Demolition Man (film)

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Demolition Man is a 1993 sci-fi/action movie about a wrongfully convicted police officer who is thawed out from a suspended animation prison to pursue an ultra-violent 20th century villain. Simon Phoenix has been deliberately loosed in a nonviolent 'ant colony' future society to further justify the controller's "Cocteau's" power & rid him of a 'underground' leader named "Edgar Friendly". Police take the unpredicted action of thawing a 'rehabilitated' John Spartan to deal with a non-chipped or 'low-jacked' "Phoenix".

John Spartan[edit]

  • Somebody put me back in the fridge.
  • Why don't you just shove a leash up my ass?!
  • You're gonna regret that decision for the rest of your life...both seconds of it!
  • Thanks a lot, you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball-breaking, duck-fucking, pain in the ass. So much for the seashells. I'll see you in a few minutes.
  • So, stay here, be well and Cocteau's an asshole!
  • Hey, Luke Skywalker, use the force.
  • I'm gonna go down there, I'm gonna find Phoenix, and I'm gonna put him in a hurt locker and enhance HIS calm!
  • You're on TV!
  • Brake now, you Mickey Mouse-piece of shit!
  • Send a maniac to catch a maniac.
  • When a man like Phoenix has a gun to your head, ten seconds is nine and a half seconds longer than you live.

Simon Phoenix[edit]

  • It's a brave new world - sorry you gotta go!
  • How much do you weigh?
  • Stupid!
  • Play ball!
  • Teddy Bear!
  • Holy shit! I love this gun!"
  • Simon says, "Die."
  • Simon says, "Bleed."
  • Simon says, "Everybody's dead."
  • I love that smell, reminds me of biscuits and gravy.
  • I'll be goddamned! Like a New York cockroach!
  • I hope my butt didn't look like that!
  • No free rides!
  • Damn, I'm possessed! Wonder if I can play the accordion too...
  • You can't take away people's right to be assholes! That's who you remind me of... an evil Mr Rogers.
  • I am sorry to say the world has become a pussy-whipped Brady Bunch version of itself -- run by a bunch of robed sissies.

Lenina Huxley[edit]

  • (complementing Spartan) You are even better live than on Laserdisc!
  • Not many people get a second chance, John Spartan.
  • Not bad for a seventy-four year old. Simon Phoenix knows he has some competition. He's finally matched his meat. You really licked his ass!
  • You mean... fluid transfer?
  • Chief, you can take this job and shovel it.
  • Thank you for rendering me unconscious.

Edgar Friendly[edit]

  • So, you think you're taking me in, huh? Guess what, not happening. You tell Cocteau he can kiss my ass. Yeah, that's right. You tell Cocteau it's gonna take an army of assholes to get rid of me. Because, I don't give a shit. I got nothing to lose.
  • Greed, deception, abuse of power? That's no plan.
  • You got that right. You see, according to Cocteau's plan... I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, the freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of BBQ ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener." You live up top, you live Cocteau's way: what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here... and maybe starve to death.
  • I'm no leader. I do what I have to do. Sometimes, people come with me. All I wanna do is bury Cocteau up to his neck in shit, and let him think happy-happy thoughts forever.


TV Reporter: How can you justify destroying a $7 million dollar mini mall to rescue a girl whose ransom was only $25,000 dollars?
Little girl: Fuck you, lady!
John Spartan: Good answer!

Lenina Huxley: [sotto voce] Sanctimonious asshole.
Morality Box: You are fined one-half credit for a sotto voce violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

John Spartan: You're under arrest!
Simon Phoenix: And you're trespassing!

Simon Phoenix: Where are the goddamn guns?
Morality Box: You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.
Simon Phoenix: What? Fuck you. [Tosses the ticket over his shoulder]
Morality Box: Your repeated violations of the Verbal Morality Statute have caused me to notify the San Angeles Police Department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand.
Simon Phoenix: Yeah, right. [Police show up] Fuckers are fast, too. [Morality Box buzzes again and Phoenix mocks it, throwing away the ticket]

Museum PDA: The Armory exhibit is now sealed. All museum patrons still occupying the facility should remain calm. Help is imminent.

