Home Movies

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Home Movies (1999–2004) is a dialogue-driven animated series about 8-year-old Brendon Small (voiced by the creator, head writer, and lead musician of Home Movies, Brendon Small), who makes films with his friends, Melissa Robbins and Jason Penopolis, in his spare time. He lives with his divorced mother, Paula, and his adopted baby sister, Josie. He is also friends with his alcoholic, short-tempered soccer coach, John McGuirk.


Season 1[edit]

Get Away From My Mom [1.01][edit]

Coach McGuirk: I've got trademark products all over my body because I was drunk one night. Don't live like me.

Coach McGuirk: I swear to God I'm gonna come down hard on you on Monday. It's gonna be like a friggin' hurricane.

Jason Penopolis: People hate me!

Brendon Small: And demand number two--
Melissa Robbins and Jason Penopolis: Three.
Brendon: Three. Pizzaaaaaa!
All: Yay!

Jason: How come we're in France?
Brendon: Because, that's where...dramatic scenes...take place.

Coach McGuirk: You know, I mean, uh, kids don't want to do anything. You know, in my experience, Paula? Kids are always like "I don't wanna do that!" I consider my job to kinda twist them in the direction of doing stuff. I mean that's what coaching's all about. That's why I love it. Every day I go out there and I twist the kids into doing something they don't wanna do!

Brendon: Hey everybody, guess what? McGuirk's gonna come after your moms!

Melissa: It's all my fault! It should be me behind bars with a French, stupid guard, not you!
Brendon: Yes! I agree, mother! You're a horrible person!

I Don't Do Well In Parent-Teacher Conferences [1.02][edit]

Paula: Brendon, Mr. Lynch called.
Brendon: Oh, Jesus.

Mr. Lynch: You make your little movies. Right?
Brendon: Yes
Mr. Lynch: That takes a little thought right?
Brendon: YES!

Mr. Lynch: You are not doing well at any subject and uh if you continue on this path. You will be in the fourth grade for the next four years.

Melissa: Well maybe stop thinking about yourself for a minute and how do you think it's going to be for me, If you have to stay in the fourth grade.
Brendon: And you're in fifth?
Melissa: Well yeah I'm going to be in fifth. I'm not getting left back.
Brendon: You can get held back with me.
Melissa: Well I'm not as good at not doing my work as you are.
Brendon: Didn't think about that.

Brendon: [as speech giver] As far as the annual report goes I don't have it on me and a-ohhh. In the mean time I would-Oohhh boy...I think I might be turning into a monster!
(Brendon transforms into Jason, dressed like monster)
Jason: Auggggh! Auggggh! I'm a Mon-Ster!
Melissa: Help!
Brendon: (as guy in a hat) Hey! He's using telekinesis!
Jason: That's right! I'm using telekinesis! I'll burn you all up and make you crispy!
Melissa: My flesh is getting hot!

Coach McGuirk: You know Lynch, uh, it's funny when I talk to you, I get a little uncomfortable because I feel like you're being condescending to me, and I hope that's not the case, because if it is, I'm gonna kick your ass, and if it isn't, let's clear it up right now. So, you can tell me whether you're being condescending to me whenever we speak, and if you say yes, I'm gonna beat you up right here in the faculty lounge, and if you say no then I'm going to, uh, say, "Fine." Alright? You being condescending right now?
Mr. Lynch: Hmm.

Jason: Excuse me, monster coming through. Coming through, how you doin'?
Melissa: Aim for his heart. Aim for his heart!
Brendon: Fire!
Jason: Ahhh!
Melissa: Direct Hit.
Jason: Ahh! Maybe you should look at yourself before you take it out on me. I'm just one monster and when I'm gone! You'll remember me! Ooow! Oww! And then you'll have to at yourselves. And own up to what you've done. For isn't every man a monster!
Brendon: I guess he's right! I guess we're all!
Jason: Your're damn right I'm right!
Brendon: Yea Yeah I know!
Jason: Stop shooting!
Brendon: Ok! Hey guys!
Jason: Don't you realize that if you stop now I might be able to get surgery!
Brendon: Uhh yeah I'm going to tell them hold on.
Jason: Tell the guy that's shooting to stop shooting!
Brendon: Who's shooting!?!
Jason: Oh for god's sakes, tell 'em to stop!
Brendon: I'm trying!
Jason: I mean hello!
Brendon: I know!
Jason: Do you have any control of your people!?!?!
Brendon: I..I Who's shooting?!? Please stop!
Jason: Ah forget it, leave him alone. I'll just die!

Jason: Kill you first! Kill you first, lady!

(Brendon showing his video for his project)
Brendon On Video: Kubrick, Scorsese, Altman, Spielberg, Lucas. They are all fabuolous directors and everything single one of them had a tutor. Just like me. Thank you very much. I hope you enjoyed my speech. Back to you Brendon.
Brendon: Thank you Brendon. Good work up there by the way.
Brendon On Video: Thanks. How are you doing?
Brendon: Fine. How are you doing?
Brendon On Video: Fine. Mr. Lynch.
Mr. Lynch: Brendon.
Brendon On Video: Ha Ha!
Brendon: What's this a glass of water?
(Brendon drinks it and puts his arm behind the tv)
Brendon On Video: Oh say can you see. By the dawn's early light.

The Art Of The Sucker Punch [1.03][edit]

Paula: This isn't a Water Pic

Brendon: I'd like to make an appointment, with you if you're free, on Wednesday.
Shannon: About what time?
Brendon: I'm thinking maybe 3:30. Alright keep that open.
Shannon: What's this about?
Brendon: I'm going to pound the crap out of you.

Jason: What happens after you punch his butt a second time?
Brendon: I'm gonna probably kick him.
Jason: Kick him! Where you gonna kick him?
Brendon: I'm gonna go for the butt again.
Jason: Okay. Let's get away from the butt.

Paula: Someday, Brendon, you're gonna be with a woman, or a man, who likes you just for you.
Brendon: Or both. Who knows, mom. I'm young. Don't start forcing roles on me.

McGuirk: You want to catch him off guard. Show me what you'd do.
Brendon: (Singing) Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful...
McGuirk: No, that was more weird, I would of expected a shove or something.

Brendon Gets Rabies [1.04][edit]

Yoko [1.05][edit]

McGuirk: S**t, I thought about grapes again.

Eugene: I pee in coach canteen.
McGuirk: (after drinking pee from his canteen and trying to eat turkey to get rid of the taste) Ugh, it tastes like pee turkey.

Brendon: So I just feel like I'm in the way... of Mitch & Lonny.
Paula: Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah?
Paula: You're 8 years old. You need to remember to bring your homework folder to school everyday. You need to remember to wash your hands before you eat your breakfast, lunch, dinner & snack. And you need to worry about all this...

Melissa: Do you want to hear about how great they are together?
Brendon: I WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY PICKED ME TO PLay this trick on, this joke.
Melissa: It wasn't a joke.
Brendon: I got played by both of them and you know what sister? DONT PLAY ME! Dont play Brendon Small because he dont like that stuff.
Melissa: You were playing the game of love and when you play the game of love someone always get's hurt.
Brendon: I'm turning my chips in, you know why?
Melissa: Because you lost?
Brendon: NO I QUIT!
Melissa: You forfeit?
Brendon: I fold! I know what my cards are and you know something? I DONT HAVE A GOOD HAND!

Director's Cut [1.06][edit]

Jason: Hey Brendon, can I be a bug?

Jason [As Louis Braille]: I'm going to get a house with a nice view of the ocean.
Brendon [As Louis Pasteur]: But you're blind.
Jason: Well, my entire family isn't blind. Did you ever think of that?
Brendon: Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

Brendon [As Louis Pasteur]: We are two great men from France, both named Louis!

From Dwayne's Franz Kafka rock opera:
Livin' like a bug ain't easy
My old clothes don't seem to fit me
I got little tiny bug feet
I don't really know what bugs eat
Don't want no one steppin' on me
Now I'm sympathizin' with fleas

It Was Supposed to be Funny [1.07][edit]

Melissa: (reading McGuirk’s date ad) Handsome, sofistitedcd, man. Enjoys fine wine and lots of it…
McGuirk: Yeah, I love that.
Melissa: (continue reading) Seeks beautiful woman for long walks.
(stops reading)That’s really sweet, Coach McGuirk.
McGuirk: I changed it from enjoys alcohol.
Melissa: It sounds nicer.
McGuirk: I have to boil down my whole personality in one huge lie.
Melissa: You did a good job.
McGuirk: Well, thanks.

Brendon: What do you mean, uh, you can’t make it?
Melissa: Well, I’m going to visit my grandfather in the nursing home.
Brendon: Do you have to go?
Melissa: No, but I like visiting him. I mean, he’s really old, but he’s really nice.
Brendon: For your own sake, do not go because, you know, it’s not healthy for you to be hanging around with old people because, you know, you could catch an old person’s disease and, uh, suddenly become old.

Jason: Uh, Brendon, my grandfather calls me Debbie and tries to kiss me.
(Brendon and Melissa looked at him shocked)
Jason: No, my grandfather was, um, a surgeon and lost a, well, malpractice suit because he cut off the wrong leg.
Melissa: That’s awful!
Brendon: It’s…it’s terrible, Jason.
Jason: Yeah, that’s what the patient said but it was a little more angry.
Melissa: Is your grandfather still a surgeon?
Jason: No. That’s the short story. The long story is that now he is a very successful, uh, malpractice lawyer.

