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Girls With Slingshots

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Girls With Slingshots is a webcomic written and drawn by Danielle Corsetto. It is about the everyday trials and tribulations of adulthood, starring two best friends, Hazel and Jamie. It updates five days a week.

Number 1-99

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  • Hazel: I don't think inflatable sheep are considered "stuffed animals."
Number 3
  • Hazel: Honey, he's hot, charming, funny, and well-dressed...inevitably, that adds up to "loves the cock."
Number 18
  • Jameson: My and all this time I thought you couldn't smell jealousy.
Number 42
  • Jamie: You know, I'd say you're cute when you're jealous, but you're really not that cute.
Number 81
  • Hazel: Why are all my best compliments in the form of insults?
Number 87

Number 100-199

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  • Hazel: I've never despised an ellipsis so much in my life.
Number 114
Hazel: If by "Dewey" you mean "wet," you may have a point there.
Number 138
  • Hazel: I think I just lost my status as "meanest character."
Number 167
  • Chris: I thought dead hooker jokes were just JOKES!!
Number 178

Number 200-299

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  • Scott: I take it I'm the only one in the room with a steady sex life.
Number 217
  • Hazel: Okay...Denial, Anger, Bargaining...I think I'll skip straight to Depression.
Number 252
  • Hazel: Believe it or not, this is ENTIRELY about me.
Number 257
  • Hazel: You're so mean it makes ME look good.
Number 294
  • Candy: How dare you analyze me so correctly!
Number 295

Number 300-399

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  • Jamie: What IS wrong with Jim?
Hazel: Besides the fact that we can't figure out what's wrong with him, nothing.
Number 306
  • Jamie: Somewhere, in an alternate universe, you and I are covered in badges!
Hazel: Meanwhile, in THIS universe, we are going straight to hell.
Number 333
  • Jim: It wasn't a vacation. It was a leave of embarrassment.
Number 342
  • Jamie: I think about kids all the time! I hear they're delicious sauteed in butter.
Number 383
  • Maureen: Jamie, your breasts are...legendary.
Jamie: You can say it twice. I consider them each a separate legend.
Number 395

Number 400-499

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  • Jamie: Wow. And you aren't even sleeping together.
Hazel: I know.
Jamie: This is like a real, grown-up relationship!
Hazel: I know.
Jamie: How are you doing this?
Hazel: Masturbating like CRAZY.
Number 433
  • Hazel: What's this? A miniature pony?
Zach: In case you didn't like the tickets. All girls like ponies.
Number 452
  • Jamie: We need a Heartbreak Bacardi and some free bartender advice over here!
Number 496

Number 500-599

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  • Hazel: Calling it a "meeting" instead of "drinks" takes all the fun out of it.
Number 544
  • Hazel: Why do you always freak out when I'm in a good mood?
Jameson: It's weird!
Number 570
  • Hazel: How's it shakin', eggs 'n' bacon?
Jamie: Large an' loose, like your caboose!
Number 587

Number 600-699

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  • Hazel: That wasn't me, that was my ovaries.
Number 617
  • Jameson: Oh, thank GOD, you're finally getting LAID!
Number 631
  • David: If you're suggesting I have bitchtits, I'm mildly offended. Unless you like bitchtits.
Number 650
  • Jameson: Sorry, I'm afraid you need less Asshole Points to access that information.
Number 684
  • Zach: They're OLD PEOPLE, not ZOMBIES!
Hazel: But, they're FRAGILE like zombies.
Number 691

Number 700-799

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  • Hazel: "Why are my cat's farts so nasty?" Oh Internet, is there nothing you don't know.
Number 728
  • Jamie: Remind me to trick you into complimenting me more often.
Number 744
  • Candy: Whoa, is that kangaroo hide?
Number 752
  • Zach: Nonsense, you're far too sober to dump me.
Number 773
  • Davan: Which side has the crazier women? I want to feel at home.
Number 781
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