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Frontline (Australian TV series)

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Frontline (1994–1997) was an Australian comedy television series which satirised Australian television current affairs programs and reporting. It ran for three series of 13 half-hour episodes and was broadcast on ABC TV in 1994, 1995 and 1997.

Season 1

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The Souffle Rises [1.1]

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Brian Thompson: Put Ray Martin up against a celebrity and it rates. God knows why, maybe opposites attract.
Geoffrey Salter: You're tough! You're... Remember that time you asked Imran Khan about his new lover? Man, nobody would have done that!
Mike Moore: Yeah, that was off-air.
Geoff: ...yeah! But it still took guts, he's a big man.
Domenica Baroni: I mean, that's why people like you Mike, you're nice. My mum likes you.
Mike: I didn't know she watched.
Domenica: She doesn't, but from what I tell her, she thinks you're really nice.

The Desert Angel [1.2]

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[At the end of an interview.]
Brooke Vandenberg: Thanks a lot for that, Pat, that was terrific.
Pat Cash: Just one thing, why is everyone laughing? Is it something I said? Everyone's been giggling the whole time.
Brooke: There's rumour going around that you and I slept together.
Pat Cash: You're kidding, that's unbelievable. We've never even met before today. I just... who would start stuff like that?
Brooke: I did.

The Siege [1.5]

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Kate Preston: Brian, we're still struggling to find a psychologist specialising in siege-related traumas.
Brian: Well, we need someone.
Kate: Well, we have got a psychology, uh, student...
Brian: Nah.
Kate: Well, he's mature age. He's got a beard.
Brian: Alright. We'll slap him up in front of a bookcase.
Stu: What are you doing, mate?
Martin Di Stasio: Crouching.
Stu: What for?
Marty: 'Cause it makes it look like I'm in danger.
Stu: Mate, the gunman's five kilometres away.
Marty: Shut up. It's dark, who's gonna bloody know?

Playing the Ego Card [1.6]

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[Interviewing a student from his former school.]

Mike: And say hello to Father Stephenson for me.
Student: Uhh, he's dead.
Mike: Oh that's terrible. Uh, well, tell him I'm sorry to hear that.
Farmer: Mike Moore has this network's support right up until the day we sack him.
Mike: Don't underestimate our viewers Brian.
Brian: I've built a career on it, mate.

The Invisible Man [1.9]

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Emma Ward: Marty, can you imagine how humiliating it would be for a woman to know that her breasts have been seen by half the country?
Marty: [turns to Brooke] What's it like, Brooke?

Add Sex and Stir [1.10]

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[After the interviewee, Allison, has gone.]
Brooke: I might just re-ask one of the questions. When I said to her, "How many team members had it in for her", what was her answer?
Stu: "Most of them."
Brooke: I might just change that question slightly.
[Cut to the edited, broadcast interview.]
Brooke: Allison, how many girls on the team are gay?
Allison: Um, most of them.

Smaller Fish to Fry [1.11]

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Brian: Great. We get a thirteen-year-old, wire him up with a camera and get someone to sell him smokes.
Emma: That's entrapment.
Brian: No, it's current affairs.
Brian: Our audience simply doesn’t have the concentration span.
Mike: [plays distractedly with a piece of stationary]
Brian: Mike?
Mike: [looking up] Sorry.
Brian: We've got three minutes to do a story. Five if it involves nudity.

This Night of Nights [1.13]

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Brian: [on the Logie Awards] That's the trouble with these shows. You spend all night trying to remember everybody’s name.
Marty: Simple solution – you call everyone "mate". [Everybody laughs and agrees.] Everyone does it, can't remember your name, see ya – maaaaate.
Mike: [spotting Bert Newton in a shopping centre] Bert! Bert.
Bert Newton: Oh, hi.
Mike: How's it going?
Bert Newton: Just great, thanks.
Mike: Looking forward to the Logies?
Bert Newton: Oh, certainly am, yeah.
Mike: Well, I've just been doing some shopping for it.
Bert Newton: Yeah.
Mike: Well, I better get going – lovely to see you Bert.
Bert Newton: Yeah, good to see you... mate.
Domenica: [picking a Logie award up off the office table] Hey, I thought we didn’t win a Logie?
Marty: Oh, Christ! [remembering] I nicked it off the 4 Corners table. Ollie's gonna kill me.
Brooke: Marty!
Marty: Negus made me do it!

Season 2

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One Big Family [2.1]

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[The network is filming a new commercial to promote its "One Big Family" tagline.]
Jan Whelan: We're shooting it in a way that no one need be within a 5 kilometre radius of each other.
Emma: Why?
Jan: Oh, this is television darling, everyone hates everybody else, that's why we spend so much time promoting how well we all get on... One Big Family, darling!
Brooke: [studying the script for the commercial] Jan, it says here I've gotta do a high-five with the weatherman.
Jan: Brooke, no one's doing a high-five with anyone, darling. It'll just appear that way.
Brooke: Good, 'cause I'm not touching him.
Emma: Hello, Mrs Rosen, thanks for coming in so early. Um, have you been to make up?
Mrs Rosen: Make up is the devil's work. Satan, his face was painted white to hide the darkness of his soul.
Emma: Right. No make up.

Heroes and Villains [2.3]

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Domenica: You want to hear this letter?
Mike: Yeah, yeah.
Domenica: "Dear editor, as a big fan of Frontline and in particular Mike Moore, I'm glad he's back hosting the show. Brooke Vandenberg did a good job, but let's face it – she's no match for Mike."
Mike: Great. That's fantastic.
Domenica: You want me to mail it today?
Mike: Yeah, oh, and Dom...
Domenica: Use a fake name.
Mike: Yeah.

Season 3

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The Art of the Interview [3.9]

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Prowsie: Sunday Forum's got three problems. One, it was run by a soft-cock. Two, it's presented by a soft-cock. Three, it features soft-cock and while we're at it four - the opening titles. I mean what's that all that about? Chess pieces? I mean chess is a game-
Steve Barrett: For soft-cocks.
Prowsie: Right, remove the soft-cock element.
Prowsie: Why do people watch interviews?
Steve Barrett: Uhm, I dunno, uhh for information?
Prowsie: Entertainment. We've turned it into a sport - who wins, who loses. It's point scoring.
Mike: [talking to himself] Now what did I come up here for? [looks at video tapes in hand] What are these?...let me retrace my steps...I was down at the canteen [to Prowsie] stay there cos....now I walk back in - Oh yeah, these are for you [Puts video tapes on Prowsie's table and leaves the office]
Prowsie: Soft-cock.

Cast

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