Brendon: Melissa’s dad is going to ask for his money back and I’ve already spent it and he hasn’t even paid me yet.

Erik: Brendon, is this some sort of joke?
Brendon: Uh, um, uh…yeah.
Melissa: Brendon, how could you?
Brendon: Um, Jason. What did you do…to the video, Jason?
(everybody looks at Jason who is already eating the birthday cake)
Jason: Um…

McGuirk: First of all, life sucks. Alright? Period. Done deal. You got it? There's your lesson. Go enjoy it.

McGuirk: There’s two kinds of funny, Brendon, Right?
Brendon: Okay.
McGuirk: There’s mean funny, which is, you know when you make fun of someone and get laughs at their expense. Like stuffing that nerdy kid in a locker. What’s his name?
Brendon: Um…Brian?
McGuirk: Carlo, the Italian kid.
Brendon: Alright, Carlo.
McGuirk: With the funny accent. That’s funny, too. Accents are funny.

McGuirk:Then there’s nice funny--like maybe a little light sarcasm or a clever twist or a knock-knock joke. I like those. You like those?
Brendon: Um…
McGuirk: Knock-knock.
Brendon: Huh.
McGuirk: Brendon. Knock-knock. I’m doing a knock-knock joke. Knock-knock.
Brendon: Uh, hello.
McGuirk: what do you mean, hello? You say who’s there? Brendon. Do you knock a knock-knock joke?
Brendon: Yeah, uh…
McGuirk: I say knock-knock you say who’s there?
Brendon: Yeah, right. I’m not a big fan of…
McGuirk: You know what? Do it. Knock-knock.
Brendon: Who’s there?
McGuirk: No, wait a minute, you say knock-knock.
Brendon: I don’t…knock-knock.
McGuirk: Who’s there?
Brendon: I don’t know.
McGuirk: I don’t know who?
Brendon: I don’t know, I hate this joke.
McGuirk: That’s not funny. It’s got to be a pun or something. You know what? Forget it. Where was I? Oh, yeah, nice funny.

McGuirk: You know, what you did to Melissa’s grandfather was mean funny, Brendon.
Brendon Okay.
McGuirk: Putting a wig and makeup on some old man while he’s sleeping.
Brendon: Yeah, but I…
McGuirk: Did you put lipstick on him?
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: You did? That’s good. Did you push the call button or do the bed thing where, you know, you go up and down?
Brendon: He’s in pretty bad shape…no, we didn’t impair his health.
McGuirk: Oh.
Brendon: No.
McGuirk: That’s how my grandfather died.

Erik: Ever read a book called An actor prepares?
McGuirk: You know, I’ve only read one book in the last seven years and that was not it.

McGuirk: All right, Brendon, can we do my thing now?
Brendon: Yeah, you know, that’s fine.
McGuirk: I’ll just change right here.
(McGuirk takes his clothes off)
Brendon: Yeah, okay.
McGuirk: It’s not my neighborhood.
Brendon: Right.

McGuirk: Hey, ladies, uh, my name is John McGuirk. I, uh, am a professional soccer coach at the elementary school level and I own a nice car though I do not currently have legal access to it. Um, as you can see, I used to be in good shape and, uh, in the last two years I’ve successfully completed four out of five rehab programs. The kind of woman I’m interested in is the one, I guess, who’s still watching this video.
Brendon: Cut. I’m going to stop you right there.
McGuirk: What’s? That was, uh, that was not good or…
Brendon: We got it. We got this.
Erik: I think you nailed it.

[Filming a series of dating videos.]
[Camera cuts to Erik.]
Erik: My ideal woman is one who cares about the world plus fifteen percent.
[Camera cuts to Jason, who is picking his nose.]
[Camera cuts to Brendon.]
Brendon: I'd like a tall woman. About my height.
[Camera cuts to McGurik.]
McGuirk: My ideal woman is my mother, actually, who I hate.
[Camera cuts to Melissa's Grandad.]
Melissa's Grandad: I want a young woman who can cut my toe nails.
[Camera cuts to Erik.]
Erik: I want a woman who cares about me and not my money... Although I'll give you fifty dollars.

Method Of Acting [1.08][edit]

Life Through A Fish Eye Lens [1.09][edit]

Brendon: You ever heard the phrase "Slipped him a Mickey"? As in: Somebody just slipped that guy a mickey, and now everything looks weird to him.

School Nurse [1.10][edit]

Jason: Nurse, beautiful swan.

Mortgages And Marbles [1.11][edit]

Paula: Oh, oh, is she okay? What is that strange wheezing noise?

Doctor: Oh, uh, that's called mouth-breathing. Most children do it, and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.

Law & Boarders [1.12][edit]

Coach McGuirk: Your honor might I suggest a spanking on his tush tush?

Judge: So you were riding your bike on the wrong side of the street. What were you thinking, Brendon?
Brendon: Nothing. Oh, wait, I was trying to remember the name of the guy who played Tron, in Tron.

Judge: You say one more word and I'll hold you in contempt.
Coach McGuirk: Oh, it was Bruce Boxleitner.
Brendon: Right! Thank you!

[Melissa and Jason continue to argue over the jokes for their script]
Brendon: You know what? This is hard, and I think I hate doing this.

Brendon: OK, I'll do the community service. And Mom, I'll help you pay for the damages. But your Honor, I just want you to know this: I have learned absolutely nothing. Good day.
Judge: Brendon...
Brendon: I believe I said good day!

[As part of his court-ordered video essay, Brendon films Melissa and Jason in a dramatic re-enactment of the accident. Melissa and Jason are in a cardboard box car]
Melissa: I love this new car.
Jason: Me too. Do you know what else I love? You.
Melissa: Yeah... We should run over some children.
Jason: Yes! Let's go kill children.
Melissa: Yeah! Look! There's one riding towards us now.
Jason: Well put your seat-belt on. Let's see what this baby can do!
[After running Brendon over with the cardboard-box-car, Melissa and Jason stand over him]
Melissa: Is he still alive?
Jason: Yeah. Hey, go in the trunk, Hotstuff, and go get daddy the bat.
Melissa: Sure thing!
Jason: We'll finish him off.
[When Stephanie comes home at 1:30 in the morning with some gross dude.]
Brendon: Who the hell is that..??
Stephanie: Ohh little B. ..Oh we woke you up I'm sorry..
Brendon: Umm actually, uh, the smell of cheap cologne and whiskey woke me up. I just came down to see whats..
Paula: Okay well uhh great then the nights over and everybody go to bed.

Brendon's Choice [1.13][edit]

Melissa Robbins: You had an affair? And now she's trying to kill us? How could you?
Brendon: I'm sorry.
Melissa Robbins: Who is she?
Brendon: Just some woman.
Melissa Robbins: Is it because I'm fat?
Brendon: No... In fact, she's fat too.

[Brendon, Melissa and Jason have won a trophy for Best Young Filmmakers of the Year]
Brendon: All right, uh, so I'll keep it for the first day, Melissa, uh, keeps it for the second
day, and Jason will keep it for the third day, and we'll keep doing it like that for...
the rest of our lives.
Melissa Robbins: Okay.
Jason: What if, um, one of us gets hit by a car and then it gets mangled?
Brendon: Then you miss your turn.

Dixie Smithley: Excuse me... hi! Hi! I'm Dixie Smithley from Channel 1 News and I wanted to congratulate you kids on your award!
Brendon: Oh!...
Dixie Smithley: I'd love to do a piece on you three kids!
Jason: You mean, um... beat us up?

Season 2[edit]

Politics [2.01][edit]

Thurmond: Tomorrow I’m going to beat the pants off you, Small.
Brendon: Then I guess I won’t bother wearing any.
Thurmond: And try not to cry when you lose.
Brendon: Thanks for your advice, and let me just say this. [blows a raspberry in his face]

Paula: Now don’t misunderstand me, adjectives are good, but one…two…eight adjectives in a row are more than enough to describe some little red boat.
Student: It’s a big green boat.
Paula: Whatever. You get my point.

Paula: So... what were you saying?
Brendon: Move the flowers.
Paula: No, before that.
Brendon: This meatloaf is dry.
Paula: No, before that.
Brendon: This is meatloaf?
Paula: No, before that.
Brendon: This fish is dry.

Lynch: Shannon, what are you doing in the hallway during class time?
Shannon: What are you doing in the hallway during class time?
Lynch: I'm asking you, what are you doing in the hallway during class time?
Shannon: What are you doing in the hallway during class time?
Lynch: What are you doing in the...my students locked me out, but that's neither here nor there.

[Brendon films a movie starring Melissa and Jason as Bonnie and Clyde, who are trying to steal a car using a coat hanger]
Jason: This isn't working. I can't get into the car.
Melissa: I thought you were a criminal!
Jason: I am a criminal. I stole the coat hanger, didn't I?

Brendon: Thank you all for coming here today!
Male Student: We go to school here!
Brendon: Well, okay.

Brendon: Therefore I shall resign the presidency, effective at noon tomorrow.
Male Student: Tomorrow's Saturday!
Brendon: Okay, noon today.
Male Student: It's 2:30!
Brendon: All right! 2:31, I shall resign officially at 2:31 today.

