Lola Shoneyin
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Lola Shoneyin (born Titilola Atinuke Alexandrah Shoneyin; 26 February 1974) is a Nigerian poet and author who launched her debut novel, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives, in the UK in May 2010. Shoneyin has forged a reputation as an adventurous, humorous and outspoken poet, having published three volumes of poetry. Shoneyin has forged a reputation as an adventurous, humorous and outspoken poet (often classed in the feminist mould), having published three volumes of poetry. Her writing delves into themes related to female sexuality and the difficulties of domestic life in Africa. In April 2014 she was named on the Hay Festival's Africa39 list of 39 Sub-Saharan African writers aged under 40 with potential and talent to define trends in African literature. Lola won the PEN Award in America as well as the Ken Saro-Wiwa Award for prose in Nigeria. She was also on the list for the Orange Prize in the UK for her debut novel, The Secret of Baba Segi's Wives, in 2010. She lives in Lagos, Nigeria, where she runs the annual Aké Arts and Book Festival. In 2017, she was named African Literary Person of the Year by Brittle Paper
Quotes
[edit]- Once you crash the idea of normal in your mind, all impossibilities become possible.
- [1] Lola Shoneyin speaks on Possibility.
- Men are nothing. They are fools. The penis between their legs is all they are useful for. And even then, if not that women needed their seed for children, it would be better to sit on a finger of green plantain. Listen to my words. Only a foolish woman leans heavily on a man’s promises.
- [2] Lola Shoneyin, speaking about men in her book, The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives.
- The choices we have to make in this world are hard and bitter. Sometimes we have no choices at all.
- I like doing things that put Africa and Africans on the map. My job and the stuff that I do allows me to come in contact with so many talented, incredibly hardworking people. Young but doing incredible stuff. I want the world to see them. And when I say the world, the truth is, in fact, more than anything, I’m talking about Africa, as in the African world.
- A real woman must always do the things she wants to do, and in her own time too. You must never allow yourself to be rushed into doing things you're not ready for.
- [3] Lola Shoneyin writing about women and the power to do what they want in The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives.
- The sad truth is, polygamy constitutes a national embarrassment in any country that fantasises about progress and development. Polygamy devalues women and the only person who revels in it is the husband who gets to enjoy variety. You, poor women, will become nothing more than a dish at the buffet.
- "Polygamy? No thanks" Lola Shoneyin speaks on the devaluing nature that polygamy has on women in society.
- Now, in my working life as a teacher and writer, and as a mother of four children, I watch with horror when women of my generation opt to be second or third wives. And I have been shocked by the ease with which men in their mid-30s marry additional wives.
- [4] - Lola speaks on how women want to be the second or third wives.
- Husband-sharing is ugly and, one way or another, someone's dreams are crushed when a new wife joins a household.
- [5] Lola commenting on how the old wife is almost ignored when a new wife is married to the house.
- The world has no patience for spinsters. It spits them out.
- [6] Lola Shoneyin talks about how society pushes people to get married.
- When a plan does not go right, you plot again. One day you will succeed. One day you will be able to damage the person who hurts you so completely that they will never be able to recover.
- Anyone who laughs at you for showing your family respect is a fool.
- [7] Lola Shoneyin talks about loyalty to family, in The Secret Lives of Baba Segi.
- “Only a foolish woman leans heavily on a man's promises”[8]
- “My daughters were born with eyes in their stomachs so they are quick to digest all that they see.”[9]
- “Even listening in on their plans for me did not take the tomato seller off my mind. After searching for days, I traced her to the farmland on the edge of our village. When I saw her, courage failed me. My liver weakened and I could not bring myself to talk to her. I abandoned my fufu and stalked her, overjoyed to be breathing the air she was breathing. I saw every man she teased. A gasp escaped my lips every time she rolled her hips and jiggled the beads that adorned her waist. Sweat was dripping from my neck like rain from the awning. I can’t explain why but I wanted her for myself. I wanted to build a house for her and keep the key between my breasts. I wanted to dress her in the finest aso oke so she could parade herself for my delight alone. I wanted to lock her between my thighs.”[10]
- “Men are so simple. They will believe anything.”[11]
- “How could I tell her that I had failed to preserve my dignity? I was too ashamed to let her see the fickle shell I’d become. Inevitably, it became unbearable. The more she pushed, the more I resisted. I didn’t want a job! I didn’t want a white wedding! I just wanted the war between who I used to be and who I’d become to end. I didn’t want to fight anymore.”[12]
- “If you drag her by the hair, she’ll follow you anywhere, I swear it!”[13]
- “Don’t think I can’t see the challenges ahead of me. People will say I am a secondhand woman. Men will hurt and ridicule me but I won’t let them hold me back. I will remain in the land of the living. I am back now and the world is spread before me like an egg cracked open.”[14]
- My fingers liked the feel of money. My eye liked to see the piles of money swell. I worshipped money.
- Even when the boys teased me over flap of flesh that circled my neck, I wasn't bothered. I looked at them and sniggered, knowing their father's fathers could not have a fraction of the wealth i have accummulated.
- Let us not allow the world to see our shame, let us keep our secrets from those who may seek to mock us
- Taju claimed that he’d beaten his wife senseless for letting his only son suck on a coin. This happened about a week after a male senator slapped a female colleague. The slap had resonated through all the quiet meeting rooms of the senate building and into the heart of every man on the street…men were slapping their womenfolk as if it had become a national sport…peeved taxi drivers prodded the heads of mothers who bargained with them; young girls were assaulted and stripped naked in the streets. Even in the labour wards baby girls frowned upon by their fathers. Taju too was inspired to throw his best punch
- Baba Segi only comes to deposit his seed in my womb. He doesn’t smile or tickle me. He doesn’t make jokes about my youth; he just rams me into the mattress…
- Your father left me for a beautiful woman. I told him I was pregnant but he didn’t want to hear it. He sliced me like okra and left.
- The world has no patience for spinsters. It spits them out
- When a plan does not go right, you plot again. One day you will succeed. One day you will be able to damage the person who hurts you so completely that they will never be able to recover.
