Sabrina: Tell me something. Do casino owners gamble?

Frank: You mean, do I?

Sabrina: Yep, that's exactly what I mean.

Frank: Well, I won this place in a crap game.

Sabrina: Love a client with a sense of humor.

---

Mark: I run the casino up the street.

Sabrina: Oh, what'd you do. Come over to borrow a cup of money?

Angel in Springtime [3.5]

Kris: Charlie, you don’t mean to say that we are going to be wallowing in all that luxury.

Charlie: I don’t believe wallow is quite the word Kris. You’re going to work there as an exercise instructor.

Sabrina: What about me Charlie?

Charlie: You’ll take your expertise into the diet kitchen, Sabrina. Nothing like the thirty calorie chocolate mousse to raise moral.

Sabrina: Ah, the galley slave. How about Kelly?

Charlie: Somebody has to be a guest.

Kris: Teachers pet.

Kelly: I’ll wave to you.

Winning is for losers [3.6]

Bosley: The only way I could afford the Cyprus Pines is if they rented rooms by the hour. By that, I mean, by the time my bags got to the room, I'd have to check out

Haunted Angels [3.7]

Kelly: Kathy became interested in the occult right after Martin was killed. I think she wanted to get into the institute so she could attempt to contact him.

Bosley: Yeah, or to fleece his Aunt.

Kris: Well listen if she was part of the scheme to fleece Clare I doubt that she agreed to be killed.

Bosley: No that is a bit drastic.

Angels Ahoy [3.9]

Bosley: So we’ll all need to have a cover but one of you will have to be a wanted criminal. Tough, streetwise, and capable of anything.

Sabrina: Wait a minute, why are you looking at me?

Mother Angel [3.10]

Bosley: She has a very lively imagination Charlie.

Samantha: You’re not a very subtle factotum Mr Bosley.

Bosley: Factotum? Me?

---

Sabrina:(As Kris and Jill walk in) How'd you get here so fast?

Kris: Have you ever taken Sunset Boulevard with somebody that came in 3rd at Le Mans?

Angel on my Mind [3.11]

Sabrina: (Grabbing her gun) Hey, this is my gun! And I've got an impatient nature too!

Bosley: Sabrina, you're not gonna shoot somebody else today!

Angels on Vacation [3.14]

Kris: She just thinks that being mayor is boring and she wants Uncle Paul to deputize her.

Charlie: She’s not serious

Kris: Oh yes she is.

Kelly: Hey, I think that’s a good idea Kris. You’re uncle could deputise two or three of those ladies, give them assignments by phone, let them do all the work and he just lays back and relaxes.

Bosley: That is an absolutely preposterous idea

Charlie: I agree Bosley, totally absurd.

Sabrina: It would never work.

Kris: No of course not, I don’t know any woman who would accept something like that. Do you?

Kelly: Absolutely not.

Counterfeit Angels [3.15]

Kelly: Good ole Charlie. First he lets us live among the wolves, then he throws us to them.

Kris: Do you really think I look like that?

Sabrina: I don't know. It's hard to say. We've never seen you in a mattress garden.

Angel in a Box [3.17]

Kris: Hi, what brings you here?

Jill: I heard you were hanging out with a rough crowd. I just dropped by to see if I could straighten you out.

Sabrina: I'll see if I can get his picture.

Jill: How are you gonna get a picture?

Sabrina: With a camera.

Anton: The food is not to your liking, Miss Munroe?

Kris: I'm not real crazy about the company either.

Kris: Bosley, hi. Kris. Where are you?

Bosley: Uh in my car.

Kris: I know but where?

Bosley: Oh, in the front seat.

Teen Angels [3.18]

Charlie: I'm glad your back, Angels. I hope your brush with high education was beneficial.

Kelly: Well if Blackmore is typical, I understand why they call it a finishing school.

Sabrina: Yep. It seemed like some of those girls were majoring in mayhem and blackmail.

Kelly: And minoring in lying, thievery and intimidation.

Angel's in Waiting [3.20]

Bosley: What you're doing doesn't make any sense.

Kris: Well that just goes to show you.

Bosley: Which is?

Kris: We're all not as predictable as you are.

Cast

• Kate Jackson - Sabrina Duncan
• Jaclyn Smith - Kelly Garrett
• Farah Fawcett - Jill Munroe
• Cheryl Ladd - Kris Munroe
• David Doyle - John Bosley
• John Forsythe - Charlie Townsend
• Shelley Hack - Tiffany Welles
• Tanya Roberts - Julie Rogers

External links

• Encyclopedic article on Charlie's Angels on Wikipedia
• Media related to Charlie's Angels on Wikimedia Commons

Charlie's Angels quotes at the Internet Movie Database