Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990 film)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a 1990 film about a quartet of humanoid turtles trained by their mentor in ninjitsu who must learn to pull together in order to face the menace of Shredder and the Foot Clan.
- [as he is watching "The Tortoise & The Hare" with Donatello] Go! Move it, will ya? Aw, you're letting him blow right by ya! Can you believe this guy? Come on! Don't just...! Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! Do something!
- [He avoids an attack by retracting his head inside his shell. He then pops his head out again and punches the ninja.] God, I love being a turtle!
- Wise men say, 'forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza'!
- I love being a turtle!!!
- Oh, and I want no anchovies. And I mean, no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay?!
- [repeated line] Damn.
- [As he is fighting the Foot Clan on a rooftop.] You guys must be studying the, uuh, abridged book of ninja fighting.
- [As he is fighting Casey Jones] A José Canseco bat? Tell me you didn't pay money for this.
- [Chasing Casey Jones] Come back here! I'm not finished with you! DAAAMMNN!!
- [After shoving Casey, preventing him from killing the thieves] How 'bout a five minute game misconduct for roughing, pal?
- I do hope there's more o' them.
- I lost a sai! But, I can get it back!
- (After Casey pulls out a cricket Bat) Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
- [Turtles are watching April on TV, Michelangelo's teasing Raphael] I think he's actually turning red! [Raphael throws sai, sticks to floor between Donatello's legs] Uh, maybe not.
- [The Turtles & Casey Jones are inside April's apartment fighting the Foot, who's numbers are continuing to increase.] Hey guys? I'm not so sure this is uh, structurally speaking, such a good time for your ah, buddies to drop in...
- [April and Casey fight then go into different rooms, slamming the doors after them] Gosh, it's kind of like Moonlighting, isn't it?
- [After losing at a rock paper scissor match against Michaelangelo] Damn!
April O'Neil 
- [Opening Lines] Much more than just a series of small, isolated incidents, it's now apparent that an organized criminal element is at work and at the moment, business is good. So good in fact that there appear to be no eyewitnesses to any of these crimes. With complaints ranging from purse snatching to breaking and entering, police switchboards have been swamped with the angry voices of more and more citizens who have fallen prey to the recent surge of crime that continues to plague the city. Instead of getting better, things are actually getting worse. Even more alarming is the baffling and often bizarre nature of these crimes. Merchandise of every size and description from skateboards to stereo systems has been disappearing from store shelves and storage areas at an alarming rate. Even the victims themselves rarely catch a glimpse of the thieves. Many don't even know they've been victimized until it's too late. In fact, police have yet to come up a single eyewitness. Only a few vague reports of young boys or teenagers at the scenes have been filed. But whoever is behind these crimes, one thing is certain, these are much than just a series of random isolated incidents. Crimes without criminals? An invisible gang at work? Who are we gonna call? Unfortunatly the police are the only ones to combat what some are already dubbing the silent crime wave. But perhaps the most disturbing silence is that coming from city hall. April O'Neill, Channel 3 Eyewitness News.
- And then there's Casey Jones, a nine-year-old trapped in a man's body. He might be cute except for that pigheadedness.
- [to Chief Sterns] Would you mind repeating that again, in English perhaps?
Casey Jones 
- That was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes. And this is the penalty. Two minutes for slashing... two minutes for hooking... and let's not forget my personal favorite: two minutes for high sticking.
- [to the Foot Soldiers of Raph] You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there, hm? [sees April] Oh, who is the babe?
- [to Tatsu] A little Primatene might just help to clear that up there.
- [after knocking Tatsu out with a golf club] I'll never call golf a dull game again.
- I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy, and all you can say is 'Hi'?
- [After seeing Raphael for the first time] Hey, what are you? Some sort of punker? I hate punkers. Especially bald ones with green makeup...who wear masks over ugly faces.
- 'Class is Pain 101... your instructor's Casey Jones.'
- [While activating the trash compactor with Shredder inside] Oops!
