Thank God You're Here (British TV series)
(Redirected from Thank God You're Here (UK TV series))
Thank God You're Here is an improvisation show, originally an Australian show, where each week, 4 comedians/tv personalities have to bluff their way through a scene
Season 1
[edit]Episode 1
[edit]- Woman: May I Present our special guest, one of the most celebrated mediums in the country, Madame...
- Fern Britton: Oh, er.. yes. Madame... Gordon
- Woman: Madame Gordon. Also known as Madame Olga
- Fern Britton: Yes. Olga Gordon
- Fern Britton: Don't be scared. When she says I'm a world famous Medium, I'm more of a sort of Medium-Rare
- Woman: How long have you been a medium?
- Fern Britton: I've been a medium... for about two months
- Woman: Now I know, Madame Olga, you will have your own special incantation
- Fern Britton: Yes
- Woman: To banish negative spirits
- Fern Britton: I do. [She bangs tambourine] Piss Off!
Episode 2
[edit]- Man 1: I see you've got another medal since we last met.
- Clive Anderson: Yes
- Man 1: This one is for valour, this one is for long service. Er..What's this one for?
- Clive Anderson: This one's for honesty... I stole it.
- Clive: We are still able to bomb Germany, which is a strange thing to do in 1988.
- Man 1: So what are we looking at here?
- Clive: What we are looking at here, and remember this is confidental information, is a map. This is our country (points to Britain), this is the enemy (points to Germany) and this lot we are not too sure about (points to France)
- Man 1: We are going to hit the town of Chrysindorf, or in English it's known as...?
- Clive: er... Berlin
- Man 2: I need to ask you. Why are we going to the Chrysindorf part of Berlin? Don't they make cheese, sir? Why bomb a cheese factory?
- Clive: Listen, when I say we bomb a cheese factory, we bomb a cheese factory.
- Man 1: Okay, chaps
- Clive: It's fascism we're fighting, you know. [Shouting] So you all do what I say!
- Woman: What were your last words?
- Hamish Blake: (A Tennis Player in Heaven) Erm... my last words were, "Was it out?" Because I sort of.. it sort of got smashed at me - quite hard - and I fell down, and the ball sort of rolled of me and I think I landed out.So on one hand, dead; on the other hand, match point
