School of Rock

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School of Rock is a 2003 comedy film starring Jack Black. After Dewey Finn (Black) gets kicked out of his rock band, he poses as his room mate Ned Schneebly and takes a job as a substitute teacher at Horace Green Elementary. While teaching there, he secretly turns his class into a rock band in time for a "Battle of the Bands" competition.

Written by Mike White. Directed by Richard Linklater.
Take notes.

Dewey Finn[edit]

  • Dude, I service society by rocking. I’m out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rocking ain’t no walk in the park, lady.
  • (watching the clock, waiting for the end of the day) Yes! We did it! Gimme some of that, yeah, that's it. I will see you cats on the flip-flop later!
  • I don’t wanna hang out with a bunch of wannabe corporate sellouts. I’m gonna form my own band and we’re gonna start a revolution, OK? And you’re gonna be a funny little footnote on my epic ass.
  • Miss Dumb-bum ain't your teacher today, I am. And I've got a headache and the runs.
  • We will continue our lecture on the Man when we return. Have a good music class.
  • Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym. (Variation of George Bernard Shaw quote and earlier quoted verbatim in Annie Hall)
  • The School of Rock. And we shall teach rock ‘n’ roll to the world.
  • Now you played hard in here, people, and I am proud of every last stinking one of you. So let's just give this everything we got. We may fall on our faces, but if we do, we will fall with dignity! With a guitar in our hands, and rock in our hearts! And in the words of AC/DC: "We roll tonight to the guitar bite, and for those about to rock, I salute you."
  • [After looking at the poster of demerits] What kind of a sick school is this?
  • I have been touched by your kids, and I'm pretty sure I've touched them.
  • I heard you in music class. You guys can really play. [angrily] Why didn't anyone tell me?!

Dialogue[edit]

Ned: Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
Dewey: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?
Patty: Oh my God, he's an idiot!

Mullins: Mr. Schneebly... This is considered the best elementary school in the state and we maintain that reputation by adhering to a strict code of conduct, faculty included.
Dewey: You know what? You don't have to worry about me 'cos I'm a hard-ass. If a kid gets outta line, I got no problem, smackin' 'em in the head.
Mullins: No. No, we don't use corporal punishment here.
Dewey: Okay, so just... verbal abuse?

Dewey: [to the class on his first day] Teach. Teach. Teach. Alright, look, here’s the deal. I’ve got a hangover. Who knows what that means?
Frankie: Doesn't that mean you’re drunk?
Dewey: No. It means I was drunk yesterday.
Freddy: It means you're an alcoholic.
Dewey: Wrong.
Freddy: You wouldn't come to work drunk unless you were alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease!
Dewey: Mm, hmmm. What's your name?
Freddy: Freddy Jones.
Dewey: Mm, Freddy Jones-- SHUT UP.

[Dewey's lounging at his desk]
Michelle: Are you going to teach us anything? Or are we just going to sit here?
Dewey: [mumbles] Just do whatever you want.
Summer: I want to learn from my teacher.
Dewey: [loudly] Besides that! Freddy, what do you like to do?
Freddy: [drawing flames on the name tag on his desk] I dunno... burn stuff?

Dewey: Oh, you wanna learn something?
Summer: Yes, I do.
Dewey: You want me to teach you something? [most of the students nod] Here's a useful lesson for you: give up. Just quit. Because in this life, you can't win. Sure, you can try. [really getting angry] But in the end you're just gonna lose, BIG TIME. Because THE WORLD is run by the Man.
Frankie: Who?
Dewey: The Man. Oh, you don't know the Man? [class shakes their heads] He's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, MISS MULLINS, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! OK? And there used to be a way to stick it to The Man. It was called rock ‘n’ roll. But guess what. Oh, no. The Man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! So don’t waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome, because The Man’s just going to call you a fat, washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!!!

Dewey: Now, listen, normal kids would have been stoked to slack off, but not you guys, because you're not normal, you're special. And because I think you guys have the right attitude, I think it's time we started our new class project.
Lawrence: A science project?
Dewey: No. It's called..."Rock Band".
Marta: Is this a school project?
Dewey: Yes. And it's a requirement. And it may sound easy, but nothing could be harder. It will test your head [points to his head], and your mind [points to his jaw], and your brain too [points to his forehead].
Summer: Will other schools be competing?
Dewey: You could say that. You could say that every school in the state will be competing for the top prize.
Billy: What's the prize?
Dewey: A win will go on your permanent record. Hello Harvard, Yo?

