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Robots (2005 film)

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This page is for the film Robots.  For other uses, see robots.

Robots is a 2005 American computer-animated comedy film produced by Blue Sky Studios for 20th Century Fox, and based on the children's book by William Joyce, which revolves around a nonconformist robot who dreams of being an inventor.

Directed by Chris Wedge. Written by David Lindsay-Abaire, Lowell Ganz, and Babaloo Mandel.

Dialogue

[edit]
[first lines]
Children: Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing...
Baker: There you go.
Child: Thanks.
Herb: Wa-hoo! I'm gonna be a dad! I just talked to my wife. My baby's gonna be delivered any minute.
Robot on truck: Hey! Get out of the way!
Herb: Hey, hey! I'm going to be a dad! Congratulate me.
Robot #1: Huh?
Robot #2: Hmm?
Fire Hydrant: Good for you, Herb. Don't even think about it.
[Herb has just been running through the town]
Herb: Whoo-hoo!
Beer Delivery Robot: Hey!
Herb: Sorry. How are you? Nice to see you. I'm gonna be a dad!
Beer Delivery Robot: Congrats!
Herb: Hey, Mr. Nuts, did you hear the news?
Mr. Nuts: Yeah.
Herb: Beautiful day, isn't it?
[Herb runs into his house, where Lydia is standing next to a window]
Herb: I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
Lydia: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.
Herb: Oh!
Lydia: [holds up a box with a picture of a robot on it] But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.
Herb: He's got your moms eyes and my dads nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts.
[After Herb and Lydia assembled baby Rodney]
Lydia: Honey?
Herb: What?
Lydia: What's that extra piece?
Herb: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra... [takes a good look at the piece; chuckles] We did want a boy, right? [takes the piece and a hammer; clears throat] This won't hurt a bit, son. [hammers the piece in, and baby Rodney wails]
Mr. Gunk: [about Wonderbot] I'll stop it!
Rodney: No!
Lydia: I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.
Herb: What instinct? He left us a note, "I'm leaving, I'll be at the train station."
Fender: [takes a picture of Rodney] Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.
Rodney: 50 bucks?! For what?
Fender: A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City. [takes another picture] There, I've captured your second moment. That's another 50 dollars. [to Diesel] Are you keeping track? [Diesel makes a cash register ring sound] [keeps on taking photos] Come on, work with me, work with me! More pout, less pose! There's a great inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up. Give me those eyes! Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes! Yeah, I'm lovin' it! Lovin' it! Lovin' it!
Rodney: I don't want any pictures!
Fender: You don't?
Rodney: No!
Fender: That's alright. There's no film in the camera. Would you like to buy a map of the stars' homes? [realizes he's gone] Where'd he go?
Watch salesman: Psst, buddy, wanna buy a watch?
Watches: Don't buy us. We're fakes.
Fender: I tell ya, the things that fall off of me... it's embarrassing!
[Rodney has just arrived at Bigweld Industries; he stares at the front gate in awe]
Tim: Yoo-hoo! Excuse me! Can I help you?
Rodney: Sorry, I... hey! You're Tim from the TV show!
Tim: That's me!
Rodney: Well, hey, Tim. Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be -
Tim: Yeah, okay. What do you want?
Rodney: Hm? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor. [he quickly shows Wonderbot to Tim]
Tim: Well, why didn't you say so? Stand back.
[Tim opens the gate; Rodney stares in amazement at what he sees]
Rodney: Thanks. [he starts to go in, but the door suddenly closes] WHAT?!
Tim: [laughing] I gotcha! Y'see, because you were all excited, and then BOOM! [laughs again; Rodney glares] Alright, I had my laugh. Go on in.
Rodney: [resuming his entry before the door closes again] Whoa... hey!
Tim: [laughing hysterically] Now, that's funny! A second time! What?! You really think I'm gonna let you in! [laughs] Well, I'm not! Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.
Rodney: Company ru...? Well, then how do they hire new inventors?
Tim: They don't. Those days are over. My advice... hmm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours. [laughs hysterically]
[cut to Bigweld Industries, as the camera zooms in on the building]
Rodney: [off-screen] I'll get to the bottom of this.
[The Bigweld Industries executives are gathered in the meeting room, watching a clip of The Bigweld Show]
Bigweld: [video] So, remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of. [the clip stops]