Shannon: Why is Brendon resigning?
Melissa: Because he knows it wasn't a fair election, Shannon. You beat up Thurmond and stuffed the ballot boxes and threatened everybody.
Shannon: No, I didn't.
Melissa: You didn't?
Shannon: No.
Melissa: Then what happened to Thurmond Thackeray?
Shannon: I don't know, maybe he fell. He's a stupid, clumsy kid.
Brendon: [on stage]] And so now I turn the office of the presidency over to the man who should have won. Ladies and gentlemen, Thurmond Thackeray.
[Thurmond walk onto the stage, trips and falls off the stage.]
Melissa: Well, look at that.
Jason:: He's not getting up.

Melissa: But you did steal all those supplies and beat up those kids and stole the CDs.
Shannon: Yeah, Because that's what I do, I'm a thug. We've been over this. What is so hard for you to understand?

Brendon: Any questions? Anybody have any requests?
Female Student: Can we get pizza more?
Brendon: "Pizzamore"! I have no idea what that means. Next question!
Male Student #2: Is ketchup a vegetable?
Brendon: Very good question. Ketchup is actually a fruit. It's a magical fruit...from outer space! Next question.
Male Student: You suck!
Brendon: Looks like we have a heckler in the audience! Why don't I take off my head and remove my brain, and we'll start out as equals, huh? Hello?
Male Student #3: Shut up!
Brendon: I don't think that's a question.

[During the credits]
McGuirk: So what's with women and crying?
McGuirk's mom: Oh man, you suck!
McGuirk: Thanks, mom. My mother, ladies and gentlemen. I remember my first drink too, lady. So anyway, folks...
McGuirk's mom: Yeah, I remember your first drink, too! You were three, and you drank your father's gin!
McGuirk: Oh, my god. It really is my mom.
McGuirk's mom: You know what sucks worse than you?
McGuirk: What?
McGuirk's mom: Nothing!
McGuirk: Wow! This is awkward. So a...
McGuirk's mom: Boo!
McGuirk: All right, mom, I get the point.
McGuirk's mom: Boo!
McGuirk: Anyway, I've been John McGuirk, The Soccer Comic!

Identifying a Body [2.02][edit]

Coach John McGuirk: This sausage is probably eighteen years old... This sausage could vote. It could go to war and die for its country.

Coach John McGuirk: He left me a frozen sausage that's what you're telling me...oh my life.

Hiatus [2.03][edit]

Business & Pleasure [2.04][edit]

The Party [2.05][edit]

Brendon: Melissa, how high can you jump?
Melissa: How high do you need?
Brendon" 18 feet.
(She jumps up a short distance)
Jason: That was a haiku.

Jason: Brendon, can, um, I have another pudding?
Brendon: You already had six.
Jason: No way.
Brendon: Way.
Jason: Wow! That was my goal, but it happened so fast.

Melissa: Jason, what are you getting Fenton for his birthday?
Brendon: Oh, right, Fenton's party.
Jason: Um...I got him an eraser. It's looks like, um, a little football.
Brendon: It sounds great.
Jason: It has a dual fuction.
Melissa: What does it do other than erase?
Jason: You can play catch with it.
Melissa: Oh...
Brendon: You can almost do that with anything.
Jason: But it's shaped like a football, Brendon.
Brendon: Melissa, what did you get him.
Melissa: I got him a CD.
Jason: That's stupid.
Melissa: You could also play catch with it.

Brendon: We need effects, guys.
Jason: Oh, yeah, like some, uh, bones cracking or...
Brendon: Yeah. Oh, I think we need to suspend Melissa in midair when she kicks me...in the stomach.
Melissa: I said I was sorry.

McGuirk: Now listen up. That was a good game. You all showed up, and I'm proud of that.
Melissa: Coach McGuirk, I was just wondering, how come they canceled the game after ten minutes?
McGuirk: Well, because we were losing by twenty goals, Melissa. It's called the slaughter rule. You know, Melissa, if we played the full game, we'd probably would have lost by hundreds goals. I don't know why I'm saying "we." I wasn't out there running around like it was the first time I'd ever used my legs...Melissa.
Melissa: Okay.
McGuirk: You know, it's like when they stop a boxing match because the guy is bleeding too much. You know, all cut up. Only this was worse. I mean, fractured jaws get wired shut. Broken noses become badges of courage...Melissa.
Melissa: Okay.
McGuirk: But to loose by twenty goals in ten minutes is...oh forget it. You played a good game.
(Everybody cheers)

Fenton: Bye, everybody. See you at my party.
Everybody: Bye.
McGuirk: All right, Fenton, waddle out of here. Played a good game.
Fenton: Thanks.
McGuirk: Not really. And thanks again for the invite.
Brendon: What's that, coach McGuirk?
McGuirk: It's an invitation, Brendon. Fenton invited me to his party.
Brendon: You're going to a kid's party?
McGuirk: Of course I'm not going, Brendon. It's nice to be invited, you know.

Junior: The Skunk Scouts are like a second family to me; a family that all wear the same clothes.
Brendon: Well I would have to be like ultimate skunk commander or something.
Junior: Oh you have to earn that. You see this badge, I got this badge for earning that badge.

Melissa: Stop it, Jason. you've had enough. You're embarrassing me.
Jason: (mocking) Stop it, Jason. you've had enough.
Melissa: You're embarrassing yourself.
Jason: You're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me.
Melissa: Keep your voice down.
Jason: Keep your voice down, Melissa.
Melissa: My voice is down.
Jason: Well, mine's down, too, then!
Melissa: Jason, everyone's staring.
Jason: Nobody's staring at me. People are staring at you and your stupid rich-bitch dress.
Melissa: Jason, you've had enough.
Jason: I know when I've had enough, Melissa, all right? And I certainly haven't had enough. The only thing I've had enough of is you.
Melissa: I'm just trying to help you.
Jason: (grabs Melissa) Oh, my god, help me. Help me, Melissa.
Melissa: (hugs Jason) I'll help you, Jason.
Fenton's Mom: (holding a bowl of gummy bears) More candy, kids?
Jason: I gotta go. (grabs the bowl of gummy bears)

Coach John McGuirk: Alright let the games begin. Jolly Jeepers this sucks.

Brendon: [narrating video]] "Who is Fenton Mulley? I mean, Fenton sounds like a drug to take care of a rash or something... Honk, Honk!"
Fenton: Not that funny.

Brendon: [narrating video] Fenton is... thoughtful.
Girl in Duck Sweater: Do you like my new sweater?
Fenton Mulley: Is it supposed to be ugly?

Brendon: [narrating video] Fenton is... generous.
Fenton Mulley: [playing tug-of-war with doll with his foot on Perry's face] It's mine!
Perry: I just want to look at it!
Fenton Mulley: I don't care! It's mine! Don't look at it!
Perry: Walter? W-where are you?

Brendon: [narrating video] Fenton is... grateful.
Fenton Mulley: It's not great at all! I want pony rides!
Fenton's Mom: Renting a pony was too expensive, Fenton. Maybe next year.
Fenton Mulley: Maybe next year? I want pony rides THIS YEAR!
Fenton's Mom: But the magician was supposed to be the...
Fenton Mulley: [interrupting] He sucks, mom!
Fenton's Mom: [shocked] Fenton!
Fenton Mulley: You know what, Mom?
Fenton's Mom: [nearly in tears] What, honey?
Fenton Mulley: I don't love you anymore!
Fenton's Mom: [breaking down] Oh, Fenton!

Impressions [2.06][edit]

Dad [2.07][edit]

Brendon: Mom, can you do me a favor while I'm away?
Paula: Sure, what?
Brendon: I want you to have fun.
Paula: Brendon.
Brendon: See? It doesn't feel so good.
Paula: Go.
Brendon: No!
Paula: Bye, Brendon, have fun.
Brendon: No, you have fun!
Paula: No, you have fun!
Brendon: No, you have fun!
Paula: Brendon, stop it.
Brendon: No.
Paula: Be nice.
Brendon: You be nice.
Paula: You be nice.
Brendon: I...
Paula: [pushes Brendon out the door] You're going, have fun!
Andrew: Hi... Brendon.

Andrew: Oh, by the way, we're going to meet my girlfriend Linda at the zoo, since you've agreed to go to the zoo.
Brendon: What, is she one of the exhibits?
Andrew: Let me tell you something, she could be.
Brendon: Is she an animal?
Andrew: No, you're not kidding.

Andrew: The Sumatran tiger, panthera tigris sumatrae. Says here it's a very beautiful anima, and very rare.
Brendon: I like my beautiful animals medium rare.
Andrew: Good one.
Brendon: Thank you.

Linda:: So, can we leave now?
Andrew: Well, actually we're waiting for the Panthera tigris verius rarus to come out us.
Brendon: He's a very shy animal.
Linda:: Why don't you just throw a rock at it?
Andrew: We should probably just get going
Brendon: Yeah, let's get going.

Andrew: Hey, can you see the stars?
Brendon: [looking through a telescope] Those people are famous?
Andrew: Stop looking in people's windows, Brendon.
Brendon: Hey did you ever see any murders?
Andrew: No.

Linda:: Where's my blue towel?
Andrew: Huh?
Linda:: Did you take a blue towel off the shelf?
Brendon: I, uh, I might have, what color was it?
Linda: Yeah, I think you did.