- [repeated line] Kids.
- All fathers care for their sons.
- I too once had a family, Danny. Many years ago I lived in Japan: a pet of my master Yoshi, mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the mysterious art of Ninjitsu, for Yoshi was one of Japan's finest shadow warriors. His only rival was a man named Oroko Saki, and they competed in all things, but in nothing more fiercely than for the love of a woman, Thang Shin. Shin's love was only for my master and rather than see him fight Saki for her hand, she persuaded Yoshi to flee with me to America. But Saki vowed vengeance. I remember it well, as my master returned home to find his beloved Shin lying on the floor, and then he saw her killer. Saki wasted no words, and during the struggle, my cage was broken. I leapt to Saki's face, biting and clawing, but he threw me to the floor and took one swipe with his Katana, slicing my ear. Then he was gone, and I was alone.
- I am proud of you, my sons. Tonight you have learned the final and greatest truth of the Ninja: that ultimate mastering comes not from the body, but from the mind. Together, there is nothing your four minds cannot accomplish. Help each other, draw upon one another, and always remember the power that binds you. The same is what brought me here tonight, that which I gladly return with my final words: I love you all, my sons.
- [Confronting Shredder] Yes, Oroku Saki, I know who you are. We met many years ago, in the home of my master... [snarls] HAMATO YOSHI!!!
- Death comes for us all, Oruku Saki, but something much worse comes for you, for when you die, it will be... without honour.
- I have always liked Cowabunga!
The Shredder 
- You are here because the outside world rejects you. This is your family. I am your father. I want you all to become full members of the Foot. There is a new enemy: freaks of nature who interfere with our business. You are my eyes and ears; find them. Together we will punish these creatures. These... Turtles.
- There will be no mistake this time. I go myself.
- [After Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo discard their weapons to save Leonardo.] Fools! The three of you may have overpowered me with the loss of but one! Now your fate....Will be his!
- [Removes his mask to face Splinter, revealing the scars underneath from their last encounter.] You! Now I will finish what I began with YOUR EAR!
- [Taunting all the turtles.] Ahhh the rat... So it has a name ... It HAD a name ...
- [after a teen bumps into him by accident] Go... play.
- Never lower your eyes to an enemy.
- Ninja vanish!
- [Two Foot are left after Raphael defeats a large number. They look at each other in fright and confusion.]
- Raphael: I mean, come on, how do you guys expect to beat me?
- [Camera pans as an overwhelming number of Foot leap onto the rooftop.]
- Raphael: Good answer. Good answer!
- Casey Jones: New game, round-head. Cricket?
- Raphael: Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.
- Casey Jones: I'll teach you! [swings and hits Raphael into a trash can]
- Raphael: [struggles to get out]
- Casey Jones: [running] So long, freak! I've got work to do!
- Raphael: [finally free of the can and furious] FREAK!? FREAK!?
- Michaelangelo: [while Leonardo slices the pizza] Yes, friends, the new turbo ginsu. Wa-hoo! It dices, it slices, and it makes French fries and three different...
- [a pizza slice lands on Splinter's head]
- Michaelangelo: WHOOPS.
- Splinter: Kids...
- April: Will I ever see you guys again?
- Michelangelo: Indubitably!
- Leonardo: Well, that depends on how fast you stock your pizza.
- Chief Sterns: We are presently executing a plan of redeployment that will minimize response time while maximizing coordination between patrol units in a decentralized networking scheme.
- April: Hmm, I'm not sure I understood all of that, Chief Sterns. Would you mind repeating it, in English perhaps?
- [Shredder shows up]
- Leonardo: Does anybody have any idea about who or what this is?
- Michelangelo: I don't know. But I'll bet it never has to look for a can opener.
- The Shredder: You fight well in the old style, but you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face... The Shredder.
- Donatello: The Shredder?
- Michelangelo: Uuh... maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
- Raphael: Where's Splinter.
- Shredder: Ah, the rat! So it has a name! ...It HAD a name.