Ratchet: Oh, my goodness. What a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot. You just don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore, my friends. And for a good reason... THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT! Hello! Memo to Bigweld: we're not a charity! That's why old Fat-face no longer sits in the big chair. He's a relic! So I don't want to hear another [in a whiny voice] "Where's Bigweld?" [imitates a baby whining, then back to normal] again!
Chairman: We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball! He always goes to that. [Ratchet pushes a button which makes the chairman fall into a pit]
Ratchet: Now, let's get down to the business of sucking every loose penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead. [closes the room's blinds and starts a presentation] What's our big ticket item? Upgrades, people, upgrades. That's how we make the dough. Now, if we're telling robots that no matter what they're made of, they're "fine", how can we expect them to feel crummy enough about themselves to buy our upgrades and make themselves look better? Therefore, I have come up with a new slogan: "Why be you when you can be new?" [turns off the screen and opens the blinds] I gotta tell you, I think it's brilliant, but honestly, I'd like to hear what you employees think about this.
[after a moment of silence, the boardroom erupts in applause]
Employee: Out of the ballpark, Ratchet.
Madame Gasket: All right, break time [Worker's look up surprised] All right, break time's over. Chop, chop! [cackles as the workers groan in disappointment] Ah, look who's here.
Ratchet: Hi, Mom.
Madame Gasket: Hi, sweetie! How's my boy?
Ratchet: Great. I did just what you told me: no more spare parts. In a couple of days, those broken-down bots out there are gonna be nothing but scrap metal. You will be up to your bloomers in broken outmode junk!
Madame Gasket: Such a good boy! And after you finish off Bigweld, there will be nobody out there to fix them.
Ratchet: Exactly... uh, you wanna swing that by me again?
Madame Gasket: YOU IDIOT!! Those outmodes look up to him! Suppose he decides to come back!
Ratchet: Aw, come on, Mom! He's not gonna be any trouble where he is!
Madame Gasket: What are you afraid of?! Grow some bolts! Or do you wanna end up like your father? [shows Ratchet his father as nothing but an endoskeleton]
Ratchet's Dad: Hey, son. Good to see ya.
Madame Gasket: Think what it would mean. Not Bigweld Industries, Ratchet Industries.
Ratchet: Keep talking.
Madame Gasket: RATCHET CITY!!!
Ratchet: Yes, everything shiny... [laughs evilly]
Madame Gasket: No more Bigweld, no more outmodes!
Ratchet: LET'S DO IT!!!
Madame Gasket: THAT'S MY BOY!!!
[the two dance and laugh maniacally]
Madame Gasket: Are you hungry? Can I get you something? You look thin.
Ratchet: No, thanks, Mom. I gotta go. Bye. Oh, bye, Pop.
Ratchet's Dad: So long, son. Good luck with your dastardly plans.
[After a skating fight on ballbearings, Fender hits the floor and his head comes off of his body]
Fender: Oh, great. Happy now?
Rodney: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger! [takes his foot back from Fender]
Fender: I am not a mugger! I happen to be... [his head falls over] Ow! ...a scrounger. I didn't know you were at the end of that foot.
Rodney: Oh, here. Let me help you with that.
Fender: No, no, no. I'll do it myself. I have my pride, you know. [whistles to his body] Over here. [his body comes over to pick his head up] Oh, no. No. No, no, not that close... [his body accidentally kicks his head away from it] Hold on, hold on! [the body kicks it away again] No, no, no!
Crank: Ugh. What's the use? There's nothing left.
Lugnut: Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. [Diesel puts the voice box in his mouth; starts imitating a Spanish sport announcer until the chip falls out of him] Uh... here's another one. [Diesel starts barking like a dog]
Crank: That's no good. Give me that! [He attempts to take it out of Diesel, but Diesel just growls at him]
Lugnut: [sighs] I can never find parts in my size. [Fender's head suddenly flies into the basket; Diesel barks] What is it, boy? [finds Fender's head] Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?
Crank: "Lost weight"?! Look at - will you look at - he's a head, in a basket! We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed.
Fender: Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd... I'd smack you if I had a hand. [his body conveniently comes bouncing off the walls] Well, speaking of the devil, here I come. [his body lands] OW! Dang it!
Piper: [emerging from a nearby recycling bin with a discarded Wonderbot] Whoa, check this out! Who would throw away such a cute little doodad? [Wonderbot whimpers] Aw, don't be scared...
Rodney: [off-screen] Hey, that's mine!
