Down Periscope

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Down Periscope is a 1996 comedy movie starring Kelsey Grammer as the captain of a rust-bucket submarine (called the USS Stingray) who is fighting for his career. Rob Schneider provides comic support as the uptight executive officer, and Lauren Holly as the Navy's first female submarine crewmember.

Story and Screenplay by: Hugh Wilson, Andrew Kurtzman, and Eliot Wald
Directed by: David S. Ward

Contents

[edit] Lt Commander Dodge

  • [Upon seeing his "new" boat, the WWII-era diesel submarine Stingray.] Well, no disrespect to the USS Rustoleum here, but I'd be better off in the Merrimack!

[edit] Rear Adm. Yancy Graham

  • [Objecting at a meeting of flag officers regarding Dodge's command] Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis!

[edit] Dialogue

[Adm. Winslow reviews his special mission with Cmdr. Dodge.]
Adm. Winslow: What do you think, Mr. Dodge?
Cmdr. Dodge: I think I'm gonna get my ass kicked, sir.
Adm. Winslow: Aw, don't think like that! Damn it to hell, don't go by the book! Think like a pirate! I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?
Cmdr. Dodge: By a strange coincidence, you do, sir.
XO Pascoe: BUCKMAN! THERE WAS A FINGERNAIL IN MY FOOD, YOU FAT-ASS MORON! YESTERDAY, IT WAS A BAND-AID!
Buckman: I'm sorry, sir. The Band-Aid was holding the fingernail on.
[The Stingray is lying silent on the bottom while the Orlando floats above them. An Orlando crewman drops loose change while buying at the sub commissary and Sonar Lovacelli hears it.]
Sonar Lovacelli: Sir. It's the Orlando. Somebody just dropped 45 cents.
Cmdr. Dodge: You're sure?
Sonar: Oh, yeah. A quarter and two dimes.
[As the Orlando chases the Stingray]
Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: The admiral has the conn!
Commander Carl Knox: With all due respect sir, this is my boat.
Graham: Oh not right now it is not, with all due respect.
[During the Stingray's homecoming]
Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: Sir, this entire exercise is invalid. Dodge left the containment area -
Vice Admiral Dean Winslow: - after you narrowed him down without proper authorization.
Graham: He ignored a direct order!
Winslow: Stow it, Yancy. He had higher orders...and you can forget about that third star.

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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