- Leonardo: You lie!!
- Shredder: Do I?
- April: What did you do, did you take classes in insensitivity?
- Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.
- April: Oh, well, you failed miserably!
- Casey Jones: Hey, Broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standing here if it weren't for me.
- April: And what do you want? Do you want a thank you?
- Casey Jones: No, it's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?
- [while fighting The Foot]
- Michelangelo: Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from shell shock.
- Donatello: Too derivative.
- Michelangelo: Well, I guess we can really shell it out.
- Donatello: Too cliché.
- Michelangelo: Well, it was a shell of a good hit!
- Donatello: I like it! [to next opponent] Step up!
- Donatello: Nice night.
- Michelangelo: Mmm-hmm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds.
- Donatello: Hey, Mikey...You ever think about what Splinter said? About, y'know...Us not havin' him?
- Michelangelo: Hmmm... time's up! Three bucks off.
- Leonardo: [about Casey] Who the heck is that?
- Michelangelo: Wayne Gretzky? On steroids?
- April: Hasn't Raph been gone a long time?
- Donatello: Nah, he does it all the time. He likes it.
- April: Are you sure?
- Donatello: Don't worry. He'll probably be back any minute now...
- [An unconscious Raphael is thrown through the skylight, landing at Donatello's feet]
- Casey Jones: Not even close, Zip Neck. Professor and Mary Anne. Happily ever after.
- Donatello: No way, Atomic Mouth, Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.
- Casey Jones: Gilligan was a geek, Barfaroni!
- Donatello: You're the geek, Camel Breath!
- Casey Jones: Dome head.
- Donatello: Elf lips!
- [Casey finishes fixing the engine.]
- Casey Jones: Okay let's give this a try, funkoid!
- Donatello: Here it goes... What are we on?
- Casey Jones: Uh, G.
- Donatello: Here it goes, gak face!
- Casey Jones: I'm ready, hose brain!
- Donatello: You're a claustraphobic!
- Casey Jones: You want a fist in the mouth? I've never even looked at another guy before!
- Michelangelo: Oh man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now.
- Danny: I had some pizza here the other day. There might be some left over.
- [Michelangelo runs over to the table, Donatello takes a look at it]
- Donatello: Question!
- Michelangelo: Grrr...yeah?!?
- Donatello: Do you like penicillin on your pizza?
- Michelangelo: Doh!
- [Donatello and Michelangelo start humming "Taps"]
- [after Raphael gets a mention from April on the news]
- Donatello: Hey, look. I think he's blushing.
- Raphael: I am not.
- Donatello: I think he's actually turning red. [Raphael chucks a Sai into the floor between Donatello's legs] Hmm, maybe not.
- Leonardo: We were awesome!
- Michelangelo: Bodacious!
- Raphael: Bitchin'!
- Donatello: uuh...
- Michelangelo: Gnarly!
- Leonardo: Radical!
- Raphael: Totally tubular!
- Michelangelo: Wicked!
- Raphael: Hellacious!
- Donatello: uuh... mega...
- Splinter: I have always liked... 'Cowabunga'.
- The Turtles: ...COWABUNGA!!!
- Splinter: [laughs] I made a funny! [laughs again]
- Heroes in a half shell!
- Hey dude, this is no cartoon.
- Lean, Green And On The Screen.
- They're mean, green and on the screen
- This ain't no cartoon.
- All fathers care for their sons.
- Judith Hoag - April O'Neil
- Elias Koteas - Casey Jones
- Josh Pais - Raphael/Man In Cab
- Raymond Serra - Chief Sterns
- David Forman - Leonardo/Gang Leader
- Michelan Sisti - Michaelangelo/Pizza Man
- Leif Tilden - Donatello/Foot Messenger
- Michael Turney - Dan 'Danny' Pennington
- Jay Patterson - Charles Pennington
- James Saito - The Shredder/Oroko Saki
- Toshirô Obata - Master Tatsu