[Dewey (a.k.a. Mr. Schneebly) leads the class to his own version of The Pledge of Allegiance]
Dewey: I pledge allegiance...
Class: I pledge allegiance...
Dewey: To the band...
Class: To the band...
Dewey: Of Mr. Schneebly...
Class: Of Mr. Schneebly...
Dewey: And will not fight him...
Class: And will not fight him...
Dewey: For creative control...
Class: For creative control...
Dewey: And will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band.
Class: [mumbles incoherently]
Dewey: LET'S GET ROCKIN'!!!!! [class cheers]

Freddy: What are we gonna play?
Dewey: Uh, you don't have to worry about that. We have awesome material, which I wrote.
Zack: Let's hear it.
Dewey: What?
Zack: Let's hear your song.
Dewey: I'll play you my song, if you wanna hear it. Thing is, I just want you to keep in mind that...I wrote it in like, 15 minutes, and uh, it's not done yet, and you might not like it-
Freddy: Just play the song, Schneebly!
Dewey: Okay! I will sing it for you, just, uh, let me get in the zone, I wasn't planning on unveiling it, but I will sing it...(performs vocal exercise) Okay, it starts off a dark stage and then a beam of light and then you can see me and guitar...(imitating his guitar) dew-neew-dew-neew..." In the end of time, there was a man who knew the road, and the writing was written on the stone", and then a thin layer of fog comes in around my ankles. Roadies, that means dry ice, we're gonna go over this this later. "in the ancient time, an artist led the way, but no-one seemed to understand..." Chimes, Freddy. "in his heart he knew, the artist must be true, and the legend of the rent was way past due!" and Katie, you come in with the bass! (imitating the bass) Rim-bim-bim-bim-bim-beru-beru-bum-bara-bara-bara-bum-bum-bum "well you think you'll be just fine without me, but you're mine! You think that you can kick me out of the band?" And then Zack, you come in with a face-melter (imitates the guitar) rew-new-new-didli-new-didli-new-didli-new, ok? "Well there's just one problem there, the band is MINE! How can you kick me out(high pitched)of what is mine?" And then, sh- "Hawaii Five-O". You see that show? OK. Well, there's a drum solo in it, that goes... shugadugadugaduga "You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore" And then, that's where I want the backup singers to be all like, "No, you're not hardcore (high pitched) No you're not hardcore! (reverts to normal singing voice) unless you live hardcore (imitating backup singers) unless you live hardcore! (back to his own voice) but the legend of the rent, was way hardcore! BOOM! Big old explosion, some, like, confetti or something comes down. Anyway, that's all I got so far, it's a work in progress.
Summer: I liked it Mr. Schneebly. I thought it was really catchy!
Dewey: Thank you.

Summer: You want me to be a groupie?
Dewey: Well, groupie is an important job.
Summer: I researched groupies on the Internet. They're sluts! They sleep with the band!
Dewey: No, that's not true! They're like cheerleaders.
Summer: I don't want to be a cheerleader. Look, my mom is a room parent, and she's not gonne be happy when she hears about this.
Dewey: Summer, I didn't want to tell you this in front of the class, but I made a special position just for you: Band manager.
Summer: Band manager? What's that?

Dewey: Look, the first thing you do when you start a rock band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera.
Dewey: Who? No! Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy.
Dewey: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?
Dewey: What are you...? You guys! This project is called "Rock Band". I'm talking about bands that rock. Led Zeppelin. [the class gives him blank stares] Don't tell me you guys have never got the Led out. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant? Ring any bells? What about Sabbath? ...AC/DC? ...Motörhead? Oh, what do they teach in this place?!

Freddy: Um, are we going to be goofing off like this every day?
Dewey: Uh, we're not goofing off, we're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Well, are we going to be creating musical fusion every day?
Dewey: Yeah, get used to it.
[Freddy smiles.]

Dewey: If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at "the man", and right now I'm "the man". That's right, I'm "the man", and who's got the guts to tell me off? Who's gonna tell me off?
Freddy: Shut the hell up, Schneebly!
Dewey: That's it, Freddy. That's it. Who can top him?
Alicia: Get out of here, stupid ass.
Dewey: Yes, Alicia.
Summer: You're a joke. You're the worst teacher I've ever had.
Dewey: Summer, that is great. I like the delivery. I felt your anger.
Summer: Thank you.
Lawrence: You're a fat loser, and you have body odor.
Dewey: All right. All right. Now is everyone nice and pissed off?
Class: Yeah!
Dewey: Good! Time to write a rock song! Now what makes you mad more than anything in the world? Billy?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: OK, you see me after class.