Linda: [talking to Andrew in another room] I ask one thing: don't let anybody use my towel.
Brendon: [quietly to himself] I'll use your stupid towel any time I want. And your stupid green towel and your stupid red towel. [looks through a telescope] Hey, shooting star. You know what? I'll use your toothbrush too. That's what I'll do.
Linda: Did you use my toothbrush?!
[Brendon snickers]

Linda: [in her underwear] Why didn't you wake me?
Andrew: Uh, Linda, could you get a robe on or something?
Brendon: Good morning to me!
Linda: You were supposed to wake me at 7:45.
Andrew: I did.
Linda: Yeah, well, you didn't do a very good job of it. It's 8:30!
Andrew: I know, but--
Linda: I've got to be at the cancer institute at 9:00!
Andrew: I'm sorry, I guess you fell back to sleep.
Linda: Oh, so you're only going to wake me once, is that it? I get one shot and that's it. Thanks a lot. Now I gotta rush. Great. I'm going to have a fun day at the cancer institute.

Andrew: Things are going to be different, Brendon. Now that I'm living closer, we're going to spend a lot more time together.
Brendon: Will I see you next weekend?
Andrew: No, next weekend I'm in Dallas.
Brendon: Oh.

Jason: Brendon, maybe this will help. One night I walked into my parents' bedroom, and my parents saw me naked.
Brendon: You were naked?
Jason: Yeah.
Melissa: Why were you naked?
Jason: I love it.

McGuirk: All right, everybody, quiet do

Therapy [2.08][edit]

[About the movie they made]
Jason: It feels soft
Melissa: I think it feels flat.
Brendon: Yes, soft and flat like a bathroom rug. It also feels forced. Like somebody forced a bathroom rug into something. Like a hamper.

Jason: I hate my acting. It's horrible.
Melissa: You think you're bad. What about me? I couldn't act my way into a paper bag. Into.
Brendon: Are you guys serious? My acting sucks on ice. What was I doing up there? That was not acting, that's for sure.
Jason: Brendon, why don't you put some extra bait on that hook.
Melissa: Yeah, and don't forget your tackle box for your compliment fishing trip.
Brendon: I thought we were all fishing for compliments. That's what we were--oh, forget it.

Melissa: Guys, should we maybe rehearse this more when we shoot it?
Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
Brendon: Yeah, nobody's acting is that bad.

Linda: You're acting like a child.
Andrew: What does that mean?
Brendon: Wait, me or him?
Linda: Both of you.
Brendon: Well, I am a child, so, thank you.

Brendon: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's reschedule the race, and we'll just let Linda win.
Andrew: Brendon, do not patronize Linda.
Brendon: I thought I was patronizing you.

Andrew: I can't believe we're arguing about shoes.
Linda: No, don't do that. It's more than that.
Brendon: Maybe we should argue about something else!

Linda: No, it's serious. If you can't interpret what's really going on, then how is this whole thing going to work? It's stupid.
Andrew: Well, maybe it is stupid.
Brendon: Then it is unanimous. Something's stupid!
Andrew: Brendon!
Brendon: Hey, I'm sorry, but I am the winner of the race and-
Linda: Oh, can we stop talking about the stupid race?

[after watching a video of them in therapy]
Linda: I'm so embarrassed.
Therapist: Well, that's why I tape the first session. So that we can see how embarrassing we are.
Brendon: Man, my acting is horrible. I'm really in a slump.
Andrew: Does this cost more? The taping?
Therapist: A little.

Andrew: Listen, doctor, I'd like to apologize for everybody's bickering.
Brendon: And I'd like to accept our apology.

Brendon: [to the therapist] Uh, yeah, that's very interesting. I like what you said about the things, and--I'm sorry, I wasn't listening at all.

Brendon: Mom, I don't like going to therapy with dad and Linda.
Paula: It's only for a trial bases, you know. You could just give it a try.
Brendon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Paula: Look, you dad thinks it'll help you guys deal with the tension of Linda being in your lap. Wait, that came out wrong.

Paula: But are you learning anything? I mean, psychology can be kind of interesting.
Brendon: Well, I learned that "should" is a word I shouldn't use.
Paula: Why shouldn't you?
Brendon: I don't know. Because it makes the doctor mad. He should lighten up a little.
Paula: Maybe you should lighten up a little.
Brendon: Maybe you should go to therapy with Linda.
Paula: Maybe she should lighten up a little.
Brendon: Maybe everybody should lighten up a little.
Paula: What should we have for dinner?
Brendon: We should have pizza.
Paula: We should have salad, too.
Brendon: You should have salad.
Paula: Maybe Linda should have salad?
Brendon: I feel that it would be in her best interest.
Paula: Should be in her best interest.
Brendon: What do you mean? Whose best interest?
Paula: The salad.
Brendon: The salad is in Linda's best interest?
Paula: No, the pizza's in the salad's best interest...the point is, Brendon, you don't have to go to therapy. But I think a person like you really should.

Andrew: How was school, Brendon?
Brendon: [reading the food menu] Blah.
Andrew: Well, great. And how was your day, Linda?
Linda: [reading the food menu] Um...
Andrew: Fantastic.

McGuirk: Here's a piece of advice, Brendon. There is no such thing as psychology. It's all just made up crap. They're all con-men, all of them, even the women. Just remember that when they tell you how screwed up you are.
Brendon: Okay.
McGuirk:And, um, let me tell you something else. Astronomy...is b/s too. All that star crap is ridiculous.
Brendon: But there are stars.
McGuirk: Whatever, Brendon.

Brendon:Did you ever go to a therapist?
McGuirk:Well, ya, sometimes you gotta do certain things to reenter society.

Class Trip [2.09][edit]

[Shooting a movie]
Jason: [as dad, talking from upstairs] Amelia? What are you doing in the den, dear?
Melissa: [as Amelia] Nothing, dad. I'll be done in a minute. I'm just cooking.
Jason: In the den?
Melissa: I mean reading.
Jason: In the den?
Melissa: I like to read and think in here.
Jason: In the den?
Melissa: Good night, dad. Go to bed.

McGuirk: Principal Plumb! Beautiful morning, isn't it? Coffee machine is on the fritz again, so I threw it on your car. Sorry. Is it, uh...could you check if it's working? No?

Paula: Hey, Brendon, you know Mr. Lynch called me today.
Brendon: Mr. Lynch?
Paula: Mm-Hmm.
Brendon: You mean my Mr. Lynch?
Paula: You don't own him.
Brendon: Yes, I do. He's mine.

Brendon: But, mom, why do you want to go? You've been to hotels millions of times.
Paula: It's my duty as a parent to help out.
Brendon: No, it isn't.
Paula: Yes, it is.
Brendon: No, you shouldn't have to help out at all. That's why we pay taxes.
Paula: I'm a much better citizen than that.

Fenton: I gotta pee.
Paula: Wait. Did Brendon get off bus already?
Fenton: I can't wait! It's a bodily function. Bodily functions don't wait!
Paula: Okay, go inside but come right back.

Walter: Perry is gonna be sick.
Perry: I have seasickness.
Walter: I keep telling him we're on land, but he won't listen.
Perry: It doesn't matter. Land or sea, I get seasick on the bus.

Walter: Fenton, wait for us.
Perry: Wait for us. I'm seasick.
Fenton: No!
Walter: Perry's sick.
Perry: I'm sick, Fenton. Have mercy.
Fenton: Don't follow me. I've gotta pee!
Walter: Perry, he's getting away. Hurry.
Perry: It makes me sick when I run.
Walter: Okay, you walk I'll run, Perry.

Paula: Mr. Lynch, do you have Walter and Perry on your list? They're not on my list.
Lynch: I don't bother listing them. They never run away.
Paula: Never?

Walter: If you throw up, I'll throw up.
Perry: Okay, let's both throw up at the same time. Count of three, okay?
Walter: Okay.

Ken Addleburg: Okay, so that's how you do that. Now I want to show you how to turn down a bed if they ever ask you to do something.
Fenton: What did he say?
Ken: That's a little hotel humor.
[nobody laughs]
Ken: Line up, people, so we have all day.
Fenton: I can barely understand what you're saying?!

Walter: Perry, I want to stay in a hotel.
Perry: I want to live in a hotel.
Walter: I want to be a hotel manager.
Perry: I want to be a maitre d'
Walter: I want to be a bellhop.
Perry: I want to be a waiter.
Walter: I want to be a bell.
Fenton: Shut up.
Perry: Okay.

Paula: Have you seen Brendon?
Lynch: Uh, no I haven't, Paula. Uh, you know, I remember my first field trip, like yours. It was the aquarium. I was very nervous. Just me and 42 kids.
Paula: Where is Brendon?
Lynch: [sighs] I was so afraid I was going to lose some, and they were running all over the place.
Paula: What happened?
Lynch: I lost some kids.

Clarisse: My girlfriend and I were born on the same exact day.
McGurik: Well, that's exciting? What day was that, D-Day?
Clarisse: No. You're funny.
McGurik: Yes, I am.
Clarisse: My boyfriend could get really jealous of you.
McGurik: Uh-huh. Look, little mama, let me tell you something, all right? I'm here to do my time, make my money, and that's it. I can't possibly get involved with a coworker. That would be wrong. Plus, how old are you?
Clarisse: 18.
McGurik: I could potentially get involved with a coworker.

Ken: [lifting weights] 48...49...and 50. [sets the weights down]
Fenton: Ahem. That was only 49.
Ken: No, no it's 50. You did not count the first one.
Fenton: No, I counted the first one. It was 49.
Ken: Listen to me you little punk...

[In front of a coffee shop]
Brendon: This is the perfect place to shoot the final scene.
Melissa: Let's go back to the hotel.
Brendon: No, no, no. It's fine. Plus I have to pee, so...
Melissa: Hold your breath.
Jason: Uh, I think that only works for hiccups.
Melissa: It works for pee, too.

