Men in Black (film)

Men in Black is a 1997 science fiction comedy action film, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. The film was based on the comic books of Lowell Cunningham.

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Written by Lowell Cunningham and Ed Solomon.

Protecting the earth from the scum of the universe.

Agent K

• A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.

• Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

• Human thought is so primitive that it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. Kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?

• [Describing the Bug to J] Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan island in a brand new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?

• No ma'am. We here at the FBI have no sense of humour we're aware of.

Agent J

• You see this? Huh?! NYPD! Means I will "Nock Your Punk-ass Down!"

• You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.

• Well, well. Big, bad Bug got a bit of a soft spot, huh? What I can't understand is, why you gotta come down here bringing all this ruckus! Snatching up galaxies and everything. My attitude is: don't start nothing, won't be nothing!

Zed

• [Voice over, as Edwards becomes Agent J] You'll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MIB Special Services. You'll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on, you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. You'll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You're a rumor, recognizable only as déjà vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don't exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name, silence your native tongue. You're no longer part of the System. You are above the System. Over it. Beyond it. We're "them." We're "they." We are the Men in Black.

Dialogue

Edgar: I go out, I work my butt off to make a living. All I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away — I'm eating that, damn it! It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God, I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog that's been hit too much or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind! You're useless, Beatrice. The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck! [The Bug's flying saucer smashes into Edgar's truck. Edgar comes out of the house to look at the damage.] Figures.

Beatrice: What the heck is it, Edgar?

Edgar: Get your big butt back in the house. [Beatrice goes back inside. Edgar grabs a pump shotgun and stands over the smoking crater where his truck was parked.]

The Bug: [inside the crater] Place projectile weapon on the ground.

Edgar: You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

The Bug: Your proposal is acceptable. [A long arm with long, bony digits grabs Edgar, pulls him into the crater and consumes him.]

---

Agent J: Well, you know what they say: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Agent K: [Annoyed] Try it.

---

Agent K: Did he say anything to you?

Agent J: Yeah: The world was coming to an end.

Agent K: Did he say when?

Cast

• Tommy Lee Jones as Kevin Brown / Agent K
• Will Smith as James Darrell Edwards III / Ajent J
• Vincent D'Onofrio as Edgar the Pug
• Linda Fiorentino as Dr. Laurel Weaver / Agent L
• Rip Torn as Chief Zed
• Tony Shalhoub as Jack Jeebs
• Siobhan Fallon Hogan as Beatrice
• Mike Nussbaum as Gentle Rosenberg
• Jon Gries as Van Driver
• Sergio Calderón as Jose
• Carel Struycken as Arquillian
• Fredric Lehne as INS Agent Janus
• Kent Faulcon as 2nd Lt. Jake Jensen
• Richard Hamilton as Agent D
• David Cross as Newton the Morgue Attendant
• Tim Blaney as Frank the Pug (voice)
• Scottie Ray as Mikey and additional alien voices

See Also

• Men in Black II (2002)