- Directed by Arin Paul. Written by Padmanabha Dasgupta.
- I've got a career. Don't you guys know that? A career! No mafia don invites me to a party. They keep on calling on Dawood twice a year. They keep on consulting him. They set the correspondence courses right. And me? No one just gives a damn for me. Hey! Won't I ever be able to become someone like Dawood Ibrahim?
- We'll thrash them in all dictions and in all directions. Let's move. Everybody buck up. No more tomfoolery. Now the real... ...er... real... er... real battle. Now the real battle! Now... Abortion! Oops! Shit! What disgrace! Operation! Operation! Now...
- There was a girl called Nanibala... ...used to live in a ladies' hostel. The whole day... sitting by the window... ...she used to bite her nails! I will never forget Nanibala.
- Nanibala... ...used to bite her nails. Nanibala... Maybe it's because of you I'm blessed with love I know you are peerless! Nanibala!
- Hey! Hey, you! Fleeing away, eh? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Wanna drag it to the last scene? Playing the tricks to have a bigger role, no?
- Look at all these books. GODFATHER! This one... QUIET FLOWS THE DON! Guess the meaning of the title... ... Mr. Don flees away...quietly.
- It's you who invokes the rain in the town. But the rain doesn't soak my soul. My soul's for you... ...and deep down there... ...celebrations all around! When I behold you... ...it seems your body's made up of the soft rose petals! Your lips... ...are they the same artist as they had once been?
- FISH CAUGHT IN THE HOOK...
- Abortions! Like what all the leading mafias do... ...abortions after abortions after abortions.
- Oh, yes. I know. Just the memory chip went phut, you see.
- My name is Montu Singh. There's a film on my life... ...Singh is King.
- Hey! The cranky receiver of the dead telephone!
- Wow! I don't need recharging, eh? Mine isn't a man's life, right? I'm immune from all hormonal tricks, you mean?
- Neither I spare the rest, nor I spare myself any rest. My name is Muktadhara.
- ...If you do kidnap the whole of Kolkata... ...who'll be paying the ransom?
- I am the horror of the underworld... Fontu Singh!
- So, what's up? The celebrations? Stepping in as a new hero of Bengali film...
- Oh, I really wish people just thronged around to see your first film. Just a sec. Wanna know... ...Original story, or pirated?
- Montu: Why should he call me a lanky bloke? That too in front of Pinkie!
- Brother: Pinkie!... Meaning?
- Banalata: Pooh! My name is... Banalata!
- Montu: I call one as one should be called.
- Durgaprasad: Hello! Yes... Yes, I am already talking, ain't I?
- Customer Care Voice: To know your balance, dial 0.
- Customer Care Voice: Now dial hash.
- Durgaprasad: Dash?
- Brother of Banalata: Hash. Hash. There it is.
- Durgaprasad: Yes, I have. Now...
- Customer Care Voice: To know in Bengali, dial 2. To know in Hindi, dial 4. To know in Honoluluian, dial 7. OK.
- Durgaprasad: Benglulu... I mean, Bengali... 2... 2.
- Customer Care Voice: Thank you. Now to register your question... ...divide 29 by 4 and half, and then press that digit.
- Durgaprasad: Divide 29 by 4 and half... what's quotient?
- Brother of Banalata: Just a minute. Seven and half.
- Durgaprasad: Beat it! No button for half!
- Brother of Banalata: Sir, press the one in the nearest proximity.
- Customer Care Voice: Sorry. Time out! To start it afresh, dial 5. Damn it. Now... ... To know in Bengali, dial 7. To know in Honoluluian, dial 4.
- Durgaprasad: Bengali... Honoluluian... Bengali... 7.
- Customer Care Voice: Now press hash and let us know what you want to do.
- Durgaprasad: I want to perform my last rites. What else?
- Customer Care Voice: Sorry. We don't have any information regarding your last rites.
- Durgaprasad: Hey! Hey! Now it's really getting on my nerves.
- Brother of Banalata: This is why, sir, I'm scared of calling the Customer Care. A brother of mine has gone full mad, you know! He called them up for 4 days on the trot. Now even if you address him... ...he'd ask you to press the button.
- Durgaprasad: No. I'll try once more. Note, I'm getting real cross!
- Customer Care Voice: Hello! Welcome to Key Mobile Service. Just remember your call charge is Rs. 7 per minute. Now you listen to the menu.
- Durgaprasad: Hey! Hey! They're playing music on my cost.
- Customer Care Voice: Don't talk so loud. The circuit might break down.
- Durgaprasad: Hey! I will break everything down. I want to know about my payment.
- Customer Care Voice: To know about payments, press 5... ...and then go for the language option.
- Durgaprasad: Hey! Language option! The language you use... ...is it worth opting for? Playing on language! Is it a document or what?
- Customer Care Voice: To know about the documents... press star.
- Durgaprasad: Documents!... Star!... Damn it! What's all this? I just want an information. How do I get that?
- Customer Care Voice: Sorry. You just put your year of birth.
- Durgaprasad: Year of... Done.
- Customer Care Voice: Now put down... ...your year of death... age at the time of death... ...whether you've been wearing trousers at the time death.
- Durgaprasad: I'll really become insane. Hey, listen! I am not yet dead.
- Customer Care Voice: If you are not yet dead, say that. Say 'Arukkam' in Telugu. Say 'Guzar gya' in Hindi.
- Durgaprasad: I am not yet dead! Thank you.
- Customer Care Voice: You will be connected to the Key Mobile Customer Care... ...within 37 hours. Hold it.
- Durgaprasad: 37 hours! Hey! Hey! Won't that be too early? Bloody swine! Hello!
- Customer Care Voice: Sorry. Your call is being disconnected.
- Durgaprasad: Hey! Disconnected? Eh? For Bengali 5... 5? Does that the Customer Care look like?
- Brother of Banalata: No idea.
- Durgaprasad: Blistering barnacles!... Hello!
- Montu:You'd whisper hello in my ears!
- Banalata:Mind your gears!
- Phontu: Oh, my! Boss, it's the minister!
- Durgaprasad: Shut up. Minister is Pratim Chatterjee. This is Apratim.
- Phontu: Oh.
- Durgaprasad: Oh, yes. Who bit Chameli's nose?
- Phontu: Boss... Sorry. It was a mistake. Er... I intended to kiss on her chicks... ...but stumbled there and landed on her nose.
- Soumitra Chatterjee - Don Durgaprasad
- Subrat Dutta - Apratim
- Aparajita Ghosh Das - Ranjita
- Claudia Ciesla
- Kanchan Mullick - Montu
- Prasun gain - Phontu
- Parambrata Chatterjee - Parambrata (Guest Appearance)
- Padmanabha Dasgupta - Don Muktodhara
- Abir Chatterjee - Brother of Banalata
- Kousani Roy - Banalata