Fender: That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot! [he realizes his hand is pointing to his own body instead of Rodney's] Psst! He's over there, you moron. [his hand points to Rodney's body] That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!
Piper: Alright, buster! If you think you can mess with my big brother, you're... [is distracted by Rodney's appearance] you're kind of cute.
Crank: Piper, would you behave yourself? Now, come on. Let's get Fender fixed... again.
Piper: [handing Wonderbot back to Rodney] Here's your... thingamabob. By the way... the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper". [hisses flirtatiously] See you around. [she suddenly trips over, but gets up and adjusts herself]
Fender: We've told you a hundred times, [with his hand] don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.
Piper: I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?
Jack Hammer: I've got good news, and I've got bad news.
Fender: What's the bad news?
Jack Hammer: I checked the stock book. As of today, they're no longer making parts for your model. You have been officially outmoded.
Fender: Outmoded? Well, that's fine... WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?!?
Jack Hammer: Well, when we had your parts... They were on sale! [laughs]
Fender: [breaks down into tears] Oh, how can this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!
Jack Hammer: Geez. Look, pull yourself together. All you need is an upgrade. [reveals an upgrade display]
[the Rusties stare in admiration]
Lugnut: Mmm, that new upgrade smell.
Jack Hammer: Just came in, fully loaded. Look, it's got cupholders. Standard.
Lugnut: Does it come in plus sizes?
Jack Hammer: Sure! Take a look at the new Bigweld spring collection! [points to a whole aisle of upgrades; the Rusties stand in awe]
Fender: I can't afford that fancy stuff. All I need is one stinkin' neck joint! [his body bangs his head against the counter] Why... did... this... happen... to... me?! Ow! Ow! Aah! Aah! I'm hurting me! Idiot!
Jack Hammer: Sorry, pal. It's either upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.
Fender: The Chop Shop?! AAAAAHHHH!!! I'm fine, I'm fine. [his body places his head back on it] Look, no hands. Oops. [the head falls off; the body puts it back on] And ta-da! I'm back. Miss me?
Piper: No one's going to the Chop Shop!
Crank: That's right! What do you think we can get for him? Not that I've been thinking about it.
Piper: Will you stop?! Listen, shiny pants, you get back there and find a part for my brother! We are not junk! We are not scrap! And we will not be treated this way!
Jack Hammer: I'm sorry. I don't have the parts.
Rodney: Well, do you have two washers, and S-spring and some fast-weld? I can fix you easy.
[Diesel picks up three voice boxes, a Mufasa voice box; a Sally voice box; and a Dr. Finkelstein voice box, and then puts all of them into his mouth]
Diesel: [imitating Mufasa's voice, as he roars like a lion, then to Rodney, who is off camera] You are my son, and the one true king. [imitating Sally's voice, as he grabs his left arm] Gawk! [imitating Dr. Finkelstein's voice] The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally! [imitating Sally's voice] Let go! [imitating Dr. Finkelstein's voice] You're not ready for so much excitement! [imitating Sally's voice] Yes, I am! [imitating Dr. Finkelstein's voice] You're coming with ME! [imitating Sally's voice] NO, I'M NOT! [imitating Dr. Finkelstein's voice when he "unstitches" his right arm and falls down to the ground] COME BACK HERE, YOU FOOLISH... OAF! [hits himself in the head several times] OW! OW! OW! [gets up and runs towards the camera, and then screams and breaks the fourth wall] OOOH! *GONE AGAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN*!!!!!!!!!! [imitating Mufasa's voice, as he roars like a lion out of anger, then to his Dr. Finkelstein voice] SILENCE!!!
Rodney: When was the last time you got oiled?
Fender: I really can't say that with my kid sister around here.
Piper: Can it, Fender!
Rodney: Now, hold still. This might tickle.
Fender: We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Fender. It used to be Bumper, but I had to change it when we came into the country.
Rodney: Copperbottom. Rodney Copperbottom.
Fender: [with a British accent] Riddle me this - why did I meet you among the garbage?
Rodney: Well, today, I tried to get in to see Bigweld.
[the Rusties all chuckle]
Piper: Well, if you find him, tell him we really need him to come back. He cared about bots like us.
Crank: Well, what I heard is that they done him in, and they left the rest of us to fall apart.
[Rodney and the Rusties make their way to Aunt Fanny's boarding house]
Fender: When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties, that's us, stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rusting outside!" [chuckles, as they walk inside] Let me just let her know you're here. [yelling loudly] AUNT FANNY! [normally] We brought someone.