[Phoenix shoots the door open with a cannon]

Simon Phoenix: The museum is no longer sealed, is it? Ha-ha! What can I say? I'm a blast from the past!
John Spartan: You should've stayed there.
Simon Phoenix: Hey, wait, that voice sounds familiar. Who is that?! (forces Spartan to take cover)
John Spartan: Bad aim, Blondie!
Simon Phoenix: Spartan? John Spartan? Aw shit, they let anybody into this century! What the hell you doing here?
John Spartan: Oh, shit...
Simon Phoenix: So let me get this right: they defrosted you just so you could lasso my piddly ass? Damn, you been had! I been dreamin' about killin' you for forty years.
John Spartan: Well, keep dreaming!

Raymond Cocteau: Be well.
John Spartan: [raises gun] Be fucked.

Lenina Huxley: Let's go blow this guy.
John Spartan: Away! 'Blow this guy *away*'!
Lenina Huxley: Whatever.

Simon Phoenix: All right, gentlemen, let's review. The year is 2032 - that's two-zero-three-two, as in the 21st Century - and I am sorry to say the world has become a pussy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of robed sissies. All we have to do to run the whole thing, is to kill a man named Raymond, who put it all together. But, there's an extra added bonus. We get to kill the man who put most of us behind the freezer.
CryoCon (Francis played by Ben Jurand): You mean, we get to kill John Spartan?
Simon Phoenix: Exactly!
[the CryoCons laugh and cheer]
Simon Phoenix: I want you to rob, loot, pillage, I want you to steal! I want you to do all the wonderful things that we used to do before all of this happened! This world will be ours! Let's bring back the good old days! Are you with me?
Cryocons: YEAH!
Simon Phoenix: ARE YOU WITH ME?
Cryocons: YEAH!
Simon Phoenix: LET'S DO IT!

Lenina Huxley: I have, in fact, perused some newsreels in the Schwarzenegger Library, and the time that you took that car...
John Spartan: Hold it. The Schwarzenegger Library?
Lenina Huxley: Yes. The Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...?
John Spartan: Stop! He was President?
Lenina Huxley: Yes! Even though he was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...
John Spartan: I don't wanna know... [incredulously] President...

John Spartan: [whispering to Lenina] Look, I don't know if you guys know it, but uh... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: [confused] Did... did you say toilet paper?
Lenina Huxley: Um... they used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...
[Lenina, Alfredo, and Erwin all laugh]
John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
[Erwin continues to laugh, then calms down, when he sees John glaring at him]
Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

Simon Phoenix: You're dead, Spartan!
John Spartan: Forgot to say 'Simon Says'!

Lenina Huxley: [Spartan encounters a burger grill in the underground world] Just don't ask them where the meat comes from.
John Spartan: Huxley, what's that supposed to mean?
Lenina Huxley: Do you see any cows around here, detective?
John Spartan: Que es este carne? [(Spanish)What is this meat?]
Hamburger Stand Scrap: Esta carne es de rata. [(Spanish)This meat is from rats]
John Spartan: Rat? This is a rat burger?
[vendor nods]
John Spartan: Not bad! Matter of fact this is the best burger I've had in years!
Hamburger Stand Scrap: Gracias, Señor.
John Spartan: [coughing] Prego. See ya later.

Edgar Friendly: They thawed this guy out just to kill me? I'm flattered.
John Spartan: Don't be flattered, be frightened. This guy's a certifiable nightmare.

Lenina Huxley: Look at you, you're in shambles!
John Spartan: Don't worry, I can fix it. All I need is a needle and thread.


John Spartan: I really didn't say that, did I? Damn it!

Chief George Earle: You use these weapons of mass destruction against men and women who uphold the law?!
Edgar Friendly: We use these weapons to shop for groceries... dick.

Lenina Huxley: Chief, you can take this job, and you can shovel it.
John Spartan: Take this job... and SHOVE it.
Lenina Huxley: Yeah...?
John Spartan: ...Close enough.

John Spartan: Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Simon Phoenix: Good memory.

Chief George Earle: What will we do? How will we live?
Edgar Friendly: I tell you what we're gonna' do... we're gonna' go out drinking, get shit-faced and paint the town literally; put up graffiti, slogans... it'll be a blast!
John Spartan: Whoa! I'll tell you what you're gonna' do: [turns to Earle] Why don't you get a little dirty... (turns to scraps) ...and you, a lot clean. And somewhere in the middle... I don't know, you'll figure it out.
Alfredo Garcia: Fuckin' A!
John Spartan: Well put.

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