Paula: [on her cell phone] Okay. Okay. Uh-huh. Thank you. Bye. [hangs up her cell phone] They found Alison. She was at the airport. She's fine.

Perry: I'm awake. Are you watching me sleep, Walter?
Walter: Yes. You're beautiful when you sleep.
Perry: Watch me now.
Walter: Okay. Shut your eyes.
Perry: I shut my eyes.
Walter: Oh my god. It's beautiful.

Melissa: I knew we were gonna get in trouble.
Jason: Yeah, but it was fun.
Melissa: Yeah, you should have seen the look on your face when those people walked in the room. You were like, "Aah!"
Jason: That's me, all right. You should have seen your face. You were like, "Waa!" and then your face went like this. [makes shocked face expression]
Melissa: Yeah.
Jason: And then you were like this. [makes a sad face]
Melissa: Yeah, I'm gonna look out the window for a while.

History [2.10][edit]

Picasso [played by Jason]: Revenge! The time is now!
George Washington [played by Brendon]: Yes! But I must insist we vote, for we must uphold democracy. Picasso
Annie Oakley [played by Melissa]: Aye!
Picasso: Aye!
Washington: Aye! Wait, were we agreeing to vote or was that the vote?

Picasso: Look, we're being watched by Starboy and the Captain of Outer Space.
Annie: Then they must know of our plan.
Washington: Not to worry, my evil ones, we've yet to reveal our biggest secret. Bring in the hostages!
William Shakespeare [played by Walter]: I'm Shakespeare.
Oliver Twist [played by Perry]: And I'm Oliver Twist.
The Mermaid Queen [played by Junior]: And I'm the Mermaid Queen.
All: Help us!
Picasso: Yes, if anything should happen to us while we innocently destroy the human race, the hostages get it! And we start with Shakespeare.
Shakespeare: No! I'm too young, and I'm still writing my masterpiece called Katz.
Annie: And you'll be next, Oliver Twist.
Oliver: Fine with me.
[Oliver starts laughing, Shakespeare and The Mermaid Queen also starts laughing]
Annie: Silence!
Washington: And finally you, the mermaid.
The Mermaid Queen: But I no do nothing wrong and neither do the other four.
Oliver: The other two.
Shakespeare: Three.
The Mermaid Queen: The other...
Annie: Two.
The Mermaid Queen: Two? I'm sorry, I have trouble with the mathematics. Look, I am just saying, please don't kill The Mermaid Queen!
Washington: You interfere and they get it! Understand, Starboy?

Melissa: Brendon, you okay?
Brendon: I hope he doesn't talk to me next.
Melissa: Why not?
Brendon: Because I hate discussing grades with Mr. Lynch, particularly my grades.
Melissa: But he's the teacher.
Brendon: Exactly, you know, he's got the upper hand. He knows my weaknesses.
Melissa: Brendon, why don't you just do your homework?
Brendon: Why? Because I try never to take my work home with me.
Melissa: But it's called "homework".
Brendon: It's a life quality issue, Melissa.

McGuirk: I got to admit, Brendon, I'm a little disappointed in you. I thought we worked on history.
Brendon: Well, the few answers that you told me were wrong, and most of the other stuff you told me never came up.
McGuirk: All right, what did I tell you again?
Brendon: About the Area 51 stuff and the conspiracy theories.
McGuirk: All that stuff is true, Brendon, all right? That's the stuff they don't want you to know about.
Brendon: Right.
McGuirk: Probably why they failed you, you know. Because you're in on it, now you're complicit, now you know.
Brendon: Right.
McGuirk: Now you're singled out.
Brendon: Sure.
McGuirk: You got to watch your back.
Brendon: Right.

McGuirk: You remember what I told you about Area 51?
Brendon: Yeah, it's where they store the frozen bodies of the aliens that landed on Earth.
McGuirk: What about Area 52?
Brendon: That's where they store the frozen bodies of the illegal aliens.
McGuirk: All right, good. It's also a porn movie.

McGuirk: Well, what did they ask you about?
Brendon: Historical figures.
McGuirk: That's not important. Like Jimmy Hoffa?
Brendon: No, more like Washington.
McGuirk: Well, just plug in the Area 51 answer.

The lyrics to "Mr.pants" rap, performed by Dwayne
I’m Mr. Pants and I’m coming to get ya’
Better run for your life, you better run or I’ll get ya’
I got paws like a cat cause that’s what I am
I’ll throw up on your carpet and scratch up your hands
I 'm the roughest toughest kitty in the land
My name is Mr. Pants I’m the kitty cat man
Nobody’s gonna stop me from having my way
My name is Mr. Pants and have a nice day
You’ll scream for your life cause you won’t be happy
My name is Mr. Pants and I’m actually kind of grabby
Mr. Pants is my name and I’d like to say hi
Give me a call we’ll hang out some time I’m Mr. Pants!
I’m the furry fella getting in the land
My name is Mr. Pants I’m the kitty cat man
Nobody’s gonna stop me from having my way
My name is Mr. Pants and have a nice day…
Mr. Pants!!!

Lynch: Okay, so then, tell me what you know about Washington.
Brendon: It's a junior high?
Lynch: Hmm...
Brendon: It's on Washington Street?
Lynch: Hmm...
Brendon: He was the one who discovered Washington state?
Lynch: Hmm...
Brendon: I don't know, I guess he was the first president?
Lynch: Yes, and...?
Brendon: He's evil
Lynch: Uh...no.

Lynch: You know, Brendon, a lot of this information is actually in your book. Remember those things with the cover-like on them?
Brendon: Uh, the books.
Lynch: Yeah, remember the one that says "History" and has Washington on the cover?
Brendon: Yeah, um, I got that somewhere.
Lynch: Yeah, that's a history book.
Brendon: Okay.

Lynch: Brendon...
Brendon: Yeah?
Lynch: Do you feel like you get easily distracted? Let me put this another way: You get easily distracted. Did you know that?
Brendon: Well, let me ask you something. Do you know how hot dogs are made?
Lynch: Hmm...I think we're going to have to find a way to get you to focus.
Brendon: On what?
Lynch: On what? On what do you think?
Brendon: On what do I think?
Lynch: Yes.
Brendon: Yes, as in correct?
Lynch: Yes, as in correct! Now, what do you think is what you should focus on?
Brendon: Yes, as in correct on what do I think is what I should focus on?
Lynch: Mm-hmm.
Brendon: On those grades of mine?
Lynch: Yes, as in correct, but I think the problem here is that you have a hard time paying attention.
Brendon: On that, What I think is yes, as in correct.

[After seeing the end of the movie]
Paula: Foremothers, huh?
Brendon: Yeah, I wanted to be equal.
Paula: Yeah.
Brendon: Did you enjoy it?
Paula: Mm...yes. It was a little confusing.
Brendon: Well, it's the kind of movie you have to watch a few times to totally get.
Paula: I'm sort of concerned, though, about your brains.
Brendon: What about them?
Paula: I'm concerned that they might have been damaged.
Brendon: Oh, so, you've seen my test.
Paula: I don't think that counted as a test, because in a test, you're supposed to answer the questions.
Brendon: I know.
Paula: You did not answer the questions.
Brendon: I know.
Paula: Though you did diagram the sentences of the questions...
Brendon: Yeah.
Paula: Which you did wrong.
Brendon: Am I in trouble?
Paula: Well, the bad news is you are grounded.
Brendon: What's the good news?
Paula: I'm not letting you use your camera for a week.
Brendon: I think that's still bad news.
Paula: Trust me. That is good news.

Writer's Block [2.11][edit]

McGuirk: DVD PLAYER!!!!

Walter and Perry: we hate fenton, we hate fenton.
Students: he was a good test subject...I'll call the cops.

Pizza Club [2.12][edit]

Andrew: How's the documentary?
Brendon: Good.
AndrewHow's Cynthia?
Brendon: Hates me.
Andrew: Good, everything seems to be in order then.
Brendon: Actually, the way I had it originally planned is that she would like me instead of hate. I somehow mixed it up.
Andrew Ah.
Brendon: Yeah.
Andrew: You accidentally made her hate you instead of like you?
Brendon: Yes I must have mixed something up.
Andrew: Hmm, sometimes that happens, a classic problem. Did you uh, try too hard around her?
Brendon: Yes, I tried very hard, I tried very, very hard.
Andrew: It didn’t work? Have you been acting weird around her?
Brendon: Yes!
Andrew: Unnatural? Did you try acting unnaturally?
Brendon: Yes! I rehearsed.
Andrew: Right. Did you blurt stuff out you didn’t mean?
Brendon: Yes! I figured, I’m gonna make myself more memorable.
Andrew: Mmhmm, right. So she’s never seen you relaxed?
Brendon: No, she’s never seen me-No. And she still hates me!
Andrew: Hmm, well have you told her how you feel about her?
Brendon: Hahahahaha, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

The Wedding [2.13][edit]

(trying on tuxedos)
Andrew: It looks more like i'm going to my prom than my wedding.
Brendon: Yeah. So you're thinking the green ones, with the big ties--those are better?

(trying on tuxedos)
Brendon: I look like a magician!
Andrew: No you look like a waiter, in a restaurant that has no child labor laws.

McGuirk: You wanna know what a real rash is? I'll tell you! You get a rash somewhere on your body. It hurts so bad that YOU GO BLIND. You blow up like a balloon...end up looking like a circus freak. Next thing you know, you're IN THE CIRCUS. Touring, making good money. You know my life.