Aunt Fanny: [offscreen] I'm in the kitchen.
Rodney: Are you sure your aunt won't mind?
Fender: Relax, she's not my aunt. She just takes in bots who are, um… broke. [laughs] Bless her little heart.
Rodney: [enters the kitchen] Well then, why is she called Aunt Fanny? [sees Aunt Fanny, who has a really large rear end]
Fender: We couldn't call her Aunt Booty.
Rodney: [surprised in shock] WHOA!
Aunt Fanny: [accidentally hits things with her rear end] Oops! Aw! Oh, scrap!
Piper: She's a little artsy-fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...
Aunt Fanny: Oh, right on my shoes. I'm so clumsy. [notices Rodney] Well, hello there! What's your name?
Rodney: [distracted] I'm Rodney Bigbottom. [realizes] No, I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.
Aunt Fanny: That's a wonderful name! Bigbottom. [accidentally backs up her rear end on Rodney, smashing him against the wall] What happened to your friend?
Fender: He's been rear-ended.
Aunt Fanny: [slides her bottom, releasing Rodney] There ya are! [giggles]
Fender: [with a southern accent] Aunt Fanny, he needs a place to stay.
Aunt Fanny: Well, just make yourself at home.
Rodney: Thank you. That's very kind of you.
Aunt Fanny: My pleasure! See a need, fill a need.
Rodney: Hey, just like Bigweld!
Aunt Fanny: Oh, Bigweld. That's a lot of robot! [accidentally smacks Rodney and Fender into a couch]
Fender: Come on. You can bunk with me. We'll ignore the gossip.
[Fender pulls a lever, shifting the rooms; the first room is Piper's, where she's applying makeup on her face while listening to "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life" by Stacie Orrico]
Fender: You missed a spot.
Piper: [screams] Fender, get out of my room!
Fender: I'm not in your room. [puts his foot in Piper's room] I am now. [pulls it back out] Now, I'm not. [continues putting his foot in and out of Piper's room] I Am. Not. Am. Not...
Piper: [sternly] Get out of my room!
[Fender pulls the lever, revealing the bathroom where Crank is draining oil]
Crank: Oh, man, this is my third oil change today. Something's wrong with me.
Fender: Oops. Sorry. [pulls; shifting to his bedroom] Here we are. Home sweet home. What's mine is yours. [his arms fall off] Oh, boy.
Rodney: Here, I'll get them.
Fender: Oh, look, now they're arm-wrestling. [his arms start wrestling with each other] Would you separate them please? Hurry! My backside itches.
Rodney: Hey, Fender.
Fender: Hm? [Rodney does armpit noises] YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!
[Rodney and Fender are doing armpit noises]
Crank: Hey, guys, come on. What are you, three years old? This is how a man does it.
[Crank does armpit noises]
Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, THIS is how you do it.
[Piper does armpit noises]
Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this!
[does a MASSIVE fart; everyone is grossed out]
Rodney: Open the window!
Piper: Aunt Fanny!
[Aunt Fanny finishes farting and sighs with relief]
Piper: WE were using our arms!
[a Lamppost outside wakes up and sniffs the air]
Aunt Fanny: Oh...
Piper: Eeeeewwwww!
Aunt Fanny: Excuse me.
Crank: Ugh, light a match!
Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor... [the lamppost passes out]
[an angry mob of outmodes gathers at the front of Jack Hammer’s store]
Jack Hammer: Sorry, folks! All sold out! Nothing but upgrades from here on in!
Female Robot: [angry] But I like myself just the way I am! [her light bulb nose breaks] Oh!
Male Robot #1: We can't afford upgrades!
Male Voice: This is unfair!
Male Robot #2: [shouting] Let's get him! [attempts to throw a trashcan, but it is actually a robot]
Trashcan Bot: Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what are you doing? Don't throw me! [Rodney and the Rusties join in the commotion] Hey, isn’t that the guy who fixed Fender’s neck?
Male Robot #3: Yeah, that guy fixes bots!
Jack Hammer: Yeah, that kid can help you!
Fender: [to Rodney] Brace yourself, you’re about to get very popular.
Toilet Bot: Thanks, Rodney. You're number one!
[Ratchet is getting his back massaged]
Ratchet: Oh... Oh, yeah... I've never felt so relaxed. Say, do you mind giving me a little scratch between the shoulder blades? [a blade runs along his back] Oh, there ya-- AH! Easy, tiger. Oh! Hey, take it easy! Hey, what are you trying to do, kill--?! [gets up and sees Madame Gasket] AAAAHHH!!
Madame Gasket: Relax. It's me, your mommy.
Ratchet: How did you get in here?!
Madame Gasket: I came up the airshaft. I know you don't like anybody here to see me.
Ratchet: Well, what do you want?
Madame Gasket: Someone's fixing them!
Ratchet: What?
Madame Gasket: Someone is repairing outmodes! And they are laughing at you!
