Land of the Lost (1991)

Land of the Lost is a 1991 TV series. It is a remake of the 1974 TV series Land of the Lost. The show stars Timothy Bottoms as Tom Porter, Robert Gavin as Kevin Porter, and Jenny Drugan as Annie Porter.

Season 1

Tasha [1.1]

[Kevin is working on the truck. Tasha comes out and stands near the truck. Kevin tries to pull something and hits his head on the hood. Electricity runs through wires Tasha is standing on. Tasha is shocked and cries out. Annie runs up]

Annie Porter: [Holding a crying Tasha] Kevin, what did you do to her?!

Kevin Porter: [Looks up] Her?! How 'bout my own cabeza ["head" in Spanish]?! [Electric spark comes out of engine of car and shocks Kevin's hand]

Annie Porter: Some daddy you are.

Kevin Porter: I'm not her dumb daddy! [To Tasha] Understand, Tasha?!

Something's Watching [1.2]

Kevin Porter: [After Christa says the place they need to get to is too far away] No problem! We got wheels.

Christa: [Somewhat confused] Wheels...

Kevin Porter: Yeah, a truck? [Imitates driving] Vroom vroom?

Stink: [Amused] Ha, vroom vroom. [Laughs]

Power Play [1.13]

Kevin: Stink, I'll bet you a million dollars you can't make me laugh.

Stink: Okay. Okay, million dollars. [Laughs] What million dollars?

Kevin: Never mind. [Eyes a bowl of bananas] A million bananas!

---

Tom Porter: [seeing that Shung has been badly hurt by Scarface] Shung, I've got medicine in my pack. I can treat your wounds.

Shung: Do not insult me with your pathetic human tricks!

Tom Porter: You're the pathetic one, Shung. You're biggest enemy is your own ignorance. You know nothing about me and my people.

Shung: Shut your mouth, human! There is only one ruler in this land, and it will never be you!

Tom Porter: I don't care about being a ruler! There's plenty of room in this land for both of us to live peacefully!

---

Shung: [Hearing Scarface roar] Quiet, you brainless beast!

---

[Stink comes in the window with a sack]

Kevin Porter: [Shuffling a deck of cards] Just the time to play a little friendly game, Stinkmiester.

Stink: [confused] Game?

Kevin Porter: Yeah, you can make it easy.

Annie Porter: Yeah. We can play fish.

Kevin Porter: Fish?

Stink: Fish? [Annie nods] Fish! [Laughs and pours many fish out of sack onto table] Fish! Stink win! Fish! [Picks up a fish and holds it out in turn to Annie and Kevin, both disgusted.]

---

Kevin Porter: Dad, you've got him trapped in there!

Tom Porter: He's blind, probably only temporary, he took a good one to the head from Scarface.

Kevin Porter: Hey, let's seal him up so he'll never come out!

Stink: Never come out!

Kevin Porter: [Trying to move a rock] Come on, Dad, give us a hand!

Tom Porter: No, Kev.

Kevin Porter: [shocked] What?

Tom Porter: I know how you feel. I have no love for Shung, either. But if we do that we're no better than he is.

Kevin Porter: I can't believe this! My own dad whimping out?

Stink: Yeah, whimp out!

Tom Porter: You're wrong, Kev. I know Shung acts like an animal, it'd be easy for us to do the same, we'd be just like him. But without our humanity, what's left? We'd really be back in the stone age. As much as I hate him, leave him a way out. It may take him a while to make the hole wide enough but at least its some air.

Kevin Porter: You're right, Dad.

---

Kevin Porter: [After Tom comes back from an attack by a Triceratops] Oh, Dad, I thought that tiger had you for dinner.

Tom Porter: [Similar to a line from the first episode] Almost did. [Pulls out flashlight] I had to use the ol' flashlight trick. [Imitates throwing it at the Triceratops]

---

Tom Porter: [having used the crystals to replace batteries] The power is back on! Look! Lights! Music! We're outta the Stone Age!

Kevin Porter: That's great Dad.

[chases Annie and Tasha outside in a game of tag]

Tom Porter: That's it? After all I went through today? [leans his hand against his chin and looks sad]

Kevin Porter: [Kneels down behind him] Dad... [Pause] You're it! [Tags him and runs out]

Tom Porter: [Puts down the flashlight] You're history, Kevin! [Chases Kevin out]

Dreammaker [1.15]

Kevin Porter: [Referring to Turbo Twins, a TV show that mysteriously appeared on his TV] I love this show.

Annie Porter: You mean you love the girls, Kevin. It's the nerdiest TV show.

Stink: Ha, ha, ha! Nerdy hoo-ha! [Laughs cheerfully]