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- CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.
- Ambrose Bierce, The Cynic's Dictionary (1906); republished as The Devil's Dictionary (1911).
- Cemeteries: there's another idea whose time has passed! Saving all the dead people in one part of town? What the hell kind of a superstitious religious medieval bullshit idea is that? Plow these motherfuckers up, plow them into the streams and rivers of America, we need that phosphorus for farming! If we're gonna recycle, let's get serious!
- He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
- Harold Wilson, speech to the Consultative Assembly of the Council of Europe, Strasbourg, France, January 23, 1967.—Text, The New York Times, January 24, 1967, p. 12.
- Sarah: You're going to say I shouldn't be in the cemetery in the middle of the night, right?
- Eric: Safest place in the world to be.
- Sarah: That's 'cause everybody's dead.