Freddy: I'm just saying, name two great chick drummers.
Katie: Sheila E? Meg White from The White Stripes?
Freddy: She can't drum!
Katie: She's a better drummer than you. At least she has rhythm.
Mullins: Freddy, where are your sleeves? And what have you done to your hair?
Freddy: It's called punk.
Mullins: Well, it's not school uniform. [pulls Freddy's sleeves back down]
Frankie: Miss Mullins, you're The Man.
Mullins: Thank you, Frankie.
[Frankie and some of the other students giggle behind her back.]

Dewey: [singing] Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool thing. So get off your 'ath, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math. Three minus four is...
Summer: Negative one.
Dewey: [singing] That's riiiiight. And six times a billion is...
Marco: Six billion?
Dewey: [singing] Nailed it! And 54 is 45 more than...What is the answer Marta?
Marta: Nine.
Dewey: [singing] No it's eight.
Marta: [singing] No, it's nine.
Dewey: [singing] ...Yes, I was just testing you, it's nine. And that's a magic number.

Gabe: We were just discussing testing. Which test do you find most effective, the TAAS or the Wilson-Binet?
Dewey: I say no testing , and I will tell you why, Joe.
Gabe: Gabe.
Dewey: Gabe. I believe... That the children are the future. Now listen, you can teach them well, but buddy, you have got to let them lead the way. And let the children's laughter...just remind us of how we used to be. That's what I decided long ago.
Bob: Isn't that a song?
Dewey: No, uh, I don't think so. No, no it isn't.
Bob: Are you sure?
Dewey: No, uh, I don't think so. It's not.

Dewey: I totally screwed up. I told the kids that if they practiced, they'd get into the Battle of the Bands.
Coordinator: What'd you tell them that for?
Dewey: I don't know, I just...I wanted to give them something to look forward to, to keep their spirits up. Look at them. [he and the Coordinator look at the kids, who are faking sick] They're terminal. Every last one of them. And all they wanted to do before they bit the dust was play Battle of the Bands.
Coordinator: What do they all have?
Dewey: It’s a... rare blood disease. "Stick-it-to-da-man-neosis."
Coordinator: What's that? I've never heard of it.
Dewey: You're lucky. Because it's hell.

Mullins: In your experience, how does Horace Green compare to the other schools that you’ve taught at?
Dewey: Oh, your school is the best.
Mullins: You're just saying that.
Dewey: I'm not. Do you know that kids at other schools just have fun all the time? They're running around. There's no discipline. They're happy. It's anarchy. This is the best school I have ever teached at. I swear Most Awesome Cousin Jeff.

Tomika: Mr. S, I don't think I can sing.
Dewey: What're you talkin' about? C'mere.
Dewey: Listen, Tomika, what's going on? What do you mean, you can't sing?
Tomika: I don't feel good. I feel sick. Just let Alicia and Marta do it.
Dewey: No! They can't sing like you can, I need you in the chorus! What is it, are you nervous?
[Tomika nods]
Dewey: Yeah? Why? What are you afraid of?
Tomika: They're gonna laugh at me.
Dewey: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno. 'Cause I'm fat?
Dewey: Tomika... Hey, you've got something everybody wants: You've got talent, girl! You have an incredible singing voice, and I'm not just saying that. You've heard of Aretha Franklin, right? OK, she's a big lady. But when she starts singing, she blows people's minds! Everybody wants to party with Aretha! And, uh, you know who else has a weight issue?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey: Me. But once I get up on stage and start rockin', people worship me! Because I'm sexy! And chubby, man.
Tomika: Why aren't you on a diet?
Dewey: Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime? Look, you know what? That's not even the point. The thing is, you're a rock star now. All you gotta do is just go out there and rock your heart out. People are gonna dig you, I swear. Let's go out there and show 'em what we got, what do you say?

[Billy has just showed off his completed stage outfits for Katie and Freddy]
Dewey: I dunno.... They might be a little distracting...
Billy: It's glitter-rock, and it's glam, and it's fabulous!
Dewey: ....Billy, it's just not the right style.
Billy: Style?! You're gonna talk to me about style?! You can't even dress yourself! Look at that bow tie!
Dewey: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie!
Billy: You know what? I give up, they can just wear their uniforms.
Dewey: That's not a bad idea...