Melissa: Let me summon my dragon, my beloved friend and slave.
Brendon: Sounds like a complicated relationship.
Melissa: Not for me!

Jason: Maybe its the creepy crud.
Melissa: It looks like creepy crud.
Brendon: Guys it's just the creepy crud, don't worry about it.

Melissa: Did a baby put its butt on your neck?
Brendon: I don't think so...
Jason: Are you sure Brendon? Maybe while you were sleeping?

Season 3[edit]

Shore Leave [3.01][edit]

[Melissa is in the mall selling items in her Fairy Princess costume.]
McGuirk: Give me those wings.
Melissa: No, I'll get in trouble. Coach, please.
McGuirk: No. Coach wants to fly away.
Melissa: Coach, are you drunk?
McGuirk: Yeah, that's why I came to the mall.

{Melissa, Jason and Brendon are in their movies about two mates and a captain on shore leave, with Melissa as the captian}
Melissa: I gots a better idea what we can do! Let's punch out some scumsuckers, and get drunk, and pee out the window! Then seduce women! Lots of women! Arrgh!
Jason: What window?

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do [3.02][edit]

(fire breaks out in kitchen)
Paula: Oh my god--Brendon, don't panic!
Brendon: ok. ...um, why do they call this a 'tablespoon'?

(fire rages in kitchen)
Paula: And get my wallet and checkbook, they're in the third drawer--
Brendon: I know where they are mother!
Paula: Brendon how do you know where my wallet and checkbook are?
Brendon: ...what?
Paula: How do you know where my wallet and checkbook are?
Brendon: ...Brendon can't come to the uh, hallway, right now...
Paula: Explanation please!
Brendon: uhh...you know we really should think about calling the fire department.

Paula's Mother: Hi Paula, how was your fire? I'm getting a divorce.

Paula: Well I just off the phone with dad--he's really broken up about this.
Paula's Mother: Oh please, the only way to break that man's heart would be to whack it with a sledge-hammer... or take away his anti-depressants. Let's get something to eat, I'm starved!

Paula: How can you be so calm?
Paula's Dad: Well I've had a couple of glasses of sherry.
Paula: You've had what?
Paula's Dad: Well I've had 6 or 7 glasses of sherry.

Bad Influences [3.03][edit]

Jason: Makes me hungry just thinking about all the heat.
Jason: Damn hungry hot.
Brendon: Damn Chips...

Brendon: Jason, I'm going to leave you.
Jason: No. Brenden, no.
Brendon: We have to leave each other.
Jason: No, Brenden, we only have each other. And food.
Brendon: Jason, we have to leave each other. We can't do this anymore.
Jason: [sighs]

Jason: [holding onto Brenden's foot] But I love you.
Brendon: It was nice knowing you. [sniffle] Goodbye.
Jason: [sigh] Goodbye... my sweet fat prince. [long pause] Leave the chips.
Brendon: OK.

Improving Your Life Through Improv [3.04][edit]

Four's Company [3.05][edit]

Renaissance [3.06][edit]

Melissa: "Jason, aren't you more interested in the history of medieval times? I mean, it really happened."
Jason: "So did the sci-fi stuff."
Melissa: "When, in the future?"
Jason: "No! That's why you don't understand it. It's already happening."

My Cheatin' Heart [3.07][edit]

Jason: Sucks this. Get it? It's backwards for "this sucks."

Melissa: Do you think I'm a horrible person?
Jason: No, I think you're very pretty
Melissa: I don't mean horrible to look at, I mean horrible because you're my sister's fiance and we just had an affair.
Jason: Oh, then yeah.

Guitarmageddon [3.08][edit]

McGuirk: What the hell is wrong with you people. Are you on drugs?
Brendon: No.
Melissa: No.
McGuirk: With all the nicknames. What are those, drug nicknames?
Melissa: They're band nicknames.

Storm Warning [3.09][edit]

Perry: Sounds trite.
Walter: Yeah, it sounds like it's been done before.
Paula: No, I don't think so...
Walter: Lame!
Perry: Double Lame-o!
Walter: Yeah!
Perry: Double Lame-O Donkey D*ck!
Walter: Sucking on the Witch's T*t!
(Walter and Perry embrace and fall down, laughing)

Time To Pay The Price [3.10][edit]

Jason: What's detention?
Brendon: It when they make you sit in a room and...that's about it.
Jason: So it's like therapy.
Brendon: Kind of.

Paula: Hey, you mind setting the table? Dinner's going to be ready soon.
Brendon: Can I do it after dinner?
Paula: Sure.

Melissa: So, what do we do about the movie? We can't use the location because it's trespassing, and we can't film during the day because we can't close off the set.
Jason: Well, we could rebuild the set in the basement.
Melissa: I don't know. I don't think it's in the budget.
Jason: What's the budget?
Melissa: Well, we had a dollar, but then we bought the binder.
Jason: Well, why did we buy the binder?
Melissa: To keep the budget inside.
Jason: That's idiotic. You just spend all the money for the movie on the binder for the budget of the movie.
Melissa: Yeah, don't tell Brendon.

Jason: Um, wait, so these are videotapes of the movies we made?
Brendon: Yeah. They're the videos of them. They're the movies, Jason.
Jason: We were taping those movies?
Brendon: Yeah.
Jason: Well...let's burn them.

[The Box-Bots]
Jason: Tell my girlfriend that I will miss her.
Brendon: I can't. We're all being caught.
Jason: Well, tell me that you'll miss me, then.
Brendon: I going to miss you.
Melissa: Here they come.
Brendon, Jason, & Melissa: It's time to pay the price.

[environmental film]
Melissa: [as a lumberjack] I'm going to chop you down, tree.
Brendon: [as a tree] Well, okay, but, um, don't, um, because what about the environment?
Jason: [as a skunk, moves from behind Brendon] Hello, I'm a skunk.
Brendon: Hello.
Melissa: Hello.
Jason: Hey, um, I mean, don't chop down the forest.
Melissa: Okay, I won't chop down the forest, just this tree.
Brendon: But I'm a tree, and I'm a house for birds and chipmunks and cats and dogs. And I can be useful for people, too. I can be made into wood...
Jason: Oh, man. Chop it down.
Melissa: I'm with you skunk.
Brendon: Hey, you guys suck.
Jason: Lumberjack.
Melissa: Yep?
Jason: Pass me that ax.
[chops Brendon down with the ax and falls down]
Brendon: [bleeding maple syrup] Aaaah! It hurts!
Melissa: You can't shut this one up.
Jason: Hope you learned your lesson, tree.
Jason & Melissa: It's time to pay the price.

Jason: [talking about the movie they made] Brendon, this is the one that you ripped off "The Verdict".
Brendon: I didn't rip off "The Verdict". We ripped off "The Verdict".

[The Verdict rip-off]
Brendon: [as a lawyer] Isn't it true that you are lying?!
Melissa: [as a nurse] No!
Brendon: Isn't it true that you are lying?!
Melissa: No! I'm telling the truth! I do work at that hospital, and those are my initials, but the time was altered.
Brendon: How on Earth do you explain that the time was altered?!
Melissa: I can't! I can't explain!
Brendon: Then who on Earth altered the time?!
Melissa: [pointing to the defendant's lawyer] That man!
Jason: [as the defendant's lawyer] Oh.
Brendon: Are you sure it's that man?
Melissa: I'm almost positive.
Brendon: Are you sure it wasn't that man over there...the defendant's client?
Melissa: Uh, yes. I meant to point more to the right. [points to the bailiff who is also Jason] That man!
Brendon: The bailiff?
Melissa: No. To the left.
Jason: [as the judge] Order in the court. Order in the court. You, it's time to pay the price.

Brendon: [talking about his finger] That isn't loaded, it is?
Pendlehurst: What did you say?
Brendon: Ahem. Your finger...it's really, really close to my face. I'm having intimacy issues with it.
Pendlehurst: Stand up...right...now.

McGuirk: You poured sugar in Pendlehurst's gas tank?
Brendon: No. Some other kids did, but we ended up getting caught.
McGuirk: So what's the punishment?
Brendon: He's making us do this Scared Straight thing at the prison he used to work at.
McGuirk: Scared Straight? You're already straight.
Brendon: I'm already scared.

McGuirk: I've been to the can a few times, Brendon. That's what we call it, the can. So when you're there, you call it the can, all right?
Brendon: What do you call cans in prison?
McGuirk: You mean, actual cans
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: Like food? Cans of food?
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: Those are still cans.

Brendon: All right. How do you do?
McGuirk: [crazy] No! No, man! No, Man! No! I don't think so! I don't think so! All Right?!
Brendon: All right.
McGuirk: [crazy] Is it?
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: [crazy] Is it? [normal] See what I mean?
Brendon: That was good.
McGuirk: Freaks you out.
Brendon: Feel my heart. It's pounding.

McGuirk: And here's another thing: make a shiv.
Brendon: Yeah? How do you do that.
McGuirk: I don't know. You find stuff, you make it. You can stab someone with anything.
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: You wear glasses?
Brendon: No.
McGuirk: You wear contacts?
Brendon: No.
McGuirk: You can make a knife out of contacts.
Brendon: Really?
McGuirk: That's where I learned.
Brendon: Wow.
McGuirk: I killed a man with contacts.
Brendon: In the can?
McGuirk: Yeah.
Brendon: Wow.