Ratchet: Who?! And are you sure they're not laughing with me?
Madame Gasket: Yes.
Ratchet: Oh, so what if one crazy fanatic repairs a few outmodes? Who cares?
Madame Gasket: Think. Use those brains I stole for you. Today, it's one. What about tomorrow when everyone gets the idea this is okay? "We can fix ourselves. We don't need upgrades. We want Bigweld." Then what happens to you?!
Ratchet: Okay, okay. Take it easy. We've got to find out who this is and stop him.
Madame Gasket: Not stop him, crush him! Destroy him! And by the way, I brought you a little something for your desk. [gives Ratchet a picture of her making a cute face in a heart-shaped frame titled "World's Best Mom"]
[Rodney and Fender arrive at the Bigweld Ball disguised as rich robots]
Tim: Uh, can I help you?
Fender: [Spanish accent] I think you maybe-a can. [gestures to Rodney] This is-a Count Roderic Von Brokenzipper! Formally Count Velcro.
Tim: Uh, the...
Fender: Where are the trumpets?!
Tim: The, the, uh...
Fender: We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival! [to Rodney] I'm sorry, Your Grace. Beat me until you're happy. [Rodney slaps Fender across the face] He's happy. And I'm not feeling to bad myself.
Tim: Ahem. Let me see, uh... You're not on the list.
Fender: We're what?! Once again. [Rodney slaps Fender again] Ow! Thank you. [to Tim] Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why were not able to attend your little luau, your barn dance, whatever it is! But we're leaving! In a huff! [he and Rodney prepare to leave]
Tim: No, no! No, no. Please, go right in. In fact, would the Count like to hit me?
Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I will hit you on his behalf. [smacks Tim off his booth]
Tim: Thank you, Your Grace.
Ratchet: We now come to the point of the evening where I have the tremendous honor of introducing our beloved founder, Mr. Bigweld... who unfortunately is unable to attend.
Rodney: What?!
Ratchet: He sends his apologies, his love... in a small box of assorted cookies.
Rodney: Not coming?!
Ratchet: And what are you doing here?
Rodney: [enraged] What have you done with Bigweld?! [the crowd gasps] How come we don't see him anymore, huh?!
Ratchet: Okay. [over his radio] Security, we have a party crasher.
Rodney: Yeah, that's right! [angrily begins to take off his disguise] And I had to put all this junk on in order to get in here, so that I could tell Bigweld that you are outmoding millions of bots! And I know, 'cause I spent all day fixin' em! [furiously slams his metal jacket on the floor, revealing himself]
Ratchet: [realizing] You!
[Ratchet's security guards grab Rodney]
Rodney: Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
[Fender is busy dancing with Loretta until he hears Rodney's signal]
Fender: My darling, that is the cry of the deep doo-doo bird! I must fly! [dashes away]
Ratchet: Take him for a drive and bring me back his exact weight in paper clips!
Cappy: No!
Ratchet: "No?!"
Cappy: I'll escort him out. [whispers] You don't want to look bad in front of your people, do you?
Ratchet: Hmm, good point.
Cappy: And when I get back, I'll show my casual, fun-loving side.
Ratchet: [chuckles] Oh, you...
Fender: [singing] I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner! [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm alive! [singing voice] Help!
[Rodney is ringing the doorbell to Bigweld's penthouse]
Cappy: Okay, we tried. Let's get outta here.
Rodney: No, no, no, something's up. Look at all these newspapers and this mail.
Cappy: Oh, come on. They probably stopped delivering these years ago.
Postman: [off-screen] Paper! [Cappy gets hit with a paper. Wonderbot laughs it off then gets hit as well] Late edition.
Rodney: You said something?
Cappy: [shows Rodney a newspaper with his face plastered on it. The headline says 'BAD BOT BUSTS BALL'.] Nice one of you.
Rodney: [as the dominoes are falling in Bigweld's workshop] This is much more elaborate than the ones on his show.
Bigweld: [to Rodney] Son, let me give you a good piece of advice.
Rodney: Yes?
Bigweld: Give up.
Rodney: [shocked] What? You're telling me to quit?
Bigweld: I said "give up", but "quit" works just as good.
Rodney: Is that what you did? Is that why you're sitting here, letting Ratchet turn robots like my father into outmodes?
Bigweld: Kid, sometimes you just gotta know when you're licked.
Rodney: But you're Bigweld. You can fix anything!
Bigweld: Hmm. I used to think so. To me, having the company was all about making life better. With Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned. An outmode. Go home, kid! If he beat me, he's gonna beat you!
Rodney: But...
Bigweld: [angrily] The world you're looking for no longer exists! You missed it! Find some other foolish dream! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very, very... very, uh, busy.