(Summer's plan to lie to the judges about a fatal disease has gotten the kids into the Battle of the Bands.)
Dewey: Summer, you get an A+ and fifty gold stars!
Summer: [smiles] I didn't do it for the grade.

[The entire class is depressed after learning the truth about Dewey and the Battle of the Bands.]
Michelle: So, his name really wasn't Mr. Schneebly?
Freddy: Nah, it was, like, Dewey somethin'...
Marco: What about the project?
Frankie: Wake up, Marco. There was no project.
Zack: He just wanted us to play a show so we could make some money.
Summer: I can't believe we weren't getting graded in any of this.
Freddy: What are you so bummed about? We had a three week vacation! Yeah, it was a waste of time, but it was a lot better than school.
Lawrence: It was not a waste of time!
Freddy: Hate to break it to you, dude, but yeah, it was.
Lawrence: You're an idiot.
Freddy: Hey, shut up!
Lawrence: No, you shut up!
Freddy: Hey, you wanna go?!
Tomika: [stands up in Lawrence's defense] Hey, you touch him, I'll shove those sticks down your throat, got it?! [Freddy retreats] [to class] Mr. S was cool. We worked too long and hard not to play the show!
Freddy: OK... But what do we do?
Alicia: I say we get out of here and play the damn show.

Dewey: (half asleep) How'd you guys get in here?
Freddy: Front door was open.
Dewey: Why aren't you guys in school?
Lawrence: We did what you told us. We stuck it to the Man.
Dewey: Look, I'm a loser, OK? You listen to my advice, you'll end up like me with nothing.
Freddy: Come on man, quit goofing around. This is serious business. We're on a mission. One great rock show can change the world. (bus horn honks from outside) Look out the window.
[Dewey looks outside to find the school bus with all the other kids calling for him to come down]
Dewey: No way... That is so punk rock...

[The kids have arrived to find No Vacancy, Dewey's old band, on stage]
Dewey: Guys, you don't have to listen to those hacks! Come on, band meeting, right now, gather round. Alright. Frankie, how's security?
Frankie: We're set.
Dewey: Gordon, what about the lights?
Gordon: The light board's up in the balcony. I'll patch it up there.
Dewey: Alright. OK now, Billy, how's beautification?
Billy: Are you kidding?
Dewey: OK, listen up you guys, we only have one song to let these guys know who are...so I think we should play Zack's.
Zack: But why? I mean...really?
Dewey: Yes! The thing is, you guys, I ain't that good. I'm not, I can admit it, but dude, you're ten years old, you're already better than me, your song rocks harder, so let's play it! But hey, you know what? That's just one guy's opinion. This ain't my band, it's our band, we all have a say.
Summer: We haven't practiced that one as much. I mean, we might not win!
Dewey: Hey. We didn't come here to win, we came to play one great show. And on Zack's song, you guys really rock. You know my vote, who else is with me?
(He lowers his hand into the middle of the circle, and the kids place theirs atop it)
Dewey: Alright, let's pray. God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants, please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name, we pray. Amen.
All: Amen.
Dewey: Now let's get out there and MELT SOME FACES!
All: Yeah!

Summer: What's wrong?
Dewey: 'What's wrong?' Summer, didn't you hear we lost?!
Freddy: Chill out, dude. Rock isn't about getting an A. Sex Pistols never won anything.
Lawrence: Don't let the Man get you down.
Zack: You gotta cheer up dude, we played a kick-ass show.
Dewey: We did, didn't we? It was unbelievable, wasn't it?!
Summer: Yeah.

Miss Mullins: [about the teachers] They hate me.
Dewey Finn: No they don't.
Miss Mullins: Yes they do, I can see. I wasn't always like this, you know, I wasn't always wound this tight. There was a time where I was fun. I was funny! I was. But you can't be funny and be the principal of a prep school! No, you cannot. Because when it comes to their kids, these parents have no sense of humor. No. And if something goes wrong its my head in the smasher. And these parents will come down on me like a nuclear bomb! I can't make a mistake! I gotta be perfect! And that pressure has turned me into something that I never wanted to be! (silently mouthing the words) A bitch!
Dewey Finn: No you're not.
Miss Mullins: Yes I am. I am a big one!

Cast[edit]

Taglines[edit]

  • Take Notes.
  • Mr. Black. Accept no substitute. Come on feel the noize.
  • He just landed the gig of his life: 5th grade.
  • We don't need no education.
  • We shall teach Rock & Roll to the world!

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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