McGuirk: And the other thing is that you can make a knife out of tags from T-shirts.
Brendon: Like, the clothes tags?
McGuirk: Yeah. Because they're a little harder than the material.
Brendon: And that's enough to...
McGuirk: To penetrate skin.
Brendon: Wow.
McGuirk: You just got to find the right spot.

Prison Guard #1: Pendlehurst? Is that you?
[Prison Guard #1 & #2 laughing]
Prison Guard #1: Oh, my gosh, it is. Look. Pendlehurst is back.
Prison Guard #2: [to Pendlehurst] I thought you weren't coming back.
(Prison Guard #1 & #2 laughing)
Prisoner Guard #2: Hey, Pendlehurst is back.
[Prison Guard #1 & #2 laughing]
Prisoner Guard #1: Hey, Pendlehurst!
Prisoner Guard #2: Hey, hey, who am I? Pendlehurst.
Prisoner Guard #1: Hey, Pendlehurst!

[Starboy: The Phantom Girlfriend Menace]
Brendon: [as Starboy] You're not my friend.
Jason: (as Captain of Outer Space) Listen to me, Starboy. I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't care about you.
Brendon: Oh, you're stupid, Captain of Outer Space.
Jason: But what I say is true, Starboy. The woman you love is a ghost who's trying to kill you.
Brendon: You lie! You jealous liar!
Melissa: [as Ghost Lady] Whoo-ooh! Whoo-ooh!
Jason: What's that noise?
Melissa: You blew my cover, Captain of Outer Space.
Jason: I told you, Starboy.
Brendon: I'm sorry Captain of Outer Space. From now on, I'll believe you.
Jason: Little late for that.
Brendon: Hey, Ghost Lady, I breaking it off with you. I didn't realize at first that you were a ghost who was trying to kill me. Had I know that up front, I probably wouldn't have dated you. Or maybe I would have. I don't know. But that's definitely something you should have told me up front.
Melissa: Nobody breaks up with Ghost Lady. It's time to pay the price. Whoo-ooh!

Prisoner: Boo! Booooo!
Jason: Uh, I think this guy is actually trying to scare us straight.

Prisoner: I came from a broken home!
Jason: Here we go.
Prisoner: Then I got put in jail for robbing a bank! But before that...Ok. Wait. Oh, no. I was in a bank. Ok. Let me start over. I was in a gang, and then I got put in prison, and then I robbed a bank! No. Wait a second. I robbed the bank first. Ok. Bear with me, people. I'm going to look at some notes. [looks at his notes] Ok. I got it. I worked at a bank, then I robbed it, then I came to prison.
Brendon: Gong.

McGuirk: We all live in our own prisons, Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: I mean, we're all trapped in these bodies.
Brendon: Yeah.
McGuirk: You have to go to school. That's a prison.
Brendon: That is a prison.
McGuirk: I have to be a soccer coach.
Brendon: That's a prison.
Brendon: This conversation...
McGuirk: It's a prison.
Brendon: It's a prison. Can't get out of it.

[music video]
Jason: The T to the P to the P
[Brendon joins in beat boxing]
Jason & Melissa: P to the A to the Y
Jason: It's time to pay the price today.

[prison film]
Jason: Well, we've done a lot of bad things, right, guys?
Melissa: Yes, we have. Yes, we have.
Brendon: And now we're here in jail.
Melissa: Yes, we are. We're here being punished.
Jason: And we hate it. But what can we do? We did wrong.
Brendon: We can't do anything. Justice has been done. It's time to...[mumbling] pop it pop...
Melissa: Yeah.
Jason: You speak the truth, my brother. It is time to...
Melissa: Time for that.
Jason: Yes, time to...
Brendon & Melissa: Pay the...
[all mumbling]
Jason: What time is it, actually?
Brendon: It's 2:30.
Jason: Yeah, I got to go home.
Brendon: Okay, fade to black. The End. Well, we tried.

Broken Dreams [3.11][edit]

Jason: I'm Melissa.

Brendan: (to Melissa) You read a book a month? Man, it would take me like a year to read a book a month.

Coach McGuirk: (to Brendon) Quarter for the bus, quarter for the bus. The end. Hey Brendon, the end.

Stowaway [3.12][edit]

Coffins And Cradles [3.13][edit]

Coach McGuirk: I'm a Big Beautiful woman..... These are Chunky Soup Cans. (As he grabs his bra)

Coach McGuirk: One plus two equals McGuirk. Two plus four equals she's hot. Six minus four equals McGuirk's happy.

Brendon: I'm leaving, doctor I'm sorry you had to see me this way.
Linda: Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Brendon: What?
Linda: You heard me.
Brendon: No I was outside, what?

Brendon: KNOCK, KNOCK!
Linda: WHO'S THERE?!
Brendon: FUCK YOU!!
Linda: FUCK YOU!! WHO?!
Doctor: Nice kid.
Brendon: FUCK YOU!
Linda: FUCK YOU!

Coach McGuirk: Oh my god it's death!
Melissa: Coach it's me Melissa.
Coach McGuirk: Oh my god it's Melissa!
Melissa: This is my costume.
Coach McGuirk: Hey you know Melissa you shouldn't be walking around the hospital dressed as death.

Season 4[edit]

Everyone's Entitled To My Opinion [4.01][edit]

McGuirk: What else are ya gonna do, Lynch? Are you gonna spank me? Spank me.
Lynch: McGuirk...
McGuirk: [pulls down pants] Here. Here it is, spank it.

Camp [4.02][edit]

Brendon: I can't believe the water is hotter than the air!
Jason: Don't talk Brendon, I'm peeing.

Random Campers: RABBIT TROOP SUCKS!!!

Crywalkers: MAN-HUG!!

McGuirk: Brendon, try these leaves. They're poisonous.

McGuirk: Alright, look! Here's what i need. Food. Fast food, preferrably. Beer. Light Beer. Preferrably.
Brendon: Alright, Melissa, do you mind fake writing this down?
Melissa: Yeah.
Brendon: OK. Go ahead!
McGuirk: I need a satellite map of this entire area
Brendon: OK. Melissa write it down
Melissa: Got it.
McGuirk: I need some hair dye, a fake moustache, i need gunpowder..
Melissa: Coach, Would you settle for some marshmellows?
McGuirk: Oh you got marshmellows?
Melissa: We can get you some marshmellows.
McGuirk: Yeah! Ill take 'em. Hey!, lets make smores! You got graham crackers?
Melissa: No.
McGuirk: Sh*t.

Bye, Bye Greasy [4.03][edit]

Melissa: I am Noodles. How's it goin'.

Fenton: He punched me.
Mr. Lynch: Who did?
Brendon: Fenton.
Fenton: Uh, me did. It's a lighting thing.

McGuirk: Everybody move, I got to back up. [he backed up but got bumped by a box] Oh, my God. Somebody move that box over there! [He backs up again, but got bumped yet again] Oh, [censor beep] it. [he backs up again but this time the car hit down the stage]
Audience: [clapping]

The Heart Smashers [4.04][edit]

Jason: The mighty Septopus, a horrible beast with seven testicles.
Brendon: Tentacles, captain.
Jason: Tentacles, right.

Fenton: Oh, I almost forgot everybody. I wrote the theme song to the movie on my way over here.
Jason: Cool.
Brendon: What?
Melissa: Let's hear it.
Brendon: No. Guys...
Fenton: 2, 3, 4. [singing] Beware the mighty Septopus, what a dandy guy.
Brendon: What?
Fenton: [singing] Lives on top the submarine and he's always eating pies.
Brendon: He doesn't eat pies.
Fenton: [singing] He's always eating pies up there and throwing festivals.
Brendon: He doesn't throw festivals.
Fenton: [singing] He's the grandest guy in town with seven testicles!
Brendon: Tentacles.
Fenton: [singing] Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, Septopus, [Jason & Melissa joins in] Septopus, Septopus, Septo...

Fenton: [playing his video game] I believe the character would have this. I mean it's his motivation from playing the game.
Brendon: I respect that but however he's a possessed stowaway, possessed by the Septopus. Why would he have a video game? It makes no sense, look we're running out of time.
Fenton: [playing his video game] Okay, he just would Brendon, You're overthinking it, he just would. And I don't know what to tell you. Ooh, I got another man!

McGuirk: Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah?
McGuirk: Notice anything different about me?
Brendon: What, your giant boobs?
McGuirk: They're not boobs, they're pecs. Big differences.
Brendon: I don't think so, I think they're called boobs or breast.
McGuirk: No. Have you ever been to a gym?
Brendon: No.
McGuirk: At a gym, boobs are called pecs.

Coach McGuirk: What are you looking at?
Brendon: [staring at Coach McGurk's pecs] Nothing, no. I just caught myself staring at your boobs.

Brendon: We known each other for a while and uh...you know we work together and we play together and this just ultimately I keep coming back to the same answer, that this is simply not working out on all fronts. And that's why I think that, you know what I really saying is maybe it would be better if you and I just broke up.
Fenton: You're breaking up with me?
Brendon: Well, I mean yeah, I mean...
Fenton: What, because of the lighting?
Brendon: No, no.
Fenton: The jealousy?
Brendon: What?
Fenton: You resent me, is that it?
Brendon: Listen, just calm down.
Fenton: You son of a bitch. You pig! You jealous pig!