Rodney: Yeah, I can see that. [to Cappy] All I ever wanted was to grow up to be like him.
Rodney: I met Mr. Bigweld, but he's not like himself.
Bigweld: [bursting through the head office door] RATCHET! [Ratchet screams in a high pitch] I'll come right directly to the point!
Ratchet: What happened? Run out of dominoes? I'll send you some more!
Bigweld: You're fired!
Ratchet: Fired? On what grounds? This company's never been more profitable!
Bigweld: Profits, schmofits! Now, get out!
Ratchet: No, wait! Please listen to me! You can't do this to me! This job is my LIFE! It means everything to me! You don't know what I've done to get here! The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! [realizes] This isn't helping me.
Bigweld: [off-screen] I'll call the security!
[cut to Bigweld calling the operator on his intercom mic]
Bigweld: [into an intercom mic as if it were a telephone] Hello! Give me the security!
Ratchet: No, wait! Please! Can't I just make one more heartfelt plea?
Bigweld: Okay, what do you wanna say?
Ratchet: [Pounds Bigweld on the head with the intercom mic, knocking him out] THAT! Oh, my gosh, I'm as crazy as my mother!
[Bigweld groans, but Ratchet hits him again]
Rodney: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball!
Rodney: I'll take that as a "no"!
Bigweld: [sings in a deep distorted voice while being repaired by Rodney, a la HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey] Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer-
Rodney: Okay, got it!
Bigweld: Rodney! What's going on? Where are we?
Rodney: It's okay, you're alright!
[Bigweld has been taken hostage by Madame Gasket and is a few steps away from being incinerated]
Bigweld: Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.
Madame Gasket: [flattered, in a sing-song voice and fluttering her eyelashes] I try.
Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?
Fender: We, sir...
Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.
Crank: Ouch.
Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bucket of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!
Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...
[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]
Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?
Crank: Did you count that one?
Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around?! It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!
Madame Gasket: While you're at it, count these!
[Ratchet's new outmode bot destroying machines come into view with Ratchet sitting on top of one of them]
Madame Gasket: As soon as we're done with you, these hit the streets!
Ratchet: This will be the last day any outmode will ever see!
[Piper has just showed up unexpectedly to help the others fight Madame Gasket and her minions]
Piper: Did I miss the butt whupping?
Everyone: Uh... no.
Crank: As a matter of fact, you're a little bit early.
Tin Man: Now I know I've got a heart, because it's aching.
[suddenly, way up high in the sky, the ghost of the Mufasa voice box appears before the crowd, as the Tin Man looks up, and then sees it in amazement]
Mufasa voice box: [to the Tin Man] Remember who you are. Remember.
[Herb is doing a poor job of playing the instrument Rodney gave him]
Crank: Well, there goes our happy ending.
Fender: No, it’s a fusion of jazz and funk. It’s called junk.
Tim: I'm on the list! Don't you know who I am?!

Ending: Shine by Ricky Fanté

[edit]
Ricky Fanté: When the world counts you out / When you're lost and you doubt / That you're good enough. / When you out on your own and you're feeling all alone / Just keep hanging on. / Cause it don't matter what you're made of / Believe in yourself / And keep your head up, yeah! / Don't you know that you can / Shine / Shine / Shine / And together we will / Shine / Shine / Shine / Be strong and you will shine shine shine / Shine onnnnn / Shine on! / Sometimes life isn't fair / Seems like nobody cares about you anymore / Well as hard as it seems nothing is out of reach / All is possible / Cause it don't matter what you're made of / Believe in yourself and keep your head up / Shine like a star cuz that's the way you are baby / Shine like a star cuz that's the way you really are baby / Cause it don't matter what's you're made of / Believe in yourself and keep your head up! / Cause it don't matter where you came from / You can do anything / Just try, try, try / Don't you know...... / Chorus!

Taglines

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  • You can shine no matter what you're made of.
  • The biggest comedy ever assembled!
  • Repair for adventure!

Cast

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Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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