Robert Lane "Bob" Saget (born May 17, 1956) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, and television host. Although he is best known for his past roles in family-oriented television shows, he is known outside of television for his starkly blue stand-up comedy.
Bob Saget: That Ain't Right (2007) 
- Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock shit fuck!"
- People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!
- This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.
- If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a fucked-up guy!
- Kids, do not fuck that shit; you'll get an infection.
- That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: "Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!"
- I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.