[after Walter's and Perry's audition]
Jason: Ah, Brendon, Melissa, I made a decision and I want it respected. I want them in the part.
Walter & Perry: Yippee!
Walter: Perry, we did it!
Melissa: Jason!
Jason: What, they stunk but we have a deadline.
Walter & Perry: Hey.
Melissa: You know what, he's right Brendon.
Brendon: I know, I know, okay Walter, Perry.
Walter & Perry: Yes?
Brendon: You are hired. But I'm sorry, you're fired.
Perry: This is bull----.

Jason: Uh, we feel that the schedule is in jeopardy.
Brendon: I know, I know.
Melissa: And, we feel there is one person for the part.
Brendon: Right, I agree.
Melissa: And it's Fenton.
Brendon: I totally agree.
Jason: Uh, hold on. [whispering to Melissa] I thought it was Walter and Perry.
Melissa: No. You have to pay attention better Jason, Okay?
Jason: Uuuuuuuh, what?

Melissa: Okay good and action!
Jason: Wait. Let me get back in the shot.
Melissa: Sorry about that.
Jason: Okay and action!
Melissa: Wait. Cut, let me get rid of my gum. [throws her gum away] Action!
Fenton: Hey, I'm thirsty.
Melissa: Cut! Jason, could you get him something?
Fenton: Thank you. Jason.
Jason: No, Melissa you get him something.
Melissa: Jason, I asked you to get him something.
Jason: Well I'm telling you, you get...
Fenton: Someone get me a soda, please.
Jason: Right. Melissa go get him a soda.
Melissa: You get him a soda.
Jason: I'm not gonna.
Fenton: Please! Stop fighting and just get me a soda.
Melissa: You know, lets forget the soda and action!
Fenton: Oh, let's not forget the soda and get it!
Melissa: Get him soda.
Jason: You said action.
Fenton: Listen to my [making sounds with his tongue] drying mouth. [making sounds with his tongue]
Melissa: (sigh)

Melissa: Seriously, get him a soda, Jason.
Fenton: Please!
Jason: No, Melissa, I can't get him a soda if you already yelled action and we're rolling and I'm in the scene.
Fenton: I'm so thirsty.
Melissa: Okay cut, Jason, get him a soda, please.
Jason: Action. Melissa, you get him a soda.
Melissa: Cut. Jason, you get him a soda.
Jason: Action!
Melissa: Cut!
Fenton: I'm thirsty!
Melissa: Jason, get him a soda. Action!
Jason: Cut. [walks away] get your own soda, Fenton.

Paula: Look, I broke up with the guy. I broke up with him already. He didn't take...
Jason: Mrs. Small.
Paula: Yeah?
Jason: Have you considered killing him.
Melissa: Yeah.
Brendon: Yeah. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait, if you guys are here than who's directing Fenton?
Jason: Uh, Fenton is.
Melissa: Yeah, Brendon, I don't know if you ever noticed but he is kinda a pain in the ass.
Brendon: Interesting.
Jason: You should maybe consider firing Fenton or killing him.
Melissa: Yeah.

McQuirk: You know dogs do that, Brendon.
Brendon: Yeah?
McQuirk: Just a note.
Brendon: Break up with, what do you mean?
McQuirk: Like packs of dogs, one dog that is acting...
Brendon: Yeah?
McQuirk: ...not acting the way the pack is...
Brendon: Yeah? Uh-huh.
McQuirk: ...they kill it. And they eat it.
Brendon: Right. But like with humans, that doesn't happen, no?
McQuirk: Probably.

Brendon: Well let's kill Simon and eat him.
Jason: Let's just kill someone.
Brendon: Yeah.
Jason: Yeah, I mean how many times do I have to hint.
Brendon: Okay, well we're all in on this you know that?
Jason: Thank you, I mentioned it like seven times.

The Wizard's Baker [4.05][edit]

Brendon: Don't get into show business, Josie. Don't spend your life being dragged down by projects that you lose interest in and have to sneak away from.
Jason & Melissa: [searching for Brendon] Brendon!
Brendon: Where's my childhood gone, Josie?

Junior: One time we come so close to killing a bear, but the guy from the zoo was like, "Get out of here!", and we almost kill a mountain lion, and an alligator, we threw a penny on his head.

Jason: [to the investors] Again, I'm sorry about dropping your baby. It's a very heavy baby.

Jason: [to the investors] Oh, your baby is eating one of the action figures, that can't be good for him.

Eugene: We get trophy if we win race, at spaghetti dinner it is also award ceremony. Ha ha, I will be victorious over you.
Junior: There's something very diabolical and informative about Eugene.

Jason: Naturally, our director is extremely busy. I'm sure-
Melissa: [on a telephone] I don't think he's coming.
Jason: Scurrying around the city finding new locations.
Melissa: [on a telephone] He's not coming!
Jason: Melissa, please.
Melissa: [hangs up the telephone] Our stupid director isn't coming.
Jason: Melissa, you're blowing the deal.
Melissa: Why me? It's stupid Brendon.
Jason: All right, I agree, he's stupid! You know something, this is stupid! [knocks a calculator off the table]
Melissa: Jason, you're blowing the deal!
Jason: No, I'm not, it's Brendon, Melissa!
Melissa: You're the one who dropped the baby.
Jason: So, it's a fat baby! How was I suppose to hold it? You try picking it up, Melissa!
Melissa: I'm not picking up fat babies, Jason.
Jason: What's the matter, Melissa, chicken to pick up a fat baby?! There it is, pick him up!
Melissa: That's it, I'm leaving!
Jason: Good-bye! [Melissa leaves, to investors.] I am so sorry for what you just witnessed. But I'd like to talk to you two about back end points.

Paula: Why should I take your side?
Brendon: Because you love me.
Paula: I do love you, Brendon, but that won't hold up in court.

Coach McGuirk: It's Spaghetti Time!

Psycho-Delicate [4.06][edit]

Curses [4.07][edit]

Coach McGuirk- I've got to agree with your mom, Brendon. Cursing is a sign of ignorance. [to referee] Oh [censor beep], ref! Please! [to Brendon] There's no place for cursing in a civilized society.

Coach McGuirk: It's called creative use of words. It's like poetry. Robert Frost, stopping by the woods on a snowy [censor beep] evening. That kind of [censor beep].
Brendon: Yeah, that's good stuff.
Coach McGuirk: But it's my poetry. It's the everyday-man's poetry.
Brendon: Yeah, yeah.
Coach McGuirk: Alright, 'cause we can't find good metaphors like the woods... or the snow, or the horse or that kind of stuff. [to referee] Oh [censor beep]-ing [censor beep] me, ref!
Erik: Hey guys.
Coach McGuirk: Hey Erik. Want a [censor beep]-ing donut?

Honkey Magoo [4.08][edit]

Brendon Small - Nobody cares about him. Nobody cares whether he lives or dies. I'm all that [censor beep] piece of [censor beep]s got.
Paula Small- What?!
Brendon- Nothing...

(Referring to the dog)

Jason : He's been splattering poop like a monkey's racehorse.

(referring to Taunto)

Coach McGuirk: Next time that thing comes near me, I'm gonna eat it. I'm serious!

Those Bitches Tried To Cheat Me [4.09][edit]

Cho & The Adventures Of Amy Lee [4.10][edit]

Perry & Walter: Yea for Brendon!
Perry: Chase the butterfly!
Walter: Smash the butterfly!
Melissa: Brendon, is your grandfather really dying?
Brendon: We're all dying, Melissa.

Definite Possible Murder [4.11][edit]

Brendan:Did you just say "weeeow?"

Melissa: That's insane you don't have any poof.
Brendon: Poof?
Melissa: Proof!

Jason: Weeow!

Temporary Blindness [4.12][edit]

Doctor: Well what time is there?
McGuirk: What do you mean what time is it there??? What time zone are you in!!!
Doctor: Don't call this number again

(during his eye surgery)

McGuirk:- I smell burning eye.
McGuirk:- I hate ping-pong and too cool. I hate Mr Stingy too I'd like to kill the son of a bitch.

Focus Grill [4.13][edit]

Jason: So are there any questions or comments?
Junior: Well, that was not so great, but it was better than that fairy princess bull-shit.
Melissa: Hey!
Fenton: Um, that's not a twist, it's just stupid.
Jason: Save it for the comment card Fenton.
Fenton: I'm sorry, but it was bad.
Brendon: Fenton, we know you have opinions, but if you could keep them to yourself that would be great.
Fenton: Well, what's the point of having a screening if we don't keep our opinions to ourselves. You just don't want to hear criticism that it was bad.
Walter: I have an idea! What if in the end me and Perry...
Perry: Uh huh.
Walter: Walk up to the front of the camera...
Perry: I like it, I like it.
Walter: And dance like this.
[They dance like the peanuts]

Fenton: Don't touch me.
Junior: This guy needs to loosen up, and you know what I think Walter and Perry. MAKEOVER!
Walter: I hear that!
Perry: Me too.
Fenton: Don't touch my hair.
Junior: I've been looking at you this entire focus group Fenton, and I have to give you a facial scrub so bad.
Walter: And your hair needs some gel.
Perry: I want to pluck your eye-brows so bad.
Fenton: I don't even know what you guys are talking about you morons. Clean up your own backyards.
Walter and Perry: Clean up our own backyards?
Brendon: Get out of here!

Melissa: Alright we get the point.
Fenton: No I don't think you do.
Junior: Horrible.
Fenton: Terrible.
Junior: Boo.
Brendon: What the hell do you guys know about anything?
Walter: Don't get mad at us, Brendon. We're your audience.
Perry: Yeah, you need us.


External links[edit]

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